Does Being Called "Sweetie" Bother You?

Unless there is a very obvious condescending tone to go along with it, no I wouldn't care at all. Funny but I actually hate being called ma'am more than much of anything else. I do not like any terms used to reference a woman that is based solely on (perceived) age or marital status. They aren't used for men. I am more than my age or marital status.
I use sweetie a lot myself and I'm a native Southern CA girl. I use Dude more though LOL

ETA: In Southern California "dude" is male or female of any age or marital status. It's sort of as generic as "human". *Everyone* is "dude". Dude is also just a generic exclamation and isn't always referring to a person. Dudette is not a word and is not the female equivalent! LOL

ooh man!! From a teenager?? YES!! that would bother me. A peer? Depends upon the situation and if they know me. If they don't know me?? I don't like it.

You want me to drive down and we'll go have a chat with this teenager??! :P

I accept sweetie and honey from older women when those words feel sincere, are warm, and I feel like they are taking care of me. When the words feel cold and impersonal, the words feel disrespectful. I don't like it. I don't remember many teens or a young using the's words.. When a young person calls me sweetie or honey it feels phony.

I feel old when called ma'm. So don't call me that.

Well, I note that many people on Mamapedia call women they've never met "Sweetie"!! So we should settle this one once and for all.

Yes, it bugs the hell out of me if it's from someone I don't know (not that there's much yelling from the men on the street at my age), someone in a professional capacity (like a waiter or a store clerk), or someone in the office. Allowances given for the elderly lady who calls everyone "Sweetie". But usually it's dismissive. And a teenager?? Uh uh.

"Ma'am" is fine - I know some women think it's reserved for older women so they resent it. I think "Miss" sounds like something an older person does to establish seniority over a younger person, but maybe that's just me.

There's a nice little lunch place near here and I yearn to stop in more often because I like to give my business to the independent restaurants vs. the chains. But there's a guy who works there who calls me "Young lady" or "dear" at least 3 times per visit and I can't stand it - plus he puts his hand on my shoulder when he brings me my plate. I'm usually pretty outspoken but for some crazy reason (hunger pains???), I've yet to find the right words in a timely manner before he disappears. Then I stay away for awhile, then I forget and go back. Repeat as above. And I started going there because the waitress at another place kept called me "honey" and "dearie." Grrr....

I'm from Long Island, and if I'm in NYC, I just shut up and take what the waitress has to offer! It's not uncommon for one to come to the table, grab her pad, and say, "So, TAWK to me!" Which means "May I take your order?" But it's for EVERYONE and it's regional so I don't take offense.

And up her in MA, we definitely order jimmies. We took the kids to NY and the ice cream clerk looked like we were from Timbuktu until I translated the order to "sprinkles".

Random question: is the male equivalent of these inappropriate labels "Dude"??

I have a coworker who says hun to me and it drives me batty but it is just her way.

Of course I just told a client on the phone I loved them, sigh. A busy Friday and I had just talked to my daughter. He laughed it off but I am mortified.

Happy Friday All

One of the coffee shops I frequent had a new barista a couple of weeks ago. When I ordered and again when I left he called me darlin'. It kind of set me back because I've never had anyone call me that. He obviously is not originally from this area. But, now I'm a little disappointed when he isn't working.

Yes it bugs me. I don't like "honey" either.

My personal banker calls me darlin. He's from New Orleans area and everytime I see him it's Darlin ( insert my name). I find it weird.

I don't love it when it's someone younger. Usually though it's at a drive through and it's just some young one on cash. I don't find too many will do it if you're face to face and I'm obviously older.

For me, it's tone. I actually don't mind it if it's meant in a kind way. Mind you here it's mostly "hon".

What I find weird is we'll be at a drive through and the young server will call my husband "hon" and it's all cutesie. I find that very odd. I definitely never would have done that when I was that age working in customers service. Much too familiar.

I just have to say that I love this discussion LOL! Exactly the chuckle I needed at the end of a long week. Like Diane B., up here in MA you don't run into many honey and sweeties and when it happens, it's jarring.

That said, my soon-to-be-ex has a friend who always greeted me with "hey darlin" and that just melted by butter. I should probably see if he's single...just kidding!

