Don't Appreciate Condescending Nurses!

As far as your son is concerned, I would say that if there are no other symptoms present, then don't worry too much about it. There really are some kids who just cough hard enough and have a sensitive (sp?) gag reflex that it is easy for them to vomit.

As far as the nurses go, I would write down the day and time, and try to figure out who you spoke with and then address it directly with the Dr. If it is a large practice with several doctors, then the chain of command would be the office manager first. These nurses deal with hundreds of parents and kids every week and sometimes forget that some of the moms are rookies and have lots of questions and concerns. Try not to let it get to you too much, just brush it off as a bad day on her part. If it continues, and you get no help from the Dr. you might want to consider switching practices. You wouldn't want to call with something serious and have them just laugh it off...

1 mom found this helpful

I've never gotten that attitude from my doctor's office, but if I did I wouldn't appreciate it either. You're the only one (besides daddy) who will have your child's best interest at heart. I think it's better to be overly concerned than to brush symptoms off and hope it's nothing serious. There are too many scary "bugs" out there and it's better to catch them early. So I say keep calling the office, that's what they're there for!!! I say you also have the right to tell the nurses you don't appreciate their attitude and let the Dr. know how you feel as well. Good luck!

I sure did. When my children were small, we had to be on public assistance. (Many in this town were.) At one doctor's visit, the nurse pulled out someone else's records--who happened to be my sister-in-law, and of course, I mentioned it. She said, "Not very prosperous men, are they?" I was floored! I told my husband and he told me to switch doctor's; so we did!

I know I'm a little late responding, but I just wanted to share my personal experience with you on nurses attitudes. When my daughter was born and we were bringing her home, while we were getting ready to leave the hospital, the nurse that was wheeling me out said some remarks that I did not appreciate at all. This was our 1st child, so of course we didn't know everything, and on top of it, she was born 3 weeks early, so we were not completely ready for her coming home and my husband was scrambling around at home the 4 days that I was in the hospital trying to hurry up and get everything ready. To make it more difficult, the carseat instructions were on the bottom of the carseat, a place where most people would not think to look, and my husband could not find them, so he just tried to do the best he could. When we were ready to get in the car, the nurse was talking to my husband like he was an idiot because he didn't know how to work the carseat, he tried to tell her repeatedly, that the instructions were nowhere to be found, but she was to busy criticizing him to listen, I wanted to put my 2 cents in, but I was nice and kept my mouth shut. May I also add, that you did the right thing by calling the doctor, I would be worried too if my son had coughed so hard that he was vomiting. Some nurses just have attitude problems and some are nice, it all depends, but you definitely should not feel silly about calling the doctor, your just being a good mommy.

K.,
I was in your same situation this week. I love my pediatrician to death, but when I called my Dr. this week about a horrible rash all over my 5 year old, the nurse said keep an eye on it and give her benadryl. Of course I exclaimed I already had done that, and that is why I called the Dr. She still told me to keep an eye on it, and if it was worse by the afternoon to call back. I wasn't mad, but so frustrated. I mean, I am a mom of 3, and I have seen a lot of rashes. I told the nurse that too, and said this particular rash was nothing like I'd seen before. Anyway, I ended up just taking her to our dermatologists office where they diagnosed her with Fifths disease. It's nothing serious, you just let it run it's course. However, I'm glad I know because the Dr. said Fifths disease is very dangerous for expecting mothers, and I have several friends expecting. i just don't get why the nurse had to make such a big deal out of me wanting the Dr. to see my daughter. I've never had an issue with this pediatricians office, but this upset me.

The nurse you spoke to was very unprofessional. At your next appointment you should discuss this incident with your physician. If noone tells him about the nurses attitude he cannot do anything to make sure it doesn't happen again.

Hi K.
This is not really a response about the very rude nurse but my son when he was a little over a year old would cough so hard he would also vomit and I ended up taking him in to the doc and found out he had asthma. He is now 2 1/2yrs. and recently we had him at the er for his asthma and he coughed so hard he threw up on the table. Good luck!

I call my doctor's office when ever I am unsure about symptoms my children are having. I don't always take them in but the nurses always answer my questions with respect. The nurse should know if other children are having the same problems. My doctors office even has a recording, if you have to wait on hold, that tells you some of the recent colds and flus that have been going around. Unless you really like your son's doctor maybe you could find a better doctor's office. One with respectful nurses.

