Do You Worry Your Baby Is Just Going to Die?

A therapist might be good. I had a sister who died of sids and I had a cousin that was a stillborn so when I was pregnant yes I was worried (and I do have bad anxiety, love my meds for it!!) even after the complications that I had with my last pregnancy (twins) I waited until they were over the age of 2 to get my tubes tied, I don't know why age 2. My therapist has helped out quite a bit!

I think concern and worry is a part of pregnancy.

However if it's debilitating, I think you should talk with a professional. There's no need for you to suffer needlessly.

You said "It's insane I know" and "I sound like a looney tune" - if YOU think it's crazy, then talk with someone.

So normal. I still do this with my dd and she is 7. My friend was laughing at me because I still go in to my daughters room when she is sleeping to check that she is breathing. :-) My mom asked me a few months ago "Do you think in 20 years your dd's hubbie will be happy when you are calling him in the middle of the night to check if she is breathing". lol

i would say this is just from you not being able to take our meds. my daughter never moved much at all when i was preg. with her. i think you will have piece of mind when you get to hold her in your arms. i can only imagine what you go through with a panic disorder. it couldnt hurt to mention it to your obgyn.

I'm sure once you deliver and can take anxiety meds you will be back to your usual self. Would help you to go to therapy, or meditate, try yoga? I don't know my anxiety is only bad when I have o go to court deal with my ex. I worried a little about SIDS but I did not let my worries consume me. I'm sure the pregnancy hormones have you more on edge too.

You aren't looney, and have been given a lot of good advice here. I do agree with everyone who suggests talking with someone. An anxiety disorder is no picnic to live with, even with meds. Having a counselor to help contain these fears, and to ground them (boy, speaking them out really puts them outside oneself and having someone healthy examine them with you-- that is exactly what therapy is about!) will help you breathe easier. It's also important to be aware of PPD signs after baby is born too, and to look now for resources. There's no shame in having anxiety or postpartum depression-- the only sad thing is not to do anything about it, because inevitably, the mother and her family all suffer needlessly. There's great support out there that can help you enjoy your pregnancy more. You deserve it!

So this fear is kind of normal, only you know if it is preventing you from being "healthy." I mean, sometimes I get up in the middle of the night to check on my kids, but I still mostly can go about my life without disolving into panic. If you can't, then yes, you should see someone.

Hormones really do a number on you. But whatever the cause, don't be embarrassed to tell your doctor. If the anxiety is overwhelming, you shouldn't have to live with it.

Good luck.

I think your anxiety is intensified by your pregnancy hormones... I didn't have baby death anxiety, but I did have INTENSE road anxiety. I could barely stay in the car long enough to get to the store. It HAS gotten much better on it's own after giving birth... I think it is normal to have these fears though, but maybe not as intensely as you are. I would ask your doctor about it, and maybe he/she can tell if it is severe enough to refer you to someone else. I know that while I am not super anxious about it, I do randomly fear for my baby's life... I will have to check on her in the middle of the night to make sure she is still breathing, or I will imagine the crazy things that could possibly happen... even if they aren't very likely.

I suffered from panic disorder when I was in college. I had a Xanax script that I only used when it was really bad, but I went to a psychologist that specialized in anxiety disorders, and that is ultimately what helped. I've been panic attack free now for 16 years! I highly recommend finding one- taking care of your anxiety changes your life.
Wish you the best !! :)

Did you feel like this with your first two children?

Your not a looney toon haha, you are a mother. I worry about this too, and did while I was pregnant, I think it comes with the territory but if it is giving you this much grief then you should talk to your doctor about options for you.

Both my sister and I have issues with anxiety and panic attacks. Both of us have had meds for such issues, I felt more "normal" and more "grounded" while pregnant than any other time in my life, my sister dealt with a lot of anxiety...creepy scary stuff that she did not wanting to see the light of day like fearing due to lack of sleep she would accidently put the baby in the oven (??) terrible scary things...Talking to your doctor helps reassure you, and there are some medications that are supposed to be safe to take while pregnant. I would talk to your doctor and then also look into some ways to relax and put your mind at ease, soothing music to listen to, calming tea
( just make sure it is safe for pregnant mothers, just because it is All Natural is no certainty that it is safe) I hope I did not scare you more...I just wanted to give you an example, because well, I think my sister is the best mom in the world and she would Never hurt her kids and has the patience of a saint, but when we have anxiety our worst fears can really torment us.

I think that some fears and anxieties are normal, especially when hormones are running rampant and you sound like you have your hands full with three kids already, so you're probably really stressed and busy. With my first baby, I had fears that I would drop her. They were these really irrational fears--I was really scared that I would drop her and she would die or have some horrible head injury. (It never happened, of course).

