Do You Let Your Child See You Naked?

Updated on February 19, 2012
A.M. asks from Jackson, NJ
37 answers

Like getting dressed or even do you take a shower with them. If not, did you ever and how old were they when you stppoed. Or what do you think an appropriate age is to stop that- same or opposite sex.

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So What Happened?

Thanks. I just asked because my son is 4, and on occasion will shower with me. Although he is playing the whole time and could care less that i am naked. I also get changed in front of him sometimes. He doesn't see anything wrong with it at all- and has never even made a comment about me being naked. But this morning I asked if he wanted to take a shower with me or wait and do it with daddy tonight. He said me- only because he wanted to shower now- not later. My MIL was over and she looked at me funny. So it kinda got me thinking and wondering if he was too old for that.

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☆.H.

answers from San Francisco on

I try not to. He makes comments and asks a lot of questions. It's embarrassing!
ETA: I don't mind him knowing about the female body, I just don't want to be the diagram. It's too weird!

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B..

answers from Dallas on

Not really. My son is 2 1/2. It has nothing to do with being ashamed. I just don't want him to see me naked. For the same reason I don't want anyone (but the husband) to see me naked. I just don't want them to! I shower after he goes to bed, anyway. I definitely think there is an age where it's not appropriate. I think kids need to learn personal boundaries and privacy. I would say in my opinion that age is around 5-6 for children. Definitely that age, for opposite sex children and parents.

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K.O.

answers from Atlanta on

My kids see me naked and think nothing of it. i've usually got 2 or 3 of them coming in and bothering me while i'm taking a shower.

3 moms found this helpful

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

Skin doesn't = sex in our house... so no worries.

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Heck no! My son is almost 9!

When he was little I'd get dressed, changed or dried off in front of him.

A good rule of thumb: when you, or the child, is uncomfortable: time to stop!

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D.B.

answers from Dallas on

I've never bathed with any of my children because I love having that time to myself! However, all of my boys have come in and out of the bathroom while I'm showering. My youngest isn't quite 3 yet and has no restrictions on seeing me naked (with the one exception I've always had: no one is ever allowed in the bathroom when it's that time of the month and I'm taking care of business!). I stopped letting my two older boys see me nude when they were around 4-4 1/2. Sometimes my 5 1/2 yr old will still walk in the bathroom when I'm showering, but I send him out immediately. My oldest is 7 1/2, and once he turns 8, I will no longer supervise his showers.

My reason for stopping nudity at age 4, and giving privacy at age 8 is not because I think it's sexualized behavior, but to teach my children about modesty and personal boundaries.

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M.M.

answers from Lake Charles on

I'll walk though the house naked no problem, I'm comfortable with it and so is my daughter, my husband just puts a towel on after showers because he gets cold so she doesn't see him naked much.. we do teach her the proper words for the body parts, during bath she says "M., don't forget to wash my 'gina" haha.. I think you stop when you feel uncomfortable, she asks to touch my boobies (kids lol) but I tell her that they're my boobies and only I can touch them, and hers are her boobies and only she can touch them. So I guess I'm teaching her personal boundaries and letting her know at an early age what's appropriate touching and what's not.. I'll do the same with my son until it is uncomfortable.. Even at 25 I don't care if I'm naked in front of my M., I never gave her much privacy lol so I guess it's just about personal preference.

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L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

I have no problem with it. My kids have seen me naked and do most days of the week when I take a shower, get dressed etc. We are comfortable with our bodies and don't make a big deal of being naked. I let them run around naked as well--- As far as ages, mine are elementary and pre-school age. If they ever get to a point where they aren't comfortable or I feel uncomfortable, then I will cover up. I don't think its a big deal though unless you make it a big deal....

M

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Y.C.

answers from New York on

Growing up in Mexico I am very use to not only see my mother naked but extrangers (women) naked too.
We have this public showers that many people go because they have vapor rooms, we all get naked and honesty I never had a problem with that.
I told my daughter that not only all women with childs took showers in the same room, there were women that work in there and that would bath you.
She tough it was too much, but is all part of my culture and for us is nothing weird about it, at least on my generation, lol.
I never stop my daughter for see me naked, she just one day around 8 I think, didn't want to see me naked or me see her naked.

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B.B.

answers from New York on

My son is almost 4 and I would feel awkward bathing or showing with him. I do change in front of him and he can come in the bathroom when I am using it anytime. I am modest though during those times. I do my business and move on. He did tell me once that I had a big tushy and asked if he could touch my "pubs" once. I would never sleep naked with a child at this age. I think I will start asking for some privacy when he screams and runs out of the room. LOL

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S.K.

answers from Chicago on

I am probably seen naked by my children more than my husband is, he is a little more private and just not showering/changing as much when they are around/awake. I can't tell you the last time I showered without someone coming in at least once (we have a glass shower door). I will change in front of them, I don't call them in to the room when I am changing, but as a mother of four it is just the way it is. No one is ever gawking or staring, it is no big deal, they don't even seem to notice really. I do ask for privacy when I have "womanly" things to take care of in the bathroom, and they always respect my wishes when I ask, just as I do for them when they ask. My sons are 9,4, and 18 mos, and my daughter is 7.