That's really rude of her! I'm a nursing student and when I'm at clinicals that is LAST thing I would say or do! OMG! I'd be infuriated! But most of the time, the "nurses" in an actual doctor's office aren't nurses at all. They are medical assistants. For the most part anyways. My ob/gyn has nothing but nurses but at my pediatrician's office they are all M.A.s. You shouldn't feel bad at all. I would've made the call too! That's what good mothers do! You should tell the doctor of your rude phone call!

Yes, and I complained to the physician and changed doctors.
Good luck.
P. R

In the past I have had that problem and my middle daughter ended up hospitalized. The doctor I have now is amazing. He trusts a Mom's intuition above all else and you will see him instead of some other doctor in the office that you don't know. Everything is computerized and he gives you computerized printouts at every visit. Dr. Dieter Sumerauer in Middleburg Hts ###-###-#### if you are interested. Good Luck, L. B

You know, don't take it from those nurses, you are NOT overprotective!!! That's what they said was wrong with my 3 year old, they said she'd be fine, that it's normal for kids to get sick, and she was hospitalized last month for severe dehyration, she had to have another IV a week and a half ago, and she's sick again now because people think that I'm over-reacting about her being sick and don't want to listen to me. Don't listen to them, don't let them make you feel stupid or like a burden, because I let them get to me and now my daughter looks like a skeleton and she can barely move when she should be outside playing! They still don't know what's wrong with her...as far as your son goes, get a second opinion, or get a referral to another doctor.

dear K.,
When my son was small(now 18)I would get the same attitude form the nurses. On one visit I spoke to the dr. about it and the nurse's attitude changed for the better.I would suggest that if your son continues to cough that hard that you really push to see your dr. or tell the nurse that you will find another dr.. I believe in being polite but sometimes you must pull out the big guns. Afterall you are paying her salary as well as the dr.and your son is the most important thing to you.

Oh, K., try being blind and having kids, lol. You learn to deal with a lot of stuff like that. I once asked the Dr. if we could bring our daughter in to have her nails clipped because I couldn't see well enough to do it myself. Talk about an interesting response. But, at least they were fairly nice about it.

It sounds like Luke just coughed hard enough to make himself gag. I wouldn't be concerned about it. I'm sure he'll be fine.

I would just try not to worry so much. It's when they have a fever that won't go away or swallow something that you should be concerned, lol. You're doing great, I'm sure. :)

God bless,
A.

K.,

I know it is frustrating. I used to get so mad at the perky little "call" nurse at our Ped's office, until another mom made me realize, that 3/4 of those nurses aren't even moms yet. They have NO clue what it feels to worry about a child, let alone with a medical condition. As for your little boy, it is a bad gag reflex accompanied by the drainage you thought. My son is 6 and still vomits at least once with a bad cold. The bast thing I can recommend is a "puke bowl" on hand and a mild expectorant, it will break up the mucus. Apple juice is also a help. Good luck to you both!

Hi K., I know where you are coming from, many years ago when my sons were small, I encountered this attitude from one particular Doctor at our practice. I in the end told him straight, that although I appeared an over protectice mother, surely that was better than being a neglectful one. After that I chose to see a different Doctor and had no problem.
Some medical people have no understanding or little understanding of a mothers concerns. Take care P. UK

K., I'm very sorry that you were treated this way. I changed my doctor about ten years ago due to the way that her receptionist/nurse (and she treated me). I went to see my doctor due to some bleeding internal hemmorides. The nurse took my information and did the preliminary pre-exam check in. My blood pressure was 110 over 60 (which it normally is) and my temperature was normal. The doctor came in check the hemmeroids and gave me some persciptions. As I was leaving the nurse handed me another perscription for a weight loss meditcation that was eventual pulled from the market for causing heart problems. The nurse handed me this additional perscription and told me the doctor wanted me to loose weight. As I explaianed to the nurse that that was not what I was there for, and that because the doctor did not discuss that with me during the exam that I was not going to take the meditication. When I got to the pharmacy, the pharmacist filled my percription and started to explain how to take my high blood pressure medication, I lost it. When I told the pharmacist what my blood pressure had been hes was dumbfounded and advised me not to take the medication.

