Hello. This isn't a huge issue, but I thought I'd ask for a little advice. I'm an artsy type, I like to do craft projects, paint, play with playdoh, build with legos, etc. My daughter is not. She enjoys these activities, but she can stand only so much lego time, playdoh, and coloring. She doesn't care much for puzzles. Doesn't even care much for baby play. What she will do all day long is play with her little dolls, Polly Pockets (the once with the rubber clothes) to be specific. I get doll burn out in about 2 minutes. I don't really even know how to play dolls and I feel bad when I avoid playing with them with my daughter. Am I awful because I can't stand playing my daughter's favorite activity with her?
I might add that she is an only child. She goes to school (headstart) for about 4 hours a day, but other than the occasional visit with cousins, we are her playmates.
Thank you for all the responses. I'm going to try to incorporate several of your suggestions.
J.,
My daughter is also 4 and is also obsessed with her dolls. We just incorporate the dolls into play. For example we play board games and her doll is usally one of the players. Or when we color - her doll colors with us. That makes it a little more interesting for me, and she still gets to play with her "friend" Hope that helps!
I understand where you are coming from with the doll issue. Although my daughter enjoys the arts too. Have you thought about drawing or painting the dolls?
I also went to Michael's around the holiday time and get those foam 3-D pieces. We did a cute fall/pumpkin scene together and just got her a castle and foam gingerbread house. May have to just explore a different type of art activity till she finds a different one.
On another note, the imaginative play isn't all that bad for her either so keep that in mind.
Wow, you and I could be mother and daughter. No. You're not awful. Your daughter will probably develop an excellent imagination playing on her own and creating her own stories for her dolls. She will develop confidence in her own internal space and thoughts. Always welcome and encourage her to do your artsy stuff and always be (or act) interested in the antics of her dolls. Chances are pretty good that she will excel in creative writing and with the proper enocuragement could even be an author one day.
Honestly, I think it's good she has an activity she can do for independent play. If she can play with her dolls on her own for a while, that hlps you get htings done around the house, and helps her imigination develop more. It's good for kids to have play time alone, as well as with others. I wouldn't worry about it to much, as long as you do play that with her occasionally, as well as other things. Maybe you could build furniture out of play doh for her dolls, then you'd both have fun!! Get some old boxes and make a house etc... It's artsy, and fun for her to design her own house!
Hi J.,
Not everyone is a doll person. It's ok. But since you do like the artsy things and she does like the dolls, why not try to incorporate the two. You could make a really cool doll house for her or be the designer for the dolls. My daughter used to love to decorate her doll house. She too could play with dolls all day. She decorated her doll house with mini decorations for each season and had a blast. It encouraged her artistic side and she just loved showing me her dolls in their new remodel. You can do it together, elaborate on her ideas, and its a great self esteem builder for her. Meanwhile keep introducing her to different creative outlets and maybe she'll find one she likes. Good luck.-P.
You could put the two activities together. My Mother used to make doll clothes for me because she liked to sew, but I really didn't. It was really cool and the only clothes I kept on my doll because I got to pick out the fabric and outfit styles. Maybe you could makes "accessories" for the dolls, or make a cool doll house complete with rooms and beds and crafty "mirrors" and art for the walls. To combine the activity you can let her pick out colors and get ideas from her. That way you can do crafts while she plays and adds ideas and she'll have something she treasures because you both made it. You can always keep it going and make out door settings and such.
Hope this helps - I have a boy - so I don't have that option yet to do girly things :)
L.
I am sort of the same way. My daughter could play dolls all day I think, but I get bored quickly. Is there a way you could integrate your creative projects and her dolls? Like you could get some dolls and make fancy dresses for them out of Play Doh. Or you could make paper dolls. Or make a doll house out of cardboard for the Polly Pockets that you can color and make carpet for and create art for the walls.
I think that it is important that you spend some time doing what she wants to do, but she is at the age where she should have some playmates over to play with the Polly Pockets with her. And no, you are not a bad person for not wanting to play dolls. It just isn't your style. You should try to do it a bit, but it is also important for kids to learn that they can have fun doing different things and that what they want to do has to sometimes take a seat to what others want to do.
I think playing with dolls is a good use of the child's imagination. My daughter would concoct all sorts of imaginative play with her Barbies, Polly Pockets, Bratz etc. but I was beyond bored within a few minutes of playing. Since she was an only child I was also her primary "playmate" so I felt bad about not liking to play dolls. I think its easy for kids to enter their imagination, I did alot of that as a kid, but as adults its not so easy to "transcend reality" like that. Its too bad, I could use that skill today ;)
As long as she's ok playing on her own, I wouldn't feel like you always had to play with her in these sorts of activities. I started encouraging more play dates with other kids my daughter's age. That way, they can play dolls and I didn't have to feel bad for "not getting into it."
I love the idea of creating a dollhouse together. Another idea would be to take turns choosing what to play with. This will help her when she gets to school and doesn't always get to choose the activity. Tell her you'll play dolls in the morning, then after lunch it will be your turn to choose the activity. Then give her choices while you're playing (what color play doh or paints to use, which puzzle to do, etc.)
Dont feel bad about not being able to play dolls with her. I think that you should let her have alone time and let the doll playing time be that time, if she doesnt mind! You can reserve other things for you and her time.
you could put the dolls away for awhile in a box on a shelf so she can't see them she may ask for them but she will find other things to play with. And then while she plays with something just go about doing the other stuff you like doing while you sit at the same table. Even if you are not playing the same thing you are together I actually bought our daughter the girls legos and she made a house for her polly pockets. And just aside note did you hear about those polly pocket dolls having lead paint in them?
Giving children their own play time is actually a good thing. It allows them to play and use her own imagination.
