Dresses at the Playground Not Allowed?

Updated on October 19, 2011
J.M. asks from Doylestown, PA
21 answers

After reading another posters question about modesty at a playground I was surprised by how many rules there were regarding girl’s attire at the playground. My 5 yo daughter goes it fluffy dresses to the playground all the time (the only rule I’ve set is no heels to the playground-even though if it were her choice shed wear heels and still rough house and climb things), and climbs up things, shimmies down things, and flips all around. I've never even thought of putting shorts under her dress. Kids wear bathing suits at the park when the sprinklers are on and that’s the same as underwear. Of course if she was holding her dress up in the air being silly I would tell her to put her dress down, or if her dress is to short I throw tights under it, but I'm not going to make a big stink and force her to wear shorts under J. in case her dress moves to the side for a second when climbing something. Honestly I've watched her play and unless it was for a second it’s never happened. I mean shorts can be loose and move to the side as well. I'm surprised that so many moms think it’s so bad if underwear shows on a kid for a second. I know there are pervs out there, but honestly at the playground its J. parents and kids and I keep an eye on her, and I doubt if there was a perv there he'd only look at ids with dresses?! Ugh! It's Horrible to even think of! So does everyone forbid dresses while playing? Does everyone always put shorts or tights under them? I've never thought of it until that post. My daughter loves dresses and playing like a 5 yo so unless there is a safety concern she can roll in the dirt and climb up rock walls in it J. as if she was wearing sweats (she hates jeans), thats what shes happiest doing, she loves her dresses, and honestly i get comments for senior citizens ll the time that its refreshing to see a little girl all dressed up playing like they used to. I mean clothes can be washed. IDK that’s my thinking. What’s your opinion? Maybe I'll learn something=)

OK SO I AGREE SOMEWHAT AND BY NEXT YEAR AT SUMMER TIME SHE WILL BE ALMOST 6 SO I'LL ENSTATE SHORTS UNDER THEN=)

I agree with you Jo W. thats what I was thinking, at the playground kids clothes are always flying up, unless your sending them in full body suits something might peak out
Honestly, i wouldn't be so afraid of my daughter catching a quick glimse of something. It would probably lead to an educational talk.

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So What Happened?

i agree when she gets a little bigger and starts hanging pside down I'd probably put shorts on with it, or maybe by then she'll be wearing pants, but until then it doesn;t concern M., she still slides down the firemands pole, and climbs, but yea I guyess when shes upside down a bumch I might change it up. I don;t think that people unless staring ALOT would be able to see anything more than underwear if they glanced at that second. IDK I J. don't find underwear being seen for a split second that big of a deal. Most of the time she wears tights undr J. b/c of weather but on really hot days I don't make her, ussually she'll have a bathing suit on under. Ussually in summer months kids are wearing swim shorts whioch dont cover much at the playground, so I think during those same months where its super hot it shouldn't be so shameful to not wer shorts.

Featured Answers

L.C.

answers from Houston on

I loved wearing dresses in kindergaten. That was 1984 and I wore shorts under my dresses. I was much more comfortable that way and even at 5, I didn't want anyone seeing my underwear. Panties are a lot thinner than a swimsuit. I think it would make others feel awkward seeing a little girl (past diaper age) at the park jumping around with nothing but panties underneath.

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M.C.

answers from Dallas on

I grew up wearing shorts under dresses on the playground in the 70s. I was one who liked to hang upside-down on the monkey bars a lot, too, so there would have been a lot of underwear showing if I didn't!

4 moms found this helpful

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T.K.

answers from Dallas on

My daughters wear shorts under. I dont see any reason not to. I can see plenty of reasons they should. Yes, kids run around in swimsuits in the proper time and place. That's not the same as catching the forbidden peekaboo. Kids point and laugh - I saw your panties. Why oh why would I want that to happen to my little jelly bean?

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M.L.

answers from Houston on

Well, girls have to wear shorts or leggings under dresses at my son's elementary school during recess/pe, otherwise they have to sit out. And yes, I see plenty of little girl parts while at the playground, I would rather not my 5 year old and 3 year old sons see that. Really, even them siting down and crossing their legs... I have been flashed so many times... and I don't mean a "split second" either, by girls of all ages, I am constantly having to tell my 9 yr old students to put their legs down. Underwear coverage is not usually the same as bathing suit coverage, b/c kids in bathing suits aren't sliding down poles/slides, doing cartwheels, hanging on monkey bars, climbing ladders or running around on tall platforms... It's good to teach modesty at a young age. Also, you wouldn't want her to get teased by it would you? Really, it's better to get them used to it now, then to all of a sudden spring it on them. They will have a hard time understanding, why was it okay last year, but not this year?

