L.D. asks from Dallas, TX on November 08, 2011
Doctors and Extended Breastfeeding Rant. Read Only If Bored..
I've always felt my pediatrician was a little "anti" breast feeding. I breastfed both of my children, pretty much on demand, until they were one. And, even though my children were completely averaged sized, and ate a wide variety of table food, my doctor always cautioned me against too much breastfeeding (Him: they can use you as a pacifier! They might not try other foods! Me: Isnt a mom supposed to sooth?! They eats lots of other food!). My son weened at 13 months, but at 21 months, my daughter still has a 3-4 a day habit.
At my daughter's 15 month appointment, her blood tested in the low side of normal for iron levels (both my sister and I have had low iron levels most of our lives). The first question about her diet that he asked is "Is she still breastfeeding?" And when I said, "Yes" he went on and on and on about milk quantities and how that is the problem. Milk can inhibit the absorption of iron, and when you are breastfeeding 4 times a day, you have no idea how much milk she is getting and on and on... When he stopped for air, I mentioned that we dont eat any red meat at our house, but could add it into her diet. I also said that at daycare she only drank water, and at home she rarely drank milk from a cup so I thought she was probably getting a normal amount of milk.
I started substituting ground beef for the ground turkey we normally use, and at the next appointment, iron levels good, but still more warnings about too much milk! You dont know how much she is getting! Like she is just drinking gallons and gallons of breast milk in the 30 minutes she nurses a day. So crazy and I just chalked it up to my eccentric old man pediatrician UNTIL.....
This weekend, I had the flu and went to a primacare and saw a female doctor. In the course of my checkup, I mentioned that my breast was really sore and ached and could that be part of the flu, or could it be mastitis? The primacare doctor asked how old my daughter was and how often she breastfed. When I said she was 21 months and nursed 3-4 times a day, the primacare doctor looked shocked and talked a while about how unusual it was for a child that old to nurse that often, and then went on to ask about my daughters weight and eating habits. Is she small? (no) Does she eat other foods? (yes) and then went on to say that my breast soreness was probably from having an older child nursing - that they are so rough and damaging! And then started counseling me that I should ween her - before she even looked at my breast to see if she thought I had mastitis.
So does it seem like these doctors are against extended breastfeeding, or does it seem like I am being overly sensitive?
And, for the record, I do plan on weening her soon. Part of not weening her is a little bit of working moms guilt - she is in daycare all day, and she REALLY likes breastfeeding after daycare, before bed, and when she gets up in the morning, and I hate to take it away from her, when its not a problem for me.
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So What Happened?™
Thank you all for your supportive and thoughtful responses.
A couple of you mentioned iron supplement drops and I wanted to share this side story - I DID get iron supplement drops for my daughter at the doctors request. She took them once and hated them. They smelled and tasted terrible. I closed them up and put them at the top of the armoire behind a picture frame in the kids room (its next to the changing table) and forgot about them. Two months later my then 2 year old son woke up from a nap moaning and vomiting. He had gotten the iron supplements, undone the childproof cap, and drank half the bottle. After 8 hours in the emergency room, he came home just fine, but I found out that overdoing on iron supplements is the leading cause of death in children under the age of 6. So far, as a mom, this has been the scariest thing that has happened. Keep those iron drops or tablets under lock and key!
On the breastfeeding subject - your answers made me reflect, and I realized that I feel that the decision about when to ween a child is to me, up to the mom and the child. I resent my doctor pressing it when there are other more viable options available. However, it has also given me even more sympathy for the formula moms. If someone questions a breastfeeding mom even once, everyone gets upset. How dare they?! People question formula moms ALL THE TIME - "Ohhh... why arent you breastfeeding?" or "So the breastfeeding didnt work out/was too hard...? "You know, breast really is best!" "Well, maybe it will work out with your next baby." I think if I was a formula mom, all of THOSE questions would seem intrusive and irritating and upsetting. They all imply that the mom is doing a bad job, just like a doctor asking if my child is small (ie undernourished) because she still breastfeeds imply that I am doing something wrong.
Many of you suggested I get a new pediatrician. Every time I start the process, I go to our regular pediatrician and have a really good visit, and think, "Ok! I DO like him!" and then things go ok for a while, and then another wacka doodle visit again.
Thanks for all of your support. It was really needed and appreciated.
Featured Answers
A.W. answers from Kalamazoo on November 08, 2011
Let it go in one ear and out the other........
Poor them for being so uneducated and close minded.
You do what you think is right.
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K.D. answers from Provo on November 08, 2011
Wow. Sounds like you got a couple of weirdo docs who have not read the latest recommendations from the APA. The recommendation is that you breastfeed for a year. Then at a year, that you continue as long as both participants are willing and happy with it. The World Health Organization recommendation is for 3 years of breastfeeding -- so you are still well within those guidelines.
And good job keeping it up for that long!!
4 moms found this helpful
P.G. answers from Dallas on November 08, 2011
I breastfed till my son was 2.5, but he only BF'd in the morning and evening. If she's actually getting a lot of milk, and not just sucking for comfort, perhaps he's right in terms of how it's affecting her diet.
But yes, some docs just don't get extended BFing because as a nation, we didn't start doing it again till recently.
