Dont' Know What to Do

It sounds like there's something fishy w/the mom you are referring to. How old are the children? Are they old enough to walk up to the daycare themselves?? Is this a child protection issue? I would somehow ask her if she's having trouble paying and refer her to Child Care Assistance at the county if she is unable to pay. I know it's hard but I think it's important to set clear boundaries with this lady or you'll be running a "free daycare" until you do.

I do daycare also. There are 2 options...if you have told her that you will not take her kids anymore until she pays then call the police when she drops them off and tell them that you are not thier baby sitter anymore and the mother just keeps dropping them off. They will make her get her kids. You could also take them to her work and drop them off there and leave. If she is not paying you and you have already addressed the situation with her then you have the right to refuse service to her.

A.:

-Oh so she had the money all along? That is really awful that she was blowing you off. At least you finally got paid though and you will know what to do if it happens again!

This is your job, your paycheck. How would this mom feel if she went to work everyday and they were not paying her? When my daycare provider does not get paid she takes the mom to court and collects that way. You have a right to approach this mom and insist on being paid, if she gives you any excuses then she needs to find a new daycare and pay you for the months that you had her children. You do have legal options to get paid, just like any other job. You are a single parent so I am assuming that you cant just let not getting paid go. You need to collect what is rightfully yours, go for it. You cant let people walk all over you!
Good Luck
K.

You need to call the law,that's money out of your pocket it cost me 300.00 a week to have someone take care of my son why I work and if I was un able to pay then my child wouldn't have daycare there are mom's out there that will take a advantages of people just like you
about 20 years ago
this woman done this to a daycare in California her responds was if I pay you I won't have any money to go out on, this daycare person took this mom to court
and is cost her over 5 thousand dollars for back pay to this babysitter
so unless you crack down now it's your fault for letting her do it to you.

taking care of kids isn't free so crack down now and see if she's really working or is she just a lazy bum
like her ol' man if she has one.

i agree with kim. i'm sure if any of us were in this moms situation we would be willing to work with the provider if they came at the situation with kindness but firmly. my view is how would i want to be treated if i were in a tight situation.
no, life isn't always fair. but why not be the one she remembers in her life as someone who took two seconds to find out her situation and find out if you can help. i think we are all here to help each other. i agree, not take advantage of. but there are always compromises, no matter what business you run.
good luck..

Do you have a contract with her stating she will pay? You do not have to accept her children. Tell her you are very sorry, but the next time she drops your children off at your house, you will call the police. She obviously knows she is in the wrong, since she is dropping them off in the driveway.
You are going to have to be tough with her. Unfortunately, it's the only way people like that even have a chance of learning. I feel for what you are going through...I hope it gets better.

well, what you should do, depending on how long it's been that this woman is dropping her children, and leaving. If it's been more then a few days, and part of the problem is, you just can't catch her before she leaves... then you need to contact the police. Maybe they can watch for her the next time she is dropping off her little ones, and stop her, so you can talk to her... she is stealing, just as if she was getting gas and not paying for it. Your not a drop off center, she needs to bring the children to the door, if she does not, contact the authorities!! (It's not fair to you, and most important it's not right)
No one should be taken advantage of, and I'm sure you being a single mom of two, are being hurt badly by this woman... please do something about it.
Good luck,
S.

Hi I am K. , I did Daycare for seven years, now work outside the home, due to my husband becoming disabled and no health insurance. For one I would start with calling the Department of human services, and report her on how she is dropping off the kid's, Do you have a written contract with her? If so you can file a claim against her in small claims court, and a judgement, then you can ask for a order to garnish her wages with her employer, keep good documentation of the hours that you have the kid's, Is this mom maybe eligible for state assistance for child care? I allways referd my parents to that program, if she is eligible, you would get your pay monthly, I could probably answer alot of your questions, feel free to ask

I also run an in-home daycare. I have had parents that have not wanted to pay. You have to be firm with them. If she doesn't come into your house then mail her a letter. I would let her know that she has to pay you on the day required per your contract or she can't bring her kids anymore. I have given parents notices that include a late fee of $10 per day on top of the weekly fee and that the child can't come back until ALL fees and late charges are paid. I would also let her know that you have other people interested in your daycare and that they are willing to pay on time. I would also put a stop to her dropping her kids off in the drive-way. My parents are required to bring children in the house and come to the house to pick-up. Good Luck!!

