September 05, 2008,
M.L. asks from Brownsburg, IN on August 30, 2008
Do You Take Your Children to Your Personal Doctor Appointments?
I have had some bad luck these last few weeks and have had 2 doctor appointments. I took my daughter with me to one of my appointments, and as usual, it was a nightmare. She does pretty good if I keep throwing food at her, but I want to be careful because I have a weight problem and don't want that for her. ANYWAY, I had to go see my orthopedic surgeon on Thursday and knowing how long it can take I opted for my daughter to go to a friends house until my parents could pick her up, about 45 mintues later. Now, I watch my friends little girl all the time and we have a great relationship, so there was no problem on my friends part. My problem comes with my husband. He thinks I should just tote Maddie with me everywhere I go. He says I just dump her off whenever it might get a little tough or inconveinet for me to have her around. (Like decorating 48 cupcakes for her birthday party). His family never takes help from others, while my family is always eager to help out and will accept help. I do not take advantage of my friends in any way. I stay at home with her all day every day and if I have an appointment, sometimes it is easier to go by myself. I know she has more fun playing with her friends than she would in a doctors office waiting room. Which by the way, I waited for 45 mintues before even being called into the room, then had xrays, which she could not have been in the room with me. All told, I was there for 2 hours. Now, you mommas of toddlers, is this fun? So my question is this. Do you take your toddler's with you to appointments if it can be helped? Am I out of line to not want to take her with me? And what would be a loving way to explain to my hubby?
So What Happened?™
Thank you all so much for your advice. Unfortunately, I have to go have a CT scan next week, and I told my hubby that I would try to make it early in the am, or closer to quitting time so he can meet me at the hospital to watch Maddie. He really didn't say much, just had an "OH" look on his face. Like I am going to want her in her stroller watching mommy get on a bed with a big circle going around her. MEN...It really cracks me up how when he is sick, the world stops, but I have a sinus infection & possibly a broken leg and I am expected to keep going as usual not stopping for anything. Gotta love it! Thanks again ladies!
M.S. answers from Cincinnati on September 04, 2008
i take my kids if i HAVE to. if i have other options i don't. For one, i don't like to if possible because of all the germs that are in dr office. toddlers touch everything on the floor. then they stick it in there mouth. (that is what i tell my husband) it is just hard to pay attention to the dr with two kids at my feet getting into everything and the wait. i don't blame you and anyone who has tried to go to the dr with a little one knows how hard it is. and if you are like me. the dr is my only time to my self. Same with grocery shopping. last time i went to the dr i had to take both my kids as they watched me pee in a cup. that was fun. i was waiting to go home to see if they would try it. my two year old mimics everthing i do.so , if you have a sitter i would definately let them watch them.i don't really think lots of husbands understand. my husband use to say why don't you take the kids to the grocery until he went with them once. he wanted to leave after we had gotten only 3 items.
S.F. answers from Mansfield on September 01, 2008
Personally, I use dr. appts. as my opportunity for some alone time for myself!!! I look forward to that break!! (SAHM of five...ages 6, 4, 2, & 3 mos. old twins!)
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M.B. answers from Fort Wayne on August 31, 2008
If you have the opportunity to leave yor daughter with someone you trust and know she'll be happy with, then I don't see the problem. When you go to important appointments, it's much better to be able to focus and get the most out it, than it is to have to constantly entertain a toddler the entire time! I think it's great that you have such a good support system, and you should be able to utilize it. Besides, kids would much rather be playing with friends than sitting in a stffy doctor's office all afternoon anyway!
K.I. answers from Cincinnati on August 31, 2008
No, I do not take my little ones to doctor's appointments. Nor do my Mom friends.
If your husband is such a know-it-all, why doesn't he take your daughter to the grocery store and get EVERYTHING, specifically, on your grocery list? How about late in the afternoon, when she hasn't had a nap, oh-yeah, and how about he arrive at the store, and SIT in the lobby with her for 45 minutes BEFORE he starts the shopping trip? And she has to actually WALK with him, not ride in the cart. With four trips down the candy aisle. Plus a diaper change right in the middle of the list. And he needs to get home ASAP because you need the items he is buying to make dinner.
Oftentimes, husbands can be so NOT-understanding when it comes to what it really involves taking care of a miniature human being all day. Kids can seriously wear out every single nerve of patience we possess. Also, many doctor's offices forbid women from bringing their children.
