Does Anyone Else Go "Underboard" on Christmas Gifts???

Updated on December 09, 2011
K.L. asks from Woodland, CA
38 answers

My gosh!! I answered a question on how much people spend on gift giving, and I spend around $40 for each of my kids, none on my husband, and $10 on each child in the family. Ton of other mamas spend hundreds and hundreds!!! Am I the only one who keeps it super humble during Christmas?

Yes, my parents buy my kids loads of stuff, and all our family members buy them L. toys and things. But nobody in our extended family goes nuts spending on any of the kids in the family!!

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So What Happened?

Casey: as for me, we are living on a modest income, and can only spend so much extra money on gifts. Some days I wish I could spend hundreds, but then I think my kids don't need much anyway. My parents are very very generous gift givers, and i do appreciate the fact they are able to spoil our guys. I just don't feel like I need to go into debt to please my babies.

Featured Answers

E.B.

answers from Seattle on

I do....my kids are getting home made gifts this year:)

Total spent.....about $15.00 for supplies....For three kids, that is pretty darn good!

I draw....So every one gets a very personal piece of Artwork.

Total out the door for Christmas...$30.00...Cause we are ordering Pizza this year for Christmas dinner(I am pitchin' in half)....My mom's idea:) I thought it was Tacky Classy....and LOVE THE IDEA! So no Christmas HAM:)

YAY! for being Frugal!!!

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K.S.

answers from Detroit on

I meant to underspend this year, but I think I'm going to end up getting a Polar Express train. I rationalize it by thinking dd doesn't get expensive gifts from others due to their finances. The train should be a forever investment, so for that reason I am fine with it. Good for you!

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K.L.

answers from Lafayette on

kids are 10 and 13...under 300 for them, hubby, grandparents total. my poor kids have to save if they want electronics, since there isn't enough in the budget. When they were L. we did a nice Christmas from the thrift store---could get away with used--and spent much less. We haven't done exchanges outside of the immediate family since before kids...no one has the time, and many don't have the $. This way we reduce the stress.

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K..

answers from Phoenix on

You are not the only one. To be honest, I am kind of disgusted by the amounts of money people will spend for a commercial holiday, for things their kids don't need & probably will be sick of in a month. I think it sends a bad message, sets high expectations which have to be topped every year, and is such a waste.

This year we are on a strict budget, and will spend under $100 on DD. No fancy gadgets, video games, or electronics. Just good old fashioned fun - arts & crafts supplies, games, educational stuff. Year after year, these are the things she goes back to. The "of the moment"/pricey toys tend to have a limited shelf life, IMO.

We use cash, so we won't be paying over & above the actual cost of the items, for the next year +.

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B..

answers from Dallas on

Our Christmas Budget this year is $350. That's for ALL our family and extended, and 2 angels. I guess it's handy being artists. We make almost everything. We don't buy my son gifts. He is 2.5 and he gets toys from everyone else. As he gets older we will give him one thing from Santa (or us, whatever.) I don't know, I just don't like being surrounded by "stuff" and buying so much of it. No one needs so much, ya know? It's kind of sad, I think. Just my opinion.

P.S.
Casey - I do NOT rely on relatives to save me money! I know they get him a lot of gifts whether I tell them he doesn't need them or not. I don't want to add to the stuff. I think people confuse "generosity" with buying a ton of stuff. Giving someone a thoughtful, useful gift...is just as generous as spending hundreds of dollars. Generosity is not counted by them amount of zeros behind a number. Also, a child getting one or two things...is not going without. Personally, I don't want my son desire having so much things. I don't want him to become part of the "stuff" generation. I don't want him to feel entitled to things he will play with for 5 seconds, because he has so much. I want him to find JOY in what he is blessed with, not with the amount of things he can acquire. I want him to be thankful and understand that what may seem like "going without" to others, is more then 99% of the rest of the world gets. I want him to understand the true meaning of Christmas. That's just how I am!

