Dogs - Winter Park, FL

If you find an answer to this one, please let me know. I AM a dog lover, but feel the same way. We never allowed our dogs to accost guests. They were allowed to go sit/stand next to a person without touching unless the person touched them. It was easy to train them, whenever they broke the rule, out they went until the guest left. It never took any of our dogs long to figure out their manners. Of course they weren't allowed to beg at the table or watch anyone eat, and they weren't allowed to sit around the living room and lick themselves! People have said that their dogs are a part of their family, and we have felt that way also, hence our dogs have manners as do the people in our family. Even as a dog lover I hate being jumped on and not even my own dogs are allowed to lick my face (yech). Enough venting, I would like to know a polite way to express the same sentiments as you.

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I suggest you watch a few episodes of the Dog Whisperer so you are better able to take the situation in hand if the dog owner won't.

I have two big dogs and I do not allow them to jump on people or even greet people at the door. They are to sit until released when someone comes in and if that person isn't used to big dogs, they are to remain on the other side of the room. This is not practical for all people or all dogs though, so to expect that you won't have to touch or deal with a dog when you enter their home is not reasonable. That leaves you with just a few options:

- Get over it
- Learn to handle dogs enough to get them under control
- Stop going to homes that have dogs. (And while you feel this isn't a reasonable option, it also may not be reasonable for you to go into a dog's home and expect them not to act like dogs.)

Watch a bit of the Dog Whisperer so you can enter a room in an authoritative manner and more easily direct a dog to leave your personal space.

Also, please consider the message you are sending to your children. You are going to end up with 3 children who don't like, or are afraid of, animals. I encourage you to deeply consider why you dislike animals so much and what you can do to minimize that.

2 moms found this helpful

Could you just honestly say, "I love people, but dogs... Not so much!" and laugh but they should get the message ... otherwise if the dog/owner persists, I think I would say,"I think your dog likes me a little too much... I'll just wait outside."

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Hi T.,

Honesty is the best policy. You've already made the point that you don't want to claim allergies because you don't actually have them. So I am assuming that you don't want to lie. (Good for you, by the way.) I imagine that your friends and family with dogs know that you don't like their dogs. I can not imagine that you are able to hide your expression as one approaches you. But I doubt they are aware that you are downright offended by their animals. Tell them. I have a dog, but there are rules. She is never, ever to come indoors, or even on our porch. She isn't to jump, even though she is a very small breed. She has learned very well. There are still a few people who come to our home who are afraid of her. Honestly, she is so small it's quite humorous, but I will "protect" my visitors when asked. But the thing is, if they don't ask, I can't know that they are afraid of my 6 in. tall dog. The idea is absurd to me, just as I'm sure it is that you are offended by all of your friends/families' dog(s) to them. So, just tell them. Good luck.

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I guess I’m going to be the only one but my dogs, cats, and my bird live here, this is their home. If you don’t want them to sniff you or even touch you then don’t come over. I find it very rude that you think it is your right to control another persons home. I can understand not wanting to be jumped on but to not even want the animal to touch you is a bit far. Either deal with it or don’t go to their houses. I’m not assuming you are a dog lover, I am assuming that you are entering a home with pets at your own free will and willingly putting your self in a situation that you will be sniffed, licked and touched by an animal.

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How about being honest and saying that you are just not comfortable.

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Since they are friends and family, just tell them what you've told us and ask them to kindly keep therir dog away from you. Yes, they may get offended, but that's up to you to deal with the dog and not offend them, or to speak up and have them offended. You have to decide which is more important.

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As a dog lover myself, I can tell you that I try to be sensitive to individuals that come to my home. My dogs go in their crates if somebody suddenly drops by. Once they're used to the guest, the crates are opened and they're alowed to roam about the house, say their hellos and evaluate the guests,after all, it is THEIR home and they will try to protect it as well as their families. Once they're OK with the visit, they go about their business, I have trained them that way.
There are people that do allow their pets to do whatever they want (Have you ever noticed how some parent in the same manner, allow their children to behave the same way???) and I belive that is wrong but after all it is THEIR HOME. I am in no way saying that children are like dogs, I am saying that the owners/parent behavior is the same. Have you ever had to deal with that situation? If so, how did you handle that one?
The best suggestion I have for you is to hold whatever meetings, reunions or gatherings you must have with the people that own the pets in YOUR home. That way you will certainly not be bothered at all with this unwanted situation. Not everybody is understanding enough to realize that their love for animals is not shared by everyone.
Good luck!

