Does Anyone Have a Child with Aspergers?

I have a son with Aspergers. All I can really say it to remember you are doing the best job you can with the tools you were given. Try soical skill programs. Social stories to help learn the "tricks" of fitting in worked well with my son. He was diagnosed at 5 years old. He is also ADD. Feel free to email me directly if you want to talk.

M.

My soon to be 7 yr old has AS....It isnt an easy tast in raising these little brilliant ones, is it? :)

We have chosen NOT to medicate our child because there simply isnt any medication made for AS or any type of Autism for that matter. Our child races around when he feels the urge...disrupts everything that surrounds him (lol), has melt downs from time to time, but is generally a nice little boy thankfully.

But really, as far as treatment goes, I know there are things offered thru the school that seem to help him, like cognative skills, physical therapy, etc. But if I were you, I would be very very careful about putting him on meds to help calm him or make him focused....We did try ritalin a couple of years back...my poor child was showing so many other disorders, plus, he didnt sleep for 3 days! It turned him into something/someone unfamiliar and lost in his own body and mind even more than his every day life....We swore we'd never do it again.

What I found to be most helpful is reading-and more reading. I would read anything and everything on the web that I could find. But now that he has been diagnosed with it, the school meetings (IEP's) and such will help you all out tremendously.

Dont be too upset, atleast now you have an "answer" as to why your son behaves as he does :)

And you have a very brilliant child on your hands...many of our great americans have been known to have AS. Einstein, Gates, Edison....and many more had AS. Imagine where'd we'd be if someone found a "cure".

N

I'm wondering what Aspergers is exactly. I guess I gotta do some research.
Have you ever thought about looking at your environmental toxins as contributing to some of your family's health issues?? So many things can be done to help our bodies, such as getting a water filter, air purifier, eating organic foods, etc... There are so many reasons why children are diagnosed with problems/ issues, many of them are related to diet and environment. For example, 80% of the diagnosed cases of ADHD have to do with a child's diet (of too much sugar & processed foods). It's really sad that so many western doctors do not want to acknowledge environmental issues being a lead factor to health problems, but it's sooo true.

I encourage you to look into other types medicines (non-western, such as herbs)and other sources for help with your children's health issues. I wish you blessings and a positive healthy mind frame.

wow, I saw a program on aspergers and i thought it was very interesting and i really admire your strength in dealing with that and adapting to having a deaf child as well, i think you should look into a residential program, it may be hard to think of him living somewhere else away from home but, maybe you can just experiment for a short time, see if it helps him and also allows you to put more focus on yourself and other children....i'm also interested in learning ASL. Keep us updated! peace, Amal

K., I just wanted to commend you on being such a strong mom. While I don't have a child with asperger, my son having recently diagnosed with ADHD this year has been rough on our family.Between a psychologist, behavioral therapist and I'm taking a parenting course to better deal with his oppositional defiance disorder, my two girls are feeling ignored and I haven't been able to work with my toddler on potty training or speech development and he'll be 3 in a month while we're trying to find the right medication, dosage so his therapist can coach him successfully.

Your story really touched me. And, I wanted to remind you how resilient kids are & parents are strong and powerful (or so they tell me in my parenting group). I don't believe God gives us more than what we can handle. And, with each situation we get a little bit stronger.

You give me hope... While I let my son's condition handicap me... I'm re-learning to be the parent that he needs, so that we can move forward as a family. With the love you've expressed for your family and the dedication it must take to be a working mom... You're an inspiration and a light of love and that will get your family through even the most fustrating of times... Good luck! you're in my prayers.

I have 5 kids my self and 3 of them have adhd with learning problems my last son is the bigs. He is now 17 going to be 18 in june It takes a lot of time and understaning that it is not your fault but it is something that needs a lot of coulsing My son is on med. and ir helps. I let my son go in kikboxing it helped with getting his mind focus and stay on top of school very importented

My son is 7 and is diagnosed with Autism, which is similar. He also gets services from VMRC. We also have 3 children and our 7 year old is our middle child.

It is really hard being a parent these days and making the right decision on what to do when you are in your situation.
Do not ever feel like you are a bad parent because you are not.You are a loving and caring parent that is why you are exercising your options to help your children in any way that you can. I have a granddaughter and I do everything I can naturally to balance her out to keep her healthy. I am not in the medical field but I work around a lot of doctors that practice prevention and share at events a healthy way to live. Check out www.nikken.com/ninmarie and if you would like to learn more let me know and I will put you in the direction to talk to health professionals to get your questions answered. I wish you well.
Have a great weekend. N.