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

A "Merry" Christmas has nothing to do with the price tag!

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

Nope, you aren't the only one! I was a bit surprised too...

In our family, it's mostly the traditions which make the holiday special for us. We have so many 'L.' things in the days before Christmas that we do. I'm sure families that spend way more than we do also have great traditions. I just know that for us to spend like that, we'd go into debt. We live a pretty modest life on a frugal budget, and Christmas doesn't make that any different.

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L.F.

answers from Chicago on

I love reading these responses! I am keeping it humble, and have been doing that for the past few years. My total budget for Christmas (including gifts, tips, and Christmas cards) is about $500. And it looks like I'll be under that this year.

My kids have way too much stuff already, and they receive gifts from grandparents, uncles and aunts, and friends. If we didn't have so many people giving gifts to our kids, we might spend a L. more on them. I guess a lot of people would like to have my problem of too many gifts and toys. But I get disgusted every month when I see how many toys we donate when we clear out the toy bins to make room for all the new b-day, holiday, and special occasion gifts that keep streaming in.

I try to buy each kid ONE gift each Christmas. I want them to actually remember what they got.

I can't help but wonder if my in-laws think I'm cheap because I spend no more than $25 on each of their kids (my nieces and nephews). They tend to spend at least $50 on each of my kids. There are six kids on just my husband's side of the family! I can't help but wonder if they are spending beyond their means, because I think my husband makes more than they do.

Anyway, I find that with a smaller gift recipient list (I only buy for children and a few select adults) and smaller budget, I am able to relax and enjoy the holiday season much more.

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

Between her father and I, we spent about $200 this year on our daughter (9). She has no living grandparents, and we have no extended family that exchange gifts - we just get together for a meal, no gift exchange. She asked for only modest gifts and no electronics.

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C.C.

answers from Houston on

I see so many answers about Christmas presents.."we don't spend alot because they get tons of presents from the extended families". Do you count on those presents or it is just a way to save you from spending? I get pure joy out of shopping for my family(not on credit cards). I have always been very generous. If you are tight on money...yes I understand...don't forget Toys4Tots or Salvation Army can help out it need be. You have to call them and register your children...no child should go without...just how I am!!!

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C.Z.

answers from Omaha on

I think for my four kids and three of our parents, we spend less than $300. I have never made Christmas about the gifts...it is more about the traditions, the 11pm church service on Christmas Eve, waking up whenever it happens, staying in our pajama's for breakfast and lounging around.

Each of my kids every year get a $25 gift certificate to their favorite store, and something small. They are happy about it, we are happy about it, no one goes broke over Christmas. Ask any of them...they love our Christmas!

I do however, treat my girls to pedicures throughout the year, we go out for lunch (I pay), and if I see something that I think they will like, I buy it for them for no reason. I host family dinner once a week...and on their birthdays, they choose what they want for dinner from nuts to dessert. It has simply never been about the gifts for them.

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R.H.

answers from Boston on

Honestly we take it year by year. This year one of my sisters is having trouble financially for medical reasons. We are all scaling WAY back to accommodate her and her family. In previous years we have spent over $50 per kid, but again, it depends on how the other families are doing and how comfortable everyone feels spending that much. When the money is there, it's really nice to be able to buy a special big-ticket item for the kids. When the money is not there, well, thankfully our family is close enough to realize that we're all in this together, and if one family scales back, we all do.

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3.B.

answers from Cleveland on

WOW WOW WOW!!!!
I am amazed and excited by these answers!
With my first child, I had so much LESS then I do now. But yet found ways to go WAY overboard for him for gifts for EVERY holiday.
Flash forward, and now that I am back in the boat of having L. ones, I am like "WHY???" The holiday is not supposed to be ABOUT gifts. Why go broke to shower your kids with frivelous gifts, that most of which will mean nothing next week?
But unfortunately, our families,especially mine, are about how much you can give each kid. It's ridiculous! Thanks for your post. Makes me feel a lot more grounded!