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Hi T.,
I am an animal lover and I love them so much I refuse to eat any.
That being said I had a dog and two cats who died (over a period of time obviously) and for a few years after I was very bothered by any pets coming over to me to get attention or give love. It reminded me of my pets that I lost. I simply told my friends that because of my pets dying I couldn't feel close to animals and find it upsetting so could them get the pet from coming over to me. If they are decent people, they will understand. You can say the truth: I grew up with allergies therefore I never was able to learn to bond with them, I find it difficult to deal with when they approach me. I hope you understand and then smile. If they don't help you out there is something wrong with them and like someone mentioned, if picking up a child, wait outside.
I NEVER liked when a dog would lick my face either.

Good luck.

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I was just curious to read what the other posters had to say. I also feel a different way about housepets in general. Cats don't usually bother me, but I am allergic to some. Snakes, ferrets, birds, dogs, etc. all kind of make me uneasy. I know how to properly care for a pet and it irritates me to no end how lazy pet owners can be. Too often the entire house is taken over by pets and you can't get comfortable. If there's a toy on the floor, it's the pets. Can't sit down because there's fur on everything. Can't eat there because animal begs at your feet. And a lot of owners just assume that you're totally comfortable with having their pet all up on you like you're the new toy.
I am very sensitive to smells and the smell of dog's breath literally makes me want to puke. And it sticks with you when you leave. But all my friends have pets. Some have good control and I love those animals. They take care of them by taking them to the puppy spa for baths and haircuts and they brush their little teeth. Those animals are very well behaved and I don't think twice about going to their homes. I also have some friends who only get their dog's hair cut twice a year and rarely brush their teeth. They're allowed to sit on any piece of furniture. The smell alone is enough to keep me away.
I'm actually pet sitting for a friend for the last two weeks for her 4 dogs and cat. I go every day and play with them, feed them and give them attention. I know I could be a great pet owner, but I know I would prefer for my home to be pet free. At least for now. I don't usually hold their behavior against them. It's usually the owner who is the lazy one and lets the dogs get away with things they shouldn't be allowed to do. (being licked is the worst!) *gag*

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T., I had to chuckle when I read your post. I, too, do NOT like dogs. Ironically, I grew up with them as a child but I do not like them at all now that I'm grown. In fact, when I told my husband that I was afraid of dogs, he laughed at me, thinking I was just saying that because he wanted a dog but I did not. One day walking in our neighborhood, while pregnant with our second child, three unleashed dogs ran up to us, frightening me to the point where I sobbed uncontrolably and nearly hyperventilated. My husband was surprised by my reaction, thus it proved that I was not joking. My fear is very real and I cannot explain it or where it came from. Like I said, I grew up with dogs as a child and have never had a negative experience. EVERYONE who knows me knows that I do NOT like dogs and I have no problems telling them so. A good friend of mine has a large dog and I nearly jumped into her arms when her large canine ran and jumped on me. People do not take me seriously at times but I can tell you that most everyone in my neighborhood knows to keep their dogs on a leash because of my intense fear. You should not feel awkward for having to tell people that you simply do not like dogs and that you would appreciate it if they could keep their dog in another room while you visit. If they refuse, then they are just jerks. It's so sad to put someone through torture like that. I would refuse to visit anyone who cannot respect my fear of their beloved pet.

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Tell them you are dog phobic and having a dog near gives you a panic attack.

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I am a dog owner, and thus am relatively sad that you feel the way you do. However, as a dog owner who actually works hard to keep my jumpy dog off people by keeping her behind a gate when people come over that I know do not like dogs, I would have to say, be honest. Tell people you do not like dogs and to please keep their dog confined when you come over. If you are not willing or able to change the way you feel about dogs, then you MUST be honest with those who have them. Harboring such negative thoughts about your friends and family and their pets is only going to affect your relationships with the humans negatively. If you are upfront with your feelings about their dogs, at least they know to keep their dogs away from you when you are over and then you can relax and have a good relationship with the humans of the household.

