Doll for Toddler That Represents Her Ethnicity?

I don't think you should take it away. Why does it have to look like her?
I think if you take the doll away and give her one that's "racially correct" you will be stressing racial differences.

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if she doesn't see the difference between you and her dad than why should you!! you are the one trying to change the way she sees herself. and if the family can't handle that she likes a doll than they don't have to loo at her!!!

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This is only an opinion........

I am not trying to remove your concern, and I am no expert, but it makes no sense to me to take the doll away. Your partner is not the same race as you are so isn't the lesson to love everyone? Yes, I think it is great you are going to be sure your daughter gets a bi-racial doll too, but you choose for love. Let her choose that way too.........whatever color.

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I am bi-racial and I too gravitated toward white dolls when I was little. Even though I "mothered" a blond-blue-eyed doll, I grew up just feeling fine about race and my ethnic heritage. I say be careful not to upset your child by projecting personal fears, cultural expections and beliefs on her. Remember, she comes from two cultures and sees many shades of faces if she's close to both sides of her family.

I believe it means nothing one way or the other if she chooses one type of doll or the other. If you ask her about it, she'll probably tell you she likes a particular doll because it reminds her of someone, or she thought it was pretty. If the doll doesn't look like her, it doesn't mean she's hating her own looks or her own heritage...but perhaps appreciating aspects of her family tree, or a friend she has at school.

I think some people take the famous "study" done with black and white children choosing white dolls over black dolls too far, as the study was more pertinent to the era the study was done. (see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kenneth_and_Mamie_Clark )

Back then kids only saw negative images and depiction of people of color in the media, vestiges of Jim Crow and separate but equal was still very stron in people's minds, and very few people of color worked or lived outside their defacto segregated schools and neighborhoods. So yeah, the kids of color choosing the white dolls was alarming. It was a reminder of the psychological undermining they got a dose of daily.

Today, we have a black president, many people of color and mixed heritage in all walks of life. There are plenty of positive role models and more and more representations of multi-ethnic people. There is also you as her parents! :)

I think it just as bad to pigeon hole her to relate to something, she may not feel a bond with. It may make her feel like she's ignoring a cultural side of herself...or make her feel like one race is bad or the other good. It took both cultures to bring the child into the world, she should be able to choose the type of dolls she relates to and wants to play with.

In retrospect, I actually disliked molded baby dolls because I thought all of them were ugly and weird back then. I had only two I played with regularly, and a bunch that I trashed with markers and wrecked their hair, but overall, I preferred stuffed animals and rag dolls instead. In the end, my two molded dolls, a white Alive Doll and a black Betsy Wetsy type doll wound up abandoned in the bottom of my toy box as some of my least favorite toys. I did not think they looked human. I didn't think they looked like me. I didn't like them. I only wanted the Baby Alive doll because it could eat, pee, AND poop, which I thought was cool, so I asked my mom if I could have one and picked the white version. My mom had no problem and things were fine at home.

I remember my grandmother was very upset that I wanted that white Baby Alive Doll. So she took me to the store, and I was given a choice (by her) to pick out a different doll. She kept pointing to the black dolls. To her horror, I kept pointing to the white dolls with dark hair and eyes, because of what was available in the store, to me they looked more like the people in my family than the black dolls at the time did. No one in my family had very dark skin with pink lips like the plastic dolls I was given did. My grandmother gave me the black Betsy Wetsy doll anyway.

Bottom-line, she didn't get it and I wasn't articulate enough to explain where I was coming from. Instead she was took it personally that I wanted the white doll...she somehow thought I was rejecting her (black side of the family) and our heritage. She didn't take into consideration what my point of view was...that I wasn't really relating to ANY of the dolls, but to me those looked more plausible considering what my mother and I look like.

Furthermore, I thought all of the plastic dolls looked surreal, but the black dolls looked especially un-natural. I didn't think they looked like the black people I knew with darker skin at all...and none of the dolls ever reflected the looks of a bi-racial person. Once I found a native american doll at a gift shop that had the right skin tone, but she still didn't look like me. I got it anyway.

