Dog Sitter & Inviting Others

I think you are waaaaaayyyyyy over reacting. I used to sit for neighbors' pets and consider myself one of the best animal people I know. I have brought in a friend or sibling for the evening visit if I felt a little nervous about the dark in an empty house. I also brought my brother over because he loved to play their piano.

Not a big crime in my book as long as the house is in tack and the animal is happy, healthy and loved. A young girl needs to stay safe.

I don't really see what the big deal is, do you have a reason to think she associates with criminals? We use teenagers all the time and I've never had a problem. I imagine they sometimes come with a friend or boyfriend but we don't have anything to hide, or anything of high value so I really don't care. I'm just happy to have affordable friendly people I can count on.
I'd rather have a neighbor girl come by with her boyfriend than use a professional stranger or put my dog in a kennel.

huh, you know when i first read this i was ... fire her on the spot, I dislike having people in my house and i would be livid to find out other people i didn't kow were over there, visions of teens having sex on my bed or them both playing dress up in my clothes, or who knows what.

but after reading some other posts and really thinking about it. I guess either she does a good job and you trust her or you don't. and part of that is trusting that her family will be keeping track of who she is bringing with her and how long they are gone.

and if there aren't good alternatives, if you don't like the kennel or you don't have another neighbor then i guess you need to decide if keeping her and just stating that you would perfer it was just family with her give you enough peace of mind.

Another thought, pay her and pay her sibling then you can kind of lead them to go with each other instead of a friend.

My daughter pet sits. If she has to go over late at night, her boyfriend accompanies her. I insist she not go alone. If he isn't here, I accompany her. I've never mentioned it to the homeowners and they never asked.
I don't much care if the homeowner has an issue. It's about my daughter's safety. Basically, her boyfriend walks her to the house and opens the door. He stays with her while my daughter does what is required. He waits while she locks up and walks with her to the car.
I think you need to chill a little. It's not like they had a party or anything. He walked her to your house and waited while she fed your animals.
Nothing was missing. Nothing was out of place.

Holy overreaction Batman...

Unless you think her friend is a criminal, I think you are waaaayyyyy over the top on this.

If I were 19, I would bring a friend with me at night. If you are uncomfortable with this, then don't use her, but it's not unreasonable for her to not want to do it alone.

Edit* Well, if you already had it figured out, why did you ask us? All you had to do was tell her that you would be more comfortable if a member of her family accompanied her. End of story.

I think you are WAAAAAAAAAAY over reacting...

ETA: I have been using a daughter of my husband's coworker for 4 years to babysit our 3 children and to housesit/dogsit when we travel. She is also 19 now, almost 20. We live in a very nice home, safe neighborhood, inground pool and hot tub in backyard - when she dogsits, she moves in and sleeps here while we are gone to be with our pets. I have always told her she can have ONE friend over at a time, and a female friend may spend the night once or twice when we're gone for a week. If I trust her enough to watch my kids, dogs, and home, I can trust her not to bring someone I wouldn't approve of in my home...

She probably should have asked out of courtesy, but she probably didn't think too much of it. She's a young woman walking into a dark house that isn't hers...so she may not notice things askew or out of place as a warning that someone has been there. It's unlikely that anything would happen, but I can understand wanting to bring someone with her. It's possible too that her family had other things going on and couldn't go with her. If she is reliable and does a good job, I don't see this being an issue. Her parents knew about it and encouraged it. It's not like she threw a rager while you were gone. I would use her and specify that you understand that she may need an escort, but you'd prefer if family accompanied her.

I would continue to use her and wouldn't have an issue, even at 9pm things can happen. You also don't know if there are reasons in her own life that is making this necessary (and things you really don't need to know about). As long as they are not staying in your home for a long period of time, no problems. I would just mention to her that in the future please have her friend stay outside while she does her job.