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A.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I spend less than you. You are not alone!!!! I think it's crazy how overboard people get.

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K.M.

answers from Chico on

Wow! You all are making me feel so much better. We have been struggling financially for the last 3 years. This will be the 4th and I'm feeling so tired of it! Still, each kid will get about $150, worth of gifts, grandpa $75, and my husband and I will buy each other a L. something.. They each will get one "nice" present and several smaller ones. I am taking advantage of thrift shops and other discount type places for some items - our church is having a sale of never-used or gently used donated toys this Sunday and I found a shirt that my son will love at the thrift store. He will never even know it's used. I'm concentrating more on enjoying the season this year and trying to take away some of the stress.

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M.L.

answers from Houston on

I spend less than you. For us and our current finances, even that is a financial hardship. Don't feel bad, most everyone in my family is in the same boat. Not all of us live on credit.

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G.K.

answers from San Francisco on

Personally, I'm with you! I hate how materialistic our society has become, and I get disgusted with my in-laws (and myself to a certain extent) when I look at the Toys R Us mini store in our toy room.

This year, I have decided to teach the true meaning of Christmas and giving to my 5yr and 2yr. We'll be cleaning out a good majority of their toys and taking them to kids in local hospitals and homeless shelters. I think it's very important to minimize the Age of Entitlement and show my kids that they are fortunate to have a home, plenty of food, and clothes to keep them warm. I'm tired of people (adults included) feeling entitled to things and EXPECTING many gifts on Christmas. I give because I want to, and now it's time to give to those who L. or nothing.

Besides, my 2yr daughter would probably be ecstatic to open a gift filled with leaves from outside!!! And don't L. ones usually enjoy the boxes the gifts come in more than the actual gift? :)

Happy Holidays!

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A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

Me too! :) Ours are still too young to care what they get. We don't watch commercials or lurk in toy stores. Since they were born, they just get what relatives send in the mail! My dad sends stocking stuffers, and the other grandparents send some other stuff and voila, tree full of gifts gratis. We spend a bit on things to do or bake, but very L.. And somehow, our Christmases are festive and great! I don't get the major spending, personally. Even when the kids are older, we don't plan to go nuts.

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K.G.

answers from Boca Raton on

I am one of the mom's that asked that question earlier... I think it's all based on your financial situation, your traditions, and a personal choice.
My son is in NO WAY spoiled. "I" actually really enjoy buying presents for my family. And I really enjoy just spending time with them as well...
I don't think there's a right or wrong answer here :0)
Happy Holidays!

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J.K.

answers from Kansas City on

Oh I saw that question too, and I am like you, but I spend a L. more on my kids, around $100. We just enjoy the get togethers, and spending time as a family. The kids get too much, from extended family, so they still have a lot to open.

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J.✰.

answers from San Antonio on

Husband: generally about $50
My 3.5 yr old: Maybe $10, letting grandparents and others do their overboard shopping
Myself: Gotta buy for myself if I want something good, maybe about $40
My neice (only one on my side of the fam): $40
My nephew - 1 yr old (only one on my husband's side): $10-20

So we "underboard" more than most, and allow the grandparents to buy what they want to buy.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

K., I can't even give you a figure because I can't figure out what to give people this year! I wouldn't mind spending a "decent" amount if I could figure out what to give (one friend recommended a Kindle, but I don't know if my son would use it.) My kids are now of an age that I don't know what to get and my husband doesn't need anything but underwear. I give money to my niece in highschool, and the other kids are going to get money too because they are "needy" college students.

We don't do big Christmases, but I've never been so unprepared as I am right now. Ugh!!

Dawn

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J.K.

answers from Cleveland on

This is a great question! I'm with you-I feel people spend waaaaay too much money on gifts. We will usually spend a total of $100 for all 8 nieces and nephews. I also like to get a lot of inexpensive L. items that I know my 2 boys will absolutely love, like puzzles and action heroes. They have soooo many toys already, I just can't justify spending hundreds of dollars on hot new toys that will just sit untouched in a month.