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C.C.

answers from Houston on

Around the time they started talking did we cease to be naked in front of them. Of course it's just a body...but you must teach modesty...besides it just doesn't feel right after they are alittle older.

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W.M.

answers from Nashville on

My daughter is 6 years old and still sees me naked but my son is 8 1/2 and does not. Our pediatrician told us that 4 yrs old was a good age to stop letting boys see their mommys naked. I think that was good advice. Our son was like yours and did not pay attn to me but I would say shortly after, around 5, he did start staring if I was trying to dress without showing anything. He was curious. I would just start showering him by himself or bathing in the tub.

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V.M.

answers from Cleveland on

my 9 yo son parades from his room to the bathtub and doesn't seem to be self concious yet. So while i'm not dancing around the living room naked, If he waltzes in while I'm changing, I don't freak out. I woudl say we stopped the showering with an adult when he was just turning 7 and actually it was more of the I would put him in the shower for a bit then when it was time to wash his hair i would just get in shampoo him and rinse him and then send him out so i could shower.. I think we stopped the brother sister baths when he was 5 and she had turned 4, there wasn't room and they were bumping into parts by accident. but right now they do still see each other although daddy is uncomfortable wiht that so i try to discourage it too.

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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

It is all in how you treat it. If you are comfortable showering with your son at 4 than do it. If you feel that it is time to stop than do it. Don't make a big deal about of being naked. At this age it is just mommy and that is how she looks.

If you were doing this at a later age I might question it.

About 5 or 6 he can begin to shower by himself. Just make sure he has all the soap off of him in all the vital areas and that the hair is rinsed well.

Enjoy childhood it is full of ups and downs and lots of smiles and innocence.

The other S.

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K.G.

answers from Boca Raton on

I didn't read any of the responses yet...
My son is 5.5 and yes he'll see me naked. Either getting dressed or me in the shower.. Our family as a whole is very comfortable with our bodies. We never made it "weird" for him , so he's not "weird" about it... He doesn't pay attention ONE bit!!!!
That's all a personal choice though~ Some families might not agree with me...

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J.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

i have a 5 yr old daughter so its diferent, but she sees M. naked all of the time and comments because her grandparents are obsessed with making an issue of it and then I J. say Emmy its J. skin, yes I wold like privcay but its not an issue if you see M.. I am J. in a bra and workout pants and that doesnt bother her. I don't clean naked but I always clean in a bra and underwear or pants...idk why though lol

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S.T.

answers from Houston on

My son is 9 now, and he has no wish to see me naked, and I have to wish to be seen naked by him!
He was about 7 when I started to cover up a bit more. I stopped bathing with him when he was around 5.

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B.

answers from Augusta on

By the time mine were 4 they were showering by themselves.
The only time I showered with my kids was when they were babies, they just preferred to take baths and a tall person shower isn't very good at cleaning a little body. We mounted a shower head down low in their bathroom.
As far as changing clothes , if they see me they see me. I didn't make a big deal about it except getting on the them about knocking. But at their ages now 7 and 10 they usually knock.

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R.B.

answers from La Crosse on

I still change in front of my M.... as does she in front of me. I still bathe with my daughter 3. I don't bathe with my son 4. But he does come in and play in the bath water (from outside the tub) when Im in there. They both see me change. Now that he is starting to ask questions... I will be soon changing that with him. I think my older boys were around 5 when they stopped seeing me naked. It will be the same for my 4 yr old.

Both younger ones have never really seen my husband more than a handful of times naked. He is more modest about it.

I honestly think it comes down to when your uncomfortable about being naked in front of children... thats when its time to change it. I dont think there is a set time frame for everyone.

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C.W.

answers from Washington DC on

I wish there was privacy in my house. I can't take a shower when the kids are awake or one of them will jump in with me. I think it is a problem when the kid or you feel uncomfortable.

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N.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

My oldest son just turned 4 and it was always a time saver thing for us. My husband would throw them in with me, I'd wash their hair, have them wash their bodies and I'd shoo them back out. I didn't think twice about it, they never asked questions.

But the other day (now mind you I am now 6 months preggo) but I was fully clothed, they were in the bath instead of the shower, and I went to pull my 4 yr out and he straight up grabbed my boobies. After that and him coming home from preschool with a picture of his family, and proudly pointing out "Mommy and her boo boo's" (perfectly drawn circles for my boobs) I called it. I haven't even let him see me getting dressed lately. Made me slightly uncomfortable at that point.

I know he's just curious, and now that I'm fully obvious (before I was maybe an A or small b & now closer to c/d) I think it just became more apparent to him--and obviously on his mind.

I still shower with my 2 yr old and don't plan on changing things until, he becomes aware as well.