I can barely stand to have someone I do know and trust in my house when I'm not home, so I get a big gut reaction to imagining someone bringing a stranger in. I'd hate that soooo much. And yet...you haven't properly dealt with the situation, you're just reacting to it.

It doesn't sound like they were hanging out or having a party at your house, but that he simply walked her over, waited while the dogs did their thing, then they left. Did he even come in?

This 'girl' is an adult. Speak directly to her about your concerns, not her parents. Have you ever told her "Don't let anyone else inside the house?" If this is the only time you've ever had a problem, just talk to her and tell her that you don't want people you do not know inside the house. That should be the end of it.

(Someone simply walking her over and waiting outside should not be a problem, imo.)

I would use her again if this was the only problem. Just talk to her and set your rules. Maybe she'll bail on you if she can't bring someone to feel safe. You're probably lucky to have her and paying less than a service.

To me it's not a big deal, especially if her dad encouraged it.

What is your issue? That the friend is going to steal? That they had sex in your house? That they mistreated your pet? That you feel she "lied" to you by not mentioning that while doing a good job for you she also brought along her friend for 10 min while her evening was interrupted so that she could take care of your pets and still enjoy herself? By doing what you asked her to do and at the same time reassuring her family that she was safe by being accompanied by her friend?

I guess I'm not sure why you object?

If it's that you feel she lied to you, then discuss it with her. If you've known her a long time and feel she is of good moral character, then who cares if her friend is with her? If you think she has poor judgement then find someone else.

We have a pet sitter and I would never expect her to come to MY house alone after dark, I would expect her to be accompanied by a friend. It is just good measure for safety.

I think you are way over thinking this. It is your house, your decision but rest assured, you may not get another sitter if you have such strict rules. You might be better off just boarding your dogs if you don't trust your pet sitter and are not completely concerned with her safety.

ETA: Turn the situation around.... would you allow your 19 yr old to go petsit at someone's house after dark? I think you would also prefer your child to be safe, that's why her parents had someone go with her... Safety!

she caved to her parents' wishes.
she's 19....the dating years.
have you ever directly said she could not bring anyone with her? Specifically an unknown male friend?
& just because you don't know him, how does that make him a bad/undesirable guest....in your eyes?

Not seeing a "foul" here! One of our neighbors cares for our dogs & vice/versa. He's been known to bring random people with him....& we have zero issue. Don't even need to know what's happening, because it's either we trust HIM or we don't. :)

C.:

for me? It sounds like you are over-reacting.

Talk with her first. Set the rules. Ask why she felt unsafe in your home. LISTEN to her.

I don't understand why her dad didn't go with her. But either way - if there were no rules set up before hand, she didn't know she was breaking any rules.

Did she have sex on all your countertops, beds and couch? If not - then you are over reacting.

COMMUNICATE with her. Don't stop using her because you failed to communicate the rules to her. Don't stop using her because she felt unsafe in your home.

Good luck!

I think you need to get a grip. I am sure she never even thought this would be a problem. Was the house a mess, was your jewelry missing? I don't blame her for wanting someone with her. If she was spending the.nighrs at your house and a male was staying over, that would be different. Good God he went with her to let the dog out and you want to fire her. Think about if something happened to her when she was there alone because you were dead set against someone coming with her. You would have to live with this the rest of your life. Be happy you have a responsible person to care for your furry family.

Think of it this way - you found out bc obviously the dad didn't think you'd have an issue with it. I'm sure he's not sending his daughter over to have sex in your house. It was a safety thing. You have trusted her for years with no problems. For years she could have had lots of people over, stolen, had sex all over your house etc. it's a chance we all take if we let someone in our house while we're not there. But you trusted her and her judgement. What's changed so much that you need to fire her? Her dad wanted her to not go alone? I also think you're way overreacting.

I'd talk to her about it first. Let her know that you do not allow other people in your home, so if she is uncomfortable coming alone, you will need to find another dog sitter. It doesn't need to be a big confrontation, just a clarification of your expectations.