Yes, "sweetie" from someone much younger than me has always been kind of irritating. It seems condescending, even though they might not actually mean it that way.

It bugs me sometimes but not nearly as much as it use to.
I'd prefer 'Ma'am' myself, or even 'Miss' but 'Honey' or 'Sweetie' just sounds too personal and familiar.
But it sure beats "Hey, you old bat!".
I had one high school kid call me 'Babe' - and THAT drove me nuts.
I work with a lady who calls females 'Lady Bug' - it works and it's never offensive!

I was born & raised in the south, so sweetie, honey and darling are normal for me. I call people the terms and never mind it for myself.

OH MY GOSH I can't stand it either. Sorry for shouting. I grew up with the impression that this is actually somewhat of a putdown, and demeaning rather than a term of 'endearment' so to speak. I tried to explain it to my husband who didn't understand at all why I was upset at such a sweet word (s). He started to notice it, too.It goes along with the cigarette smoking, gum smacking stereotyping of the workers in an old diner. It really probably doesn't mean anything half the time and... It is rather silly I guess that I get upset but it has always kind of meant 'hey you down there-just letting you know I am superior to you.' Especially when someone is way younger than me or my age or ...Maybe I'm just too old myself?

I've been called worse. ;-(

I haven't had this happen to me but YES, it would drive me nuts.

I call my husband and kids "Sweetie" but no one else. That seems weird to me. I do get called "Honey" and "Dear" all the time by cashiers and especially by wait staff. That's when I smile through gritted teeth and remind myself that it doesn't matter and it's no big deal. But it grates on my nerves!!!

yes. it would by a teenager. Here in Georgia? It's that or "honey". It was hard to get used to.

I don't like it, either. I consider 'honey', 'sweetie', etc. to be terms of endearment, so unless I am dear to someone I prefer to be called by name, if someone doesn't know my name, ma'am is fine, because there's no way I could be dear to them, lol.

AngieOPlasty, love your comment about "friends." My 1st grader's teacher calls all the classmates "friends." This was true in PreK and Kindergarten as well. Guess that's the new word instead of classmates or children.

It is not a regional thing. I, too, am well-traveled.

YES it bothers me a whole lot unless the speaker is a grandmotherly type person with lots of gray hair.

It seems dismissive and patronizing.

ETA: I also do not like when a person who is not sure about a thing says in answer to a concern--"I am sure that....." I know some folk do it to reassure the speaker, but it seems dismissive to the concern.

Sweetie and honey do not bother me. I got used to it when I lived further south, and I liked the more southern habit of kids calling familiar adult women "Miss Firstname" instead of the more formal "Mrs Lastname" that the kids here use.

However, Young Lady does bother me, because it's so obviously condescending - there is no way anyone is mistaking me for a preteen or teen.

Nope, doesn't bother me at all and I say it to others frequently. I grew up in Georgia and that was the norm there...

Here it's friend. Everywhere I go, it's "hey friend," or "what can I get you, friend?"

Darn, now I just feel left out. No one ever calls me sweetie or honey... I don't think it would bother me and after reading the other responses I would love to hear Darlin.. I would not like to be referred to as maam though.

By a teenager? Yeah, that's weird, and disrespectful in my opinion. Most of my kids' friends still refer to me as Mrs. S, which I love :-)
I'm more forgiving of older people, especially men, because I know it's a generational, cultural thing and they don't really mean any harm, it's just what they know.

I'm from (and still am in) the deep, deep south. Not as many people use familiar terms like that anymore, in my experience. But some do. Most of the time it doesn't bother me (I had an older boss who used to call me that often, and it was more a term of endearment and familiarity than demeaning in any way whatsoever) as I see it as people trying to relate and be nice. But it DOES grate on me when it is someone who is *obviously* generations younger than I am, or who is generations older than I am. For the younger ones, I feel like they should say ma'am out of respect. That's how I was brought up. And I'm not from a military family. But for the older ones, I notice that I hear it most often from those who *I feel like are being condescending.* I don't know quite how to express it. It isn't usually from anyone (older) who is in any position of authority or a higher social group... usually it's a service person. Almost as if they are laying it on thick in that southern way of saying, "bless your heart."
But yes, in certain instances it really does grate on my nerves.