Today, molded dolls have come a looong way. For the children of friends and family that have married inter-racially, I give them dolls (if they want them as I still think molded dolls are weird anyway) marketed to Hispanic children as they look closer to what they look like. Not perfect, as some of my relatives have blond curls, red hair, even blue eyes, and varying shades of skin tone.

Let her choose her own dolls, and try not to read so much into what she's playing with, and focus more on the messages she's getting about race from family and friends. If you have harmony in your family and no qualifiers about who or what she can play with, she will be just fine.

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My granddaughter is asian and white. My DIL and If have been looking for an asian doll with brown hair rather than black hair and havent found one. Boy, it would be a great market to be in right now since there are so many biracial kids. HINT HINT--- someone take this idea and RUN with it!
I don't really think its all that important to have a dolly that looks like you tho... I think it's more of a "mom" thing to get them that way for their daughters. I doubt there would be any ill effects if your daughter played with all white or all black dolls. I had all sorts of barbies with every hair color and never had a "favorite" of that group. I do recall that my sister always had blond baby dolls and mine always had brown hair now that I think back on it..... but I didnt make that particular decision ;) it was only a way to distinguish which dolly was whose back then I think.

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We got a catalog the other day for "twin dolls". You pick a skin shade, hair color, eye color, include a photo of your child and they send you a doll who looks just like them. I didn't keep the catalog (a little soon for my children) but I bet you could google twin doll and find it. As for having a doll of the wrong ethnicity, I carried an african american doll around every where I went when I was little and no one (back then, 35 years ago) thought anything of it. I think if people have a problem with something like that they really need to get a life. lol

P.S. I did the search for you, here you go...http://www.mytwinn.com/

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Look at LakeshoreLearning. com Mom. It a great educational toy and teacher store, you can one if there is not this store in your area. They have different multi-racial dolls and baby dolls that are just what you are looking for. Our preschool has a number of their baby dolls in many different skin tones and they are well loved. Hope this helps.

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This website has some cute dolls: http://www.sleepysoft.com/site/480020/page/536565

I have to tell you I have a caucasion daughter w blue eyes and her favorite baby doll is a black baby doll that a friend's daughter passed on to her :)

Good luck finding a good dolly!

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Lakeshore Learning and other teacher supply catalogs carry real biracial dolls. It is almost impossible to find an ethnic doll that looks biracial except at these stores. They are made to last.

As a teacher, I always provided dolls representing all races. It bothered me when the white dolls were picked most so I made sure to let the kids see me playing with different dolls for a minute or two.

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She might be a little young for them now, not to mention that they and all their accessories are ridiculously expensive, but American Girls offers dolls that you can customize with skin color, hair color, eye color, etc. to "match" your daughter. But I agree with many others on here that I wouldn't read too much into her preference for the doll she has now. She identifies with it and finds it appealing for whatever reason and trying to steer her away from it or showing your disapproval may make her feel like you don't approve of her or her choices. She may be half black, but she is half white too, and has white relatives from your husband's side of the family. It is still part of her identity. I can understand the sensitivity surrounding this issue, but don't let it swing the other way and make her "deny" or not fully embrace any part of herself. I wouldn't worry about what anyone thinks - this is your daughter and she needs to know her mommy will always support her. You can also talk to your hubby about this and see what he says and what he thinks his family will think.

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My daughter (she's 3.5 years old) is very attached to a doll she named Baby Claire. She's blonde, blue eyes, and very caucasian. I'm latina and my husband is Caucasian. I don't think it's a big deal. To them at such a young age don't see the different in the color or the way the doll looks. To them it's a doll they love. Now that she also plays with Barbies I try to tell people not to just get her the blonde barbie. She needs variety.