It's not the "criminal" aspect that would concern me, it's the "having sex on your couch" aspect. Guess I'm alone here.

Awe mama. I do think you are overreacting. However, I think my husband would have your reaction.

I could understand if they had stuck around, had a party or any other number of things, but to have someone accompany her to your house to help care for your dogs is not hurting anything.

If you trust her enough to allow access to your house while you are gone, then trust her enough to not bring any lowlifes into your house. If she is a good person, then it's safe to assume the people she hangs out with are also. Not perfect people, but over all good people.

As for where you live, that's great that you live in an over all good neighborhood, but wouldn't you feel better that she is taking steps to make sure she is safe. Good forbid 'if' something did happen. Imagine how bad you would feel.

I don't have a problem with her being accompanied by another person at night, however, without addressing the issue, next time you need a sitter simply say, "we don't want any strangers in the house while you're here, okay? Please have your friend wait for you outside."

And leave it at that.

I'd board the dog(s) at a kennel and feel a bit more secure about who's coming and going through my house and possessions.
She wasn't afraid so much as she wanted to play house with her boyfriend.
It doesn't hurt to have a motion activated hidden nanny video recorder in your house when you're not home.
You'd be able to know exactly what (if anything) went on while you were away.

I recently went on vacation and had a 19 year old watch our pets. I encouraged her to come and stay with a few friends. I wanted her to spend the night so that our dogs didn't feel abandoned. I know her siblings came a couple of times and then her boyfriend stayed the rest of the nights. I think a girlfriend of hers came also. I'm not scared of her friends coming into the house because she is a great kid. I trust her judgment. I was very clear with her that there was to be NO DRINKING, but otherwise she was free to make herself at home.

I used to be a dog /house sitter and always stayed with friends (plural) when staying at other homes. I would even have parties. A few friends would come over, we'd play games (cards), have snacks, play with the dogs and then they'd go home and I'd go to bed. If I was scared, a friend would stay at the house with me (usually a male). We weren't doing anything bad, just having good, clean fun.

I was a pet sitter/ house sitter of many years, I would like to point out that if that we're me, I would be highly offended if a family chose to discontinue using me all over bringing another person with me for safety reasons. I used to bring either a friend or my husband with me to jobs that required me to go into their home after dark, or in the later evening. If they don't like that, tough boogies, it's late, I am a woman and I felt safer that way. Don't like it, board your animals in a place that will put your animals in a cage and interact with them a couple times a day! I think u really need to re-evaluate why your really upset. If its the boy thing, than meet him and get over it. Sorry, but I knew a nanny friend of mine that was murdered in her apt after going out to care for her employers house. Let me tell you, it can happen anywhere, to anyone! Unfortunately this world is not a safe place all the time anymore, and that includes even the richest of neighborhoods! My dad always taught me to travel on pairs, even if it seems dumb.

It would depend on whether or not I trusted the girl. If I trusted her, I would probably trust her choice in friends. But she probably should have asked you first.

It's up to you to decide whether you are comfortable with her or not. If not, find someone else. If you choose to use her, talk to her about bringing other people along, or not, then she can decide if she still wants to do it.

Sure, you can still use her but clear the air. Let he know that her Dad told you that she brought someone else into the house and you'd prefer that she didn't. It's summer time so it stays lighter out later ... confirm an evening time with her where she feels comfortable making one last check on the animals for the evening. No big deal, right? Up until now you've been happy with her services, right?

I think her being safe it important, and it's good that her parents know what is going on. I assume you are more worried about the stranger "escort" stealing from you than about the kids having sex or doing something else you don't approve of. With her father aware or how long she's gone, that's not too likely.

