Does This Bug You?

Updated on February 01, 2011
M.!. asks from Boulder, CO
25 answers

When you see a girl and from behind can look about 20 and then turns around and is 12 or 14? I have 2 young daughters and I hope this will not happen to them. It just bugs me that they are dressing way beyond their age. Is this just common - b/c we see it all the time at the stores or the mall.

And for moms wth teens - are you the ones buying them these clothes or do they get to choose their clothes? (I am only asking a question not judging)

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

I want to know why it is so hard to find boots and sandals for my 5 year old that don't have heels. Also when I'm at Kohl's and I walk past the girls underwear section why do little girls need padded bras?

8 moms found this helpful
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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I have 3 boys, so I don't spend much time in the girls department. However, I remember a few years ago, Abercrombie & Fitch sold thong underwear in little girl sizes. Sad.

5 moms found this helpful
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T.B.

answers from Miami on

When a young girl is dressed inappropriately, yes, I do blame the parents for it. It is the parents who are condoning it. My young daughters are NOT allowed to wear short skirts and if I wanted them to wear them, I would buy them, which I do not. I see it all the time too. I think it's very sad. Overboard with the make-up too. Trying to look older so soon is so sad because it attracts the wrong kind of attention.

5 moms found this helpful

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W.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Oh man does it bother me.

Kids are subjected to all this grown up stuff at way too early an age. It is doing nothning positive for them. My goodness, look at MTV. In our youth, MTV was for discovering new and exciting music. Now .. now it's full of all sorts of HORRIBLE reality shows that out kids watch and learn from.

My goodness, what positive role models are there for kids these days? What is now perceived as "cool" is horrible in my opinion.

I have a girlfriend with a 3 year old that she teaches sexy dances to!! I am by no means a prude, but we are setting these kids up for failure and unhappiness. We have to do a better job for them.

7 moms found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I totally agree with Julie F....what these little girls and their mommies fail to realize is that as much as the young boys they are dressing for may check them out it is the older men that are REALLY looking. And sadly this starts at an extremely young age with some men. So the mommies who think its oh so cute dressing their little darlings in hot pants and belly shirts should know that pretty much every time they are out at least one perv is 'nociticing' them. And if I were a mom of a little girl this would greatly concern me.

6 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

yeah, i have issues with the early sexualization of young girls. i see now there's another <gag> reality show coming on about pageant kids.
i do think girls should have a great deal of latitude in what they choose to wear. but families should be having thoughtful discussions about the effects of blatant over-sexualizing, both in relation to the girls in question and to women in our society at large. then at least the girls are making choices from a place of knowledge not just 'do i look hot?'
khairete
S.

5 moms found this helpful

E.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

I find them to be helpful lessons for my sons. As in, "See her? That is not the kind of girl I ever want to see you hanging out with. There is only one thing boys want from a girl like that I sure hope you are not that kind of boy. Find a girl that is carrying a book -- Not one wearing clothes like that."

5 moms found this helpful
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M.E.

answers from Chicago on

Just as bad when you see a girl from behind and they look 20, and then turn around to see they are 50! :) Seriously, I don't know what these parents are thinking, but it bothers me as well. My daughter is only 6 and I even see things on girls her age that are inappropriate.

4 moms found this helpful

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

I consider myself blessed that my 9 yr old has NO interest in all the 'girly' stuff. She prefers her jeans and sneakers, no interest in makeup or fancy hair stuff (just a plain ponytail is what she likes), rarely paints her nails, etc.

I learned when she was about 3, that the stores sell TONS of clothing WAY too "mature" for the kids they are designed to fit. I hate it. And WHY does everything for a 4-14 yr old have to have a PEACE SIGN on it?
ug.

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J.F.

answers from Tallahassee on

Yes, it bugs me. My daughter is only 4 1/2 but I dread having to deal with this. Last summer I saw two young girls, probably about 12 years old, and they were wearing super short shorts and I saw a couple of grown men, in their 30's or 40's, ogling these young girls from behind. It was so disgusting and it made me sick to my stomach. I never want a grown man looking at my little girl like that and I won't buy her clothes that I feel are inappropriate. I've been out shopping for clothes before and some of the underwear for young girls is disturbing. Do 10 year olds really need to wear thongs?