My husband and I have yet to set a budget this year, but we never go crazy with gift buying. I personally would love to get an hour massage (from hubby) instead of any gifts!!!

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M.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Yes, I go completely bananas and if I don't the others in my family do it for me. We all go crazy but it is our tradition. My son has two Christmas's one at home and one at Grandma's and believe me they are both very special. It is one time of the year and we do attend church,and volunteer to help, and donate toys, and wrap for the needy and visit the hospitals too so they have a mix of giving and receiving. Whatever you do is fine because your family only knows your traditions and what works for you.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Someone said they spent $500 on each kid. If you can afford it, great, but I'm not with you. I work very PT.

There are 4 giftees in my family. Each person will get at least one gift and one stocking stuffer from me. DD does get a few more because 1. she's inexpensive and 2. this is her only household. I will also buy on DD's behalf (she's only 3) for the family. We'll get for the "big names" like my mom and there's some extra birthdays thrown in there. If SD gets her DSi "from Santa" that will be most of her gift from us. Truthfully, though, DD will get gifts from family and practically-family and the sks will get a whole extra Christmas with their mom. They will not be without.

For the young adults in the extended fam, it's family time, no gifts or no big gifts. DH has a membership to a range and has offered to take each nephew out shooting as a gift, which will only cost him time, gas and ammo. My SIL can't afford gifts, and my ILs are on a retirement income. We visit, give the wee ones a few baubles, and play board games. We've also done a recycled Christmas after SIL got divorced. We've refocused in the last few years with everything that's been going on.

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J.M.

answers from San Francisco on

I tend to go bigger ticket for my kids for Christmas, only made possible by an accumulator savings account for the holidays. They're teenagers now so their tastes are more expensive, but I used to keep it really modest. And things still are in relative terms. I will spend about $200 on each of them and the 2 y.o. is getting a play kitchen that will be about $100.

But, between all the ILs, grandparents, aunts uncles, etc. they get a LOT of Christmas. So I have never felt bad at all - they have never ever lacked for holiday cheer. And while I don't just try to "save myself money" by counting on gifts from extended family, I do consider it in the grand tally, especially when the teenage boogers are balking at going to so-and-so's house on Christmas.

I have a large extended family and I end up making/baking gifts for many of them because otherwise I'd go bankrupt. On my husband's side, we do a name draw for Christmas and birthdays, limit is $50 for each occasion. Kids get presents until they're 21 then they can opt into the name draw if they want to. That's supposed to be it, except one BIL/SIL just goes absolutely crazy with presents for everyone, like to the point where it's out of control. They go crazy with buying their own kids stuff too. We spend no more than $15 on each L. niece/nephew (teenagers get a $20 bill) and our L. gifts just get lost in the shuffle.

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A.N.

answers from San Francisco on

When my kids were young, all my siblings made a pact for Christmas gifts: We would buy each other's gifts for our own kids; i.e. all our kids would get gifts from each of us, but their own parents were to get them. This way each of us could control how much we wanted to spend on gifts and gave our kids what we knew they wanted. I think it is practical. We then used the kids' birthdays as the chance to give them our personal gifts.

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D.C.

answers from Fresno on

We're getting my daughter a Nook reader (not the tablet) and a case, but only because I saved up gift cards I've received so she can have one (she goes through books faster than anyone I know - this will save tons of space in my house). Otherwise, we probably don't spend more than $40 for any gift. We spend about $20 on my niece and my nephew, no present for my hubby or me, and it varies for our parents, though it's usually not expensive because our parents don't like us spending ANY money on them. Usually I just frame a new picture I've taken on the sly that they don't know about (of my daughter or our family). My daughter already has way too much stuff, so we ask that the grandparents only get her one gift (from each set), then my parents get a couple of things "from Santa". We stress togetherness and being thankful for all we have, instead of the commercialism. Yes, my daughter has a long list for Santa, but she NEVER expects to get all of them. Her birthday was in August and she hasn't even played with everything yet!