But since you have an anxiety disorder already, it will probably help you a lot to see a therapist about it; at the very least, to have someone to talk to about your anxieties. Do you practice yoga or meditation? I've heard that these help a lot. My mom has meditation CDs that she says help her to relax and deal with her anxiety. These are just some ideas. Hang in there, and congratulations on your new baby!

You are not crazy. You are pregnant, hormonal, raising 3 kids already and TIRED! Do whatever you can to relax, think of positive things, do things like taking nice long walks or getting a massage or anything else that helps cheer you up - even getting your nails done or something. I completely feel for you and definitely talk to someone you trust - maybe a close friend, or a rabbi, pastor or priest you trust? Good luck to you!

When I was pregnant with my third child, I had this irrational fear that I was going to die. It was so bad that I finally broke down, crying to my husband about this fear. I had kept it from him from most of my pregnancy until it become so overwhelming that I needed to share it with him. Obviously I didn't die because I'm typing to you.....and I happen to be pregnant yet again, with my 4th baby. I would have to say that your fears really have nothing to do with your anxiety disorder except that maybe your disorder is making it worse. I believe our pregnancy hormones play a monumental role in the feelings we have, no matter how rational (or not) they may be. Talk to you OB about your concerns. He/she has seen this probably many times and he/she would be the best person to work with you, reminding you of all that you should expect, should you have forgotten about some things concerning the birth of your baby.

You can definitely develop pregnancy paranoia (about the baby's health/development or your health) while pregnant. It's a common symptom. I was paranoid that I'd would eat something or inadvertently do something that would hurt the baby. I mean, doesnt everyone think that they will be the one to make the monstrosity baby at some point during their pregnancy?!

I have a friend who was getting her 1st ultra sound... The tech said, "oh, I hear 2 heart beats." She immediately sat up and said, "oh no! My baby has 2 hearts?!"--Because she was convinced that something would be wrong... (no, just 2 perfectly healthy twins).

I've hear that pregnancy paranoia sometimes develops into post-partum depression. So make sure your doctor knows how your feeling, especially in the first few months afterbirth.

You are absolutely NOT looney tunes! I had anxiety attacks when my daughter was little. I worried about everything....she would die, I would die and leave her motherless, any and everything else. I definitely think you should talk to your OB/Gyn about it, but you have to keep yourself busy so that you don't think about it. That's way easier said than done, but you just have to trust God that everything is going to be ok.

I have never had this disorder and yes, there were times I have really had reason to worry about this.. My husband is a "Doom, doom, doom" person.

I just had to remind him to love her and to not waste the energy, the positive time and turn her into a worrier, by focusing so much worry on her..

Do whatever it takes to make your self emotionally and physically the best you can be.
I am sending you strength.

You are not crazy, and yes, I think we all worry/worried when we were pregnant, and even for months and month afterward (I used to get up in the middle of the night, even when I was completely sleep deprived, to check and see if the baby was breathing when he was a newborn).

If you can't take meds during pregnancy, do get help from a counselor. Cognitive behavior therapy might really help you redirect that anxious energy and help you get through your anxiety attacks.

I had similar fears. I would not buy maternity clothes until my 12th week sonogram so I had to wear the only pair of pants that fit for two weeks straight. I refused to take anything out of packages from my baby showers. I wouldn't put together a nursery either. Finally at 8 months I decided I better get things ready for this baby because she's coming! The first two weeks of her life I cried every night because I knew she was going to die of SIDS. She is 8 months old now and the anxiety has definitely lessened, but I still check her twenty times before I go to bed and sometimes get up in the night to check on her. I don't think what you're feeling is abnormal. However, if it becomes all you can think about or if it's keeping you from functioning each day, then you may need to seek some help.

I think it is healthy to an extent. I am 22 weeks now and if I don't feel him kicking for a while I worry. After I work out I worry- did I work out to hard, what if while doing cardio the cord wrapped around something. But I don't think it all the time. or that often. If this is something that you are thinking more than you think is appropriate, its probably best to talk to someone. They will probably help you identify where these thoughts are coming from.
Whatever you decide, I hope you have a healthy and enjoyable rest to your pregnancy and congrats!

You should talk to your ob. This is not normal but it happens. For your health and your children's health, you really ought to take steps to get this under control (which should be fairly easy with the right treatment).

I agree to do yoga. I would not think it would hurt to talk this out through your pregancy with some counsolor. Just to get it off your chest. No good to keep it all inside and letting it take over. I was scared when the baby did not move. But I learned to find ways to make it move....certain foods or drinks. All mommies get worried of the birth and recovery...but you said you have 3 wonderful children ???? So you will be just fine !