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L.L.

answers from Rochester on

I guess my children see me naked...I sleep naked, so thus I get out of bed naked...but they're both girls. They have NEVER seen their father naked, and hopefully never will!

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L.H.

answers from New York on

I think I'm the only prude. I do think it's wonderful that people can feel free to do this. Even Japan has bath houses with men and boys in one big bath together. I've never been comfortable with the idea of me being naked in front of DS nor has my DH. I just think it's however you're brought up and how you feel about it. We did let our son watch us go potty when we were potty training him though. My parents were always sticklers about different sex siblings sleeping in the same room and siblings taking baths together, so no one would even dare think of parents taking showers/baths with thier children/babies. They just felt that everyone should have their own clean water to bathe in.

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N.P.

answers from New York on

I have no issues with my child seeing me naked but she's 6 months old. My husband, on the other hand, is not comfortable naked around her. If we had a boy he might feel differently. It really just depends on your level of comfort.

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

My daughter has seen me naked all her life and it was never a big deal. She's 21 now and we still don't care if the other sees us naked. Parts is just parts.

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M..

answers from Detroit on

My daughter is 7 and I am no longer willing to let her see me naked. She is getting curious and I think she needs to learn about privacy and modesty.
My 3 year old son, on the other hand, you would think, is literally attached to me. He showers with me, and most times I cannot get a bathroom break without him barging in. But, he is not curious or interested in my body. When we shower he plays and doesnt think twice or have any questions yet.....
When he starts to get curious, thats when hes on his own.

My husband on the other hand, has NEVER let the kids see him naked. I have the body of a 13 year old, my husbands body is a little mature for them in my opinion. They dont need to see that. :)

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T.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

I have all daughters so i can only give my opinion based on that. They come in the bathroom when i am in the bath. They come into the bedroom when i am getting dressed. The oldest is 16, she still talks to me while i am dressing. If i had sons i am sure it would be way different. I think you are about at the age where he is getting too old. To me daughters are different. I can only speak from my experience though.

Edited: My husband is very private around the girls, as they are around him. The teens are becoming a little more private around me, as they have a right too. Just wanted to put that out there.... in case....

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M.B.

answers from New York on

Yes, I let my child see me naked. I think you should stop when the child expresses discomfort. Opposite sex children will start to want their own privacy in childhood (same sex children may as well), and that's when I think you should stop; it's also when you should start to give hte child his own privacy.

I personally come from a family that always practiced modesty in public (in fact, we were far more modest than most), but also taught us that our bodies were normal, different, and not shameful. I plan to do the same with my kids.

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A.L.

answers from Dallas on

I have a 3 yr. old step-daughter and I am currenlty pregnant with twins. For the first two years, both her father and I, allowed my S-D to bath with us. When she turned three we noticed that she was getting aggressive with us regarding our body parts. (i.e. - she would pull my shirt down so that my chest was exposed and she wanted to touch my breast). At this point, we stopped allowing her to bathe with us and we just monitor her baths. We also stopped allowing her to run around in just a diaper because it seems she was getting a little too comfortable being around company in this state. We do not see it as a perverted type thing, but we though this would be the best time to start teaching her boundaries. She has calmed down a lot in the past few months with the exception of my new, extra large tummy, which we are explaining are her sisters.

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E.S.

answers from New York on

My daughter is 22 months. If she didn't see me naked, I'd never get in a shower or potty time :-). Usually I cover right up in a towel, for climate-control and vanity reasons :-)

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M.A.

answers from Miami on

I'm a naked person, b/c I work as a nude model I am not shy about being naked infront of anyone including my 3 son's who are 7, 5 and 3 years old. They take showers with me everyday, I also sleep in the nude as well and if one of my sons need in the middle of the night I will go to their room naked I don't bother putting on a robe. Basically at home we are naked all the time my hubby, my sons and I all naked when we are at home. We also go to the nude beach near our home as a family.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

Here, the kids were not allowed to just walk in on me, bathroom doors were kept closed and locked, but I didn't worry about them seeing me change clothes/topless. I stopped allowing them to see me that way when my son was 3 and my daughter was 7, when I had my mastectomy. They didn't need to see that.

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D.T.

answers from Muncie on

Daughter, 5 years old, yeah she's seen. We're both female, no big. She doesn't see my husband with anything less then his shirt off. Mostly it's for his comfort level.

As for a son...I think 5 is a good time to end the showers with Mommy. Just my opinion. Up to you really, so long as you and your family is comfortable.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

If I can remember that far back, I think my kids were about 5 when I stopped
showering with them. Possibly even a bit earlier.

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C.W.

answers from Santa Barbara on

I just got out of the shower after kick boxing and my daughter walked in while I was putting on my PJ top. I guess we haven't reached the age that it's a problem yet.

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M.N.

answers from New York on

I do, and agree it's okay until the child is uncomfortable. However, my husband doesn't walk around naked in front of our daughter.

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