"Does Anyone Out There Think the Kids Need More Screen Time?"

No I don't want my own kids growing up that way. And one of my pet peeves is my son will go over to one of his friends house and that friend will be too into a video game so my son just leaves upset because the friend won't play with him. So when I have his friends over one of my rules is no video games

They do not touch my phone, they will never get a tablet, hand held gaming systems do not leave the house (my mom ended up buying them a DS), I read review after review of any games or movies before they watch them, limit electronics etc. I won't even buy a "learning game" that involves screens. All screens are off by 5 pm.

But this is a family choice...it's not everyones choice and I most certainly do not push that everyone should be this way.

I am so with you -- 100 percent. I have a second grader who reads at a 6th grade level. That's not because he's a genius. I really don't believe he is. It's because we only allow TV, movies, and video games one night per week. So the poor deprived child taught himself how to read -- fluently -- at age 4 1/2. He also does all kinds of math -- complex arithmetic and basic algebra -- recreationally. For fun.

However, I do let him type up his homework -- even if it's just a sentence or two -- because he has severe motor delays, and his handwriting is truly and literally illegible. But we use technology as a crutch, where crutches are needed. Not as a substitute for the human brain.

ETA: Sheesh. Sorry. That was opinionated of me. Sorry -- I think I have this new & improved perimenopausal PMS that strikes a week early. I do stand by what I said, but I promise to be a nice girl and say these things more diplomatically from here on out.

Holy logic errors batman! When I was a kid I could color at the table, I could read a book, I could do math, I like math. These tasks are no different than a video device.

You were not an excellent typist! There are two matrices to determine typing prowess. Speed and accuracy. Because you had to be accurate you gave up speed. Why do you think no office has a typewriter around other than a conversation piece. With a computer you get speed and accuracy.

With a handheld device you take one object to dinner when going out instead of a bag of books and crayons, it is efficient.

I hate when people pine away for the olden days when they have an agenda. That agenda is blaming technology instead of addressing poor parenting. Yes if you completely ignore your kid bad things will happen but that is the parent, not the device!

Ohhhhhkay.

I was right there with you until I got to "Do we REALLY want our children growing up like this - with half an education and total acceptance of violence and mayhem?"

Until my boys were 8 years old they'd never even touched an electronic device, so I'm right there with you in believing that kids need to do real life things that don't include electronics.

Now my boys are 11 and 12 and we own an X-Box 360 and two iPod Touches. We limit screen time. They're very well educated and certainly do not have a "total acceptance of violence and mayhem." An acceptance of violence, mayhem, disrespect, and other dysfunctional behaviors are a result of the family system in which a child is raised and cannot be correlated or attributed to electronics alone.

I think your post makes great points, but it jumped the shark at the mention of kids who use electronics being half educated and accepting of violence and mayhem. Of all people you, as someone who works in criminal defense, should understand that screwed up people are usually screwed up because they came from screwed up parents....not because of the Christmas gifts they got.

Children need to learn to be tech savvy in the world today. That is the world in which they live, and it will only become more so. Does that mean that technology should replace playing outside, or learning to behave in public? No. But I don't see a problem with letting my kids use their iPods while they are waiting at the doctors office, or play on the ds while the adults sit around the table talking at the restaurant. They can still behave without them at church. They spend lots of time in extra-curricular activities, such as music and sports, as well as time playing outdoors, so I don't mind if they play on their devices on long car rides, or spend a Friday evening on the PS3. My son has actually been issued an iPad at school. The iPad will replace textbooks so that the information can be updated more frequently. There just needs to be a balance.

I don't think anyone needs more screen time.
People don't learn to interact with actual people unless they are interacting with actual people.
I think people could derive a lot of good from staging a power outage from time to time.
We were out of power for 24 hrs last time a hurricane came through.
We used candles and flashlights at night.
We played cards and a few board games.
During the day time we read books.
I was glad to be able to take a shower once the power came back on (we have well water so if there's no power for the well, we have no water) but it was kind of nice being away from the internet and all electronics for awhile.

There is nothing wrong with technology, it drives our lives today. Even you (all of us) are using technology to connect with other moms and ask questions. I don't think this Fisher Price idea is horrible either. Honestly, I don't. If someone wants to park their kid in front of it for 20 minutes to take a shower or sweep the floor, it's none of my business.

Why do you want to do it the old fashioned way? Things change for a reason. If the old fashioned way is 1950's, why not go back further and keep the girls and home to take care of the house/family and only let the boys finish school and provide? I know I'm making it extreme, but you have to accept that times change and things change.