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

Of course it bothers me! I wish parents had more options in regard to dressing kids--- it seems the inexpensive clothing is designed to make young women 'look' cheap. I do think parents can limit this, if they are willing for their daughters to sometimes be upset with them--which is kind of the job of the parent, in my opinion. But it's difficult, too, because there's a lot of trash that's being marketed to girls as "fashion".

It also has a LOT to do with how the person comports themselves-- and I think this applies to both genders. Personally, I find that whole male "I am entitled to show off my underwear to everyone" thing rather appalling. I think it projects poorly on the level of ability of the person: If I were looking to hire a teen for a business I was running, I'd choose the one who knows how to operate a belt!

3 moms found this helpful
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M.G.

answers from Little Rock on

yes it is common, kids these days are much "older" than they really are. The parenting is where it really counts. I don't see any problem with kids that "look" or "act" older than they really are as long as they have good supporting parents that mind limitations.

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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

It really bugs me to no end. I have a 15 yo and a 13 yo. Thank goodness my 15 yo has no clue how pretty she really is and wears jeans, oversized tees and her sports hoodies.
My 13 yo is a little fashionista but my hubby has final say. I let him say yay or nay, it gets me off the hook . And she hangs onto his every word so she is dressed in some of the "stuff" but with longsleeved blouses and leggings underneath.
We allow no ripped, faded, or trampy stuff, she likes the ruffles, sparkles, and frufru.
Mine also do not wear makeup, my 13 yo hasn't asked and tomboy whines if I tell her it might look nice if she straightened her hair or wore some lipgloss.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

It really depends on the child and the parents... and their friends.
Not all kids, do this, or are like that.

But when they become Tweens or Teens... their dressing 'style' really changes.

I have seen, even really young kids, younger than that, dressy real skanky. And some that dress their age.
It really depends.

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

I was 5'9 and a c cup at 12. (I was 6'1 & a dd cup by 14) .People kept mistaking me for a college student when I was in the 6th grade. Jeans & sneakers & hoodies. My dad stalked around base half in a state of constant coronary when I was in the 6th grade, since 20+ year old sailors were asking me out at least once a week. It's the only time in my life he's been grateful I'm a tomboy, and he SERIOUSLY considered spreading a rumor that I was a lesbian (come to find as an adult). The one time I was going to wear a dress out he sent me back to my room to change into pants.

I agree... I think a LOT of it has to do with the fact that "feminine" clothes are sexy, period. In order to be considered "successful" in our society a woman has to be attractive. Wether those clothes are $500 khakis and a structured top, or $10 skirts and tanks. BUT a lot also has to do with body shape. T&A... when we get those at puberty, it takes us turning around and people seeing our faces / hearing our voices to realize how young we really are.

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K.M.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I agree with you and everyone else here: it's inappropriate and sad that girls try to grow up so fast. It's always been that way, though. Just nowadays there's a lot more, well, slutty-looking stuff available, and current fashion trends encourage girls to wear it.

My SIL recently got married. When my husband and I showed up for the wedding, there was a girl there in a skimpy, strapless mini-dress and super high heels (that she was having trouble walking in). My husband saw her from the back, and leaned over to me and said, "Who's the slut?" and I said, "Your niece." But I'm sure she didn't think she looked slutty. She probably thought she looked "hot."

Society puts up with it, too: when I was in school, the skirt hem had to touch the knee. Now it can't be any shorter than a girl's fingertips when she puts her hands by her side. How sad.

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J.O.

answers from Cincinnati on

Yes it bothers me...I am 26 and when I find out (usually when they open their mouth) that they are 10 plus years younger than me I can't believe it. Growing up I can only remember 1 or 2 girls looking way older then they were and I think it has a lot to do with how "SEXY" they dress these days...it amazes me. My parents were never strict about what I wore but nor would I wear what some of the teenage girls wear today. WOW...it's amazing I feel sometimes like girls are being rushed these days to grow up!

3 moms found this helpful

M.H.

answers from Raleigh on

I am with you! It is horrifying to see these young girls trying to look like they are 20 plus years old. Nothing irks me more than seeing a little girl (i.e. under 12) in a triangle top bathing suit. What exactly can she put in that thing to keep it up? What ever happened to wearing clothes that look nice on your body and are appropriate for your age? I am currently pregnant with number 2, and I all ready told my hubby that if it's a girl, she's in for a rude awakening if she ever thinks her body will be in skimpy tops, short skirts, etc. Glad to know I'm not the only one!

