Dog for Toddler?

Updated on January 27, 2010
P.C. asks from Portland, OR
25 answers

I am a single dad, who has his beloved son (almost 2.5 years of age) with him every other weekend, Friday night through Sunday evening. I also see him one weekday evening each week, sometimes two.

I need folks' thoughts about the wisdom of getting a dog at this point.

I would like to get an adult small to medium sized dog, for myself and my son.

I have a large house with a yard. I can take the dog to work. I have regular work hours, in an office nearby.

I plan to make sure that my son and the dog meet first, before I consider getting the dog. And I plan to get a dog, if I get one, with a history of being good with toddlers.

Is there any particular reason why it is not a good idea to bring a dog into our lives at this point?

Thanks.

best,
P. and son

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So What Happened?

I appreciate all of the comments.

I plan to look into the Oregon Humane Society, or maybe petfinder. com.

The obedience class is a good idea.

Sorry, no pit bulls, despite the one recommendation. I do not trust those animals.

Thanks again.

best,
P.

Featured Answers

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S.S.

answers from Dallas on

Great idea! My children had an Austrailian Shepherd growing up. We rescued her at 3 months old, when my daughter was 3 months old and my son 19 months old. My daughter recently rescued another Aussie so her children have a playmate. Highly recommend the breed, smart, affectionate, protective, medium-size.

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B.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

My sons are 3.5 and 1. We just got a boxer mix and she's great with the kids. I think it's great for kids to grow up with dogs as I have my whole life. I think you should go for it!

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R.W.

answers from Portland on

Look into a Havanese. Great with kids. Can recommend a breeder if interested. We got a havanese for our girls, and it has worked out great, the dog is wonderful with our girls.

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A.R.

answers from Boise on

Like the others have said, make sure the dog is good with kids. You might also consider doing some obedience training with the dog AND your son - that way the dog better understands how he "ranks" in the family pack relative to your son. We have a dog and a 4.5 year old and an 8 month old, and the kids love the dog and the dog loves the kids (and the dog even came first). Pets can be a great way to teach kids about sharing, caring and responsibility.

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S.S.

answers from Houston on

Kids need dogs to love and play with. If your wanting a puppy then research the breeds before choosing. I would recomend not getting a small breed because the puppy will be small and could get hurt with a 2 1/2 year old carrying it around and dropping it.
If your wanting a rescue dog go to a rescue that getts to know the dogs before adopting out. They will know before hand what dog has the right temperment for a young child.

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K.L.

answers from Des Moines on

I see no problem getting your little guy a dog! My parents got me a puppy when I was 2 and it was great! My first memory is picking out that dog! We would've gotten one for our daughter around that age, but we were in an apartment and didn't want one until we had a house. We have had our beagle for almost 2 years now and it was the best decision! She is the sweetest dog! I must suggest you think about getting a beagle. My first puppy was part beagle and now we have this one...they are great with kids and are just great dogs!!

Have fun!! Kim

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W.C.

answers from Seattle on

Sounds like you have good criteria for choosing a dog. Have you and your son spent any time with a dog? Was he afraid or confident? That is a question you need to ask.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

I have a 4 and 6 year old, and have had our dog for 2 years. The boys love the dog and the dog loves them! I have a small breed dog, a Jack Russel, and the small breeds do tend to be nippy, so if you go that route know it will be a discipline issue. My family back home has labs, and what one poster said is a lie. Labs are the best family pets because not only are they gentle, it is in their breeding never to bite down (it will damage the meat of the birds). Just be sure whatever animal you get you "kid test" it first. Play a little rough with it, gently tug his ears and tail to see what kind of reaction you get, and before you let your son around him "feed test" him. A child will sometimes reach at a dogs bowl not knowing any better, and well trained dog will not react and will respect the masters right to inspect his food.