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

I used to volunteer at our daughters elementary school in the gym. There was a male coach for all of the kids in school. It was suggested and encouraged that the girls wear shorts under dresses.. yes even the kindergartners.

We would do the stretched on the gym floor. The children facing us and yes, the little girls with no shorts.. when they spread their legs.. the panties could shift and many times you could see their privates or part of their privates.. Some of the girls wore panties that were to big.. Those also shifted. I was shocked..

But it was also the boys that wore the lose fitting shorts and the pants would fall while the kids were running around or climbing..

Some of the boys wore boxers or went camo and when they stretched I got an eyeful..

J. keep it in mind.. I was so surprised that the poor coach was having to deal with this. Even though it had been asked. I guess parents did not understand.

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A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

yes our daughter wears shorts under dresses. This is a dad rule that I enforce. She is a soccer player, girl scout, falling all the time, running, jumping girly girl/tomboy. She doesn't know "lady like".

This is not a battle I care to have with my husband, he says she wears shorts under her dresses and that is that.

Personally, I HATE dresses so if it were up to M. she wouldn't wear them. I don't buy them for her (grandma does)...but it is what is.

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Well, in the other post, the mother was the O. that expressed concern about immodesty in situations like "her dress coming up when she's sliding down the fireman's pole AT the playground" so I think a logical solution to her particular issue would be to NOT to wear a dress to the playground.

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⊱.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I wore shorts under my dresses as a kid in the 70s. Our daughter has worn them under dresses since she was in school at 3 yo. She's now in 1st grade and still wears them and will continue to. In fact, the teachers mentioned it in back to school night when she was in kindergarten. It's kind of a no-brainer thing, really.

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N.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

When my daughter was about to turn 2, SHE decided...sort of an all out strike, that she would wear nothing but dresses. She lived in simple cotton knit dresses most of the time. In winter she wore cable knit tights...usually a funky patterned one with her plain dresses (we had a lot of Lands End dresses...loved them). This went on until the last weeks of Kindergarten when she finally wore some leggings....but until she was about 8 it was still mostly dresses.

We had a rule, however. Playground play meant bike shorts underneath. She relented (after weeks and weeks of sitting out). I do home daycare so alot of it was even in our own backyard...but other kids were around...even after daycare hours many neighborhood kids came over (we had a great yard!). As soon as she got back in the house after the park or our own yard, she whipped those shorts off.

It was a dress only zone for years here, but I was strict about the no-panties peeking out as well. I do not want to see any girl or womens under clothes out in public. I don't even like to see bra straps on teens or any other age. Why would you purposely not wear a tank or tshirt that covers them up? When did THAT become socially acceptable??

Keep your under things UNDER...and for M. that teaching began when my daughter was very young. She dresses very modestly now as a 17 year old and I am glad. At no time did I want her to equate underwear with swimsuit. They ARE different and a distinction should be made in my opinion. J. like the bra straps thing. I HATE that.

I think if little girls are going to be climbing and such, they should be dressed right. If they want to wear a dress, GREAT! But cover up the panties. No one wants to or needs to have access to that view of anyone elses child. JMO~

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

for my daycare, I require shorts under the dresses. I have had lttle girls HURT on the slide when their undies shift & they end up with road rash "down there". It hurts, & it becomes aggravated with each trip to the bathroom. A simple pair of shorts prevents all of this.

Modesty is not the issue....

Been doing the home daycare thing for quite a few years....it's simply easier on the little girls to have some protection!

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

I think all of this is funny considering even wearing a shirt and shorts my daughters managed to give shows since when upside down your top flies up too. I go with let the poor things be kids. Soon enough they figure out to cover up.

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

I was the kid who was always upside down;

handstands
cartwheels
monkey bars
tree climbing

And I NEVER went slow enough on the swings once I learned to pump myself for my dress NOT to be completely blown up every time I went forward.

Doesn't sound like you've got 'that kid'.

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

I'm surprised the focus has been almost entirely on modesty. While that's very important too, there is a safety reason to have your girl in shorts or leggings under skirts and dresses. She's sliding down poles and straddling riding toys or whatever with nothing but panties between her and that hot, or cold, or rusty, or rough, metal? Even plastic gets hot or cold or can have rough surfaces. I've seen playground poles that would tear a kid's inner thighs up if she slid down them with nothing but panties between her and the pole. These things are outside and get rough from weather, peeled paint, rusted surfaces. Besides the modesty issue, I would think most girls would want something else there because it would be uncomfortable. And if they sit on the ground -- mulch! Ouch!

Our elementary school says girls need to wear leggings or shorts under skirts on gym days. No specific rules about recess that I know of. My daughter's always worn trousers or leggings when at a park or school.