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I think that nowadays, there is so much variety in dolls and how they look, that to me, the idea of matching a doll to look like your child to support her self-image is a little outdated. I mean, I totally get it, I am guessing that you are a child of the 80's or early '90's and back then, it was actually not that easy to get dolls that were not Caucasian, and that did send a negative message to all non-white children. But, I would like to think that as a society we are beyond this level of categorization, and that we can teach our children to love her dollies because they are representations of human beings, not representations of a particular race or ethnicity. I think it is wonderful that your daughter has a dolly "BFF" -- that shows me her self-image is already robust, healthy, and intact. You can augment this by introducing a variety of doll looks, faces, sizes, and colors. Currently, I hear Barbie has come out with a more extensive line of brown-skinned dolls in various shades. I saw it online, so you may want to check it out if you want.

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You have some good suggestions here. Another might be to provide her, over time, with various dolls that show various racial backgrounds.

If members of your husband's family say anything about the doll she has now, just tell them that this doll is your daughter's friend at the present time. Then mention to them what you've mentioned here, and they might have some good suggestions as well.

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When I was a little girl I had 2 favorite dolls; one was a Raggedy Ann and one my mom made me for my birthday. Of course, Ann is a red-head and the doll my mom made had blonde hair and blue eyes. I'm hispanic and have brown hair and green eyes. I loved the dolls b/c they were gifts from two people I loved dearly, not b/c of what they looked like.

I am making my daughter a doll like the one my mom made me for her first Christmas this year, and it will have my daughter's brown hair and green eyes, just because I think it will fun to have a doll that resembles her. But I hope she loves it b/c mommy made it for her, not b/c of what it looks like.

If you want to have a custom doll made that more closely resembles her skin tone, hair color, etc, you can go to Etsy.com. There are lots of folks that make dolls and you can request a custom doll, even send her pic to the crafter, and most of them are very reasonably priced.

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Wow, does it really matter what the color of her doll is? Isn't she doing exactly what we are trying to teach our children? Don't worry about it. My daughter's favorite doll was an African American doll she picked out herself. We are caucasian. She took it everywhere. It pretty much was the only doll she played with except for her Asian doll. Even my oldest daughter's favorite doll did not look like her. It was a white and pink rag doll that she still has today and she will be 21 years old soon. The color of the doll only will mean something if you make it mean something. Let her be a kid and enjoy her doll.

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I don't mean this to sound racist - and I hope it doesn't, but when I was a little girl (I am 36) we had doll's in the U.K called golliwogs - they were black dollies, with afro hair - pretty much everyone had one, and I loved my golliwog to bits - literally - I never even once thought of it being a different race to me.
I think let her carry her white doll with pride, all dollies are the same under the plastic LOL!

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Just had to answer this because it made me think of when I was a little 4 year old. My baby brother was just born, so my Grandmother gave my Dad $$ and told him to take me to Toys R us, and have me pick out a baby doll. She said since my Mom would be bringing home a baby doll I should be bringing one home as well.

Off we went to Toys R Us, and I found a baby doll that was a black baby doll. I am Latin, my Grandma is Puerto Rican and (was racist at the time- until her daughter married a black man, and her other daughter married a white woman :) funny how things work out. Anyway, my Grandmother had a heart attack her cute little grandaughter carrying around a black baby (with no clothes, my choice haha).. She said to my Dad couldn't you have chosen a different baby. He said I tried giving her the same doll but white and I wouldn't have it. I don't know where that doll is now and i don't even remember caring what color skin it was so i dont think it really matters now or later. Baby dolls are baby dolls and maybe it would be good to get her a variety of dolls to show as the united states we are all different colors, shapes and sizes :)

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I'm the same as your daughter. Half black, Half white.
Honestly I wouldn't make it a big deal. Let her keep her favorite doll.

It shouldn't rub them the wrong way.
I know it didn't with my grandparents.

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For what it's worth, I am white as are my children. My aunt made me a black baby doll when I was young and I loved it to pieces - litterally. My older daughter was attached to a black barbie doll. And my youngest daughter had a black doll she loved. I don't see anything wrong with it.

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