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Hi T.,

I certainly don't think a little white lie is going to hurt anyone in this case. But if you don't want to do that, then your only option is to tell the truth and ask that they call their dog away from you or you could say "No" to the dog repeatedly and maybe the owners will get the hint that you'd rather not be bothered. Just know that these people will probably get defensive and you may come off as being mean. Dogs are people pleasers and get excited when people come over — that's just the way they are.

I'm not sure what else to tell you. I don't have a dog, but I have had many dogs before and I love animals. You have to realize that you are in a minority when it comes to not being an animal lover and most people probably won't understand why you react the way you do. But if you don't like dogs, that's your right. Just be prepared that your reaction to people's pets will probably offend them no matter what. Most pets are just like family members.

Good luck,
L.

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I see you got a lot of responses here. But I think if you just say that you don't care for animals the person should respect this and take the dog in another room. If it is friends and family, then you may want to put your hand out for a minute for the dogs to sniff and then kindly ask for them to go away. It is hard for those who LOVE dogs like family but they should respect others wishes as well! If it doesn't work at all then make a quick visit, in and out. Sorry to say, not all people are respectful of others feelings! Good luck, and try your best to keep your cool.

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Hi T., I am a dog lover and used to foster dogs in my house.I had six dogs in my home at one time but everyone that came over was a dog lover so I didn't have to worry about what to do with them when people came over. Now I have 1 small dog. I always pick her up to answer the door and then ask the person if they like dogs before I put her down. I usually put her in the other room when I have someone new to the home. Even if they say they don't mind the dog I think it is rude to have my dog jumping all over someone.
I would just say to the person thay you hope they don't mind but could you please put your dog in the other room while you and your child are there. Personally I would understand. Good luck, D.

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Hi, T.. Well, I'm not a huge dog lover, either, and I also find it annoying to be accosted by a slobbery dog.

The only thing I can suggest is this: be honest. Be diplomatic, but honest. Let the person know, before you come over, that you don't like animals, and you don't want to hurt the person's feelings or the dog's, for that matter, but you don't want to touch or play with the dog, and you don't want the dog to mess with you. I think that as long as you are honest and you are not mean when you say it, that people who love their dogs will respect your wishes and put the dog in another room. Just ask nicely; most people, especially ppl who are supposed to be close to you, should care.

BTW, the best-behaved dogs are dogs that are trained to NOT sniff crotches or rear-ends. Well-trained dogs do not jump on people, and they do not lick them, either. So this is not good behavior for an indoor dog. At all. I've watched that show on Animal Planet, It's me or the dog, and that lady is a genius at getting dogs to behave themselves.

Peace,
Syl

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Wow, I know most people who have dogs that don't let them do this to others. Maybe there is a way to nicely hint them into realization...Maybe you could suggest waiting on the porch and tell them the dog has been getting a little too friendly. Maybe they don't even realize what is happening. I think I'd tell them this: I love your dog, he's adorable, but lately he's been getting too friendly with me. I know you have been working on teaching him rules lately, so I thought I'd tell you. Or-You could also hint by firmly saying "off" and maybe she'll get the idea that you're being pestered. I sure hope that helps-what a difficult situation to be in.

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I LOVE DOGS!!! But, I also love my friends. #1 I do not allow my dog to jump all over my guests and #2 I would not be offended if a friend asked that my dog be controlled when he/she visits. My dog is very well behaved but does initially get excited when guests come over. I put my dog on a leash and control him when people come over and then he settles down in a few minutes. I think if your friends are friends then they should understand you don't share the same enthusiasm as they do for their pets. I don;t agree with all of my friends regarding politics or other likes and dislike differences and I don't really see this as that different. I think it is all in the way that you talk to them and ask them. You don;t want to sound like you think they are bad dog owners or that their dogs are bad. Also, you should be reasonable in your request. Think about what you can deal with. Are you going to ask that the animal be separated completely or just controlled such as I mentioned with the dog on a leash so it can be with the group/owner but not be all over you. I think if you are tactful & reasonable in your request then your friends will understand.

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Full disclosure: I am a 3 dog owner (big dogs too).

I hate it when dogs lick and jump all over me, especially the ones who try to jump for your mouth to lick there or your face. Yuck. My sister in law calls me Lucy ("dog germs").