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R.J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I usually spend around a 1,000 on christmas granted as the kids get older the gifts get smaller because you cant get what you used to for that amount but that is for everyone kids, me, my husband, dogs, family, neighbor gifts. I have never ever been able to get through christmas for less than that.

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E.D.

answers from Boston on

I admire you. I feel the need to spend, spend and really shouldn't.

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K.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Me! I know you already have a lot of replies, but just wanted to add. I have to travel cross-country to see my family every Christmas, so I hardly spend any money on gifts. I've told my family that our "presence" is their present! Haha! I buy for my niece & nephews, but keep them under $200. I will fill my kids stockings but don't buy them any "big" presents! 1) we can't get them home and 2) they receive so much from our extended family that they start to get bored opening gifts. It's absurd! My favorite thing to ask for for my kids is an event or adventure. Something to do, instead of a toy!

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K.C.

answers from Cleveland on

I usually don't go "underboard" with gifts, but j just had a baby last month and we are trying to be more frugal this year. I've asked my mom to get my daughter some of the more expensive things, so I can get her more of the L. stuff.

I would get her what I think she would like, but its just the matter of money.

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K.G.

answers from Fort Wayne on

Our dd is about $100 for opening presents, she will get a ton from gma/gpa. We do $50 for our only neice, and her mom doew the same for dd. Then for gma/gpa maybe $20 each and nothing for SIL and the reverse is for us. As for what we get eachother this year hubby is getting too much into the gift giving spirit for my comfort, I think he is at $200 for me. Mainly clothes with I need big time. As for him its about the same but just 2 big gifts, a coat which he also desperatly needed and the 2nd gift I am still up in the air with. He kind of gets screwed bc his bday is the 11th so its a bogo for him.

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S.Z.

answers from Reno on

I was raised to believe that, in general, gifts should be small. They're a token, and a way of saying, "I thought about you" or "I appreciate you." Occasionally, someone will get huffy because the gift I bought their kid is a $10 gift, but I try not to let it get to me. It's not about how much money someone has; I don't think it's a good idea to buy extravagent stuff for people who already have a lot of blessings (home, family, friends) in their lives.

I will spend more if I think the person really needs something that I can provide and they can't. My niece is expecting, has no insurance and a small income, so we're considering buying a "big ticket" item that she'll need for the baby.

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J.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

This year we spent too much on our kids... but I wanted a big doll house for my daughter... I look at it as a toy investment. The boys needed things that "match" in impressivness.

That said, I spent less than $100 on each of them.

My nephews and nieces get a gift I spent less than $15 on.

My parents get about $50 gifts.

Other than that, everyone gets homemade stuff.

I feel guilt over what we spent this year, but it will be fun holiday.

✤.J.

answers from Dover on

Most years I spend right around $1,000 total to cover both kids, me, husband, my parents, sister, BIL, nephews, stockings, wrapping paper, EVERYTHING. I have had years where my total was half that. This year it'll be closer to $1500 for 2 reasons: 1. Because we can afford it for the first time in almost a decade & 2. Because I think my kids, husband & I all deserve to be a L. bit spoiled after going without anything special above the bare necessities in a very long time.

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S.R.

answers from McAllen on

Dear K.,
My husband and I keep it to about $10 for each family member. We are not a big family, but about 12 including both mine and husbands family. We do put a lot of thought into our gifts.
We do go crazy with Santa Stuff but that's because we put stuff on layaway through out the year ;).

M.J.

answers from Minneapolis on

im a miser only cause Christmas and Birthdays are not about gifts. My kids get what they want pretty much through out the year. I go about 50-100 on each kid, and about 50 on my spouse, i have a huge family and we exchange names now as not to go broke. We have a 20 to 40$ limit for that. It shouldnt be about gifts.

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