Wow K., my hats off to you! It sounds like you really have your hands full with your children and special needs! It's great you're out there trying to get support. I'm a teacher and I've had kids with Aspergers. A few tips that we've done in the classroom that might help? Consistent routine (and warning ahead of time of changes), avoiding loud noises, using computer technology for learning (games, etc. b/c it cuts out the social aspect they have a hard time with). When I wrote a paper in my master's program about how technology can help, I found some good resources on the Internet.
Although Asberger's is a much less degree form on the Austism continuum, I've heard that Jenny McCarthy's book was helpful to some people. One thing she found that helped was a gluten-free diet, and other changes in her son's diet. Maybe that might help too? I wish you all the best! Look to the schools for more resources, I hope they can help.

Hi K. -

I have a 15-year-old son with Asperger Syndrome -- he was diagnosed when he was 4. I basically dedicated my life to getting him the help that he needed -- the good news is, it helped. He is very high-functioning, all As and Bs, good friends, and very happy. Life gets better!!

Because of this, I went back to school at 43 and just this quarter finished my Masters in Counseling Psychology, and have gone into private practice as a neurodiversity counselor -- helping older adolescents and adults 'manage' their Asperger/HFA/NLD, AD/HD, pervasive mood disorders, or learning disorders. It is very satisfying work, and I would be glad to help in any way I can. You can look me up on www.evolibri.com -- you are not alone!

Finally -- PLEASE READ MY BOOK! It is available on Amazon.com, and is called The Mom's Guide to Asperger Syndrome. It is written for parents of AS kids in elementary school, and walks you through EVERYTHING you need to know about how to parent these wonderful children.

J.

ALSO: Please be very careful about 'taking in' too much information about food allergies, environmental toxins, etc. I have been researching autistic spectrum disorders for over 10 years now -- while it is true that some kids have allergies that may contribute to some behavioral issues, changing your child's diet will not make him non-autistic. Further, there is absolutely no evidence that vaccines (specifically, the MMR) causes autism.

Autistic Spectrum Disorders are due to a physical difference in the brain and brain chemistry. There appears to be a heredity component -- both parents tend to be very bright, and one or both tend to have some features of autism (sensory issues, poor social skills, highly analytic).

Further, I and other professionals in the field believe that ADD/ADHD may in fact be a form of what we call autism -- that in fact there is a large continuum of differences in brain structure that encompasses all of these 'disorders'. The bottom line is, none of these are reasons why a child cannot grow into a happy adult. We are all different, yet we must all function in the larger world. The key is to help different children function and be happy and productive in that world!

K.,

I am sure there are many things you are feeling. I just went through a pile of books this weekend and have a couple on Aspergers I can send you, if you would like. I have had that diagnosis thrown at me with my son and it gave me relief and sorrow. Michael was is speech therapy early on, still does not know how to tie his shoes, has a hard time buttoning...basically fine motor skills are an issue. He also had numerous allergies, which honestly, once I got milk, wheat, and soy out of his diet it did help with some of the tantrums.
In the last couple of years he has changed tremendously. He is very smart, beginning to get involved in tee-ball (an loves it)and he deeply cares for those who are weaker in the group. The one piece of advice I would give you would be to celebrate his strengths and tell the teachers about them, too.
I have a friend over in the valley who has a daughter that has be diagnosised with somewhere on the spectrum...if you would like her contact information please email me privately and I will get you in contact with her...I am sure she has a lot of resources that can get you started.

Kind regards,
M.

It's bery difficult to treat aspergers, because it's not something you can cure. All you can do is help the kid adjust, learn social skills. I learned when my son wa 8 that he had aspergers. I also learned that he wasn't being obeseeive for a reason just NEEDING to talk about a subject, so I taught him to draw about it. It saved both of our sanities. A meetup group in Redlands is
http://aspergers.meetup.com/234/?gj=sj3
They don't meet too often but they could help. There's also a yahoo group for San Bernardino / orang county. Look it up on the web. Again I didn't get any help from the school system and he only saw a counselor for two years. My son is now 13 goes to the good junior high school in my area (you have to get good grades, behavior and minimal absences to attend this school) and is functioning at a "Normal" level. He has very little friends but for he most part he's happy.

Hello. It wasn't until my second son was diagnosed with Autism that we finally figured out what my first son had, Asperger's. He was much like your son, quick to tantrum, poor in social situations, fearful of most things unknown. We finally got him formally diagnosed with AS and Anxiety disorder after he was unable to attend first grade without bolting and having crying fits.
The good news is, and there is good news, we finally got him a shadow aid. His aid is in the classroom for two hours a day, and he has push in social groups with a SLP. Also, we went the medication route after two years of research and debate. He is doing great on Zoloft. It was a scary start, but, he is a different person. He goes to school all day, is able to focus on his homework, going to friends houses without his mommy, and has spontaneously told me he loves me!!! Our lives have changed dramatically and I just want people out there to know that not all medications are bad. We were skeptical, but, our son is the one who is benefitting. He is brave and beautiful.
Good luck and hang in there!!

