Do You Think the Paxil Has Had Some Effect on My Child While I Was Pregnant And

Updated on February 26, 2013
P.M. asks from Bridgeport, CT
15 answers

Hello everyone i am 39 yrs old and i have a 4 yr old lil girl who has a very bad behavior problem i am not sure if it is just that i am not consistant with disapline or if she is really super bad with tantrums and everything else very hiper no naps cries for no reason ever since she was born still does cuts u off when u talk doesnt pay full attention when people talk . she has 100% more energy than any normal other child it is crazy some days i hate to say i dread getting out of bed i love her to death but raising her is soo hard sometimes i let her have her own way its so much easie than dealing with the tantrums but other times i disapline her very well although i dont stay consistant with it that creates a huge problem letting her see hmm mom just might let me get away with that let me see L0Lnow another thing while pregnant since i was bipolar and been all my life i was on something called paxil cr and doctors told me not to stop it during pregnancy and now i see commercials about were u taking that drug while pregnant if so call 1800 something law wells he was born with a heart murmor and also has adhd now so the heart murmor was from paxil but went away thank god before leaving the hospital with her i have an attorney looking into all this with her and the paxil comapny and filing a law suit.

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So What Happened?

so what i am getting at do you guys think it is the paxil or just a very hiper child that isnt being disaplined correctly andconsistantly?

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

In response to you "so what happened" update: It sounds like she needs rest (work on a bedtime routine) and consistent discipline!

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R.Y.

answers from New York on

I don't know if there is a connection between Paxil and ADHD and even if your child does have this disorder you may never know definitively if Paxil was part of the cause. I have seen children with ADHD and other neurological problems whio had moms who used street drugs during pregnancy...but that is not exactly the same thing and there were also usually a whole bunch of family problems at the same time. I would see if you can have your child assessed for ADHD or other behavior problems.
Start with your pediatrician, a local hospital or the school (especially if they have pre-K).
I have a 4 year old son who is also high energy and he exhausts me many days. I have a degree in counseling and sometimes I am so tired it is really hard to be patient and consistent! But there are a lot of resources for parents out there, especially for ADHD type behaviors. 2 books I like are The Difficult Child by Stanley Turecki and Setting Limits with Your Strong Willed Child (don't recall the author). Also putting my son is preschool (half days) was a huge help for me to get a break from the constant disciplining. He isn't always well behaved at school but he at least has a very good teacher and his behavior is much improved over the course of a year. Good luck!

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S.H.

answers from Grand Rapids on

The chance of Paxil causing this behavior in your child is very slim. Bipolar disorder and ADHD are overwhelmingly genetic. If you have it, if a close family member has it, the odds are higher that your child will too.

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J.P.

answers from Buffalo on

When I was pregnant w/my 1st child I did not stop taking my meds right away. W/my 2nd, I did stop taking my anti-depressents.( I am not bi-polar, just depression/anxiety.) I did ok until the 8th month, then my depression worsened. My Ob-Gyn told me that the risk from the meds is a heart defect. It should not be the reason for your childs behavior. I have found that disapline is the BIGGEST factor in a situation like this. You MUST be consistent or the child knows if she carries on long enough, she will get her way. She knows you will give in. It will be hard in the beginning, but stick to it and it won't be too long before she realizes that it doesn't work anymore. It may get worse before it gets better, as she will amp up her behavior to try to continue to get her way, but stick with it! That's the most important factor! It will be so much nicer raising your daughter once she realizes she can't always have her way anymore. Good luck!