Okay, so I'm a little late. First of all, do NOT call her at work as that is harassment and she could sue you. You can wait until she gets off of work and speak with her then. Give her a week to pay at least half (if she's having financial problems). If she says she cannot come up with the money, tell her she needs to find another provider. If she attempts to leave the children in the driveway, call CPS or HHS. Worst case scenario, you could consult with an attorney. If an attorney calls her or sends a letter to her residence, that should wake her up. There are groups that attorneys and law students belong to that do "pro bono" (for free) work of this nature. You can call any school of law like Creighton or Univ. of Ne.

This is more than just her not paying. It is a case of robbery, freeloading, and child abondonment. You may need to contact the authorities. You may also meed to take her to small claims court. It is even possible that you may need to contact family services. Don't feel you, it is you that is being taken advantage of. This is you livelyhood and she is taking it away from you. By her kids being there, this isn't allowing you to be open for paying customers. She may be stuggling, but in no way is she in the right to cause her problem to be you problem and make it hard for you to earn your livelyhood.

A.,

I believe you need to send a letter to this mother. Explain that you expect each parent to bring his or her children to the door. This is for the childrens' safety and to address any issues you need to discuss. You should also explain your billing process in letter; i.e. you expect payment every Monday; penalty fee of $20 if payment not received by Wednesday. If she does not begin to pay consistently, send her another letter that says if she is late three additional times in a two month period (or whatever you pick), you will have no choice but to terminate the caregiving relationship. It sounds like she is taking advantage of you. You need to explain that you have rules and intend to follow them. You rely on the income to provide for her children and for your own family. Institutional day cares have rules like this and parents generally comply with them, even though they may grumble. Good luck!

What I would do is call her the night before she drops the kids off. I would leave a message on her phone if she doesn't answer. I would also have her kids bring a note out to her when she picks them up with certain expectation. I would make a payment arrangement with her giving her a reasonable time to keep up and pay what she owes with the payments. She seems not to have the money otherwise she would have paid you.. After setting these expectations I would make it clear that if she fails to hold herself to the agreement that this arrangement wont work for either one of you.. That way if she doesnt plan on paying you she has enough time to find another daycare and you dont have to work for free anymore.. I would stress that I dont have a personal issue with her and that i enjoy her company as well as her kids. This is your business though and you have bills to pay. If you cant count on her you will have to find someone else who you can count on. I would say I am only allowed so many children in my care and if she isnt paying you. you cant just start babysitting other kids to make up for what she should be paying.. I hope this helps what a sticky situation.. Good Luck

I think you have gotten a lot of good responses.
I agree that MAYBE she is having trouble making ends meet, BUT if that is the case then she should talk to you about it, not just dump her kids in the driveway and take off. She KNOWS she is wrong or else she would come to the door.
speaking as someone who was once a single mom having a hard time making ends meet.....when my son was in a daycare (it was also an in home) when I was having trouble, I would talk to my daycare provider. I knew she was counting on my check every week, so if/when some week was particularly hard for me, I would talk to her about it and she would either let me pay her the next week or break it up and just make a bigger payment for a couple weeks. But I ALWAYS spoke with her about it. I never would have just dropped my son off without paying her or talking to her.
I don't know how long it has been going on for you, but you need to confront her and find out why she is not paying you. As someone else said, put it in writing. Make her an invoice showing what is past due, what she owes for the current week and what her weekly amount is. I would also attach a letter stating that she is this $$ amount past due dating back to such and such dates and that if not paid in full or payment arrangements made IN WRITING then you will no longer be available to care for her children. I would also say that future child care will need to be paid for in advance. (Make sure you keep a copy) Then, if you can't catch her in the driveway, send it to her, certified mail That way she will have to sign for it and you will get a confirmation sheet back that shows she signed for it and you will have proof that she received it. .(just ask at the post office what you need to do so that she has to sign for it and so that you can receive a confirmation sheet) You will need things like that if you have to take her to court. And when you do get to see her face to face, if she is going to continue to bring her kids and pay you, have her sign a contract showing what she is to pay and that is has to be paid a week in advance or the kids aren't allowed to stay and that SHE herself has to bring them to the door. And if she pulls the dropping them off in the driveway bit again call the police. Again, that way it is documented and you will have proof if you ever do need to go to court. It is sad that you have to be that way with people, but in some cases (some people) have to be handled that way.

