Do You Know Your Childs Passwords ....

No, my kids are 19, 17, and 14. They have earned trust and deserve a little privacy. If I had reason to think they might be in some kind of trouble, that would change right away. I see them make good choices, good judgement, and have self respect everyday.

:)

Until of legal age........ you betcha!

I told my kids it was my job to protect them and I felt the best way I could do that was........ When they say, "YOU DON'T TRUST ME!" Then I would say something like, "I think you are a great kid, but it's still my job to protect you."

YES!
And my kids are teens.
I told them they could have email, facebook, etc, but only if I had the passwords. :-)
They know better than to sneak -- as I know all...
LBC

I only tightly monitor this kind of stuff up until about the age of 14. I feel like at that age they deserve some privacy, and they NEED to start learning how to navigate in the world without mommy constantly watching their every move. Of course, if I suspected my kids were up to something (drugs, failing/cutting school, hanging with a "bad" crowd) then yes, I would access their information and probably even search their rooms. But honestly they are so busy and tired from all of their schoolwork, sports and other activities they just don't have a whole lot of time to get into trouble.

Yes - the oldest are 13 and we know their phone, FB and computer passwords. The younger boys need us to log them into the computer because we won't give them their passwords (they are 7 and 5 and computer time is very limited for them).

For my older kids, we just explained that what they put out in the world electronically, even if they think it's just between them and a trusted friend, can be forwarded, read by someone else's eyes, taken out of context, edited or altered in an unflattering way etc. and any of those things could be harmful to them, their relationships and their reputations. If it's electronic, it's never "private" (a lesson that adults fail to heed as well) and we will not treat their electronic communications as private. It's not the same as writing in a diary or journal or having a conversation face-to-face or over the phone. In those situations, I will honor their privacy. But if you put it in print (or take a picture...or take video) and share it on-line or via text, the thought of privacy goes out the window. So having them know that we can see what they put out there keeps them (and their friends) in check and hopefully out of trouble. I have literally seen them respond to something inappropriate with "dude my parents read this stuff so knock it off."

Our daughter is 6 and so has no phone, email or FB accounts but when she is old enough to do so: absolutely my husband and I will know the passwords and will monitor all accounts regularly. This is what attentive, pro-active parents do, don't they?

No - just as I wouldn't read their diaries. I guess I might feel different if my 10 year old was online, etc (so far he has no interest and no phone), but by the time my older two hit High School (around age 14) their passwords were their own. I am lucky that they have both been willing to "friend" me on Facebook so I can see some of what they're doing, but teenage years are about learning to be your own person, making mistakes and learning from them.

That doesn't mean I don't keep an eye open for signs of trouble - secretive texting, excessive texting, too much time on the computer, etc.

No, I don't.

You don't say your kids' ages, but I particularly do not agree with forcing teens to give their passwords. I have found that trust goes a long way.

And because of this attitude, I have some of the best-behaved kids I know, who tell me things. I have to add this, after reading the other responses.

Yup, if you live in my house, use my computer, and I pay your phone bill, I have all the passwords or you lose access to your stuff.

This even applies to the 20 yr. old. It's as much for their protection as it is accountability. I don't invade privacy unless I have been given just cause to do so.

Definitely ... I have passwords to anything they have with one .. cell phone, Facebook, computer, etc. Our children could care less if we have their passwords. When we gave them phones and allowed FB page to be set up, I created a FB page too at that time so I could further monitor what goes on. I can log on to their pages anytime I want and unlock phones if needed. Now adays, it's hardly about snooping, it's for their own security. Too many weird-os out there! They have never given me a reason to micro-manage their privacy so I don't but we've made it very clear, if they send an inappropriate message, text or email and we see it - NO more phone or computer. IF I find out they have a password I don't know, NO more phone/computer. They are good kids so no problems and again, they don't mind at all. They actually seem to be a little more comfortable that if something was inappropriate we would take care of it for them.

I do have passwords for FB and all school info. I check FB about once a week. My daughter is pretty busy and does not spend a lot of time on FB.

I do not go through her phone, etc. I believe she has a right to privacy as I do not own her. I have raised her well and she makes good choices. ...so far. Now, if she were to change and not be the responsible independent 16 yr old that thrives in school and life, then yes, she'd lose that perk.

We communicate a LOT and hold nothing back. I can probably tell you what is in her phone without looking at it because that is just how we are with each other, very open.

