Dog Just Died,how Can I Make It Easier for My 6 Year Old???

Without making any assumptions about your religious preference, I would recommend the movie "All Dogs go to Heaven". It is an excellent one and helped my nephew (5)greatly with his loss of a dog. A special ceremony might be nice for her too. Good luck!

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I know how you feel as I had to let my dog go last year at 16 years of age. I also had her since she was 5 weeks old. She was a wonderful dog and I still miss her. I think this is a good chance to teach you daughter about this part of life. To some it may seem morbid but I don't think so. Death is a part of life and you never know when you will be touched by it. As someone who lost her Father at 12 years old I can say you never know when death will affect your family. Explain to your daughter that you loved your pet and that she can still talk to him as he is a doggie angle as you already told her. Maybe place a sweet picture of the 2 of them in her room. Tell her it is OK to be sad and to cry and that when we have to say goodbye to someone we love it does make our hearts hurt. You can also tell her to think about fun times with him and try to remember those. She could even draw some pictures of herself & him which can be therapeutic also. I think it is important to be honest and validate their feelings and let them know they can always talk about him to you anytime they want to. I am sorry for your loss.

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I can only imagine the way you are hurting right now. Not only for Gizzy but from seeing our childrens sadness.
Yes, you should make her parte of a ceremony for Gizzy. You can all sit together and say how he was so special for you and your 6 year old can make a sign with the dogs name to put on the box (urn?)and maybe some flowers. Tell her Gizzy no longer hurts and he will watch over her from doggie heaven.

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Hi, S.. Well, it had to happen some time...your daughter's first experience with death. It sounds like you are handling it very well; rest assured, there is no easy way for a 6-year-old to deal with the death of a pet or a human loved one.

A ceremony for Gizzi would be awesome! Make sure Romina writes or makes up most of it. That will give her an excellent way to express her feelings and try to process some of it. Also, get her to draw and paint a lot in the meantime. Children express their feelings through art, and they work out their conflicts that way, too. Maybe you can sit with her and draw or paint, too, and express how you felt about Gizzi, and that will give you two some good bonding time as well.

I think it's very important that at this time, when Romina has lost one loved one, Gizzi, that she knows the rest of her family bonds are just as strong if not stronger. Kids do not distinguish between their love for humans, their love for pets, and their love for toys, at this age. Love is just love to them; whatever is cherished and familiar is part of their family life, so make sure she knows that the family is just as strong now as when Gizzi was with you. Knowing that she has a little dog angel with little hairy wings will be some comfort to her.

And be patient. It's going to take Romina some time to get through this. Be good to yourself, too: you've lost an old friend as well.

Peace,
Syl

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Hi S.,

We just put our 17 year old dog down last month so I understand how you and your family are feeling. I am so sorry. My son was also very upset. He has never known our home without our dog. This affects our children on so many levels: personally, spiritually, emotionally...It's perhaps their first awareness of death as well as the realization of the finality of death. It can also bring up fears of their own death or of the death of others that they love. We, as parents, have to help them through their first experiences of death in a healthy manner by letting them know that it's okay to grieve and it's okay for them to grieve in their own way. I think ceremonies are great ways to help our children grieve healthfully. Whatever you do, don't sweep death under the rug. It's healthy to look at it, be scared of it, acknowledge it, feel it, etc.. Sweeping it under the rug only teaches your children to ignore their pain. Oh, and it's perfectly fine for your children to see you upset over your beloved dog's death. You are their role model and denying your pain in front of them teaches them to deny theirs. You are teaching them to grieve by example and being strong for your daughters means letting them know that you have feelings and aren't afraid to express them. I hope your heart and your daughter's hearts heal soon.

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There's nothing I can add to the wonderful advice you received here, but I still wanted to extend my sincerest sympathy to you and your family. Him being with you since you were a young teen, I can only imagine how your heart must be breaking. I'm so sorry for the pain you all must be experiencing now and wish you all the best as your hearts begin to heal.

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A ceremony sounds good, but I had to put my 18 year old dog to sleep and I had a hard time with it. Did you think of getting a dog from a shelter and telling your daughter that this will be hers?

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I so feel for you...when we lost our beloved Duke, it was hard on our 4 year old son. This 100 pound yellow lab had slept under his crib from the day he came home from the hospital! When we got his ashes, my husband went and purchased an ornamental tree. We made a "memory box" with pictures, a dog bone, etc. and buried the ashes and box under the tree. Every time it blooms my son, now 7, says Duke is smiling at us.

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Let her do like you said with the ashes....then get her a new puppy not to replace be to make the grieving not so hard for her.

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First of all, my sympathies to you and your family. I know how hard it is to lose a pet. They really are a member of your family.
I'm a retired elem. teacher and over 35 yrs. I had many students come to school distraught over the loss of a pet. I would recommend going to a book store or library and getting The Tenth Good Thing About Barney, by Judith Viorst. It's for children and is about a child who has a cat die. It's beautifully written and definitely a book that a young child can relate to. Another thing you can do is make a scrapbook filled with pictures of the girls with the dog. You can also have your six year old write down things she loved about Gizzi and funny things she remembers. It may also help to go to the animal shelter and let her donate food to some animals that are without homes.
I'm so sorry for the pain you are experiencing right now.
Sandi

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I'm so sorry. I dread the day (one day hopefully far, far, far, in the future) when we will have to deal with this. Our kids will be older, but they will have raised her from a puppy themselves.. we got her when our daughter was not quite 3, and she will have few if any childhood memories that DON'T include Pogo.

I think doing a ceremony is a great idea. It is part of the grieving process and will help you all. Maybe she could write down (or you could help her) some feelings about how much she loved him- like a letter to him - and let her put it with his remains. If you bury him, let her bury the letter with him. If you cremate, burn the letter and let the smoke "go to him". Do you have a photo (maybe of the two of them together?) that you can frame and let her keep in her room? If you are not ready for a new puppy right away, maybe you could take her shopping for a stuffed one? Something soft and fluffy that she can sleep with and hug when she is sad thinking about Gizzi. She might choose something that looks like him, she might not.
Whenever you are ready, a new puppy from the pound or pet rescue would be good. You can talk to your daughter about how Gizzi would have wanted to help another pup to have a good home (and you have the BEST home and he loved being with you), and even though he can't be there with her now, he would still want your daughter to have a friend to talk to and play with and love. That it would make him happy to know that she had a good friend.
It is difficult I know. I lost many pets when I was a young girl. Cats, dogs, birds... It is part of life. I hope you are taking care of yourself and allowing yourself to grieve as well. It probably wouldn't hurt to let your child see you grieving, so she understands that it is normal, but that life goes on. Time will help the most.

God bless you.

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I am so sorry for you and your family! We lost our dogs almost two years ago.
Yes I think doind a service and letting your daughter be a part of it is an excellent idea. Our 5 year old (at the time- now 7) was a wreck after the dogs died, but we let him watch them be buried and we said prayers over them. He was much better after the service. So, I think that letting her be a part is a great way to say good-bye to her friend.

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