30 answers

Do You Have a Lot in Common with Your Husband?

I'm asking this because i didnt have a lot in common with my soon to be ex husband. Different religions, music taste, money spending habits, he's messy, i'm neat, he'd rather be out partying, i'd rather watch a good movie. Things in common were our kids, love of the outdoors, hanging out with family, eating good food, watching movies, sex.
SO in order for a marriage to work what do you think the major things you have to have in common are? Whats important?

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thanks ladies. Your responses got me thinking and helps me to understand, it just wasn't meant to be. Communication and respect were lacking in our relationship. I think those were the most important. The activities and hobbies not so much.

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Different:
Religions (although he goes with me and the kids)
view on abortion ( I am 100% prolife, he has exceptions to prolife)
He's messy and I'm OCD tidy.
He saves everything, I toss things when he's not looking. (Although, he tells me to throw things away before he sees them so that he won't be tempted to keep them)

Same:
Just about everything else...

What's important? He is truely my best friend!! I can't imagine my life without him!

3 moms found this helpful

A common respect of each other.

You have to learn how to put up with the things that you dont have in common for that person, because you love them that much. My husband and I dont have Everything in common but we make it work. We do have a love of some things the same, movies, humor, outdoors, etc.

We dont see eye to eye on the same religion and he likes different music then I normally do but we make it work because we love each other that much where those things dont matter. And I cant imagine myself wanting to be with anyone else. He is my everything.

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I personally dont think you need anything in common per se, but the ability to fully respect and handle differences.
My boyfriend of a year and a half is the polar opposite of me nearly, Im hot tempered, hes calm mostly, I'm all cutesy, hes punk. But we respect each other, and I find him more appealing because I never get bored of him because we nearly always have a different opinion on things. Leads to intresting conversations.

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You can be total opposites and have a great marriage as long as you both respect each others differences.
Having things in common is nice but if you want your partner to like everything you do, that's hard to find. A lot of relationships fail due to the fact that we pretend to like stuff in the beginning just so the b/f or g/f will be happy. That gets old. So, always, ALWAYS be yourself from the get go, and if you dont like something that your partner does, dont be afraid to speak your mind... if he thinks you like football and you really hate it, football season can be REALLY long.
Just don't depend on someone else to make you happy, thats the biggest thing. You have to be happy alone in order to be happy WITH someone.

8 moms found this helpful

My thing with marriage is this:

1. Do you see yourself with him down the road...like when you're really old? Do you still see yourself wanting to hang out with him?

2. If you had to pick up and move away from all of your friends and family, would you do it and still be happy with just him?

Those are two of the major reasons why I married my husband and I love him more now than I did when I married him. Sorry, hope I didn't make anyone nauseous.

7 moms found this helpful

I have virtually nothing in common with my husband. We don't like the same music, I love to read, he hates it. He likes corny movies, I like deep meaningful movies. He's a manly man who likes to get dirty and I'm kind of a priss. We do like the same TV shows, we appreciate each other's sense of humor, and we are in sync on religion and politics. I think the most important thing is that no matter how far apart you may be, you always be willing to meet the other person where THEY are. I am totally willing to watch his stupid corny movies with him, and he is totally willing to listen to me talk his ear off about my latest book. We appreciate the things about each other that the other doesn't necessarily understand.

4 moms found this helpful

We had a lot more in common when we first started dating. Since we have gotten older both our tastes have changed. I think it is how you do this that can make it last. I honestly dont know what we have done right. It still works though.

He likes hard core metal to some degrees and then some random off the wall stuff too. I like more..easily listenable stuff. He loves going to concerts and getting rough(this is how he lets out his pent up aggression)I usually go now and sit in GA while he goes at it in the pits. He loves being home on days off..I love being out and about. We meet iin the middle and just hangout outside or literally in the back on the swing set with the kids..he is happy i am happy. I am the messy one..he has had to adapted. He doesnt really see religion as important but he doesnt give me grief for mine.

Some people just cant grow together I think. That is not just towards married couples. It just sucks more when it happens to be a married couple. The possiblity that it could easily be just a girlfriend is good to. I hope that makes sense??

I think to have a good marriage you have to have a heart that is similar. all the other stuff is just talking points. Or things to keep the conversation going. Once the hearts are no long in ''sync'' It makes it harder to want to keep talking.

4 moms found this helpful

If there is nothing in common, then how was dating? And what led to marriage?
Core things, like values & priorities & attitudes toward life, do need to be there, in common.
Or a healthy sense of appreciating one's differences.

My Husband and I are culturally different and in upbringing and ethnicity and age.
Varying hues of values... but we complement each other in many respects. But we also learn from each other, too.
After 13 years of being married... well we are getting better at being each others Ally. Not adversary. Even if we are different from each other. In other ways.
We are Yin and Yang.

4 moms found this helpful

Some things my guy and I love:

Kung-Fu movies (one of our first bonding moments was realizing we both loved them)

Cribbage(we'll always have cribbage...and we've the 200+ crib boards to prove it!)
Good beer
Stupid funny guy comedies
Poetry
Music- there's enough common ground that we have plenty to listen to, and can listen to what the other doesn't care for when we're alone

Our mutual ire at stupidity enacted through legislation.
Politically, we're well meshed
Spiritually, I think we're also pretty compatible
We like similar television shows, (except the sports... not my fave, but that's another good reason to go read a book. And Antiques Roadshow puts me to sleep, but he adores it, so I watch with him anyway. Just because.)

We love our son and each other. Pretty good! I think we keep focused on each other, and that helps. We are best friends, despite the differences in our personalities and some preferences. Our backgrounds were different, and with lots of small, important similarities. He's my guy to the end.

4 moms found this helpful

No, my husband and I have the same core values, similar senses of humor and a strong devotion to each other and our family. That's the glue that keeps us together, I think. We have some of the same likes and dislikes but he does have his own interests and I have mine. I think that's what keeps us from being dreadfully dull with each other, the fact that we aren't so matchy-matchy to the "T". I do think that having different religions and one being a partier and the other is not can be very stressful for any relationship. They don't necessarily have to be deal-breaker issues but they do need a lot of talking out, compromising and a meeting of the minds for each party to feel like the relationship works for them.

4 moms found this helpful

My husband and I are VERY similar on politics, religion, social issues, weather we like, activities we enjoy, music taste, movies we like, food we like, fashion sense, alcohol we like, we agree most times on what is the perfect date night.

We can read each others minds sometimes. If I am wanting to leave a social interaction or something all I have to do is look at him and he knows.

We see eye-to-eye on disciplining our child.

We can finish each others sentences and know what the others opinion is or will be before they say it.

He is a little more messy than me, but not a big deal.
I am a germ-a-phobe with mild OCD, so not many people are going to be on my level with that LOL

And our sex life is perfect. Everything I want and need, I get.

We are like two peas in a pod. We were made for each other.
He is the love of my life :) We are about to celebrate our 7 year anniversary :D

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