Of COURSE we know the passwords for our child.... per her iTouch and online school related programs. And whatever else our kids, have per online programs/games, that WE sign them up for.

You don't 'explain' it to your child about your needing to know it. You just tell them... you need it, you write it down in a password file/notebook and that's it. That is the rules.
My daughter has no problem with that. She knows it is common sense. That it is for safety etc.
Common sense.

And YES... you as the parent, DOES and WILL.... monitor their use and what they do on it.

Now, beyond telling the child that whatever they do is viewable to their parent... you ALSO HAVE to tell the child, that whatever they post online... IS ALWAYS going to be online. Their online history... is there. And to NEVER use their full real names or private home information, on anything... they are a MINOR aged child.
Once something is posted online, whether that is words or photos or commentary... it is there in cyberspace.
One day, they will have a future Employer... and these things can be looked up and seen.
THAT is what we tell, our kids.

I set up the accounts and I have each and every one of them, they can't change them. I am the only one that knows the answers to the security questions.

Absolutely! That's a condition of access to anything on the internet that requires a password!

Yes, I agree a parent should know the passwords and the child should know a parent could check up on them anytime (even if it rarely happens). My kids are too young for passwords but my 5 year old already has some rules on computer use (only after homework, only go on parent approved sites, time limits on weekdays). Fortunately the school is on the same page and sent home a detailed school computer policy the first week.

When I went to back to school night about 14 yrs ago I was given some very interesting and wonderful information. She explained that she would look through her children's backpacks daily. Throughout the years they would challenge her, stating that they deserved their privacy. She stated that while living in her home and being her responsibility, it was not an invasion of their privacy, it was being a responsible parent.
There should be no reason that anything your children have would be unavailable to you and your husband. I often tell my children, if you do something that you have to lie about, you should not do it..I also add that we ALL make mistakes and that is why being honest keeps us from making more than we might if we are hiding these acts.
Your awareness of what they are looking at and who is in contact with them allows you to address issues in a positive way. It will put you in situations where you may wish to just sit back and see how things go but it also allows you to know if they are needing guidance.
It is being a parent and loving them...not spying on them. You will probably not even go into their devices that often but knowing the passwords just make it an easier and more open relationship and that to me, helping them to understand that honesty and openness in all relationships is vital to a successfull one :)

I have access to everything my son does online or on his phone.
I can even tell from one day to the next if he's turned in school assignments on the school website.
There are no secrets.
He's 16.
I have access to what he does and says or HE doesn't have access.
It's that simple.
I'm not a "snoop". I don't police everything although he knows I can and do from time to time. Our computer is in the living room so he can't do much I don't see in the normal course of a day anyway.

My son thinks nothing of it because it's always been that way.

Just my opinion.

Know them? Yep.
Monitor? Intermittently.

My 11 year old, yes I have passwords to her email, facebook(which is monitored closely by me!!), phone, game sites (club penguin, webkinz, fantage, etc). I check it frequently. My teen...I do not have her passwords, but I feel she is older and has a right to her privacy. I do check out her fb frequently as well, but I do allow her the privacy of her own accounts.

My 11 and 10 year olds both have cell phones, emails, and accounts on our laptops. We both do random phone checks. We havent had issues with Cussing or Sexual things yet, but i am sure it is too come. Emails are given by school and monitored by them as well. Private computer accounts we don't check, but we have parental blocks on the accounts.

My daughter has a cell phone and an email account. I have access to both and she knows I will check them whenever I feel like it. She also knows to NEVER check her voicemails unless mom or dad is there with her. She's 8, so maybe it will change a bit when she is older. I think some privacy is to be expected, but it's also not a tool for them to do what they want to do. So I'll always have the passwords, and only check them if I feel it's necessary.

The only one that has anything with a password is my 15 yr old. Yes I know the password to his FB and to his email. He never gets into his email.. neither do I. But his facebook I scan it about once a week. I don't read everything, just scan it. I check to see who he has recently added as new friends. I will ask him sometimes how he knows a person or what ever.

I didn't do it as often until someone tried to add him as a friend and it was a pic of a girl in her about 20's wearing a thong and had her arm over her very large chest bent over so you got full view of her backside and could see enough of her chest to wear you didn't have to guess what they looked like. I reported her and emailed her back a very "lovely" message and reported her to the cops after I printed out the email that said that she would like to meet him and make all of his fantasies come true!! ( he brought it to my attention)

I don't go into his phone unless Im trying to figure out what is making him in the mood and act the way he is when he is acting out. Usually its just he got turned down by a girl. But at least I know.