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V.T.

answers from Dallas on

I can't think of a reason not to bring a dog into your lives as long as you bring the right type of dog. Do some research on various breeds and their tempers. We love our pug. He was 2 1/2 when we brought our daughter home from the hospital and he has been by her side ever since. He plays with her and protects her. More importantly, when she is tugging his ears and poking at his face, he does nothing. He hasn't snapped at her or made any aggressive moves towards her.

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V.G.

answers from Seattle on

I think it is probably a good idea for you and your son to have a dog if you have a committment to keep the dog as a member of the family for the next 15+ years to the end of its life.

Children who are raised around dogs are less likely to be fearful of them. If taught properly, by your example, they learn responsibility by seeing that companion animals must be cared for daily, exercised and properly trained. They can also learn kindness and compassion for others.

Children can also be taught to be uncaring and irresponsible if they are shown by example that a pet is disposable when they become bored with it or it becomes "inconvenient" instead of a member of the family.

I agree with looking at adult dogs. You might want to look at ones at rescue organizations or a shelter dog that is staying in a foster home. These dogs will have been observed by experienced people in a home situation and tested to give you a better idea of whether or not the dog is "kid friendly".

I don't don't know what you consider "small to medium" sized, but I would lean more toward the medium size. (which means 30-50 pounds to me) A little larger size prevents the child from being able to pick up the dog which makes the dog more durable and less likely to be injured by a child. Of course, dogs are more likely to bite or nip if they are frightened or hurt. Of course dogs each have their own personality, but in my experience, (in general) many of the smaller dog breeds are less tolerant of children.

Good luck!

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T.H.

answers from Seattle on

It's a great idea! He'll learn to respect animals and not be afraid of them. By the way I've seen all of your previous posts and I commend you. It's great that you are reaching out to others to make sure you are doing the right things for your son. Keep up the good work!

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S.H.

answers from Huntsville on

I don't see any reason not to get one. We got one for my daughter when she was about 6 months old! My parents had 4 dogs when she was born, and we stayed at their house straight from the hospital. So she LOVES dogs now! Her first word after mama & dada was dog!

She is 4 now, and like the previous poster said, she loves to lead him around the house on a leash! We have to be careful that she doesn't leave him tied up somewhere!

And I agree, take your son with you to pick out the dog. Make sure you find one that is happy around your son. One that is not going to growl when hugged and kissed and loved on!

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A.H.

answers from New York on

just make sure the dog is good with kids.. talk to the people you are buying the dog from.. a rescue group can help you out.. don't buy a really old dog.. but one that is about 1 year or even 6 months old.. so the dog can get used to your son. one that is house trained is a plus. we got our dog at 6 months old.. someone brought it back because it shed a lot.. our dog willow was house trained and loved kids.. so it was a great fit into our household.. she is wonderful and the kids love her.. and she loves them. good luck and go for it

C.S.

answers from Medford on

It sounds to me like you have your schedule pretty set. And from what I remember from past posts from you, you are a very devoted and loving father who only wants the best for your son. That said, i think that a good ol lovable family type dog would be great! I am a true blooded dog lover and I have had dogs my entire life. My first born child is a Golden retriever. He has always been such a blessing to our family and our kids would be lost without him.
Just think about all the wonderful things you three could do together, going to the park, palying fetch, camping...the list goes on...
The one question I first thought was "are you willing to care for and love the pet even when your son is away?" I wouldnt suggest getting a dog just for your son as he is not with you all the time, however from what you said about being able to take him to work with you, I am assuming that you want a dog as much for yourself as for your son.
Just dont get a vicious type breed...

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M.S.

answers from Portland on

As long as you understand the commitment involved even when your son is not with you, it is a great idea!

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M.L.

answers from Seattle on

If you're prepared to do ALL the care, go for it! We have a 75 lb siberian shepard mix who's great with our 2.5 year old and baby.

My suggestion is that you figure out what breed and a particular dog you think is right. Then let your son and the dog meet without other dogs around. Involve your son in any training that you plan to do so that the dog sees your son as higher in the heirarchy. It's really important that the dog see you and your son as it's "pack" but that the dog is at the bottom of the pack. Since your son is in and out of the house, that might be a challenge. Find a good trainer (not in a pet store) and work with them.