As far as technology goes - all three of my kids use ipads in class. They are in 1st, 3rd ,and 5th grades this year. It's NECESSARY to know how to use them so they aren't left behind. Parenting is managing the time they are on electronics...not banning them all together. Just my two cents.

I agree.

We don't have any electronic toys. The (young) kids don't use computers or phones at any age. I ignore the educational games the school says we can do on the computer. That's not how I learned math.

It is sad how many kids are glued to devices, too.
We won't go there.

I realize I do use a computer as an adult. But the kids do NOT need any device, Ipad, video game, phone, etc. at any age, including high school.
In college a phone would be OK. I had one then.

To say it's all about balance is misleading. I don't see balance. When I look at teens I see them GLUED to phones and such. I see kids during the summer playing video games for hours. I'd be exhausted trying to balance all that for them, so I won't buy any of that stuff.

I had a nice visit with the orthopedic surgeon who preformed surgery on a family member. He fixed a broken bone by inserting a metal rod and putting "nails" they don't seem to call them screws anymore through the pieces of broken bones putting her back together. With only two very small incisions.

I asked him how on earth he could do so much work inside with such small incisions. He thanked the good Lord and his mother for allowing him to play endless hours of video games. Because he told me the devices they use to preform almost all major surgery involve watching a screen and using a controller much like those on a video gaming system. He said his video game playing made him a better surgeon than some of his more sheltered counter parts (who were not allowed to play video games or older and missed out on personal gaming systems) who struggled with learning the latest surgical techniques.

All this from the top rated orthopedic surgeon in our whole city.

So, should I deny my children the ability to function in this new and changing world by denying them technology?

Or should I as a parent make wise choices for them in what they play and when and for how long, to make them MORE able to function in our changing world?

I think you are assuming that most electronic devices are from the pits of hell, sent here by Satan himself to corrupt today's youth. You have to understand this is not always the case. Sure some parents allow kids to play games they shouldn't- that's just poor parenting.
What you have to understand is that in these times, kids should start learning how to navigate their electronic world at a young age because this is the future and is the world we live in, like it or not. Young people today can't go into a job interview and say "I can color in the lines". They are expected to have a pretty large arsenal of technological skills at their disposal. They are expected to adapt to evolving technology and be able to interact creatively in a digital environment. And, they are expected to be self-learners, utilizing new skills on their own with very little guidance. Nothing about this is old fashioned. But with technology, old-fashioned was last month.
I just finished doing multiplication flash cards with my son just now before signing on here. I have turned him over to a math app now. He just finished writing a synopsis of a book he finished to turn in for school. I made him google a word he didn't know. So it's not about handing them an electronic device to hush them up or keep them behaved. For me, it's empowering my child to be able to use and decipher the wealth of information and knowledge that is at his fingertips.

I'm of the mind that some people may disagree with you and some will agree. The market will dictate its success. My kids are older - I wouldn't have bought it, but it's the direction of the future, like it or not.

While I agree kids need to be tech savvy in today's world (and tomorrow's) I think they also need to know how to deal with people face to face. I have to kick my son off of his Ipod. He will tell me he is playing a game with so and so. Really? It sometimes gets on my nerves. Kids don't even play like they used to. With each other.

I hated it last year when I saw some stuffed animal with a space for an Ipod or phone. This was a toddler toy. I also think that if the only way to get your kids to behave in a restaurant is with an e-device, we have a problem.

It is stupid, stupid, stupid! Just the thought of a screen attached to anything that an infant is looking at is enough to make me see red. People wanting to get ipads for 4 year olds makes me crazy - argh!!!

You make some good points, but you're over simplifying the topic.

I'm looking over at the couch right now, as my two kids are playing on an IPad. This is not something they get to do often, but they haven't had a chance to play all week and Grandpa is supposed to walk in the door any minute now, so it's ok for now.

I've seen several posts lately about tablets and other toys. Some of the responders say kids don't need those when they should be outside playing. Well, some of us have no trouble getting our kids to go outside and play. Heck, mine would play outside in the rain if I let them, even on very cold days. I use the IPad on car trips, in doctor's offices and as the occasional treat. So, it's not always a helpful thing to say.

My point is, nothing wrong with these toys if used within reason.

My DH bought a portable DVD player for the car and DD and I rarely use it. She can easily be entertained (or sleep) with other toys for up to 4 hours (with potty breaks). I think that adding a screen to a bouncy seat is lazy parenting. Pick up your child. Let the child crawl, roll over, and interact with his/her world.

DD is going to be tech savvy. Keeping her offline when she's 5 isn't going to hurt that. Honestly. She doesn't need a computer, a tablet, a laptop, an ipod. She knows how to work my phone just by watching me. Her dad and I have techie jobs and we just don't think a toddler needs a device. If you have to put a kid proof case on it...isn't that a clue that a kid might break it and maybe it's not entirely appropriate? I got really tired watching my SD break things when she was too young to treat them right. But it wasn't my money....