It may just be that you need to put your foot down and just let her know that she cannot take advantage of you. Did she do this to her previous daycare provider? Maybe this is normal for her? If possible, find out where her kids went before coming to you. I'm guessing here, but if she is leaving them in the driveway, she has probably done this to someone else. Again, just my guess. (my husband's ex wife did something similar to a daycare lady who was watching their kids - she didn't pay and then she quit taking the kids there after the lady told her she owed for past amounts and the daycare lady called us - not to say that we owed her, but to let us know that she was going to take her to court for what she owed (as well as some other bits of info, he told her go ahead and that she had done the same thing before). I think after the daycare lady sent the letter saying that she would take it to court, the ex paid what she owed. But she was like the lady you are dealing with and I KNOW she did that to other daycare ladies too.
I'm sorry you are having to deal with someone like that and I hope that things work out and you get the money you have earned.

Okay, sorry such a long response things just kept popping in my mind as I was typing.

Prayers and hugs!
K.

I would wait outside at the time she usually drops off the kids and mention that she hasn't paid and while you enjoy her kids and have no problem with them being there,It does cost you food for the day and whatever other supplies you use up during their time with you. If she drives away before you can talk to her. Leave a note saying the same as above and put it with her kids things. That way they can take the note home to mom to read. If you still don't get a response, then Don't take the kids. I know they can't stay alone but If she's isn't paying you to be responsible for her kids, you're under no obligation to do so. KWIM?

You can't let her guilt you into taking care of her kids for no money. You let the guilt in. You let her guilt you into caring for her kids. She's playing on that. Milking it for all it's worth. Don't let her take advantage anymore. I'm speaking from personal experience. I had a day care and half the mom's never paid. Yet I had to pay for school for me and my one staff, to get us certified and certified for the meals programs our state pays for. It's a lot of work. I had to close down.

A.-

I would let the mom know that if she is not paid in full that she can't bring her children to you anymore. If you think that she will leave them alone in the house while at work then you should turn her into HHS.
Also is there a chance that she can get assistance from HHS? Maybe she should check into that. But it is not right for you to continue to watch her children for free!! You are running a business and people can't get things for free!!

You say this is a DAYCARE BUSINESS-treat it like a business. You are there to make money as well as provide a safe and loving place for children. I would either send a note home with the child that you need to see her immediately or be waiting at the driveway when they are delivered. If nothing else leave a message on her phone that you expect payment. I know this is a hard thing to do but you need to look out for yourself. This is YOUR PAYCHECK!!!!

A.

I agree with Ashley B. Tell her in no uncertain terms that she needs to pay what she owes. I would first tell her that she cannot bring her children to you until she has paid what she already owes and at the same time tell her if she continues to drop them off in your driveway (which in my eyes is wrong and very irresposible) that you will call CPS and turn her in. She cannot expect you to care for her children if she is not paying you and if she never even talks to you by just dumping them in your driveway then you need to look out for the children's best interest. How old are these children she just dumps off in your driveway? Who picks them up? Do you just send them out the door to meet their mom in your driveway? If she has you just send them out then tell her you will not do that, she needs to come in and pick them up. If they were in a center or any other daycare (like mine) I would never stand for a parent just dumping them in my driveway I would tell the parent the next time it happens I am calling either CPS or HHS and telling them that these kids were just left in my driveway that I USE to have them in my daycare but the mother no longer pays me to watch them. It's harsh but what she is doing is wrong for both you and her children. Good luck and keep us posted on the situation.

~B.

Hi A.:

I cannot believe she would take advantage of you like that. You must give her a call outside of your working hours and talk with her. Maybe tell her that she has to start paying a week in advance from now on.
You might have to just tell her you can't watch them anymore if she doesn't pay you. That's the other alternative.
I am so proud of you for being a single mom and two kids. Wow, you are an amazing woman!!!
God bless you and keep you!

T.
http://tinamccomb.stayinhomeandlovinit.com

....................Glad to know it was resolved......... If you have problems again, check with Childcare Resources... they have resources and information available to childcare providers.

Do you know where she works? Or in case of emergency contact? Maybe there's a change in her life where she can't pay (not that that's right), but she's too embarrassed to discuss it?? Can you leave a message on her answering machine? Maybe if you bring it up in the spirit of resolution or compassion it would bring her in to talk about it and find ways to get payment.

Anyways, I'd contact Childcare Resources. I know they offer scholarships to families in need. Maybe you could send some information home with the kids. At least they would have some professional suggestions about what to do.