I called my doctor and asked the nurse (because the doctor refused to take my call) why the perscriptions had nothing to do with why I went to the doctor in the first place. The nurse told me that I had high blood pressure I told her she was crazy. I later wrote the doctor a letter to which I never got a response. There used to be a websight where you could lodge complaints against doctors. I wrote a complaint there and lodged a complaint with my insurance company. There used to be an "Ask the nurse" line at several of the hospitals in town and I severly miss them. Check with your insurance company as many do offer a "24 hour ask the nurse" line. I have called my doctor's office after hours (once at 3 am and on weekends. I have always gotten a response (maybe not as fast as I wanted) but in one instance, the doctor told me to go to the ER. And because he did and pre-certified it, the ER copay was waived by my insurance company. But I'm sorry for rambling. Please talk to the doctor or put your concerns in writting. The nurse might have been overloaded with too many calls (which means they need more help) either way the doctor needs to know that your needs are not being met. Good luck.

If you aren't happy with the nurse's response, talk with the doctor. The doctor should know what the nurse is saying and it's being said, since he or she represents the office! If you don't get satisfaction, find another doctor, pronto. Speak up and follow your instincts, you are your child's best advocate. That being said, your child could have post nasal drip, allergies, a cold, an ear infection, or worse. In addition, could it be reflux? I know a few moms with kids who have the same cough/vomiting issue and it's a reflux problem. Either way, it's treatable...with the right doctor.

sometimes it isn't so much that they cough hard, but it is just the right type of cough that it triggers the gag relfex and that makes them vomit.
Sinus colds cause drainage in the throat and that can trigger the gag reflex/vomitting thing.
Definitely say something to the doctor directly about the nurse that was very demeaning. The doctors DO NOT know, unless you tell them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

K., you complained about condescending nurses, but I can tell you that there are condescending doctors too. When you are first time mother, it is hard to know what is non-threatening and what isn't, so, you are doing the right thing checking with the doctor, etc. There are so many things that can go wrong just in the first year, and your son could have gotten dehydrated from all the vomiting. No child is supposed to vomit when caughing.

I had a child that had 2 seizures at age 12 months, once because of my inexperience, and the second under the "ill" advice of the one of the doctors in my doctor's office. After that, I learned, that I am the mom and that as a mother, I can have a better judgment about the seriousness of any illness or symptoms, not the doctors.
The first thing I did after that incident, was to find a doctor that would listen, with a nursing staff that would be more compassionate and more willing to guide me through illnesses. Even though I had a great respect for the doctor we had at first, I did not like his office at all, including his partner, so the change resulted into peace of mind for me. But from then on, I also asked for more help, including, more testing, whenever I saw any of my sons going through something I did not understand or I believed needed testing. I have had two women pediatricians since my kids were little and they have been my support through my child raising years.
I hope I don't prompt you to change doctors if you are happy with your own, but just wanted to share my experience of so many years. My kids are now 19,17, and 15, and I still ask lots of questions and ask the doctor for additional testing and medications whenever I think they need it. Remember you are your child's "first doctor".
My best to you!
A. Carlsgaard

K.-I rarely got that kind of treatment when my kids were young.But,we used an Air Force hospital and once in a while we were treated poorly due to the fact that my husband was not on flying status. But,what I really wanted to say is this,I am currently studying to become a medical assistant and eventually will go into nursing.We are taught that this kind of behavior is not professional at all.I hope that the nurse can learn to be more sensitive to the concerns of young moms like you.Afterall,you just want what is best for your child and that is good.Best of wished to you.--R. M.

I will respond as a mom and a pediatric nurse. THIS IS TOTALLY INAPPROPIATE!! I would call the office, ask to speak to the office manager, tell her calmly how the nurse responded and how it made you feel and that you want something done or you will leave the practice. Also, talk to your doctor. When I was in the office, a sure reason for a child to be seen was coughing hard enough to vomit. That ALWAYS received an appointment. It may indeed be viral and nothing, but it should be checked out. So, take a deep breath and get er girl!

I would speak to the doctor about the "attitude" of his nurse.
If things do not improve I would get to a different doctor.
Mothers do NOT need that hassle.
There are polite and tactful ways to let you know if you are overreacting.
Rudeness is not one of them.