God bless

I had the same thing too after several miscarriages. When she was born and looked blackish purple, I thought she was oxygen deprived and nearly fainted out of fear. Hang in there.

I do not have an anxiety disorder but after multiple miscarriages I worried from the instant I found out I was pregnant until the instant my girls were born and I held them safe in my arms. I also worried about SIDS. My oldest slept in our room until around 9 months when we transitioned her to her crib. I have a video monitor mounted in her room...she's four and 1/2...it's still there. I can not sleep comfortably without the sound of her breathing. My baby is now 9 months and still sleeps in our room. She was born with tracheomalacia and the fear of her airway collapsing it very present in our minds. Who knows when I'll feel comfortable transitioning her to her own room. I think every Mommy worries about their little ones and I don't know that the fear of loss every truly goes away but it does ease with time and from what I can tell with my family/friends it's perfectly normal. Given your anxiety disorder I'm sure you have it a bit more extreme especially with your hormones raging right now. Try to relax and enjoy this pregnancy. Good Luck and God Bless!

I would def talk with the doc as soon as you are able too.

But - I had the same anxiety while pregnant. I turned my anxiety into obsessing about cleaning ?? Not sure why, but with all my pregnancies my house and every where I went was ridiculously clean. It was like I couldn't control it. I could - I just focused on cleaning stuff and trying to rid my anxiety that way. I used it as my outlet, I guess if thats how you want to say it.

You are not a looneytune. I am sure this happens to a lot of women. I used to feel that way. I established escape routes in my head on the Ducks in Wisconsin dels in case it capsized. I planned how to get out of windows and doorways should something happen, when they were in school I would turn around and drive miles home if I had a bad vibe and check the answering machine to see if anyone called about them. When 911 happened I sat wondering if I should dig them out of school and bring them home (how I'd save them there in that circumstance I wasn't sure). My son actually came home from visits in the service and I would go into his room and stare at him in the dark to see if he was alive and okay. (Scared the heck out of him!) Talk to us, it eventually works out. I was feeling looneytunes, and they eventually moved out and now I worry about them living somewhere else, well maybe not quite as much, I only check Facebook all the time to see if they are okay (I don't really say anything) and I still check the phone all the time. What's a mother to do?

You DO NOT, sound like a looney tune.I think many women, can relate to what your going through and I hope you receive many replies, showing you your not alone.

I haven't any medical training, but I'd venture to say, this coming over you during/after, childbirth, could be attributed to hormones. After the birth of my first child, I was consumed, with horrible scenarios running through my head, in which my baby died. I was too afraid to tell anyone. Sometimes the thoughts would bring me to tears. My unrational thoughts, one day, sent me flying out the door at work, without a word to anyone. I jumped in my car, and drove like a maniac, to get to the baby-sitter's. The feeling my baby needed me, was in imminent danger, and would be killed it I didn't get there immediately, filled and propelled me, to react.

Once I'd learned my baby was just fine, it took only a moment or two, for reality to set in and with it, came the knowledge that what I just did, was totally irrational. I don't remember what I said or what happened when I walked back in, the office door. I do remember the feelings of dread and embarrassment, I had, driving back to work.

That was the turning point for me. My baby was about 4 months old. I talked to other woman, mom, sister, aunts, best girlfriend. Hearing other's stories, of what they feared would be there newborns demise, made me realize, I wasn't going crazy. After that, when any dark thoughts or worry, came over me, I'd tell myself your being over the top. I'd make myself think of 2 or 3 other scenarios, then think, which of these would be, most likely to occur? And I would replay that over and over, in my head. Then once again, if the horrible thoughts tried to creep in. I don't know if, doing this actually helped me. Maybe, it just happened to be, the time that my system returned, to it's before childbirth state

You are doing the right thing, sharing and asking for advice. If I had it to do over again, I would seek professional help, before or as soon as I realized it, to be impacting my everyday life or work, in a negative way.

Maybe talking to a counselor or psychologist, once a week or every couple of weeks, would be beneficial, help you over the hump. I've heard of putting, thoughts to paper. when trying to release, unwanted thoughts or feelings.

If finances, are a problem in seeking counseling you could call your county's Human Assistance department for your city's mental health for free or based on a sliding scale. It make take weeks or a couple of months to get an appointment, so it wouldn't hurt to make an appointment, the first chance you get. You can always cancel it, a day or two before if you don't feel it's needed and it might be a comfort to know that help is just around the corner.