But that said, while you can argue about walking uphill both ways in the snow, there are a lot of products that make our lives easier, for good or ill (don't get me started on my college using the card catalog for scrap with a buggy computer system). Just because DD is unlikely to use a card catalog doesn't mean she won't know what a library is.

The end of your post though - I don't think that screens = violence. As a parent or guardian, your job is to watch what the kids read, listen to, watch on TV or at the theater as well as monitor screen time. When SS was younger, a friend brought over Grand Theft Auto...and it went on the box by the door and straight back to his house.

There are a TON of things on the market that are stupid, unnecessary and just plain wrong. And sadly a ton of people who will buy them. I feel sorry for the babies who get stuck in a chair with a screen instead of being held. Or stuck in a chair with no screen. I know that happens, too. Screens have their place, but IMO it shouldn't be in front of an infant. who barely knows he has feet.

C.,
I think balance is key in every aspect of parenting, and this includes electronics.

Early childhood educational research has proven time and again that children really learn best when the learning is a tangible, real life experience. As a former nanny and preschool teacher, this informs how I view technology in our lives-- it should augment it, not direct it. When we get too 'hooked' on our computers, it causes problems. People tend to disconnect from each other.

Lately it's been very concerning to me how often parents use the smartphone out at the pub as a babysitter so they can drink while their infant or toddler stares at a screen. It is really strange to watch and very sad. When our boy was little, I'd wear him in the pack and we'd look at the flashing beer signs, talk to other patrons or I'd talk to him, give him something to hold, sit him on my lap and let him color on some paper. I have fond memories. We spent that time as a family.

Much like television, I think the greatest propensity for misuse will be in families whose parents are not meeting the child's needs. Again, I think balance is important, and this includes not just the technology in and of itself, but the family's lifestyle as a whole. When I say balance, I should add that computer/screen time comes for our son after homework, chores and other family activities. My husband and I don't watch tv during the day for the most part. We try not to let our screens keep us from parenting him as he needs us.
(edited for brevity)

I see nothing wrong with technology, it's a part of everyday life. I do not plan on moving to a mountain in the hills and homeschooling my kids. As parents we need to show our kids the benefit of having a well rounded life-everything in moderation. Screen time included.
Last year I tried abc mouse for my 4 year old and was pleased with the results. Prior o that I did hooked on phonics, flash cards, writing, drawing, and labeling activities with her. After about a two weeks (3 days a week for 30 mins) she could write her full name. Prior to that she had one letter down.
My kids always write thank you letters for gifts, memorize phone numbers, and know how to use paper books/dictionaries (things that I seem to see much less of nowadays). They think it's fun-because it's 'old fashioned'. Lol. We also recently had a home phone installed and they can not get over it!! Our oldest is 9 and has never used one (yikes!).
As for the violent games-well there are recommended ages for a reason. We don't own anything of the like-but my 17 year old nephews do and I don't see anything wrong with that.

I already think it's incredibly stupid for toddlers to be given iPads and tablets. Maybe kindergarteners sharing mom and dad's for the learning apps... but even then when children in the range of 6 years old are given iPads I think it's ridiculously irresponsible.

And now they want to give infants more face time with tablets? Hell no. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Whatever happened to, you know, BONDING with your own babies and teaching them yourselves? Do. Your. Job.

It's all about balance in everything we do.

I pretty much agree with you. I think that there is a time and place for these things, and they really can serve a good purpose, but they should not be used as babysitters for extended periods of time. My toddler used my tablet during a relative's funeral. He doesn't get it when we're out for a meal and we have an opportunity to engage each other. There are interactive games on iPads and phones that we enjoy together. Sometimes, though, I let him have them all to himself for just a few minutes while I get something else done.

When my SS was in school and getting into trouble, his computer was taken away from him. They gave it back for homework. My vote was for making him go to the library and "looking it up" like we used to do. No computer meant no computer--in my mind--and he needed to feel the inconvenience of that, even if it meant getting a lower grade (because of fewer resources) or compromising with making him use the library computer to access the Internet. It wasn't about punishing him, but about teaching an appreciation for what he had and the process that went into the results. It was also about showing him that the computer was a privilege and not a right that he could hold over his parents' heads.

ETA: itsacrazylifewith5, I think I have that toy! It was a gift, and I had only recently gotten my iPhone and didn't know that it was so interactive. It's a pretty neat feature, actually, and very educational. I can't tell you the last time that he's played with it, though. It's not a constant.