Do You Trust Your Parents to Take Care of Your Toddler?

While I don't feel fantastic about my parents taking care of my son (17 months) for extended period of time (a few months ago, we took off for a week and they watched him) I know it is because I am just uncomfortable that they do things differently than me.....but because their ways were not unsafe, we did it. No one can provide the kind of care that we, as their parents, could do - but as long as the family members are safe - I would be okay with it. But, if your parents aren't regularly changing his diaper and aren't giving him enough water....this would probably be enough for me to decide against it. You won't be able to enjoy your time away if you are so worried.

By the way, when I did leave my son with my mom - I left her a MANUAL, yes an actual manual that I made with his schedule, sample things for him to eat at each meal, medical info, etc. I also checked in with her a couple times a day. I figured my mom may not do it as I would, but she raised me and my brothers to be happy, healthy and safe so I tried to look past the monor differences.

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I would answer "NO". My brother in laws's brother and his wife went on vacation out of the country. Left their 2 year old with her mother. Crossing the street...2 year old gets out of Grandmas grip...runs in front of moving car. And yes it was a fatality. It only takes 1 time...sorry....sad...but true.

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My mother died six years before our daughter was born, and my father had no experience taking care of children. My then-husband's parents were also deceased. We had no family or close friends to leave our daughter with, ever. It was hard on our marriage to have no time alone together.

It seems that your parents successfully raised you. I wonder if the things you are concerned about are an issue of their age? Or if you could give a few suggestions and they would change their approach?

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M., it's okay to not trust them. You have mama instincts for a reason and you NEED to listen to what your instincts are telling you.

I do trust my parents, but they have given me every reason to trust them. I can trust my inlaws now because we have laid out some pretty firm ground rules that many people don't even have to think about, but before, my husband and I couldn't trust them to have good judgement in regard to our kids.

Just because a person makes it through childhood and becomes a good, responsible adult does NOT mean that their parents automatically did a good job raising them. My brother in law is a prime example. He's a FANTASTIC guy and came from a crappy homelife and he and my sister can't trust his parents to take good care of their kids.

So, the bottom line is that you need to do what is right for your family, not what is right for someone else. If you don't trust a grandparent to take good care of your child you should NOT feel bad. Your child's well being is the most important thing.

Someday I want to be a grandparent like MY parents. They really want to honor mine and my husbands wishes and want to do the BEST job of caring for our kids, realizing that THEY are not the parents. I have so much respect and gratitude for their humble attitude.

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I definitely trust my parents to care for my baby and my preschooler. Sure they do things I'm not so crazy about (letting the older one eat too much junk, letting him watch too much TV) and they do things that nowadays people do NOT do (covering my baby up with a blanket). However, I figure they can spoil their grandsons since they don't get to watch them too often and as for the things that we just don't do nowadays (the blanket), I just leave a sleep sack and say I'm paranoid about SIDS please use this. The end. Doesn't hurt her feelings. Times are a changing. She gets it. However, never would I say I don't trust them. They raised ME! I wouldn't be here today if it weren't for them.

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I'm lucky that I do trust my mom to take care of my son. However, that isn't to say that we don't have dissagreements about the best way to care for him! The way I look at it is this, she did a fine job raising my brother and I, and as long as we discuss my expectation up front, things should work out well. Of course, my mom always makes sure my son has plenty to drink, and snacks available if he even starts to act like he "might" be hungry. I would recommend talking to your parents about your concerns, and gradually work up to a night away with your husband. Give them the chance, since they obviously want to help, but make sure they know what your expectations are up front about the care provided for your child.

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Ha, my parents are in their 70's and in better shape than most people in their 50's.. They work out at least 3 times a week, they walk every morning and afternoon.. Sharp as a tack.

I think it depends on the person.. If you really do not think they can handle it, meaning injuring your child.. fine. But if they just want to do it "their way," let them..

They did raise you.