One time I was scanning his FB and seen a friend say he was done with his life and was leaving... then I dug farther, I read all the comments he was making, looked into his email and seen more messages along that line... then I went to his phone and read all of the texts. I woke my son up at midnight and explained what I did, at first he was mad but after I explained why he was ok and we talked about depression and suicide. My son kept saying he is just depressed and wont hurt himself. I told him how everything he was saying is a cry for help. It was great to see my son trying to help him, he was doing everything right except coming to me or a teacher. The next day I called the school and talked to the counselor and asked if that kid was in school... he was not. I told her everything I found and she knew he was down and out but not to that point. The school called the parent who didn't know the kids wasn't in school, the parent, the cop and the counselor all went to the house and the child had taken some pills. Thankfully the found him in time. He got his stomach pumped and got into counseling and is better today.

So my point is that kids aren't ready to handle all situations yet and I don't feel I am invading on his privacy or breaking any trust, but more looking out for them in today's age of technology. My son doesn't have a problem with me doing it, he is open to me about things and like he said if he has nothing to hide why should it matter.

My son can also get into mine and my husbands accounts also. All of our passwords are saved on the computer to where any of us can get into any of them.

Yes. My kids do not have phones so no problems there. But I do know their email and facebook passwords and chek to make sure everything is a-ok. I let them know that if they wanted to be able to use these, then I needed to be able to check to make sure they were doing so safely. They know about viruses and idiots out there. I have explained to them about stalkers and people posing as kids that are actually adults. They are aware of not sharing info with others online.

Yes. We believe there is very little "privacy" until you are out of our house and paying your own bills. We don't pose it as 'We don't trust you or we suspect you.' It is just like checking grades at school, checking if their rooms are picked up occasionally, calling a friend to see how the playmate went...

Good luck and best wishes at getting your hubby on board to protect your kids in the techno world!!

I think you have to know your child. By the time they were young teens, we felt that both of our kids had proven to be highly responsible through everyday actions and behavior, so we never asked our kids for their passwords and respected their privacy. We spoke to them about internet safety and how people might perceive you in ways you wouldn't expect that could be very damaging to your current and future reputation. We also discussed internet protocol and safety with them, then trusted them to be judicious in their use of the internet. Once, by accident, we came across a "fun" survey our daughter had participated in on MySpace. It was highly suggestive, but at 14, she didn't understand the inuendo. When we explained our concerns, she was mortified and shut down her MySpace account. We're friends with both of our kids on Facebook, but only our daughter really uses it, and we rarely keep up with what she posts on it. On the few occassions we have checked out her page, we didn't see anything untoward. Our daughter voluntarily gave us her College Board and email passwords in her senior year, so we could help her keep up with her college search and application process. None of our phones have passwords, so that wasn't really an issue at all.

Now that the kids are in college, we have access to their school passwords only so we can take care of paying bills and deal with registration isses. They appreciate that this makes their lives easier, so that they don't have to take care of something we're paying for, anyway. We could use these to check out their grades, but wait until they tell us it's OK to look (they like to see their grades, first, which we respect). I think the whole key is education, keeping good lines of communication open with your children, and establishing trust.

My boys are 23 and 27 - I have their passwords because they travel a lot for baseball and don't always have time to check their e-mail. they may text me and ask me to check if there's something important...

but otherwise I stay out.

Yes, absolutely we have the passwords. As long as she's in our house we will have access to her accounts.

I think certain kids are the type to be worthy of trust and you KNOW you don't have to worry about them. My daughter is trustworthy in that she's not a liar or a sneak, but she is VERY easily led astray by other kids. I can't see her sneaking around or lying about anything, but I can see another kid forwarding something or telling her to do something and she'd do it. We've talked to her about good sense, but evidently she is lacking LOL! I'm hoping she will grow out of that, but until then we'll closely monitor her activity. Already she's texted her friend a picture of her naked butt (because her girl friend did it first) and gotten the phone number of a boy she thought was cute and wanted to give her his number. She was 9 at the time and KNEW she wasn't supposed to have any numbers on her phone unless we approve. She's also led astray a lot when playing with kids.

I think it's all about what kind of child you have.