I work fervently with my dgos to train them. "Off" is their magic word. Turning your body sideways when a dog is facing you is telling the dog you are not interested. Sideways body positioning is very non-threatening to a dog. They get the message fast.

I honestly would respect the fact that if someone didn't like dogs, that they tell me up front so I can put them up. Honesty is the best policy. Good luck.

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T., it sounds to me like your issues are with someone very specific who you probably just need to talk to about it. Seems your issues are far beyond a 'dislike' for animals.
I am a dog-owner whose animals ARE family. The way you talk about them is actually pretty offensive to me. Frankly I'm glad I don't have to worry about you coming into my house. I have heard people without kids talk about them similarly to the way you talk about dogs. Some people don't like kids, some people don't like dogs. If you're in my house, either deal or don't come. I expect nothing different when I'm in their home.
If it's really that serious you should let people know up front you are terrified/disgusted by/severely allergic to their pet so they will accomodate you or at least be kind enough to keep the pets out of the way when you show up.
In the meantime, you may want to consider that your attitude here probably comes across to those who know you well.
I am sorry you have such strong feelings about dogs. If you've never loved one, clearly you can't understand what it is to have them as a member of the family.
Best of luck.

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T., I find it interesting reading the responses and that dog owners and lovers are offended. I am a dogwowner and lover and was not offended. Some people don't like dogs/pets. Period. End of story. And as much as YOU think your dog is perfect and fun and playful - trust me - they are not to someone else. I have two lovable rat terriers, but when my in-laws beagles come my patience is tested. The dogs bark and howl, will jump on people, jump on the furniture and we can't all go out b/c someone has to be home with the dogs and make sure they don't destroy the house that they are visitors in. It has put a lot of tension and stress when they visit. Bottomline - some dogs are well behaved and will listen to their owners, are like family and can and should be put away, i.e. crate trained. Please be honest and speak up. Please don't blame the dog/pets - the responsibilty lies with the owners. It is irresponsible and reprehensible that an owner would just let their dogs do what they "allow". It is OK until its not OK. It may be an inconvenience to them but either train the dog to be appropriate or let the dog rule the household!

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I have a dog who gets overexcited by people, I try and get him in the backyard or porch when people come over. If you don't like animals just tell your friends to please put them away. Say it like it is your fault or rather in away that does not offend or make it there fault. I feel sorry for you that you cannot open yourself up to animals. Did you know that people who have animals actually recover faster from major illnesses(heart attacks etc.) than people who do not. Just a thought.

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T.-

I personally love animals, but I understand your feelings, too. Even though I have grown up with dogs, and still have dogs, I do not like being licked in the face or body by them (things have really changed for me once my son was born!). I think instead of telling people you have allergies (like you said b/c it is not true), I would just tell your true feelings. There is nothing wrong with not liking an animal/s. If I knew that a friend or family member of mine did not want to have my dog around, I would respect you while you are at my house and close my dog up. Good luck- hope things work out!

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Hi T., I'm not offended my your feelings, but personally I don't have friends who aren't dog lovers. In fact my neighbors are dog lovers and our dogs go out in the evening and play together. I have 3 dogs. They are a part of our family. We do train the dogs so they are not allowed to jump on people. I do allow them to sniff people when they come in the house because it is their way of getting to know the person. I have a pit/shepherd mix, lab/mastiff mix and american bull terrier. They are all rescue dogs and we love them dearly. Though potty training the 12-week old is a bit of a challenge since I haven't had a male dog for some years. Not crotch sniffers in the bunch! Take care and good luck!

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T.,

I think what you said to ask your question was very honest as well as sensitive. I think if you explain to your family and friends what you explained to us you will be ok. I am a dog owner, but was never an animal lover. We got a dog because my mother in law bread them and my daughters wanted one. I love my dog after 8 years and could not imagine life with out him. However he does not sit on furniture. He does not jump on people at the door. He does not get food from the table. Do not be affraid to ask people to put there dog away before you come. Be sincere and be honest and I do not think anyone will fault you. Good Luck!