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L.L.

answers from Topeka on

Shopping for my girls is hard enough without making them look like teenagers.They are far from it..Some girls just aren't guided on how to dress,wear makeup,jewerly etc.That is where self expression comes in.It doesn't bother me at all why would it be my buisness i'm not going to walk over & tell them what I think they look like.

2 moms found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

My 16 yr old buys most of her clothes with the money she makes from babysitting and working for us at our company. We sometimes chip in to help her out.... I tend to purchase her basics such as bras and panties which are all VS. I guess she pays for about 70% of her clothing and I pay for the rest.

She is a little fashonista and she makes good choices. She is into some of the pricier things. I only bought 1 pair of very pricey jeans... she has to pay for any other pair at that price. She buys most everything from Hollister, Abercrombie, Victoria's Secret, and MetroPark for Rock Revival jeans. She is always well coordinated and put together. She loves heels and DSW shoe warehouse. She does look like she is 18 and she loves that.

Some of her skirts or dresses are a little short, no shorter than anyone else, she is just a bit taller so she has to purchase accordingly. She wears her cheer spandex boy shorts under all skirts/dresses.

She is a good kid with good grades and I pick my battles. We have very few battles on clothing.

AND NO she is NOT ghetto or whorish. She actually has a classy look about her because we have class. She likes classic style clothing.

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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

I know!!!! So worried as kids are pushed to grow up way too fast!!! I know my baby girl will grow up but trying to take one day at a time :)

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T.C.

answers from Columbus on

It does bug me. A lot. Ever gone in Justice? They have items in there that are WAY too grown for anyone still in a 4-14 size range. Then there is the media influence. The kids on Nick and Disney, MTV, BET and music videos have a strong impact on fashion trends.

I have a son, but my sisters have girls. All of them take a really fun and interactive approach to fashion and makeup. All of them love shopping with their moms because they try on clothes and "teach" them how to dress, and still have style without looking trashy, and to pick out clothes that look good for their body types(Everything is NOT for every woman). All about teaching them how to carry themselves like a young lady. Now when they buy their own clothes they are mindful of how they look. All of them have really nice style. All of them still want to wear super short shorts.

I have a 9 year old niece who wants short tops and tight jeans. At SEVEN, she snuck a tank top (usually worn under something) and a skirt to school and changed. (She paid the price for that). She comes from a very conservative family, in a very nice area and school. But she LOVES Hanna Montana....and that's what she wears. She is VERY girly. Wants to wear a skirt everyday with her hair down and her nails painted and some lip gloss. (Not what she gets to do, but begs for it everyday) She's always loved to play in her mommy's makeup. I told her mom she is going to give them the blues.

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D.K.

answers from Indianapolis on

You're NOT alone. This bugs me, too! Kids need to be kids while they can. I DO think that this is a combination of things. Some parents allow it and encourage it, I know of others who literally change clothes at school because they were not allowed out of the house with what they wanted to wear.

I think you need to allow kids to have SOME choice in making clothing decisions. Otherwise, you'll end up having to put things out for them when they are in junior high because they don't know HOW to put things together, colors, styles, etc.

I think you have to talk with kids about what is appropriate, inappropriate, etc REGARDLESS of what everyone else is doing. You have to encourage kids to think outside the box and develop their own personality NOT pack mentality.

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C.S.

answers from Dayton on

The worst are those shorts/pants with stuff written on the butt. Do I really need to be coaxed into looking at girls' butts? HATE IT.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.M.

answers from Cincinnati on

Yes, it is very disturbing that young girls are dressing so provocatively and beyond their age. What worse is that that stores and society seem to be encouraging it. While it is definitely more of an issue with girls clothing, it is happening with boys clothing too. They are designing kids clothing to look like teen/adult clothing. Last year when my son switched from toddler sizes to boys sizes, I got a shock as to how much looked like it was for a teenager. Especially some of the t-shirts, which definitely were not appropriate for a then 3 year old.

1 mom found this helpful
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