Dear K.,

Two things, please do not go back to work unless you absolutely have to. Your children need you for a few more years. Who is going to deal with their special needs if you are are work?

Secondly, the very best thing you can do for your child with Aspergers and the whole rest of the family is to find a Aspergers Support Group, and pay attention to what they say. They are the ones who are on the front lines and can help you.

Thirdly, you are an amazing woman - Thanks to God that you are taking these problems like a champ. Your children will be lots more well adjusted as adults since you are being so supportive to them and not having your own 'tantrum'. Sincerely, C. N.

I do not have a child with Asberger's, however I do work with many Autistic children, and children with other disabilities. There is a brand of toys, Discovery Toys, that is geared towards therapy for your son. You probably know, or will find, that your son has a specific learning style...Sound, touch, or sight. Discovery Toys uses these types of learning styles to find toys that are actually teaching him things like completion of activities, cooperative play, sustained engagemant etc. These are life skills that every child needs.
I hope this helps
Kim Haag
www.discoverytoyslink.com/kimhaag

I am in the process of getting my 10 yr old daughter diagnosed w/ Aspergers. I've known there was something wrong since age 3, and went from therapist to therapist. She has the social issues, tantrums, etc. She has a diagnosis of Sensory Integration Dysfunction and has PT/OT since age 5. (She may never have the balance and coordination to ride a bike.) I hand pick her public school teachers (she was expelled from every private school I tried to send her to for behaviors). She functions best in a very structured environment with positive rewards. I have her in a Karate for All program for kids with special needs -- including Autism, deaf, blind, CP, cancer, Downs, etc. It functions as a social group and PT/OT.

I know many kids on the spectrum and they're all great kids.

I am also a public high school teacher and work with several Autistic kids.

Do you home school?
If your son is in public school, you'll need to stay on top of them to provide appropriate services.

Try to find a social group in your area w/ other Asperger kids.

C. F

What did VMRC reccomend? Give Family Resource Network a call ###-###-####) they do a lot to help families who have children with special needs, and have a lot of resources. The diagnosis itself is a label to help you understand what's going onwith your son, now you have to decide what his needs are and if he would benefit from going through the IEP proess, if he hasn't all ready.

Hi K.,

I'm Jenny, I also have a child with aspergers/high functioning autism and as well, I am deaf, with my younger son being hearing imparied. We use sign language as well. I would love to chat with you regarding both your children and this Hollister school system and both sons are at Ladd Lane elementary currently, the older one with aspergers is currently 5th grade and he is age 11 yrs. My other one is 10 yrs and in 3rd.

my e-mail is ____@____.com Please feel free to contact me anytime as I am very interested in making new friends that sign, and also exchange information and strategies in helping our children deal with their disabilities.

Thank you,
Jenny

K.,

First off, {{{{{hugs}}}}}. My 3.5 year old is "high functioning autistic" which basically means, like your son, he's on the autism spectrum. It is a really tough thing to hear about your child. The first thing I'd recommend is talking to your school district to see what type of programs they have in place and what they recommend. My school district has been a tremendous help to me. They have a special needs preschool program that we are accessing. Obbiously your son is too old for that, but it doesn't hurt to check out their programs. From there, you just start researching - there is lots of information and lots of theories on ways to help your child. Therapies, biomedical intervetions, vitamins, supplements, diet changes. From my perspective the hard part is weeding through all of the information and figuring out what you want to try and what is actually "do"- able for you and your family. Also, check out www.autismspeaks.org. They've got lots of great info. I don't know where you are located but I'm in Las Vegas, Nv. Here we have a couple of agencies that are good resources. We have Nevada PEP (Parent Education Partnership) and F.E.A.T. Both have good resources for parents of autistic children. Just keep in mind, your kid is still the same kid he was before and the only thing that has changed is now he has a label. While that can be hard to deal with, at least it gives you some place to start in helping him to reach his potential. It is actually more frustrating (in my opinion) to not know what you are dealing with. I know all too well about sitting there and wondering if your child's behavior is your fault or if you are just a bad parent. Good luck to you!

T.
mama to Cole 9-11-03 ASD (autism spectrum disorder), SID (sensory integration disorder)
and Wyatt 10-14-06

Wow. I don't really hear alot about other families with children with this disorder. My younger brother, who is now 15, was incorrectly diagnosed with Aspergers. This was so difficult to deal with. My brother was always into his own reality, books, tv, and games his salvation. People always used to ask me what was wrong with him. He never really had friends because the kids around him were unwelcoming of another child who was so different. Retaining information was very difficult for him. I really don't have any advice for you on this. My family just dealt with the issue the best we could (which wasn't always the best I suppose) and lately he has become more and more like a normal teenager, as close as he could ever possibly be. Maybe your son will eventually do the same. Good luck!