I completely agree with the other two people that said to just tell your friends/family that you are not comfortable with dogs. As a child I was terrified of dogs, to the point that I wouldn't go to a friends house until I made my mom ask if they had a dog. I wouldn't babysit for families that had dogs, when selling girl scout cookies if I knocked on a door and heard a bark I walked away and let my sisters have the sale.
Anyway I have grown out of this (for the most part) and two years ago my husband and I bought a little short haired pomerian. I love her and let her crawl all over us, but I completely understand that she is not a part of my friends family. When we have people over I always try to ask if she is okay being out. If there is even the slightest hesitation on the persons part, I just put the dog upstairs or on the patio, or just in another room. I know that people might not be comfortable saying anything so I always try to remember to ask.
Good luck and just try to remember your friends and family are not trying to make you uncomfortable with their little "furbabies"

As a dog owner of a big, overly-friendly dog, I can sympathize! No dog owner should be offended by your request...i'm sorry you have to make it at all. I would take matters into your own hands with a firm "Name of dog, GO LAY DOWN!" this should get the dog as well as the owners attention, hopefully prompting them to control their own animal.

Wow. Ask to wait outside and don't return to the offensive home.

As a dog owner, I would just like you to be honest! I would be mortified if my dog offended any of my friends. Please tell the owners before you go over there... "I am very sorry, but I don't like dogs. Would you mind keeping your pet away from me when I come over?" Simple. I would definitely put my dog outside to ease any guest's presence in my house.

Omg, I am so glad you put this out there for dog owners to contemplate! Before visiting a friend of mine with a big yellow lab, I'd say to my family, "okay, I'm on my way to get raped by kipper, pray for me." Because this particular dog was so big and forceful, that's exactly what it felt like. I wonder what goes thru dog owners minds when their dogs violate their guests?

just being honest and being yourself is the best policy so its not always what we say but how we say.whatever you say say it with love and people seem to accept it better.just state the truh just say i dont like being around dogs for this reason and then tell them how you were one time allergic to them therefore you dont enjoy dogs for that reason because of all the problems they have caused you.i would understand that.but whatever you say just say it with love.wish you the best C.

I think you may need to adapt a little here. It's one thing if the animal is out of control scratching, jumping and nipping, then you have a definate gripe and by all means say ouch, Fuzzy's nails are a bit long and I'm getting scratched can we visit in another room please? I myself do not have a dog so I'm not offended either way (2 cats who are aloof and could care less whether you pay attention to them or not)If you have a lot of family and friends that have animals then you may have to slowly introduce yourself to the dog world til an occasional wet nose, sniff or happy bark doesn't have you wanting to crawl up the nearest tree until it's a dog free world :) Good luck!

oh my god T. you're my twin
THAT IS ME
but i have to say i don't dwell on it, if someone who has dogs and invites me over (with my kids over) i say before i even say 'yes' will you have your dogs in somewhere where i can't see them or be touched or approached by them. most people i meet and develop some kind of friendship know from the get-go that i am not an animal lover, and that it is what it is
soooo, to answer your question, yes i have come to realize that many dog owners assume everyone likes dogs. i even have neighbors who let their dogs lose while they're away at work. my kids and i used to be petrified going out into our own yard because there are at least two dogs (big) that come unsupervised.
we have talked to one owner and he has apologized. the other owner could care less about us finding this irritating and frightening.
so go ahead and say it. i hope people don't get offended by how you feel. it is HOW you feel.
:)
good luck

Hi T.,

I am a dog lover and would not at all be offended if you politely told me that you were not and asked if the dog could be put away until you left. Or, if you don't want to take that road, just wait by the door, outside. I know that it is hot right now, and the owner probably wouldn't want the door open with the air coming out. If you are asked, just say that you don't particularly want to be sniffed by the dog. Either they get the message or they don't. I have a friend who was attacked by a dog when she was small. She can't stand to be around dogs. As a responsible pet owner, the person has to take the other persons feelings into account. If they don't, you have the right to ask that they do something. I don't think you should lie, anyway, so glad that you won't. Good luck with this.... I hate going to people's houses that have pets and the only place to sit is on the couch that the shedding dog just got off of...... but that is a whole other topic:-)

Good luck!!!

