79 answers

Does Anyone Else's Husband/bf Play Video Games?

My husband plays computer games every single night when he gets home from work, which makes him slower to help me around the house. He will take breaks to help with the kids or hold them while he plays, but I'm just wondering if I'm alone in this situation. It just seems like something a 37 year old married family man shouldn't do. I will add that compared to who he used to be, I'm at least glad that he's home every night when he's off work, but it's frustrating sometimes! Anyone feel my pain? Not looking for much advice, just some sympathy and company!

1 mom found this helpful

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I'm cracking up over how many women are in the same situation! Thanks everyone for letting me know I'm not alone!
I do get some revenge my grocery shopping for two hours or spending way too long in the shower. Sometimes I just ask him to watch something with me or have to ask him three times to help me do something. He was great after my c-section although sometimes he would have his brother come help me (so lazy!), and went back to some of his ways after my 6 week checkup recently. Now I bag up the garbage and sit it in front of the front door so he has no choice but to take it out, or put things in front of the stairs so he has to take them up or down if he goes!

Our three year old will bother him while he's playing too so I think he understands sometimes that she needs attention. The worst is when he puts on the headphones then can't hear me when I need something. We have agreed that he leaves one side off so he can hear.

The funniest thing is that sometimes he will ask me for something and I shout back, "not right now, I'm in the middle of a mission!" Heehee...:)

Featured Answers

You are not alone!!! My husband is 35 and loves the online Call of Duty that he plays every night and every weekend (that is what I am listening to and watching right now as I am typing). Yes it is frustrating, especially becauses we have a 8 month old. Anyways, I voice my opinion to him and he has cut down alittle, but what else can we do.

1 mom found this helpful

Oh you are not alone and I am glad I am not alone ether! My husband plays Gears of War on the Xbox 360 EVERY SINGLE NIGHT! we just had a discussion yesterday about it. I told him its getting out of hand. Every night about 8:30 he starts it up he plays it so loud. for the first couple of months it was kinda fun to watch him but now its just gone too far. granted the kids are already in bed or about to go to bed but he plays it so loud I cant go in the other room and watch TV because its just too loud and I cant hear so I end up going to bed at 8:30 even on the weekends. its hard to sleep too because he has it up so loud and because he can talk to the other players over the mic he is cussing and yelling. I told him it has to stop.

Sympathy given. Interesting new dilemma. Usually it's the kids that cause us grief with their game time. But the mindless entertainment is too great a pull for many people.
And I completely agree that it's far better to have them at home than out and about.
Good luck to you.

More Answers

oh dear!!! you are NOT alone!! LOLOL my husband does the same thing. We've been married almost 13 years. Our girls are 5 and 3. He takes a break for supper and bedtime stories... LOL It really didn't get to me before children since I like to watch TV. (Can't do without my Oprah LOL) He never complained about my TV so I never did about his computer. But now of course with children, it's different. I think women have an easier time with being in touch with their children anyway, men sometimes have to be taught. I say sometimes because this isn't always the case. It seems that the men who do spend a lot of quality time with their children have wifes who don't appreciate it and find something else to complain about. LOL When I read your post, I actually chuckled out loud, because...... you are soooo not alone!!

2 moms found this helpful

Yup! My husband is a gamer, playing on-line interactive games at night. And that's our agreement... he can play AFTER our girls (3 and 1) are in bed. Until then, it's family time. The downside is that sometimes we don't get enough "us" time... but the second he starts complaining about that, I just point at the computer and he gets the message.

I totally understand the need to 'decompress' before coming in and interacting with the family, but videogames aren't the best way to do it. Perhaps he could stop at a gym or take a walk or do something else physical on his way home? Even just parking the car and taking a walk around the block before coming inside can help. I know it works for me after a stressful day working, and keeps me from unloading all my work-related garbage at my family.

1 mom found this helpful

You are not alone!!! My husband is 35 and loves the online Call of Duty that he plays every night and every weekend (that is what I am listening to and watching right now as I am typing). Yes it is frustrating, especially becauses we have a 8 month old. Anyways, I voice my opinion to him and he has cut down alittle, but what else can we do.