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Not trusting isn't the right word but I don't leave my kids completely in my parents care for very long. My dad's health is really bad and his moods can get downright nasty. His temper can get short and it's not pretty. My mom lost her sense of smell years ago. She can not smell when the littest one is poopie. Poor thing has gotten some of the most painful diaper rashes because she doesn't get changed because my mom doesn't know she needs it. There are other things like that. She will come over to watch the kids while I get things done in the house but I would not leave them for any real length of time if I don't have to.

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I trust my mother 100% without hesitation. I trust my dad, when supervised by my mom, about 75% (he wasn't the most hands-on dad for us). I trust my in-laws about 50%, and even that is with hesitation. They just seemed to have forgotten how to anticipate potential problems, and my MIL is far more concerned with analyzing exactly what she is eating every day than worrying about changing diapers, giving baths, providing snacks, and playing with them. My FIL would want to take them in the car without a carseat. My in-laws are in their late 60s, but it has been way too long since they've had regular interaction with small kids, so I think they've forgotten how to do it. (Not to mention that my MIL's mother pretty much raised my hubby and his sister, because his mom was a doctor with her own clinic).

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I 100% trust my parents to take care of my children at ANY age. The raised 3 girls, so they can handle *my* 3 girls :o)

I trusted my in-laws once my girls were old enough to communicate their needs to them - ie, "I'm hungry grandma"....so around 18 months or so. OR, for very short periods of time when they were babies; enough time for hubby and I to see a matinee or something similar. I'm leary about leaving all 3 with them just because they seem overwhelmed by how much noise and how busy 3 girls under 6 can really be.

Both sets of grandparents are in their 50s, healthy and active.

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To answer your question, YES, I trust my parents 100% to take care of my children.

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Hell no I don't trust my parents to watch my kids. None of the Same reasons you have but I have my reasons,

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Maybe when your son is older and can take care of some things for himself (like not in diapers anymore, can tell them when he needs a drink or can get it for himself) he can be left with your parents. Don't feel bad for not wanting to leave him with them, it doesn't mean they are bad grandparents at all--they're just out of practice of taking care of little people since they haven't done it in so long. Just stick with short little outings and let the little things go.

I would leave my kids with my mom for a day or two, but not much longer than that. She's the queen of plugging kids into the TV and feeding them way too much sugar and happy meals. My mother in law is wonderful and I would leave my kids with her for a long period if I knew it didn't wear her out so much (She's 60 and her husband doesn't help at all--he's the worst couch potato i've ever met). When my babes are older they will definitely be going to Nana and PopPops house for "summer camp" every summer haha

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We had zero help when our boys were small. When they got a little older, I made the mistake twice of letting them stay for a very short while with my mom. The first time she left her gun where the boys could get it. Fortunately, they didn't. When I walked in the door to pick them up, my youngest picked up a paper sack from the floor. My mom screamed "Oh baby! Put that down!" I asked what was in it--her gun!
A few years later when she was visiting us, she talked us in to leaving them with her to go to a movie. We didn't have time to go to dinner so we went through a drive through and ate on the way to the movie. When we got there, the line was around the bldg--this has never happened before at our local theatre. So, we were disappointed and just decided to go home. Thank goodness we did. She had told my son he could turn on the gas fireplace. When we opened the door, the odor nearly knocked us down. They did not know to open the flue. They would have all died if we hadn't come home.
So you know what my answer is.

my mom- nope I made the mistake of trusting my moms with my kids once when I went out of town- big HUGE mistake there were a million phone calls and things that she was supposed to do that she didnt and letting my (then 5 year old) ride around in the front seat of the car without seat belts- Oh ya driving MY car -. When my sister came home from out of the country last year we decided to go out and she left her 2 year old in the care of my Mother(yes I warned her) in the time we were gone she managed to finish off an entire bottle of wine while the little one just wandered around 1 hour after bed time. so NO I do not leave my kids with my mom. My MIL however yes I trust her completly.

My boys are older now (7 and 13), but my parents have kept both of the boys from the time they were born. We're lucky though. My parents live nearby and see the boys all the time. My mom and I parent the same way, and everything goes smoothly when my parents babysit. They have kept the boys many times when we have gone on trips without the boys, and it has always worked out well.