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M.T.

answers from New York on

Don't be taken in by these lawsuit commercials - they are made by law companies to make money for THEM, they are not about YOU. You need to do your own research on Paxil and find out if there is any correlation. However, you are just discussing your daughter's symptoms. Has she even been diagnosed with ADHD? It is a medical condition, not a term used to describe active children or children who don't listen well. You cannot be a litigant in a lawsuit without any medical diagnosis.
You are syaing that you discipline her well, but I am sorry, I do not think so. You say that you give in a lot because it's easier and you're not consistent. If that's what you are doing, then it really doesn't pay to discipline ever, at all. If she gets her way half the time and when you give in if she has a tantrum, then of course she will have them, she knows that is how to get her way. It's not ADHD, it's being manipulative. Her behavior is not her fault, it is yours, I am sorry if that sounds judgemental. Many 4 year olds do not nap, my kids did not nap at 4, many kids at that age interrupt you when you are speaking - heck, I work with 3rd and 4th graders, and they do the same.
I am sorry that you are having a tough time, but I think you need to focus more on getting some help with the parenting, seeing a counselor or a behavioral specialist to help you get some control, rather than filing a lawsuit which even if there is any grounds for it, is not going to make it any easier to deal with your child and her behavior. A lawsuit isn't going to make that go away. If your parenting does not change, her behavior will not change. Money from a lawsuit wont' change that.

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J.W.

answers from Chicago on

It sounds like you answered your own question: you have a hyper child who is not being disciplined correctly or consistently. Who, pray tell, is going to do this if you aren't? You know what to do - yet, by your own admission, you aren't doing it regularly. Any form of appropriate discipline is doomed if you aren't going to commit to it 100%. Remember also that a child's behavior is a form of communication. If she "cries for no reason"? Sorry, but there is probably a reason. Be honest with yourself about this before you go calling some 1-800 number (and as a former admin assist in the field, I assure you that better attorneys are too busy practicing law to advertise on television).

You also said that raising her is "soo hard". Maybe it's because...are you sitting down?....raising a child is hard work. This is not a catch phrase parents use to commisserate with each other. It is the truth. If you are among the parents who have it harder than others in some areas, there are numerous professionals, books and/or support groups where you can get direction for those issues. Good luck.

PS: In case you think I'm talking out of my butt here -- and I may very well be doing just that -- bear in mind that I have a five year old daughter on the autistic spectrum. I have to stay consistent with my parenting skills through tantrums that threaten to melt my face off some days.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

I don't know if your taking Paxil is the cause of this or not. In reality it doesn't matter unless you want to go for a law suit. Your post sounds like your focus is on the law suit.

What has caused this behavior is less important, in my mind, then finding a way to manage it. Your description of her behavior causes me to strongly recommend that you have her evaluated before she gets to school.

Federal law requires that schools provide evaluation and treatment for any child who is likely to have difficulty in school. Your daughter's behavior certainly fits that criteria. Call your local school district and ask for the phone number of the Intermediate Education Service District. Another name for this program that I've heard is Early Childhood Education Office but I think that applies only up until the age of 3. Anyway, in our school district they are in the same office.

The evaluation is thorough and without charge. My grandson entered the program when he was nearly 3 because he was both speech delayed and had behavior problems. He received speech therapy and both he and his mother had a child development specialist come to their home and provide parenting training so that my daughter could learn how to handle the specific difficulties of parenting her son.

It may be that your daughter's problems are caused by your inconsistent discipline. It does sound to me that you desperately need help learning how to parent a high energy, high needs child. What immediately struck me as the most likely cause of her tantrums is when you said that you give her her way at times because it's easier than dealing with her tantrums.

Children absolutely have to know that their parent is in charge so that they can know how to behave. When she's able to get what she wants with a tantrum some of the time she will always try to get it with a tantrum. She knows that it sometimes works.

I cannot begin to give you ideas about how to parent consistently. I do have personal and close experience with a couple of women who have bi-polar disorder and I know that you have a handicap when it comes to being consistent. This gives you two areas in which you need help. First, hopefully, you have learned ways to keep your moods stable in a reasonably consistent way. You are taking medication that helps you do this and you've learned life style requirements such as regularly getting enough sleep, eating consistent healthy meals, and having the support of friends and family.