I have gotten that from nurses before, I took my concern to the doctor. Your doctor is their employer. If you are not being treated respectfully then at your next appointment mention it to the doctor. You can even say to her, "I know you see many sick kids a day so this seems trivial to you, but this is my son and he is my only concern right now. Please don't laugh at me."

K.,

I am a mother of four and a grandmother of almost 2 (one due June 2nd). I got that attitude from a ER doctor or two. *Laughing* I learned REAL quick to put the doctor in their place. Doctors are human too, and have no right to make someone feel bad. Remind these ppl that YOU know your child better than they do! You know what is normal and what isn't for that child. A smart doctor will even tell you that!

I would suggest calling your mother, grandmother, or another older female family member to ask advice from. If they think it is something a doctor might need to see too, then by all means call. We as mothers ARE very protective of our children and we are always on the look out for things that aren't right. My daughter asks me questions all the time, and I don't mind. Your first child is always the hardest, your still learning.. they don't come with manuels.

Let the doctor know how it made you feel, if you don't get the response you want, switch to another doctor. I am not sure what area you live in, but Ohio Pediatric's in Huber Heights is a fantastic one! My kids went there for years and a couple still do, now my grandson goes there. Dr. Pipik is absolutely wonderful and thorough!

Best of Luck
T.

If it should happen again, My advise is to seek another DR. My Mother called me at work (I worked midnights at the time) and told me that my daughter had a high fever and to go to their place instead of home. When I got there, it was time to call someone. The nurse finally called back and made very light of it saying: "Well, I guess you could try to bring her in about 2:00 this afternoon." I was so mad when I got off the phone that I told Mom there had to be a DR. around who cared. She told me whom a friend of hers uses for her kids. I called there and they told me: "Get that child in here NOW." I had never been there before. When I got there, the DR. told his other patients that this was an emergency and to please be patient. I gave the nurse info as I could. She followed me around. He checked her, gave her some med and told me that if she was starting to get better by the evening, to call his service and they would get ahold of him. He was her DR. until she was 15 or 16. I was very glad for him. Pat B

I would DEFINATELY atleast tell the doctor the next visit. I ran into a situation with a receptionist & then the billing lady at our pediatrician office, so I ended up writting a letter to our dr, and he called me back and was glad I had wrote him a letter or he'd of never known. I called and they would always tell me he could not take a call, which was fine but they could of given him MY message and he could of called me when HE had time...........anyway, Yes I would definately tell the doctor, he may not know he has a nurse with an attitude!!!

I have no real advice other than to give you the comfort of knowing you're not alone. I not only get the condescending nursing, which I don't get as often, as the doctor calling me "mom" and saying things like, "it's just a cold mom". It's very infuriating. Just wanted you to know that it definitely is not just you. It's amazing that in doctors offices the people feel like they can talk to you that way when you are the one paying for their services!

K.,

For him to be doing this at least 3 times a day I would think that the doctor would want to see him. This thing about he is okay until the fever starts up. My daughter was vomiting for 4 or 5 straight days and the doctor said she was fine because she did not have a fever. Come to find out she had to have the pyloric surgery done. Moms know best when it comes to their own child!! If you think that it could be his sinus then you should see if they could get him something to help with the drainage. Adults hate when they have drainage and it does gag a person. Your son is doing the only thing that he knows to do by trying to get it all out of his body. It seems like he does it when he is in his crib laying down. So try to elevate him while he is asleep.

good luck and remember MOMS KNOW BEST WHEN THERE IS SOMETHING THAT IS NOT RIGHT WITH HER CHILD!