2 moms found this helpful
More Answers
T.K. answers from Dallas on November 08, 2011
I think you have 2 medical professionals, independantly giving you the same advice. Not anti-breastfeeding advice, but pro-nutrition advice. They both listed the same concerns, because those are valid, medical concerns. There was no opinion, or judgement of personal choices, only medical opinion based on education and experience. I am very pro-breastfeeding, but something that is good, is not always the highest virtue. There still has to be room for growth and understanding on the part of the parent to take in new information and ideas and listen to big picture advice.
9 moms found this helpful
B.D. answers from Pittsburgh on November 08, 2011
I am not so sure it is doctors being anti-extended breastfeeding it is doctors being anti-breastfeeding period.
I'm sorry you had to go through this. I would find a new doctor/pediatrician. They should respect your decision to prolong breastfeeding as long as it is not detrimental to you or your child.
For the record my pediatrcians NEVER asked me if my child had weaned or when I planned on weaning. I was told up front that they like you to breastfeed the first year of life and that was as far as the discussion went. They never overstepped their bounds and asked again. That's what I call a good pediatrician :-)
7 moms found this helpful
M.M. answers from Philadelphia on November 08, 2011
What can I say about the uneducated? What part of medical school ignores the facts? Is it because of big Pharmaceuticals relationship to Doctors and formula? I'm not exactly sure. The facts are on the side of breastfeeding and I never understood the gap. That is one of the best things in your daughter's life at this time. I am so proud of you.
I have been mothering since 1989 and am currently breastfeeding almost 2 yr. old twin boys. I have tried it both ways (western and LLL). I have seen the evidence before my very eyes. It is so much about the emotional at her age, but I am really starting to think it's nutritional as well.
Like, come on, how is it that according to my ped, the milk is nutritious the day before one year old, but not the day after??
I am sorry you have this struggle, but check out the facts from a reliable, no connection to big Pharm, and reconfirm why you are a fantastic mother.
Sometimes we are intimidated by doctors and people with degrees. They don't know everything. Even M. Obama, who I like in many ways, but also disagree with in many ways, supports breastfeeding.
God bless you and stay strong,
M.
7 moms found this helpful
S.M. answers from Dallas on November 08, 2011
I hear you! It's them not you! both my kids weaned at 2 1/2. it isn't common in this culture, but that doesn't mean it isn't normal. it is actually totally normal and healthy. it just isn't commonplace.
6 moms found this helpful
A.W. answers from Kalamazoo on November 08, 2011
Let it go in one ear and out the other........
Poor them for being so uneducated and close minded.
You do what you think is right.
6 moms found this helpful
S.C. answers from Des Moines on November 08, 2011
Ok, since my son will be 4 on January 24th and STILL isn't weaned I might be biased the other way, but nursing a toddler/preschooler has been one of the more relaxing aspects of motherhood so far.
How many times as a Mom do you get to NOT worry? When nursing a toddler you do NOT have to worry about supply or hauling a ____@____.com pump to work because they're eating good and drinking from a cup. On the days they don't eat good you do NOT have to worry because you know they'll nurse more that night. On the days that involve a drive thru you can feel less guilty knowing the junk is balanced out with nature's perfect health food. If you have a comfort nurser, when they're sick you do NOT have to worry about dehydration. I think my son is FINALLY realy weaning-- he was sick a couple of weeks ago and for the first time he didn't comfort nurse through it so I had to actually WORRY about pushing fluids and dehydration.
Also if you really want to wean her soon I would do it NOW-- it's VERY common for them to start nursing a LOT more around 22-24 months so if you wait it'll be more of a battle-- until the next lull. Personally since we're just starting cold and flu season I'd probably wait until the NEXT lull to wean her....but definitely pick a time to wean when she's NATURALLY down to around 3 times a day, it'll be easier!
Oh, and for the record the most rough and damaging age in my experience is 8-10 months. When they're first discovering the world and want to see it ALL, RIGHT NOW, and don't unlatch to look around!!!
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★.O. answers from Tampa on November 08, 2011
I completely understand where you are coming from... I allowed my first born to self wean - which was 4.5 years old. From 3 years on, she only nursed maybe 3 times a day or at great times of stress or pain. I had to fight with my daughter's pediatricians for the first 2 years... they kept trying to force the issue with supplementing with formula and weaning. Their excuse was her growth chart had a slow increase rather than leaps of increased weight. My daughter has a small frame and is long and lean - finally reached 43lbs and 43in at 6 y/o!!
There is NOTHING wrong with allowing your child to decide when she/he is ready to wean and put that special type of nutrition, immune fortifing, soothing, comforting and loving aspect of their childhood into their own hands.
Medical Doctors are not trained in what breastfeeding does/how it benefits both child and Mother/how long it's beneficial/etc. It's a small paragraph in their hundreds of books, because breastfeeding is not deemed important in this nation.
***breastmilk is the most densely packed nutritional consumable you can have - it has every single necessary component a human being needs at any age***
6 moms found this helpful
C.O. answers from Washington DC on November 08, 2011
Your doctor/pediatrician has no bedside manners. That much is obvious. The fact that they discourage breast feeding is obvious to me. I would have changed doctors if they did not promote breast feeding.
Greg nursed until he was 23 months old. Nicky self-weaned at 12 months.
If low iron levels run in your family - take the precautions or necessary steps to keep her iron levels up.
Switch doctors - find one who has a tad bit more compassion when dealing with their patients.
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