Next, you need to learn parenting skills that you are able to use. There are many parenting classes offered in the community. Some are taught at hospitals. Others, at community colleges. I'm not familiar with your area and so cannot give specific information. It is imperative that you find a way to learn skills so that you can provide a structured, calm environment for your daughter! Imperative!

I strongly recommend that you start with an evaluation thru the school district. They will help you with parenting but they will also know other resources in your community.

If you are not on medication and/or not seeing a therapist who understands the bi-polar condition it is imperative that you provide yourself with both of those. You need to do this for your own well-being but even more importantly for your daughter. She is out of control. You know this is difficult at 4. It is impossible at 8 or 9 and it's too late at 12. Please get professional help now!

As to whether or not Paxil has contributed to your daughter's behavior, only an expert hired by your attorney can answer that question. This expert's focus will be on legal issues and will not be of any help for you in learning how to manage life with your daughter. The legal aspect and the parenting aspect are two very different issues.

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J.M.

answers from Saginaw on

I was on paxil when I was pregnant with my oldest daughter, she has been diagnosed with ADHD, and Rads. She sounds a lot like your daughter but has a strict routine as well as gets time outs for bad behavior. She does not have a heart murmur but she has brittle bones.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

Sounds like all she needs is consistency in her life.

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J.G.

answers from Cleveland on

You said that sometimes you let her get what she wants because it is just easier, but yet other times you disapline her... when you do this - are you doing it for the same things & behaivors. My 4 1/2 yr old is very hyper & has some developmental delays... we have had issues with him & are in the process of having him tested through our local hospital so me can come up with a plan to help him more (you see he doesn't seem to understand right from wrong & punishments don't bother him - he just gets up & does it again). I do know that consictancy is always better with kids... we truely believe part of his issues is ADHD, but they will not say that it is at his age. We have been reading up on ADHD and trying some of the tricks they suggest and it has help some with him. But at the same time it is hard to alter our normal routine, so it has been a bit harder them we thought to implament the stuff - we are trying though and will keep trying... I don't want to fail my child & sometime I feel like I am.

One thing we want to do is get a board & write down the "house" rules - that way they can be seen (eventhough he can't read yet) and we can go to the chart and point at it when he doesn't follow one. I've been told it can be a huge help - cause their is no veriance once they are in writing. One issue we have w/ him is potty training - yes I know he should be trained by now, but he isn't & just doesn't care to... so he really wants a rc airplane - we bought one (a cheap one) and it is now hanging on my livingroom - it is his prize when he learns to use the potty & not have anymore "accidents" (which for him is everytime he has to go poo-poo). I know it sould like a bribe, but I don't know what else to try... we did the stickers & candy thing - we even tried punishing (after we were told to by the doc at his 4 yr check-up)... he just doesn't care & it still doesn't bother him to sit in dirty pants. So, we are trying this to see if it works.

Anyways... I didn't take Paxil when I was pregnant w/ him. But their are so many reason it might have happened - they are saying the shots we give our kids can these cause issues, lead in old homes (anything before the 1970's), medication we took when pregnant (even vitamins), medication we give our kids when they are sick, to the foods they eat.... even just issues that is in our medical history. My hubby has ADHD, both of us are dyslexic, we live in a house that was build in 1893 & did have issues w/ lead (he tested high for over a year) and he has had all his shots... why he has issues isn't my question - my question to the doctors has always been how can I help him. I don't want to fail him as a parent - what can I do to get through to him & help him to be the good person I see in his eyes & heart, the loving boy I know he is... truely that is all that matters. Now what you might be able to win in a law suite or why your child is who she is, but how can you be a better parent & help your child... maybe if you started looking at things in that light - you could help your daughter... and not want to stay in bed just so you didn't have to deal with her. Or take the easier road and let her do what she wants - just so you don't have to deal with her reacting... she is reacting only because she knows she will get her way if she does - mommy will give in and let me do it.

