Dose It Matter What I Think?

Wow! I can't believe your husband won't do anything. He is sending you threatening texts, you have the proof....and all your husband says is "That's family" Sounds like not only does this cousin need to grow up, but your husband needs to do some growing of his own.

This is definitely your husbands place to say and do something.

If you care about you daughter and not leaving your kids orphaned, CALL THE COPS and show them the texts!

Yes, it does matter what you think. Right now, you are the only one in your family whose red flags are working properly. Sorry that your husband is no help but sometimes we are blind to the dysfunction in our own family.

It must be hard to trust your instincts when you are alone like this. But this is a dangerous man and a dangerous situation. If your husband is unable to help you, please find someone who will. Call a domestic violence hotline, talk to someone at a shelter. Find out what your options are. You have children who depend on you, not just your own but the daycare kids need protection. Sometimes restraining orders are not enough, they are just legal documents. So, yes, let the police know, get a restraining order but also be prepared to get out and find a safe place for yourself and the children. Don't be alone, find the people out there who can help you.

Does that make your daughter and your DH's cuz related???? Eww...for safety I would take action.

If he is threatening you, I would call the cops (call the non-emergency line) and have him escorted out of your home for harassing you. I agree, your daughter needs to see the texts and she can draw her own conclusions. (pretty much everything Dawn B. said!)

Sounds like a selfish, threatening bum to me. Your mother in law, daughter, and husband are all enabling him.

Dr. Phil has some good advice on getting rid of family mooches, he has tons of shows on this and advice if you scroll down:
http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/285
http://www.drphil.com/shows/show/405

Ouch, this sounds like such an ugly situation. You have my sympathy. Until the cuz has actually broken a law, I don't think the police can get involved. If he's made clear threats against you or your children, then perhaps you can get a restraining order.

As far as him calling you names, just shrug, post a response, "Yes, I'm a b**ch, and will not have you taking advantage of me." It really doesn't matter what you or anybody else 'thinks" so much as you understanding what your legitimate needs are, and working toward getting those met. Having your own space in which to live and work is an entirely legitimate need. If I were a young mother, I wouldn't want to leave my children in a home where there's an unwanted 35-year-old man hanging out all day.

Stand firm, with both husband and his cuz, and try not to act too alarmed at the hints of malice, unless the cuz has a history of harming people. He could just hope to scare you into supporting him longer.

Good luck. I hope you'll post an update as the situation changes.

Show your daughter and YES show the cops!!! Re-address your husband and ask him if he has a brain, becasue if someone even my hubs family threatened me , my husband would already be pounding on that family member!!! This man is a threat to you and your family, not to mention the children in your care. Tell your hubs to get a backbone and get his bro out!!!!

It sounds like he may be having a major mental health issue. Check with social services and see what it will take to commit him involuntarily. The police may be able to get him commited right away since he is a danger to either himself or someone else. Make sure the police and/or social services see the text mesages. No matter what do let him back into your home. You may have to change your phone number both home and cell.

Does cuz, mean cousin?

Your husband is a jerk and has no intention of doing anything. Apparently, his cousin is more important then his wife and family. Not sure you have any reason to call the cops here. I would suggest marital counseling...lots of it.

Cuz is a bum. He will be a bum his whole life. He's very likely bi-polar and thinks the world owes him a living. If he keeps threatening you do call the cops. Many a woman has been beaten horribly by her husband's abusive relatives. His cousin have very likely been thrown out of his siblings homes and his mother's home and has no friends where he came from since he used them too.
He's been forced out of your home where he paid for nothing. Did he keep the kitchen clean or cook a few meals for the whole family. Did he pay the electric bill while he was there. Of course not. He's an ego-centric obnoxious, parasite who has no compassion or care for others.
It is time to sit down with your husband and tell him in a soft voice without rankor how you feel about being used by his cousin. Tell your husband you want him to tell his cousin not to call or text you anymore. If he won't he's not taking the role of a husband to protect his wife and children.
Tell your daughter what the cousin said. She may be in danger due to him as well.
Look him up on Zaba to see if he has a criminal record. If he does do call the police as they may be looking for him back where he came from. It is well worth the $ 29-40 bucks they ask for doing the research.

Wow. So sorry you're having to deal with this.

Your husband definitely needs to step in and stop him from threatening you, but if he can't or won't, you cannot let this jerk have any power over you. He's trying to bully you, plain and simple, and you don't have to take it.

Call the cops if he does anything violent or won't get off your property, but otherwise, just ignore his texts, block him from your cell phone and warn your daughter that he's using her to get back at you. Hopefully he's just mad that he can't keep freeloading, and he'll leave you alone once he realizes his childish tactics aren't working.

It does matter what you think because it is your house. Realize he is upset, but leave it at that and monitor his actions. I think the way you told him he had to move out may have some impact on how he reacts based on his current situation and how he feels as a man. I would still try to help him and be nice to him, but stick to your rules about him having to move out especially if you think him moving out was really warranted! (I would say having a daycare at the home sounds warranted)

Wow your husband needs to take action and fast. Why isnt he protecting his wife and children? That is family- and that needs to come first. I am so sorry this is happening to you. I would do what you can in a respectful way to keep yourself and your kids safe. You also have to protect the kids you watch in your home. Seriously what is your husband thinking? I am so sorry that you arent getting support and help that you should be. That sounds like such a hard situation~
M.

It absolutely does not matter if he's family or not! He is way in the wrong here! Your husband should be sticking up for you...period! Your husband is being wimpy!!

Your husband had better get his head out of his a**. His cousin - COUSIN - threatens you and goes after your adult daughter to use as a way to hurt you - and your husband just does nothing?

File a restraining order against him and see if you can have it include your daughter. First, I would talk to her and show her those texts or emails he sent to you referring her.

It does matter what you think. Show your husband the threatening text messages. Tell him that his cousin is threatening the peace of your household, and that he has a responsibility to stand up for you, his wife and his daughter. This cannot go on.

If your husband objects to kicking out family, tell him that allowing a family member to free-load is not helping that family member get back on his feet. It's only fostering bad habits. This man will never get a job until he needs one. As long as you feed him, he doesn't need one. Every member of a community needs to be an active contributor in some way. If you're Bible-reading people, cite the Apostle Paul. "If a man will not work, he shall not eat."