For breeds, labs and retrievers are great. Shepards sometimes nip at heels (it's how they herd). Poodles don't do well with kids. My grandma's sheltie bit me unprovoked so I wouldn't get a sheltie with kids.

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L.L.

answers from Seattle on

This seems like it would be a fine age to get a dog. I would tell you to really do your research to find the best kind of dog for your situation. With a toddler, I would stay away from herding breed dogs (I love herding breeds and own a cattle dog myself, but they are not great dogs to have around toddlers) as they frequently will try to herd your child and that can ultimately injure your child. I would also stay away from labs. They have a false reputation as great family dogs(Unfortunantly they were great family dogs until recently when they have been overbred by backyard breeders. This happens to many great breeds that become popular). The reality is that they bite more humans than any other breed nation wide. As a breed, they are far more aggressive towards humans than pits (who are very animal aggressive, but not human aggressive unless they are specifically trained to be so). My point being, there are many rumors out there that falsely tipify breeds and can mislead you. I would look into reputable resources like the AKC (american kennel club) to find breed info, or speak with your veterinarian for good local resources.

Ultimately, I would choose a dog between ages 2-3 years and make sure it is spayed or neutered. This means the dog will be young enough to adapt well to your home and your child will be older when the dog reaches its peak of aggression (peak aggression in dogs is around age 6-7 years. This is when the dog would strive to become leader of his pack, and will be most likely to attempt to assert himself over other family members). Spay/neuter will also reduce aggression and tendency to roam. I would also look for a dog with both a history of doing well with children AND with other dogs. What can start out as other dog agression can become child directed aggression as the dog matures. What ever breed you decide on, I would look for a mixed breed dog that your breed of choice is one of the parents. The reason is because mix breed dogs are healthier and have less tendency toward behavior issues than pure breed dogs regardsless of breed.

Good luck and happy dog searching!!!!

Lucy

PS - Just so you know, this is not just random advice. This is what vets that I work with recommend to parents asking the same questions you are asking

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C.S.

answers from Seattle on

I wanted to offer a perspective I didn't read in the other responses. My parents were divorced and my dog lived with my dad, I went to my dad's part of the time, so needed to leave them both when I was with my mom. Will it be difficult on your son to leave both you and his dog when he goes back to his mother's? Also, what does his mother think about this? One possible thought could be that you're trying to make your house more fun than hers by getting him a dog. Just a thought.

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S.M.

answers from Spokane on

I love that you are giving this so much thought, both for the well-being of your son, and of the dog. I think getting a dog is great idea, you have the space for a dog, time for a dog and your son will love the dog I am sure. At 2.5 years, your son might be a little wary of the dog at first, but this will pass and they will grow to be good friends. Make sure you teach the dog, that your son comes first...that you won't take any nipping, or jumping at all from the him or her! (and if you get a puppy it is highly likely that a nip or two will occur...so discipline for the dog is a must). Dogs are such wonderful friends, and children love them so much. We have two 100 pound chocolate labs, and they are the sweetest dogs - they put up with everything the kids do - and they are such friends to us all.
Good luck,
Stephanie

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D.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

We had the dog before the kids (and other than a few separation anxiety issues since we had the kids), they're great buddies.

Animals are great for families. I think as a single Dad, the dog would give you a lot of companionship when you don't have your son, and I think it would be great for you and your son to do things together with the dog when he's there.

I'd seek a breed that is known to be good with kids - though, like people, different dogs have different personalities. I'd also take the dog to a training class (with your son if possible) once you choose one so you can establish dominance/submission.

We had to consult with an animal behavioralist when our our dog started her separation anxiety issues.

The other consideration is the kind of breed. I, personally, am not a fan of pedigree dogs because of the risk of expressing recessed genes. From a health standpoint, it's usually less likely to have genetic issues with a mixed breed or mut. That's just my opinion, though.

Good luck!

