27 answers

Do You Love Your Blood Nieces/nephews More than Your in Law Niece/nephews?

My brother has a niece on his wife's side of the family. Her sister's kid. He told me he loves her, but loves my kids more, because they're his blood relatives. I have no nieces or nephews yet on my side of the family. My husband's sister has 2 sons. I absolutely love them and consider them my nephews. I don't feel I would love them less than my "blood" nephews or nieces. What do you ladies think?

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For me, DNA has nothing to do with it. My sister has two kids that I adore. One of my best friends is like the little brother I always wanted - he has two kids that I love every bit as much as my sister's kids.

3 moms found this helpful

To me it's more relationship based. I love the kids of some of my friends more than some of my relatives :) But I'm adopted and don't experience the whole "genetic pull" thing as much maybe :)

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I've got one "blood" nephew, and one niece and two nephews on my husband's side. My husband's two nephews are the sons of a brother he's not close to at all, and we've never met the kids. Very, very different value systems and sets of priorities going on there. I feel equally fond of the niece and nephew I know (one biologically related to me, one not), but it's hard for me to feel a family connection toward the other two nephews. I mean, I'm perfectly willing to believe that they're good kids, but they've been raised with suuuuuch a different set of values, my gut reaction/fear is that they'd be a bad influence on my son. So for me, it's not a question of blood vs. water, so to speak, but the relationships with the grownup siblings do sort of influence my feelings toward the younger generation.

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I have 10 nieces/nephews on my side of the family, 2 on my husband's side.

I definintely love my own nieces / nephews more - they are the children of my siblings. Some are grown, married and have their own kids and I adore their kids too. One of the two on my husband's side I don't even like. He's mean, he doesn't bath often (so he's smelly - really badly smelly too - not just a little) and he has horrible, awful manners. He's in his late 20's now, and although he picked up his bad habits without being corrected as a child, he's now an adult and should take responsibility. His father, who is my SIL's husband comes from a VERY strange family (an uncle on that side gave this young man a Penthouse subscription for his 18th birthday)(I have trouble being in the same room with some of the husband's family.)

I think it's natural to geel a greater attachment to your siblings' kids just as it's natural to feel a greater connetion to your own kids over stepkids, or to your blood-nieces/nephews than step-nieces/nephews. It's hard to admit - and certainly not politically correct - but it's reality.

All that being said, we've always made every efforts to buy gifts and treat kids from each side of the family the same so there can be no accusations of favoritism.

4 moms found this helpful

For me, DNA has nothing to do with it. My sister has two kids that I adore. One of my best friends is like the little brother I always wanted - he has two kids that I love every bit as much as my sister's kids.

3 moms found this helpful

I do. I know it might not be right to admit that but I am just being honest. I am very close to my one and only sister and she has 2 boys. My nephews were my first 'kids', they spent/spend so much time with me b/c I was their primary babysitter, when they were younger, while their parents worked. They caught/catch the bus (the 17y/o drives now but the 13y/o still rides the bus) at my house before and after school.

I LOVE my nephews like I love my own kids!

My husband's little brother (also his one & only sibling) and his wife just had their very first baby and my husband, who loves my nephews A LOT also was honest about how excited he was to have his first 'blood' nephew of his own. He was really excited. Me? Not so much. Because I already have my nephews. It is what it is.

That doesn't mean I wont love my newest nephew, I will....but it wont be anywhere near the same b/c when it comes right down to it, your family/your blood is your family and your blood and there IS a difference....for us anyway.

~My nephews call me Auntie. Just plain Auntie. Even though they have other Aunts...those 'others' are Aunt X and Aunt Y. I am and always will be their one and only Auntie. Our family (my sister and I) is just closer than my BIL's family is to him and my nephews.

3 moms found this helpful

I think it's more about the bond you have with the kids, really.

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I only have blood nephews and nieces right now (whom I adore and spoil a bit too much), but (hopefully) my SIL will have a baby sometime in the next year or two. I plan on loving that kid as if it were my flesh and blood. I can't imagine NOT doing so. I will refer to the child as MY niece or nephew, not "my husband's" niece or nephew. I consider my SIL to be as close as an actual sister, so her children will be just as loved as MY sister and brother's kids are.

Turning it around, I have several men and women who are aunts and uncles by marriage. The ones I truly love are the ones who were already in the family before I was born or at least before I could form any memories. The ones who came after, in my heart, I thought of them more as "Auntie's husband" or "Uncle's wife". Although they had my respect and I certainly liked them, they never quite felt like "family" if that makes sense. If I can love non-blood aunts and uncles, I can certainly love non-blood nephews and nieces.

2 moms found this helpful

Honestly, yes I do. I don't know if that makes me any lesser of a person then others, but I'm just being honest.

My siblings kids are awesome! I am close with all of them and feel comfortable disciplining them and hugging and kissing them, babysitting, and caring for them.

My husband's siblings kid's are older and were already around when I came into the picture. Neither my husband or I are close with any of the neices or nephews in his family. There was only 1 child born into the family after I came along and his is 4 months older then my oldest. I have never been close to him either...I've tried to be close, loving, etc., but it's just not there.

I've always felt badly about this, and in speaking with my siblings about it they all feel the same way too. So, part of me thinks it's just natural.

2 moms found this helpful

I've got one "blood" nephew, and one niece and two nephews on my husband's side. My husband's two nephews are the sons of a brother he's not close to at all, and we've never met the kids. Very, very different value systems and sets of priorities going on there. I feel equally fond of the niece and nephew I know (one biologically related to me, one not), but it's hard for me to feel a family connection toward the other two nephews. I mean, I'm perfectly willing to believe that they're good kids, but they've been raised with suuuuuch a different set of values, my gut reaction/fear is that they'd be a bad influence on my son. So for me, it's not a question of blood vs. water, so to speak, but the relationships with the grownup siblings do sort of influence my feelings toward the younger generation.

2 moms found this helpful

I don't think it's a matter of "blood" but rather to do with relationship. If you become an aunt to a 15 year old (particularly one you don't see all the time) verses a newborn arriving (and being in their life from the start and/or regularly) you are bound to have a closer bond with that child. It doesn't mean you love them more or less but rather you have a different relationship.

Now, chances are you will be in the life of the "blood" niece or nephew from the start but suppose you have one you don't know about until they are older? The fact that they are blood would not make your love stronger but the "non-blood" niece or nephew that you have known since their birth would probably have a stronger bond with you.

2 moms found this helpful

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