Don't Have Time for Anything Other than Family. Is That Ok?

I don't see anything wrong with that.
That could be because I'm kinda there too.
I live in a new state, so I have NO friends here. I've tried finding some, most of the mom's I meet annoy me. haha It sucks but it's true.
So I don't do the play date, lunch out things. But at the same time, on the weekend..I don't want to anyway lol
I have a almost 3 y/o & a 7 month old. I'm a SAHM, my hubby works all week and gets home around 7:30pm. So when the weekend comes, I just want to be with him. I just want to spend time with my hubby & my kids and no one else.

Sometimes I feel lame, cause of the whole no friends thing, but I love my family and I have a blast hanging out with just us.

I think it's GREAT to focus on your family right now. You might think you are sitting around "doing nothing" with your kids...but in their eyes, it's never just 'nothing'. Just by being there with them, you are teaching them and helping them feel safe and loved, which will do more for them in the long run than any amount of playdates or fancy outtings. Family meals, family walks, anything you do together is time well-spent. Children need MORE family time, LESS friend time, in my opinion. As parents, it is our job to be their #1 teacher and influence, and that can only happen by actually being with them. So I commend and respect you for wanting to be with them as much as you can. Your children are lucky to have you as their mom!!

Oh that has been my story too! For many years I felt apologetic - but I'd rather be with my family, in un-stressed situations, then just about anywhere else. The weeks are busy - husband working late hours, I work PT - and as you say, the house is a disaster by the weekend, etc. So yes I'm like you - I enjoy making pancakes for breakfast, cleaning all together as a family (my teens do NOT like that part - but it goes much quicker) and eventually getting up and out. As your kids get older they will want to have playdates - but for now enjoy their cuddly PJ'ed bodies and hang out on the couch watching cartoons. Before long you'll be at sports practices, jobs, etc. Enjoy this season in your family's life. ;o)

Your schedule is extremely full and I would be the same way if I were you! I don't work nearly as many hours as you (and my husband is home earlier) and I STILL don't want to clog up the weekend with activities. As long as you and hubby get out now and then together (which it seems you do) you are fine I think....plus when your kiddos are older it will be much easier :)

My husband and I are the exact same way. Most of our friends and family understand and the ones that don't... Oh well.

I think that spending a saturday with your little ones in ur jammies is great! Your girls are at an age when the WANT to be with you. Want to spend the entire day reading books and being silly with you. Life is about the wonderful little things that add up to equal our entire being. Play dates are good. Entertaining is good. I think we all feel like we are torn in a million different directions, and at the end of the day just want to grow a few extra pairs of hands to get everything done! If you want to add in extra activities, maybe just plan something once a month. Pick a certain saturday, and shoot for that. However, I think having things revlove around your family is a wonderful foundation. Because at the end of the day, our family is what it is all about anyway!!

I'm the same way! I see NO problem with it. My husband and I both work full time. I fit others in when I can. But, I think the 4 of us being together is thw most important thing right now. If you think about it, someday your kids will be grown up and on their own and it will just be you and your husband. That will be your time to do other things. I know some people who have to go out all the time and constantly make play dates and see this person and that person - just thinking about it makes my head spin! I like to relax and spend time with my family. We do make time for others - just don't constantly need to do it.

Yes, this was our life when our kids were younger. I was able to stay home, and had playdates during the day. But, even on the weekends, we had no time for anything but "hanging out'. My husband worked long hours and traveled, so weekends were our time to be together and chill.

Once the kids got older, our weekends were booked with sports activities. Baseball/softball, football, etc. Even though there were(are) times when we just want to chill out, it's become our social life, too. We are friends with the other parents, as well as our other kids(friends with the siblings of the players) We no longer schedule "playdates", it's more of a spontaneous - friends coming over after the games,etc. It definitely gets easier, the older they get.
*Let me clarify- it gets easier for them to help out and tidy up, clean etc. It won't always fall on you. It gets easier to have friends over, because they don't need much from you- they can get their own snacks, drinks- and don't need to be "entertained". "Easier' does not, however, define your day-to day. It's still a lot of running around to practices, lessons, etc- but it's seems more ...fun...I guess is the word. Hopefully, it's more of a social time for you and your husband, too. That's looking at that margarita cup as half FULL!! LOL!

Don't feel bad about taking time for your family, right now. Family is more important than playdates. Things will get better in this area.

Good luck!

this is a phase. life will chill out over time and you will be able to do more social things. don't add more stress by trying to schedule even more right now. lounging in pjs, reading books and hanging out is a great way for your busy family to unwind. roll with it. new phase will come along before you know it, and you will WANT to add different adventures.
no need to push it.
khairete
S.

I say "ditto" for the chaos and haste of everyday. However, if Sunday is family day wouldn't be easier to have a two hour playdate and have your husband present to help manage either of your girls? For us, we started arranging playdates once a month now is more like once every three months. My daughter has actually enjoyed the anticipation of her playdates, as though she appreciates them even more. There is a benefit for playdates, helps build socialization skills, problem solving, sharing, etc..Good luck

If I were in your shoes, I would hire a housekeeper if I could afford it. That way, you don't feel like you have to clean on the weekends and use the only time you have free!

There is nothing wrong with Sundays being "family day" so that you keep it only for you, hubbie and your kids. As your kids are getting older though, Saturdays will be days that they want to go and do and go to friend's houses for sleepovers and birthday parties, etc. Since I feel completely the same way (my kids are still little), I feel like for me to be ok, I need a bit more structure, like meal-planning and purposeful/planned playtime together, and planned face-time/date time with hubbie to keep ME sane! So, I am the one that needs to get organized to do my best and not feel so overwhelmed (get over the missing sock, and just pick another pair!). PS: Don't let the guilt get to you: you cannot be everything to everyone at once! :)

One thought I had--pick a night for the kids to have "daddy time." That night, when Daddy gets home & you all eat dinner (or Daddy eats if the rest of you ate earlier). Then, after that, Daddy is to play with the girls until bedtime. That can be their special time to visit/play with/bond with Daddy (maybe with some assistance, occasionally, from you). This hour or two would be time you can clean/recoup/do laundry/etc. and/or catch your breath for the rest of week.

Compromise with the kids--have 1 playdate per month, or invite one other couple & their kids to dinner 1 night per month. Throw something in the crockpot for the group and ask the other family to bring a dish to share, too. I'll bet that some of the other families you know do totally understand and no one will expect you to have a wonderfully clean, spotless house.

Also, your 5yo might be old enough to go on playdates alone, or maybe even sleep overs at another prek/kindergartner's house, if you know the parents well and they are interested.