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T.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

My girls wear dresses a lot of the time. I J. put little pantaloons under them, especially for the little one. The older girls (11 and 8) will wear leggings if they think they will be climbing or swinging upside down or something. :) I found some clearance knit capris at Old Navy for my youngest (5), and bought all that they had. They are perfect for under dresses. They fall right about to the hemline, so they are the perfect length. She wears them to church also because sometimes she will sit in her chair with her knees up and the skirt of her dress wide open. But, all you can see is her pantaloons. They are adorable.

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L.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I think there is appropriate attire when playing at the playground. I've actually seen other little girls get stuck or have an accident while wearing their dresses. My husband gets bothered by the idea of little girls wearing dresses to the playground AND not wearing any shorts underneath. He says..there are some really crazy/disgusting people out there. You don't want them to see ANYTHING. It's wonderful that your daughter loves to wear dresses..I J. think wearing one at the park shouldn't be a place for it.

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L.C.

answers from Dover on

My daughters are what I like to call "rowdy girls". They run until they fall down and then get right back up and keep on running. They are also "girlie girls" so they like to run in dresses and skirts and, if they can swing it, sequins and feathers and possibly a tiarra.

I come from an old school home in which modesty was preached and it had more to do with being aware of my own body and treating it like a gift.....and we wrap a gift. So, I wore shorts under dresses when playing outside and so forth, not for pervs so much as to reinforce the idea that my body was mine and J. for M. and therefore stayed covered. It reinforced and principal my parents felt it was important to teach M..

I think, for M., it is more about keeping them warm and protected. I like the idea of leggings as a bearier against weather as well as protection from bumps and scrapes for my very rowdy girlie girls.

We do teach modesty in our home at a young age because I feel you begin as you mean to go on. It's hard to change up the rules in the middle so we do now what I want them to do when they are 14 and 16 years old. I, also, want my kids to view their bodies as their own and a gift, so we "wrap the gift."

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C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I have my daughters wear shorts under their dresses when they have PE at school, or when we go to the playground (or riding bikes, etc). I J. tell them, "Nobody wants to see your panties!" and we leave it at that. My youngest is very girly and loves to wear twirly dresses. I see no problem with her wearing dresses whenever she wants to, but by the same token I don't want her showing her underwear to the world either. Some things should remain private. ;)

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K.U.

answers from Detroit on

My daughter is 4 and is real rough-and-tumble, run and climb kinda girl. She LOVES playing at the playground and it's routine for the kids to go out on the school playground where she goes for preschool. She has dresses and skirts but they are simple cotton play dresses, nothing frilly or fancy that could easily get torn or will be hard to get clean. She always has leggings on underneath - with her summer sun dresses, there are always shorts on underneath. Also, at preschool, they spend a lot of time sitting on the floor "criss cross applesauce" so the pants keep things covered then too. I want her to be modest and to understand not everyone needs to see her underpants. And it's getting chilly here too, so the leggings help keep her legs warm when she still wants to wear a dress or a skirt.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

I would never have taken my daughter to a playground in a frilly dress. She was cute as a bug, but active. Her dresses would have been ruined. There are too many things to get caught or hung up on, snagged or ripped or stained. That's not to mention the flashing of underpants.
When I was a little girl, we weren't allowed to wear pants to school at all. So, even if it was 100 degrees outside, we had tights on under our dresses to cover our panties. Showing our panties was simply unheard of.
Now, my daughter did wear dresses to school, but she had shorts that she wore underneath because she loved swinging on the rings. All the girls wore shorts under their dresses. She started kindergarten at 4 and she wasn't an undie flasher. She wore dresses to school, but J. to go to the park, she would have refused a dress. It would have slowed her down too much.

I've mentioned this joke on here before, but I can't help bring it back up....

Little Suzy had been playing outside and came back home with an ice cream cone. Her mother asked her where she got it. Suzy explained that the little boys down the street bought it for her and all she had to do was climb a tree.
Her mother said, "Suzy! We've talked about this! Those little boys J. wanted to see your underwear!"
Suzy said, "I know that, Mama, but I tricked them. This time I wasn't wearing any".

If your daughter loves playing in dresses, fine. J. keep the undies covered up.

Best wishes.

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

My daughter wears biker shorts under her dresses if she is not wearing tights. In first grade the kids start snickering if they see another child's underwear.

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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

I pick my daughters clothing for the day and for the activity of hte day... she had gym twice a week.. she wears pants those days.. she can wear a dress the other 3 school days.. if we are going to our local park I would put her in pants or shorts.. I have never ever worn pants or shorts under dresses.

sure panties can move and you can peek at something.. and so can litle boy undies.. I do not think about this.. let her be a kid.. no shorts required.

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