1 mom found this helpful

I have the same problem im 28 and hes 29 i work and he dosent, he picks up takes the kids to school and pick them up. but were in the procrss of moving out from aour home, so we have been packing. its hard because i work 10 hour shifts and still have to come home clean and cook and pack because he spends most of his time palying video games, and avery time i tell him something he says he just started playing and he doesn't play alot, but i get up to go to work at 2:30 and he is bearly going to bed what else he does i dont know. But what i do know is that im getting tired of it and he does not understand. On the weekend we always have to wait on him because hes playing video games i come home and hes playing i dont know waht to do.

1 mom found this helpful

hey honey i feel you! my husband comes home from work about everyday and play about 2 to 3 hrs on his game. i think at some points its ok. but everyday is a bit much..especially since he goes to the gym 3-4 days out the week; and plays his games on those days too. I've decided to start leaving the house as soon as he gets in and show him how it feels. I mean he comes in and we greet each other.. he gets settled, and then he starts his faithful routine of playing his game. so for now on i want his to see me greet him at the door and walk right on pass him and pull off. them he will get the point. It bothers me so much cause we already talked about his hobbies interfering with family time, and says ok he'll alternate days or cut the game off at a certain time, but by the next week he forgets our whole conversation. I don't know whether to take him ignoring my feelings personal or not.

1 mom found this helpful

Video games are very addicting, but unfortunately a LARGE waste of time and are mainly antisocial, because usually you're not talking or participating with anyone, or learning anything. It doesn't mean they should never be played. All of us love to play, however, and need recreation. When you watch a movie with your family, you're all experiencing something at the same time. That is not the case with video games, so it can cause more friction than in the old days when daddy plopped down in front of the TV and let mom take care of everything after work.

I would suggest talking with him and figuring out a schedule where he can help, but also have time for his hobby. Video games - television - I don't see a lot of difference. These games - I know from personal experience, can gobble up huge chunks of time, and it seems like 5 minutes have passed when actually 2 hours have passed! The only way to curb this one is put a timer on it. I've been a video game junkie in the past, myself - in the old days I used to frequent the arcades for hours every other day. Kids also need one-on-one time with Dad without something else taking up his attention, otherwise they will feel like THEY are not important.

I myself am a workaholic and learnaholic. I love to learn about everything, and am always trying to figure out how to fix computer problems with my database or my computer. If I don't watch it, my family will become neglected. I have to make sure that I take time out for my children, put a timer on my computer and business habits, because they will take over my life if I let them. I love reading about the latest question that has popped into my mind about something on the internet (are those Arbonne products REALLY natural - I'm going to look up the ingredients list on the computer) - for example (LOL).

I hope you can work out something with him so frustrations don't mount, but that you get the support that you need, and he gets the release in a hobby he enjoys, to meet his needs.

God bless!

1 mom found this helpful

My husband has been playing video games for so long that it's starting to drive me insane! We have a three year old daughter who (of course) needed lots of attention. We both have lost our jobs due to down sizing and now he spends more time than ever on the computer. I have confronted him about it but all he says is "I am not on it that long" I tempted to video tape him to have evidence but I think that might be a little crazy. I am so tired and worn out from competing with his stupid toys! I don't know what to do the next best thing right now would be a clean slate.

1 mom found this helpful

I am suffering from this problem right now! I got married less than a year ago and this is already happening! :( My husband plays poker on his phone 24/7 and he is 31 years old! Is this like a mid life crisis?? It's really annoying me, because he is playing ALL the time and hardly does anything else, he's like a robot that occasionally would drop in a line or two every once in a while to let me know "he's there" but I know I don't have his full attention at all. Am I complaining for no reason? I mean to be fair, we do not do much after work and after dinner we just sit around and watch TV and talk but still he is different when he is playing his games and its just annoying to see him holding his phone while walking to the bathroom, in the bathroom, while brushing his teeth, sitting on the couch with me, getting water, in bed before he sleeps. UGH its so annoying, I don't mind if he plays like an hour or two even but like this is crazy, don't you think? or am I turning into the controlling wife? :( Like yesterday I wanted to do something *wink wink* but just seeing him so into his phone like that and sometimes when I say something he wouldn't even answer me bcs he is not focused with me, it turned me off so much I just went to bed.

Please let me know how you dealt with this!


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