Kristin, i've A.) Went though that with my sons. I have twins that are almost two and whenever they get a bad cold with a nasty cough, it always happens. Always....having twins, i think one night i changed the sheets about 6 times and that included 2 times in my bed too. And B.) Dealt with doctors/nurses comments like that before. First, i took my twins to the doctor for little coughs and sneezes all the time. If i ddint get the answer i wanted at the doctors office and things were still worrying me, i took them to the ER. I'll be honest, the doctor said "it's just a little cough, treat the symptoms" and the ER said "use a breathing machine and put saline drops in their noses, they have bronchitis". Being persistant and trusting your mothers intuition works - dont worry about what others say. At that... My twins have cancer and my 5 month old was born with a CHD and had to have open heart surgery when he was 6 days old. At our last eye exam when they put all 3 boys to sleep, the one nurse noticed as she was wheeling my youngest back to the room that the back of his head had a bald spot. SHe asked the other nurse "i wonder why he has a bald spot on the back of his head like that" and the other immediately said "Oh, it's b/c she has twins and this ones probably always laying down or in his bouncer seat, that's why the hairs gone on the back of his head." That made me furious b/c that's not the truth at all. Infact, when he was in the hospital after birth, they shaved his head in numerous spots for IV's and that happened to be a spot they shaved that hadnt grown back yet. I guess liek your doctors, some people jsut dont watch what they say or think before they speak. I'm 25 too and sometimes i think they think just because i'm young and my kids are close together in age, i'm not as experienced and they have a right to act like that. Anyways, Hope that helps a little

A..

Don’t let rude nurses discourage you from asking questions. They get paid for this! I still cant believe that my labor nurse got mad at me when Dr decided to go for C section after 4 hours of pushing and 18 hours of painful contractions. Labor nurse blamed me for not pushing properly. After the surgery, she won’t let me hold my baby.

You could ask your doctor for a referal to an office with nurses who are not condesending to first time Mom's. Tell them that you love the doctors care (if you do) and that you would not dream of switching if you did not feel demeaned every time you have a question that seems silly to them.

It is just normal to ask questions like the one you asked. If he does not run a fever, and it continues more than a week or two, I would insist that he be seen by his doctor, no matter how condisending the nurse is.

If you have been told by people you respect that you are a worry wort, you might think about some counseling to see if you can bring it down a notch, with two little ones, you will have more than double the issues to worry about and life really does not get better if you worry; life takes care of itself without any angst, sometimes even better than if you had not worried at all!

M.

K.-
I can understand your frustration at feeling like your fears were not being taken seriously. You yourselfhave stated you are called a hypochondriac, worry wart, are over protective etc. Maybe the nurse just talks to you SOOOO much she felt that she has a relationship with you that can be a bit less formal and not so stuffy.

If you know you are this way and people call you this... why not try to chill out a bit...ie like giving the nurse the benifit of the doubt?

I have 4 kids and the first one I called the doc all the time, now I rarely call... you too can chill
:-)

K. W.
I am a nurse and I have a 5 yr old and if I got that response from another nurse at our dr office I would surely
let the dr know I didn't care for the way my problem was handled when you called in and got a return call. Also the child may something wrong if it is a ongoing problem. S. S

Hi there! I just wanted to tell you that unfortunately it seems to be rather common anymore. Our doctors nurses are pretty nice but the office staff out front that you check in with are always a little snooty. It doesn't seem to be just in pediatrics either. I actually had a nurse call me hefty within 10 hours of having a c-section to deliver my son! Let me just say that she had to back her big tush into the shower in the bathroom to help me get to the restroom for the first time. I was so shocked that a nurse, let along one on the MATERNITY FLOOR would be so rude....especially the same day of GIVING BIRTH!!!! Some people are just nasty no matter what profession they chose. Anyway, I hope you have better luck with your nurses!!

I'm so sorry to hear that you were treated so disrespectfully. I am a nurse and it saddens me to know that other nurses can be so prudent. I too have been in your shoes and have received such treatment from nurses in the pediatricians office. You know what I did? I left the practice with a letter to the doctor explaining our reason for leaving. Unfortunately, the doctor was wonderful, but the nurse as she called herself (who was actually a medical assistant who was referred to as his nurse) was very condenscending. You know the office staff can make or break a practice and hopefully the physicians will see this and hire more competant and compassionate staff. The only way this can be reached is by notifying your pediatrician personally. If that does not work, leave the practice and find a better practice. Their a dime a dozen.
Where do you live? I'd be more than happy to recommend some great Peds.
As far as your son, I hope he is doing better and hope you find the reason behind his cough. If it continues with or without a fever I would see the doctor. He is your baby, not the nurse's child, I myself would want to know the real reason behind the cough which requires a visit with your ped..
Good Luck and God Bless you and your family!
J.