My Mom watches my kids 4 days a week while I'm at work. I know there's not another caretaker on this earth that loves my kids more than my Mom. My Mom is not perfect, but I know she is an awesome Grandma and she did a great job raising my brothers and I, so I completely trust her with my kids. I just wish she would not bring over candy so often though!

I am just allowing my parents to do an overnight now that my daughter is three. I trust them in principle, but now that she is verbal and can climb stairs, etc by herself, I feel much better about thier physical ability to do what is necessary.

I left my 3yo with my mother once for 6 hours when I was 23 weeks pregnant with our second and I had to go to the hospital. Obviously an emergency situation but I will never do it again. I didn't want to do it in the first place but she was the only person available. I left explicit instructions as I had already planned something like this might occur. She disregarded everything. We do not have a good relationship to begin with and this just made it worse. When my child was born I had my in-laws come and they live 5 hours away. My mother is also very self-centered, needs drama and instead of playing with my child will plop her in front of the tv. She also tends to forget to turn off the oven, periodically thinks her phone is bugged and that people are spying on her. So no I do not trust my mother. Yes I turned out fine but I think it had more to do with my father and my older siblings.

My son is very energetic and spirited. He was the type of toddler who would bolt when he didn't want to comply (while laughing at you) or sometimes just because his curiosity got the best of him. My parents are not physically up the challenge of chasing a toddler to begin with!
Now that he is older (5) and we have put a considerable amount of effort into disciplining him he is at the point where he can stay with them. This fall my DH and I enjoyed our first weekend away while my parents watched our son. Don't consider this a forever thing, just an until he's older thing. Your child will become more independent and internalize the house rules with time.

When my parents were here (they live in CA and I live in VA) they came for 2 months. Yes, I trusted them to take care of Greg.

Nope. No way. They are 70 and in no way quick enough to grab him or catch him. I see people do nutty things. I have a friend who leaves her 4 year old with her 86 year old grandmother! I would not look at anyone else or their situation. Trust your instincts. Some of us just don't have the grandparent option. Oh well. Nothing I would ever need to do other then a health emergency is worth the risk to my son.

I have my doubts with my mom too, and I never leave my LO with her. Its for different reasons tho. Whenever my 16 month old is acting out, she feel like she have the right to discipline him by hitting his hands of butt. If I dont hit him, what make her think she has the right to do it! With all of that, she is the last person that comes to mind when I need a babysitter.

I trust my in laws, and my dad absolutely... but we are currently living with my in laws, so they know exactly what to expect with her. My dad is still raising my 5 year old brother, so I know that he is still able to keep up with young kids. My mom, not so much. She does too many drugs, and is waay too unstable for me to leave my DD alone with her, ever.

Although, everyone I mentioned is physically capable of chasing her around too. I'm sure that makes a huge difference.

For me its not that I dont trust them...its just that neither my parents nor my in laws are physically able to keep up with twin 1 yr olds who are in to everything, and both my mom and my m-i-l think that it is grandmas are supposed to let them do whatever and play with allmost anything.

My dad is 86 and a yeller - he couldn't and probably wouldn't want to even if he lived close. In an emergency, of course, but for regular care, nope. I would never leave my son with my mother. I survived her, but I'm not taking chances with my son.

Every situation is different. If they are older and forgetful and it makes you uncomfortable, that's ok. A few hours is good, but if they really can't do the extended time, don't beat yourself up if you don't want to go there with them.

My parents are 50 and 58 and yes, l absolutely trust them to watch my girl! The first time I left her with them was so hubby and I could go see a movie--she was only about 3 weeks old! It was hard to leave her--even just for a few hours. Now she has only stayed overnight a few times, but LOVES to be with them! Next month, hubby and I are going on a mini vacation for our anniversary for 5days/4nights in Las Vegas... our girl will be staying with gramma & grampa the whole time (she's almost 3)! They will have her for the weekend and then take her to daycare for 3 days! I'm a little nervous, but that's just because this will be the first time both mama & daddy have been away (I've gone out of town for work 2 times for 5 days each time)!