Sorry if I sound harsh, but I'm getting tired of everyone wanting a hand out just becuase they took whatever & it might had caused issues. Just deal w/ the fact your daughter is a bit harder to handle and put your energy & thought into ways of helping her, not who should pay for the "problem". And I'm sure you will see a difference in your child... but your not going to see the difference if you don't start helping her by giving her guidence, structure & love.

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S.D.

answers from Topeka on

I took Paxil during during my 1st pregnancy a high dose and my child is in good health no behavior issues either.I did receive a formal letter from an attorney inrgards to taking Paxil they knew I was on it and to call them if I had any ?'s but I didn't because nothing to me or my child I did breastfeed him while on it for a while then quit cold turkey after 3 yrs of working with my drs to wean off it so hard to do it was horrible. she is only 4 if she doesn't learn the word NO now it'll be harder later for her and you.Have you asked her DR these ?'s I see a huge difference in my kids and in my nephews mine are all cool calm and collected not rambuctious and all over the place kids are kids you mentioned a son he has adhd and wa born with a heart murmor or was that a typo if your still talking about daughter having ADHD she still needs discipline in her life I have no experience with it but for all children reagrdless of a disorder or disease we all need guidance if i'm wrong let me know

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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

I don't think it's the Paxil, I think you are right when you said she is a hyper child who isn't being disciplined correctly and consistently. Some kids are naturally more difficult to raise.

She will be going into kindergarten in the fall? I think it will help you to get her into school, where you will get a break from her and other people can start to train her. Ask the teacher for some ideas to help with her behavior.

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S.M.

answers from Casper on

There are tests they can do for adhd that involve a brain scan. Don't let someone diagnose her without a test like that.

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J.D.

answers from New York on

She sounds like a normal 4 yr old to me...I would focus on consistent discipline and how you are reacting to her. My son gets OUT OF CONTROL when he is overtired and since he stopped napping (he's 3 now) it can create an issue...I also learned with him around 2 that I really had to be careful with how I disciplined him b/c he is smart, independent, VERY STRONG willed and often times I found that we would FIGHT more than anything...he was very colicky and cried a lot as an infant, he is TOUGH, when I watch him with other kids he totally marches to his own beat, but he is also kind, loving, sweet, funny and outgoing at times so I am not worried. He is very TESTING of ME (more so than his dad) He is INTENSE on all levels good and bad I belive that is just HIS personality....oh and my son had an issue with a heart murmur before leaving the hospital too - had to take him to a cardioligist immediatley upon discharge. I didn't take paxil or any other drugs when I was pregnant with him - beyond tylenol and other OTC items that were ok.

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G.S.

answers from New York on

I am bipolar also & although i was given all of the worst case senarios about taking lithium durning the full pregnancies, the risks of myself outweighed those of both my girls. Both of my pregnancies were "high risk" and every precaution was taken. Honestly even if i did have some type of complication, I don't think it would've been of anyone else's doing and to file a law suit for a child who may just be testing the waters or could possibly end up being diagnosed bipolar herself like there is a chance of with my daughters may not be the best thing to do. My oldest had a heart murmur at birth and that went away and my youngest developed one later but the side effects either of my daughters could have developed could've posed to have been life-threatning but as i mentioned, this was all investigated. Maybe the problem i would have would be with the doctor who gave u no other alternative but i think that it's up to us as the patient to educate ourselves as well. I will be the first to tell u that motherhood kicks my *ss on a daily basis - my mother died 3 weeks prior to the birth of my first daughter and between all the changes w/my hormones, my lithium levels having been out of wack my whole pregnancy and all - it was rough & it still gets hard - my girls r now 6 & 12, but with having a site like this and corresponding w/other mothers who go thru the same thing - it's a start. my email address is ____@____.com if u ever need to vent or anything. hang in there & know that u r doing the best u can for right now - my oldest was a handful - she still is at times, but the hardest thing to do is be consistent w/everything - and follow thru on the punishments we threaten them with. seriously, if u ever need to, email me. good luck!

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