HUn you need to put your foot down!!!! I have run a in-home daycare for over 15 years & have learned the hard way that you need to be their friend but also realize that this is your income! She gets paid for ging to work so should you! When you see her the next time tell her she either pays you by a certain date OR the kids cannot come back. You also may want to talk to her about dropping the kids off at the door! In many states that is NOT legal!!! Not only can it get her in trouble but you could get a ALOT of trouble if something would happen to them outside! I guess my main advise is to set the ground rules so this mother knows you are a professional who cares about the well being of her children!!

I would first call her at work (she has to answer the call) and explain the situation to her. In many cases, daycares enforce a late payment penalty of $10 for each day the payment is late. Also, change or create your policy for your daycare to include the parents bringing the children inside and seeing them off, not just dropping them at the curb. There is no reason good enough for her to do that, period. Let her know that she must pay what is owed for your services and if she so chooses not to pay it, you will send the owed amount to collections. And then send her written documentation showing she has been terminated from your daycare effective immediately due to refusal to pay her children's tuition. You run a business not a charity. She must pay you.

I understand how you feel about the children, however, it is not your responsibility to see to their well-being when they are not with you as hard as that is. If she is not providing proper care for her kids at home, then you may feel inclined to see that someone checks in on them from child services if they are too young to be home alone.

Confrontation is difficult especially when the ones in the middle are the kids. You can't allow your parents to walk all over you like that. You provide a service that is to be paid for much like shopping for food. You can't go to the store and get your groceries and say, "Oh, I'll pay you next month when it's more convenient for me."

I hope this helps you. I know it sounds severe, but you have to set your emotions aside and deal with the situation like a businesswoman. It would not be tolerated from any other business. If it helps, look at it this way. She is jeopordizing your family's well-being by not paying you for your daycare services. Your business pays your bills and takes care of your family's needs. Is it fair for your children? No.

Good luck and my prayers are with you!

Seems to me that she can drop the kids off without speaking with you (i.e. in the driveway), but she has to face you when she picks them up in the evening. So, before you go running to CPS or anyone else, just talk to this lady in the evening. Clearly, she was once a good paying customer and you clearly care about her kids, so try to reason with her when she pics them up. Tell her that you will wait in the driveway for the kids the next morning and if she doesn't have your check, she will have to make alternate arrangements until she can pay your past due bill in full and provide you with payment one week in advance therafter. good luck.

A. - I ran a daycare too and I had this same issue. I confronted the mom and the next thing you know we had false allegations and an investigation against us. Thank the good Lord it was all cleared up and unfounded but in the mean time we had no income and it was aweful to go through. My suggestion is that you will just have to go out to the driveway and wait for her about the time she comes and tell her that she can't leave them with you any more due ot non payment and if in the future she wants to use you for care, she has to bring her account current and pay a week in advance. Then, be prepared for the fall out! If you don't want to go outside and wait for her you might just call her at work and tell her or at home depending on the numbers you have. Hope that helps and good luck to you. K.

Sorry to hear your problem. My advise is when she picks up her kids in the evening tell her she needs to bring a cash payment for what she owes you(give her a written invoice for her costs) and tell her she needs to have the payment in your hands when she comes to your door to brings her kids to the daycare. Also, tell her if she leaves her children in the driveway and leaves again then you have no choice but call CHILD Protective Services on her for neglect. I am not a fan of CPS but this should get her attention. Two things will happen first she pays you for the services she owes or she will never be back( you'll be out the money but rid of the mom. If she pays you what she owes then tell her she must bring cash payments on Monday to prepay for the week of childcare. I know this seems harsh but this is your business and she is using you and playing on you be nice. If these children leave then you can get more kids that are paying. Don't feel bad you have been more then nice. Also, think if she will just drop her kids in the driveway and not make sure there in the house safe--What happens at home how are they neglected?????? Just be firm and stand your ground. You did her a service but SHE NEEDS TO PAY FOR IT!!!!!!!!
Good Luck

I agree that this is very wrong for her to do to you but I would handle it a little differently.

First of all, you need to think about why this is going on. I assume she is not paying you because she is struggling to make ends meet (just like you are) and that she is just dropping the kids off because she is embarrassed to face you and scared you will refuse to watch her kids. By simply refusing to watch the kids or by demanding she write a check immediately you are not going to get much out of it...especially the money she owes you.