For what it's worth, I don't think I ever call anyone that, except for my children. I guess I expect the same from others. Unfortunately, I've found that often it's best to have no expectations from strangers. Then you can't be disappointed. :/

A server lives off of tips. Do the server a favor. Say "Please don't call me sweetie" and continue placing your order. You will have taught him or her a valuable lesson.

I'm a Southerner. I'm also older. I've lived all over the US and overseas. Like you, I'm older and well-traveled. So I can see all the sides. You see it as condescending. They need to know that some people don't like it.

was the teenager male or female? this would affect my reaction, maybe more than the age of the person (i am female and don't appreciate being condescended to by males of any age).

but, yeah, it's weird that a teen would do that. i'd just answer back with a firm "honey-bunch" or "darling" so they got the point. :)

I would only expect be called sweetie or honey by my husband or an elderly person. I do remember once a woman my age called me honey when I was working in a grocery store and I was pretty confused by it. I didn't know if I should be offended or what to think of it. It felt condescending, but maybe affectionate? A teenager? That would sound really rude to me.

I am sure whoever called you sweetie didn't intend to ruin your evening, in fact, I am quite sure they meant it as a term of endearment.

Really we should call people what they want to be called, but that only works when we know the person.

In the professional world, yes, they should call you ma'am. In a casual pizza joint, sweetie is probably appropriate. Consider your source.

It's weird to me when someone calls me sweetie or honey if they are not my grandma's age.
I HATE it when it's some young thang says it to me.
Luckily, in Washington State I have only heard it a handful of times.
L.

It's a regional thing, but definitely weird coming from a teenager. I don't hear people using these terms of "endearment" much in general conversation anymore, even in the south. If they are used, it's more by much older men and women who came up in a different generation. I remember when growing up, the adults would use "shug" (as in sugar). Go and get me a cold drink, shug." or "How are you, shug?", and it was always pronounced "shuuuuug". I would be annoyed if I heard it now as a grown woman.

It depends where you are from....some people are more affectionate then others and have heard others treat ppl in those terms. I am one to like to treat ppl nice (if I k u). But it does not bother me if u call me sweet names.

Well no one should punch another person for calling them sweetie. I can think of a lot of
other offensive names that might result in a punch but not "sweetie". Are they trying to
be derogatory towards you? Why? I have often called people "sweetie" and only mean it in
the best way. Have a called a younger person that? I'm sure I have. Again, not meaning
anything. Calling chocolat sprinkles doesn't mean you're well traveled....just that you
call them by another name. I would say that if we all accidentally call someone "sweetie"
or "honey" not to get upset as they aren't trying to be demeaning but rather trying to be
kind. I'm sure they didn't mean to ruin your day or offend you. That may just be their "word"
to go to phrase to be kind. I wouldn't take offense to it or try not to b offended.

It is a southern thing and not meant to put anyone down (maybe it's that way up north). I have gotten used to it and don't let it bother me. I prefer life in the south, people are much nicer and more laid back here (I grew up in an urban area of NJ).

The way of life (expressions, opinions, etc.) varies so much in different parts of the country.

I was checking into a hotel a few months back and the person at the desk was a young woman, maybe 20. I am...ahem...over 20. It was late, I was tired, so that colored it. But she checked me in and gave me zero further info on parking, where my room is, etc. When I asked for info she said "look, honey, the elevators are right over there" in a voice like she was talking to a five year old. I felt like smacking her. I grew up in New England and I would never have spoken that way to an adult, particularly at work! Living in AZ, it is much more common to hear endearments from strangers. It doesn't bother me if it is from an older person, depending on context. But from a teenager? Nope. Rude.

In a similar vein, I always notice that manners are far more common in New England than they are here in AZ. Maybe because we have so many transplants? Maybe manners are more important when you know everyone or will likely deal with that person again at some point? Whatever it is, I always notice that people in New England (specifically VT, MA, ME) hold doors, say please, thank you, excuse me, bless you, and offer a hand with bags, etc, far more than in AZ! Guess I'm still a formal Yankee at heart!!

call me sweetie any time. do.not.call.me.ma'm