She behaves much better for them than she does for us... and of course, they let her "get away with" a lot more than we do... They do things very different than we do, but I say, Let the Grandparents spoil her! Who cares about a crooked diaper, dirty cup, or drinking "too much" KoolAid?? Let the baby enjoy his/her grandparents!

Each and every mother and family has to answer this one individually, based completely up your personal experience with them as caregivers.

In my family, no way, would I leave a child with either of my parents, back then in their 60's. But I would have left my children with my in-laws, in their 80's. My in-laws speak a different language, would also not understand new diapers..but would be very loving and protective and feed them super healthy foods.

No one will ever replace you and your ways. It's just not possible.

I don't do things the way my grown kids do but I do take good care of the grandkids when I have them. I'm not quite 70 though and have raised kids and babysat others over the years so maybe it's the difference in ability to do the job but I will say if the parents tell me to do this or not do this I respect their wishes. I don't give food they don't want or things like that. I can put diapers on well, etc. I would feel so badly if I wasn't allowed to have this privilege of having the kids overnight, etc. I would say it depends on the safety of the kids according to the ability of the grandparents but maybe you could have someone stay there with the grandparents to help out with the new 'inventions' such a disposable diapers, etc. :-) That would let them help and feel like they can see the kids and you get away and not worry and someone there to over see that you trust. I think it would be worth that to let them see the kids and feel like they are helping out at the same time.

Hell no! My dad has major health issues and was frankly a horrible parent who screamed and ruled by fear and the belt. My stepmother is sweet enough, but has health issues. Just not worth it to me...

My mom - ABSOLUTELY. She lives within 5 minutes and the kids know her very well. She has taken care of them over night, and everything has gone fine.

My dad - ABSOLUTELY. He lives 1,500 miles away, but comes to visit at least 6 times a year, and spends long periods of time with us. He is even talking about coming and spending the winters with us full time now that he is retired. :)

My husband's parents - absolutely not.... They don't know our kids. They have met our son maybe 6 times in the last 3 1/2 years, our daughter (who is soon turning 2) three times. They have had opportunities to see the kids, but have not wanted to or have done other things instead. When they do visit, they will often go off on their own and do their own thing rather than spending time with the kids. When we have visited them, they give us very specific times to come over.

My mom watches my 20 month old about once a week (but I am home working - I work from home) She doesn't do things exactly how I like, but if I tell her not to do something again or before she ever does it she will follow my wishes. I would not however let her watch my son where she lives, it is not baby proofed and I would be too afraid of him getting hurt there. I still wouldn't feel comfortable leaving him with her overnight even in my own house.

My MIL - no way I refuse to let her watch my son. She doesn't have the attention span to watch him that my mom does. She is someone that complains that she doesn't see him enough but when we see her will be on her phone or making calls instead of interacting with my son. Plus she physically just can't do it. She can't stand for more than 5 minutes without sitting down, she can barely get out of a chair let alone off the floor. She also is the type that doesn't follow rules and would do whatever she wanted even if it put my son in danger. I know she raised my husband, but we are both amazed by some of the things that come out of her mouth that I don't trust her at all with him.

I don't know what we are going to do when I go into labor with # 2... I just keep hoping it happens on a day my mom is here! I really don't want to have to call my mil to watch him, I don't need to be constantly thinking by son might be hurt because my mil is watching him.

Haha. No, I wouldn't trust my dad to watch my seven year old. It's not that he's not capable per say, he just doesn't think of things in relation to how kids think of things. Last year he and my daughter were cleaning at his house so he gave her a bunch of cleaning supplies including some Pledge. It was bad enough that she was spraying it on everything, but the fumes were so bad I almost couldn't breathe when I walked into the family room. When I explained to him that you can't just leave her alone and that you need to show her how to use something, it was like a light bulb went off over his head. Clearly was not very involved in raising us as children so he just doesn't have a clue.