Roz

Maybe bring some small treats with you and ask the dog to sit??? I would imagine that giving the dog a small handful of cookies would be more enjoyable than being jumped on or sniffed/licked.... If the owners don't pick up on what you are doing(or take a while to 'get it' then I would tell them that you have been bringing training rewards so that Buddy will sit/learn rather than sniff/ lick which makes you uncomfortable.

I read alot of the other answers and agree, but I also think it deoends on how well you know the dog owner. If its a quick in and out thing to pick up your child, I would let it go, but if it is someone you know well, or see often. I would nicely request they put their dog away or out back until you leave. Personally, my daughter is TERRIFIED of dogs, big, small, it doesnt matter, and we ALWAYS run into similar situations. If its someone I know, I will just ask, if its someone I dont really know all to well, I kinda just hint that shes really not a big dog fan. They usually get the hine and will put them away. Good Luck!

Hi T.,

I am a dog lover - I have 2 dogs & I would want someone to let me know that my dogs were bothering them. I would put them away for what little time you would be in my house. I have a neighbor and I love their dog, I helped potty train it - but it is hard for me to go to their house now because she jumps on you sooooo much (so I understand your issue). You should not worry so much about hurting someones feelings - if you smoked and they did not want you doing it around them, would you? Or would you hold off until they were gone.... bad example I know - but you see where I am going. Being up-front and honest helps everyone & it does not need to be an uncomfortable thing, just a little request to the people as you walk in.

It seems you have two issues. One - the dog owner's neglect in not training the dog. Two - the relationship you have with each family. Our young female boxer jumps and licks when our son is in charge. But even he, who is bonkers about her, knows to put her away when she is excited (licking and jumping). Only you can assess each families reaction to your request. I think a simple sigh and a "would you mind putting "name" in the other room?" sends the message that you don't want to offend but you would appreciate having one less distraction. We are a funny breed. Some of us take dog owning (and the liability!) very seriously others don't. Good luck on finding the right balance but in the end you do have the right to be left alone, even by a dog.

T. - if you cannot know ahead of time whether or not the animals are in the home when you have to visit then, the only thing you can CONTROL is your personal situation. That said, then wear long pants to cover exposed skin. Do not put your hands where they can lick them. I suggest that you call the homes first and request that the pets be put up while you are there.

I have 3 dogs, 3 cats, a hamster, and a turtle, 1 of my dogs is fine with guests, 1 will knock you down and eat you the other is a little 6 lb fur ball. The cats are a law unto themselves and stay out 22 hours a day, the turtle has NEVER licked or scratched or bit anyone ever, but I understand that not everyone likes pets.

My 12 year old is horribly offended at people who don't like animals - I have tried explaining to her that people have a choice and the right to their own opinions and feelings, but she has an answer for everything I say.

Speak up or put up - sorry that is harsh I know but life is too short.
M. F

honesty is the BEST! i've been to a similar situation..but as you said when they see their dog as a family member it's harder. You just need to simply be alone with the owner when you find the chance sit them down and say "I know how much this dog means to you and by any way i do not want to offend you, but i am very uncomfertebol with your dog licking/sniffing me. i'm letting you know the best way i know how to and i hope i don't offend you but please try to hold the dog back or put it in another room when i'm around. I know i should have said something sooner but i didn't know how to because i know you see this "name of dog" as a family member. i hope you understand" and that should do it talk with the owner put them at e-z. talk to them as if it were your child and you were teaching them a proper manner that they lack in. that should be easier and they are bound to understand. And i'm the same way with dogs.

Just say "I'm allergic to animals". And maybe you can make arrangements to meet your friends outside of their home, so their animals won't be around.

T.,

I would just let your friends know that you are allergic to the animals and that if they would like to meet at their house the only way possible is if the animals were placed in another part of the house. If that is not possible then arrangements should be made to meet elsewhere. You should not be placed in an uncomfortable situation.

Good luck.

S.

I think its sad you feel that way about dogs, however if you are uncomfortable, just say so! The owner is not a mind reader, so I am sure once they know they will then take action. My dog is big & hyper and gets very excited when people come to visit, so I could understand that. He is so happy to see you!! I must say he is my son and has the run of the house, including the couches, my bed, etc. If a visitor doesnt like that there is dog hair on the couch, then don't sit there, if it really bothers them that they must complain, then I'd say then don't come over!