You are not alone. You should not be forced to bring your child to appointments where it is certifiably inconvenient or just down-right impractical, especially when you have someone who CAN watch her. You already gave birth, she is no longer physically TIED to you any longer, so there will be times when you need to do things without her.
1 mom found this helpful
M.W. answers from Toledo on August 31, 2008
No I do not take my kids with me if it can be helped. It makes it stressful for me and them. I don't see the point of going thogh a stressful time if it can be avoided. You just need to put your foot down with your hubby. Have him have her for a day all alone and see if that might change his mind. You schould also tell him it is when you don't ask for help that he schould be worried then. Tell him kindly that it is great that he dosen't need help but that you do and there is nothing worng with that.
Good luck. Somtimes it is hard with huddys they just have no idea what is like for us.
M. Wonderly mom to 4
1 mom found this helpful
K.J. answers from Dayton on August 30, 2008
I don't take mine unless I absolutely have to. I really don't see why anyone would want to bring them unless they have to. There are germs in doctors offices, it's not fun for the kids or for us, there is no telling how long you will have to be there, and it could even be scary for them depending on what you are going in for. Also, like someone else said, its important that you are able to pay attention and hear what your doctor says without distractions. I'm totally with you - kids shouldn't have to go if you can avoid it! You are totally lucky that you have people to help and I'm sure your daughter enjoys getting out and playing at other people's houses sometimes - there is absoltey no reason you should feel guilty about that especially for things like doctors appointments.
T.M. answers from Columbus on August 31, 2008
You are in no way out of line for not wanting to take your daughter to the doctor! As in your 2 hour case, you never know what might come up! And, we moms are more aware of this then husbands, who by the way NEVER have to take the kids anywhere with them ALONE! So, don't sweat it. I would continue to schedule the appts., work out swapping childcare, it's free right? Or, say, Honey, I have an appt. today, would like to take 1/2 day off work? NO? OK, she'll be going to our friend's. My best strategy, since we are in charge of the day to day stuff, don't ask, just tell! :)
A little bit about me:
SAHM of 4; 3 are still at home. Married for 14 yrs. to my high school sweetheart of 22 yrs. Work PT as a dj.
D.L. answers from Columbus on September 02, 2008
We have a 5yr old boy and 7mo old girl and they are almost always with us. Maybe we're overprotective or something but we enjoy them so much that we usually only have someone else watch them when there's something we need to do (work party, etc.) In fact, our 5yr old son has spent the night at his grandparents twice, once to prepare him for when we were going to the hospital to have his little sister and once when we had his little sister. But, in saying that, I have never taken either of them to a doctor's appt, etc. I think you are absolutely right in this. I'd like for your husband to take her sometime, LOL! I think it's just too hard for kids that age to have to wait - I don't think I've ever gone to the doctor and seen the doctor right away. I've always had to wait. I'm also afraid that I'd miss something if I was paying attention to my child, making sure they were quietly coloring and not being curious and wanting to explore their surroundings. Anyway just my opinion! Good luck!
L.S. answers from Indianapolis on August 31, 2008
It's much easier when you leave your child with a friend that has other kids, or with your spouse when you go for a doctor's appointment. Those are so unpredictable in terms of duration and it really isn't fair for your child to be in that type of environment for more than an hour, unless it's their own appointment. It's hard to get hubby's to understand exactly what a typical day with toddler/baby/child is like. We have to squeeze in the cleaning of the house, feeding, bathing, grocery shopping, doctor's appointments, pet appointments, etc.. and the list continues. Maybe your husband should take her on one of his medical appointments next time. Maybe then you'll gain some empathy. Sounds like he just doesn't really understand what you have to go through. Your toddler sounds like she does really well, but you never know when a tantrum could erupt. I think it's better to just go on your own. Gives you some alone time too to read some magazines, catch up on some calls, etc.. I welcome alone time whenever I can get it. We don't live near family so when I have a doctor's appointment, I ask my husband to take some time off so that I can go on my own. Otherwise I just reschedule. I have two kids so it's tricky with both. Either way, I don't like to subject them to adult germs in a waiting room. Hope that helps and good luck fellow Super Mom! You're doing great!
V.M. answers from Fort Wayne on September 01, 2008
B.L. answers from Lima on August 31, 2008
Maybe Daddy should take her everywhere with him. Not only are you right, in most dr offices are full of sick people and we don't need our babies sick.