Tomorrow morning I would wait for her in the driveway. When she drops the kids off tell her you need to visit with her before she leaves. Explain to her that you are willing to make some sort of arrangements with her but that she has to hold up her end of the bargain. Maybe you can both agree that she pay you your weekly fee plus and extra $25 or $50 to help catch up on what she is behind. Then explain to her that she may qualify for assistance through the state and offer to help her apply. You should also make it very clear that if she is more than 2 days late on any future payment that you will be unavailable to watch her kids. It would be a good idea to have her sign a statement that says how much she owes you and what the payment arrangements are. This will be important if she stops paying and you have to take her to court.

If this plan works you have accomplished a few things. First, you have gotten some money from her plus you continue to keep your income. Second, you have prevented her from losing her job or from leaving the kids home alone. You have also shown her that you are willing to work with her but that you are not going to allow her to take advantage of you.

I hope it all works out for you and for those kids.

I'm not sure how long this has been going on, but one week would be too long for me to put up with this. Meet her in the driveway in the morning. You've got to talk to her and tell her that if she doesn't pay you for this week right now, then you will not watch her kids...if you want to be nice, I guess you can give her a day to make other arrangements. You may also give it to her in writing. Also, if you can't catch her in the morning, then what about when she picks them up? Make her come to the door to get them, then talk with her. While you're at it, you may want to require that she walk them to the door going forward.

I'd also revise your payment policy in writing...add a late fee schedule ...$10 for one day late, $20 for two days, $30 for three days, and service cancelled if more not paid by the third day.

Obviously, she is taking advantage of you and is an irresponsible mother. I would call DHS next time abandons her children in your driveway, assuming you have already talked to her about it.

If you have her mailing address, then send her a bill. If you have her physical address, deliver it yourself in case she tries to say that she never got it.

If you are really concerned about what she would do if you turned the kids away, then in your bill, include possible solutions- payment plans, or even suggest that she get help with Health & Welfare's ICCP program that helps pay a percentage of babysitting.

I also run a home daycare. Is she just plain not paying you at all or is she just taking longer than you would like to pay you?
If she's not paying you at all, I'd meet her at the drive way one day and say I cannot care for your children any more. This is my job and if I'm not getting paid for it then I can't provide you with my service. I know it's hard but what you're doing is hard work and you deserve to get paid for it!!!
If she's just not paying you on time you could start charging her a fee for everyday that she doesn't pay you. My parents are to pay me on Friday morning at the latest at pick up time on Friday. If they don't pay me by then I charge $10 a day till they pay me, so for Saturday it's $10 and Sunday it's $10. My contract says that by MOnday morning if they don't have their payment AND their fees that can't leave their child with me until it's paid. If you think that she wouldn't care about paying the $10 raise it as high as you need to.
There is absolutly no reason why you should not be getting paid for your job, she is just taking advantage of you and it's not right. Trust me I know that it sucks to have to ask for your money but you have to think about your own family and your family needs that money too.
Also if you do let her stay I would require her to start bringing the children into your house when she drops then off and picks them up, it's much safer this way.

Can you talk to her and possibly arrange a state aid that will pay you ?

I would say when she comes to pick the kids up, or whoever picks them up, the kids should stay in your house and you should meet her in the drive way and inform her that she is not to bring her children anymore until she pays. Inform her that when she does not pay that it is considered a theft of services and that she can (and will) be arrested for it if it happens again. That shoudl do the trick and you are well within your legal rights to do so.

I used to work at a daycare and we had some people that wouldn't pay also. My boss ended up taking them to court!

A.,
I'm sure you love these children, but if you are to keep your daycare in proper standing, you have to collect the debt she owes, and no longer watch the children. The mother has no respect for your families needs, just a selfish person who has found someone caring for her kids, but also vulnerable enough to put up with it.
There were many suggestions here that could help you with the billing process. They sounded great. Another Daycare that I was around made the parents actually SIGN thier children in and out, so as to protect the care provider.
The next step you need to take after you've done all the paperwork to bill her, and she knows and you know the billing situation is clear, is to pull the same number on her, that she is pulling on you. I would allow the mother ample time to show up at work, get settled in, maybe an hour or so. Then, I would make other arrangements for the other children in the care, load her children up in the car and take a trip to her workplace. Unlike her, I wouldn't leave them in the parking, or driveway, but I would get them to her. Right to her, or better yet to her secretary or co-worker to deliver them to her for you. I think she'd get the picture, esp if you did it more than once. If she called, I'd record the message and then pursue the following problems with DFS, child services and so on. Better yet, I'd let child services know what is going on, and exactly what day you plan to return her children to her at work.
Blessings to you and your business!