She's probably not at your house any longer than necessary. And there's no such thing as a "safe" neighborhood anymore. People leave too many clues to their being away: newspapers pile up (or they tell the newspaper carrier not to deliver - either way, someone knows), they put pictures on Facebook alerting the world to the fact that the house is empty, they put trash out early and the can sits there all week, the lights are off or they are on timers and show a distinct pattern, and so on. Professional thieves are not fooled, and neither are rapists looking for an empty house. Even neighborhood kids know the patterns and use empty houses for parties by sneaking in a back door. Dogs help prevent that, to some degree, but it's not foolproof.

I think, however, she should have told you/asked you. I don't think it matters if it's a male or a female - it's someone you don't know, and that's the issue. I think it would have been better if the parent came with her since apparently you'd have been okay with that since you know the neighbors. If she's good to your dog, it would be good to keep her. What if you ask her to introduce you to the person she'd like to have accompany her? I think you can alert her to potential problems and give her a chance to adjust her behavior. You can get someone new but you will lose the opportunity to teach this girl about a potential problem she hadn't considered, you'll teach her respect for employers, and you'll potentially face the same situation with a new person.

Sounds like you trust the girl. Also sounds like it wasn't her idea to bring the friend, but her parents'. Who was the guy? Her boyfriend?

I understand not wanting a stranger in your home, while you are out of town, etc. But if the family is a straight up family, and this person was close enough that the dad thought of him as a protector for his daughter, I'd guess he probably was harmless enough.

I'd just mention it to the pet sitter, and if she doesn't want to come alone anymore, then she can decline the job. Just let her know that you don't want people you don't know in your home--that her parents or sibs are fine if she feels like she needs accompaniment, but not people YOU don't know.

I'd not be angry with her. I would talk to her about it and see what her take on it is. She is a teen, and it may not even have occurred to her that a stranger (to you) might see being in someone else's home as an opportunity for casing the place for later, or surreptitiously pocketing something small, or even the liability if something were to happen while he was in/on your property.

I would speak with her parents, and tell them your concerns. Obviously this person is a stranger in your home. I agree with you. Just because they trust him doesn't mean you automatically should. Tell the parents that you prefer no one is in your home, that you do not know. Tell them you appreciate that they are concerned for their daughters safety, just like you are. And maybe you can narrow down a better time for her, or have her dad accompany her.

I'm a little surprised by some of the answers as well. Talk to the young lady and ask her about it. Ask who the person was. Ask if you could meet him so that you feel more comfortable with the situation.

If you aren't comfortable, then I would go ahead and find a new pet sitter.

I completely understand your concern about having someone in your home you didn't know about.

Honestly I'd be fine with someone escorting her at night especially if its a friend her whole family knows. Just let her know you don't want anyone INSIDE the house. Or you can find someone else last minute

My reaction would be the same as yours - if I don't know the person and/or give approval, they are not allowed in the house.

My suggestion is to go over the rules with her about what is allowed, and mention specifically that no one other than her is allowed in the house. If she wants to have someone walk her over and back and wait outside, that is no problem, but they are not allowed inside, not even to "just go to the bathroom" or something.

And I do not think it at all unreasonable to have her let the dog out at 9 pm... :) We ask the same of our dog sitter, too.

I don't understand what that problem is about unless there were things missing or they let everyone else know you were away. We had a young man watch our dog once (friends of our son and I knew the parents!) and they had A PARTY. Some kids wrote on furniture, someone threw up on the garage door (how I don't know) and although the dog was fine, I was pretty upset. I think after that we started taking our dog to a local place to watch her. Bringing one person along shouldn't be a problems unless it is accompanied by other problems. Since I don't know if something else happened I would say continue to use her. I get afraid to go into my own house sometimes!

I didn't read all the responses but I probably would not rehire her either. If I ask someone to come to my house, I expect it to be just that person and not anyone else. It is about trust and regardless of her excuse, you feel like that was broken. To me, it's not worth it to try and figure this one out because you will always have that doubt now. And anyway, if Dad was worried about his daughter, why wouldn't he just go?!?!?