41 answers

Does Family That Doesnt Live with You Have a Key to Your Home?

Several members of both my husbands family & my family used to have keys to our front door. Before we had kids we traveled a lot and often asked family to babysit our dogs, they didnt do well at kennels. Never really bothered me that several people who did not live in our home had keys. Once our twins were born i noticed that some family members started using their key in lieu of knocking/or ringing the doorbell. On more than one occasion i was embrassed when someone walked in while i was topless breastfeeding. Call me silly but it made me uncomfortable to share my breasts with my parents-in-law. There were several conversations with the offenders about knocking and waiting to be let in, but it fell on deaf ears. They started knocking as they were letting themselves in. We needed to buy a security door and when we purchased the lock for that decided to change all the door locks. We decided that the likely hood of us going any where anytime soon is none so we did not make any extra keys for anyone. Some family members havent even noticed the locks are differant. Others are upset that they dont have a key. I dont want to give them one until im sure they can respect us enough to knock and wait to be asked in. So long story short... do you have family that has a key to use for your home? If so do they use it everytime they come over? Or do they knock first? I know some people prefer family to just walk in, but i do not. Thanks i appericate whatever it is you have to say!

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So What Happened?™

Thanks so much! I wasnt sure if i was the only one out there that was house key stingy. Our plan for any future trips we may take is to loan one of our keys and than ask for it back. We also had to change the alarm code just in case. There was an incident involving one of the offenders right before we changed the locks. She let herself in thinking i was home and i was not. She didnt know the alarm code, and set off the alarm, and the police responded. I had hoped that would have cured her but nope she kept letting herself in.

Featured Answers

You have changed the lock. Now - don't give out a key. Really and truly. They are upset because they still want to let themselves in.

When they ask for one, say "I'm tired of people walking in on my bare breasts. No more keys." And stay firm.

No one has ever had a key to my place. I walk around half-naked too much when I'm alone in my house to allow that!

D.

6 moms found this helpful

Soon enough you will have to put a chain or something like that , at the top of the door to keep the kids in, that will also keep everyone else out when you are home, even with a key. Problem solved.

3 moms found this helpful

My mother is the only one that has a key. She always uses it, but she always calls ahead of time, so I know when she's coming. I gave it to her mainly because of the kids. I also have a key to her house as well. I don't have a husband or boyfriend so she won't have to worry about walking in on the "wrong" thing. I guess it has a lot to do with trust.

3 moms found this helpful

More Answers

There is No Freaking Way I would give my family members the keys to my castle. Only one couple has the key: our dear friends who watch our cat from time to time and are the emergency contact for our security alarm. They have VERY good boundaries, too! Would never even dream of 'dropping by'.

6 moms found this helpful

You have changed the lock. Now - don't give out a key. Really and truly. They are upset because they still want to let themselves in.

When they ask for one, say "I'm tired of people walking in on my bare breasts. No more keys." And stay firm.

No one has ever had a key to my place. I walk around half-naked too much when I'm alone in my house to allow that!

D.

6 moms found this helpful

My parents do, but it's for OUR benefit, not theirs! My parents would never walk in unannounced! Your situation horrifies me! Your family members don't deserve keys!

6 moms found this helpful

We have ONE "extra" key that is given to someone on an AS NEEDED basis and then returned as soon as it is no longer needed. I hate not feeling secure in my own home even if it is only family who may have keys. Some of our family members know our garage code but I can still lock the door coming in from the garage if needed....and I do.

4 moms found this helpful

I give my key to the neighbor who watches my cat when I'm out of town. She gives it back when I return. There are no other extra keys to my house floating around.

My parents would never come into my house without knocking. They had parents who did that to them and they swore never to do the same to their kids.

3 moms found this helpful

They shouldn't be upset at all. That's a strange response. Why don't you just give people a key when necessary, such as when they are housesitting, and then ask for it back.

Family members don't need to have a permanent key to your home. And yes, they should knock.

3 moms found this helpful

We had a similar experience of family having keys and just letting themselves in any time they wanted to. Well, that didn't work very well. We had to put better boundaries around it so we moved and changed the locks, didn't give anyone a key period. This has worked alot better for us. If they need to get in for some reason now, we let them borrow the spare, but they give it back immediately when they are done. As far as your family being upset about not having access, well, they don't have a right to it! You decide who comes in and who doesn't. Since they didn't respect you or your hubby enough to be courteous and call or knock and be welcomed in, they don't deserve access period. I think its a bad idea all the way around though to have people hold onto your house keys.....GL~!

M

3 moms found this helpful

I would not have an issue with my mom or sister having a house key...but I cannot imagine someone having a key and not knocking! I would think that was just common courtesy.

3 moms found this helpful

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