D.D.

answers from New York on

No there's no reason not to have a dog in your situation. Just make sure that you choose one with your son so that you can see how the dog reacts to him and how he treats the dog. My grandkids are ages 3-7 and my dog loves it when the kids come to visit. The 3 yr old loved to put him on the leash and walk him around the inside of the house. Dog loves the additional attention and and kids love the affection that can only come from dog kisses.

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D.B.

answers from Seattle on

Hi Paul,
It certainly sounds like you have plenty of time and space to give a pup, and the fact that you can take your dog to work is outstanding! Here are some thoughts. 1. Do your research well, and gain good knowledge of breed characteristics, energy levels, and general care issues. 2. Have a training plan in place BEFORE you get the dog - any dog is only as good as their owner has trained them, and many folks just "never get around" to formal obedience work and then wonder why fido makes up his own undesirable rules. 3. Remember, remember, remember that even the sweetest most even tempered dog WILL bite if pushed far enough or hurt - you will need (in fairness to the dog) to set rules and limitations for your child, which is often quite difficult with a toddler. In my nine years of animal shelter work and many years of private practice veterinary before that I have met that "sweet dog" who bit a child when pushed to far/hurt, many, many times. 4. Also remember that shelters are full of dogs that were acquired "for the kids" - this dog will be 100% your responsibility. 5. Figure out first (before getting the dog) if you are that guy who can commit to doing the necessary work to have a great dog - you will get out of your dog what you put in :)
Best Regards,
D.

K.I.

answers from Spokane on

I am a dog person so I feel you!

I would say 2 things...

Take your son with you when you try to pick one out, so you can make sure they get along...

And be mindful of the fact that dogs are sometimes rough...my big dog just pushed my almost 2yr old into the wall and broke her nose...the dog was just trying to play with his toy, flipping it up in the air and catching it...but these things do happen and its nobody's fault...just something to think about...I don't worry too much about my 4 and 6 yr olds, they are bigger and can tell the dog to watch out or move.

Karma

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K.S.

answers from Dallas on

Hi Paul,
Just wanted to add my 2 cents...you may have already gotten a dog, but if you're looking for a specific breed, Cavalier King Charles Spaniels are the best dogs on earth and ours loooooove our little girls. And some form of obedience training will make life so much easier and make your dog much more enjoyable.
Best wishes!
K.

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T.A.

answers from Seattle on

Hi Paul,
I am late to the conversation, so didn't read the other responses (can't figure out how to do so in this new format)
Wow. You have the *perfect* life to make a dog happy!!! And a happy dog is a great companion - for you and your son!
I saw a great book at a library but I don't remember the title. It was about a little boy and his dog. They had two homes b/c of divorced parents. The story was about how much the little boy loved having his dog with him no matter where he slept.
Just wanted to share that - not totally sure why since obviously your dog will live at your house. But did think that it might be worth thinking about how you and his mom will handle it if your son wants to bring the dog to his mom's house.
Congratulations! Nothing better than having a dog in one's life!!! :)
I have to add that we just lost our beloved 13 year old dog. We have a 2 year old daughter - it was amazing to see them together! When our baby was born, the dog took on such responsibility for the baby! She loved her, was gentle and attentive, playful and always concerned when the baby/toddler was unhappy. They loved to make each other laugh.
That said, they were never left alone together - any dog, any kid, any time - I felt it important to protect both of them from the other's more base impulses.
Our dog was a pit bull. I don't recommend getting one unless you are really familiar with the breed, public attitudes, and training. They are super smart, ridiculously loyal and loving to their people. They used to be the dogs of the upper class (google photos of Helen Keller's dogs, or the Roosevelts), prized as ideal family pets. Our dog never showed any violent tendencies. Had a piece of her ear bitten off by an exuberant lab puppy and didn't retaliate!
Sorry I am going on and on. I love dogs, and love pitties. Can't help but provide my 2 cents. AND I absolutely agree that you shouldn't have one!
I wish you and your son many years of wiggles, wags and licks!
T.

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