27 answers

Do You Have a Boy and Girl Living in the Same Room?

How long is it appropriate?
How do you decorate?

My house is a 3 bedroom I have two girls 6 years apart and a boy on the way. I think the two girls are too far apart in age so i want to room my two youngest together at first. But for how long?..we want to convert our game room into a bedroom but that will require time and money. I was wondering what to do for now.

I need to nest and my head is spinning!

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My son is 7 and my daughter 4. They have their own rooms but they choose to sleep together. Maybe some find it inappropriate but I don't really care. They sleep well when they are together. I can't really tell you when it will suddenly become inappropriate. I would imagine I will just know it. Until then, I love how close they have become by spending every night talking to each other in bed. I feel like this is going to foster a great relationship and create great memories for them.

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I do but my son is three and my daughter is 19 months. I plan on them staying together for a long time - several more years, at least. They love it.

I can hear them talking and laughing and squealing at night when they are supposed to be sleeping.

Sometimes I go in after they go to sleep, and there is all this STUFF in my daughters crib - extra blankets, books, toys, clothes, that my son has put in there with her.

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Mine are still sharing by choice, so I can't say when that will stop. As far as decorating, the room is painted a very light, icy blue. There are glow in the dark stars on the wall, and each has their own comforter (boy has super heroes and girl has a patterned quilt).

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Some people don't think our kids should still be in the same room but, even though they have their own beds and own bedrooms, they still cram themselves into the same bed like little puppies in a pile on most nights... and the two that are boy/girl are 6 and 7. Maybe some children this age have begun to lose their innocence surrounding the difference between boys and girls but mine truly haven't yet. I also have another girl who is 3 and she prefers her space a little more but still wants to be with the other 2. My 6 and 7 year old are only 14 months apart so they did everything together when they were littler and still do, they are just very close. They even took baths together until about a year or so ago, and neither thought anything of it...it is just "normal" to them. I think your little ones will be just fine rooming together for at least a few years, if not more. :)

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I have four kids in one room: a girl (4), a boy (8), a boy (9) and a girl (10).

I built the bunks. Each bunk has a curtain for privacy. The older ones change clothes in the bathroom, if they want privacy.

The kids get free rein in decorating their own bedspace, including paint. The rest of the room isn't decorated.

We have various places in the house/yard where folks can retreat for quiet/private play. The beds are for sleeping and reading.

My personal opinion is that people *need* private bedrooms when they are sexually active. Beyond that, learning to live in tight quarters is a vital life skill for both college (dorms) and travelling.

2 moms found this helpful

I do but my son is three and my daughter is 19 months. I plan on them staying together for a long time - several more years, at least. They love it.

I can hear them talking and laughing and squealing at night when they are supposed to be sleeping.

Sometimes I go in after they go to sleep, and there is all this STUFF in my daughters crib - extra blankets, books, toys, clothes, that my son has put in there with her.

2 moms found this helpful

My son is 7 and my daughter 4. They have their own rooms but they choose to sleep together. Maybe some find it inappropriate but I don't really care. They sleep well when they are together. I can't really tell you when it will suddenly become inappropriate. I would imagine I will just know it. Until then, I love how close they have become by spending every night talking to each other in bed. I feel like this is going to foster a great relationship and create great memories for them.

2 moms found this helpful

My brother and I shared a room until I was 14 and he was 9. I realize that it does not sound ideal, but I don't remember it being a problem as far as privacy and such. It was never weird or inhibiting. We were able to keep our stuff separate, if that makes sense. When we moved into a larger house and had separate rooms, he would still come and sleep in my room sometimes. We were very close and never in a creepy, they-need-time-apart kinda of way. You do what you gotta do.

Decorating consisted of bunk beds and a desk and a large dresser. I don't remember the pattern on the curtains.

1 mom found this helpful

My son and step-daughter share a room. They are 13 but have been sharing a room at least part time since they were 5. Up until this year, she was only with us on weekends and the room they're in was the biggest, so it made perfect sense for her to sleep in there because it was big enough that she could have her own space for personal items, clothes, arts and crafts, etc. The room that my two little boys (5 & 7) share is less than half the size of the larger room. When she moved in FT, naturally she slept where she always has. The walls are neutral, curtains and bedding are red (her favorite color) and blue (his favorite) and they each have posters and decorations on the walls that are to their liking. They only use the room to sleep, do homework, and store clothing. Friends have to hang out in the playroom, and sleepovers are in the playroom as well.

We keep thinking that we've reached the upper limit of how long they can continue to share a room but we don't have any other options that any of the kids agree with. We have considered putting her in the small room and all the boys in the big room but they all hate that idea. The other thing under consideration is finishing part of the basement and putting someone down there, but that requires $ that we don't have right now.

Anyway...there is plenty of time for this to work itself out for you.

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My older two slept in the same room until they were 5th and 3rd graders, cannot remember how old you are at those grades. They each put what they wanted on the walls.

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Yes mine are 4 (girl) and 2 (boy). She has a twin and he is in the converted crib to a toddler. I plan on having them in there for a few more years (no more than 3) because by then we will have moved or added on. I don't even think it would matter if we moved or added on right now anyways because she likes having him in her room. He goes to sleep very easily and I doubt he cares one way or the other - but she is sometimes scared to go to bed or stay in her room all night and being able to say that he is in there with her helps. I thought once he was out of the crib that they would sleep together but he likes his space! I DID want her to have the option of having her own room by the time she goes to Kindergarten. Guess we'll see where we are financially at that time (less than a year!) OMG!

Wanted to add that we had her in there first so it was decorated in pink polka dots. Then he came along and we added blue polka dots. Now they each have a Disney themed blanket and all the pink stuff on the walls is for her and blue is for him. We have pink and blue frames with their pictures in it.

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My 3 & 4 yr old are in the same room. They are different sexes.

I also shared a bedroom with my brother until I was 9. We changed in the bathroom, but slept in the same room.

*added*
my two little ones also sleep in the same bed. I don't have twin beds for them as I do the other three. But my brother was getting rid of a queen matress when the time came for them to upgrade from the toddler beds and that's what they sleep in.

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I think it's fine to have them share a room, for a few years, at least! As for decorating, there are tons of things you could do that would be unisex, or mix a little of both... I don't know what you're working with now, or how much you plan to change... are you painting? just decorating with bedding/curtains? You could paint 2 walls a feminine color, and 2 walls a masculine color, and do little woodland creatures... Target has an adorable set for little girls like this, and I'd bet you'd have a really easy time finding something with little creatures on it for boys... I just haven't looked...

Oh, goodness, I have so many ideas! I'm working on my kids rooms now too, so I have been looking at a lot of stuff!

If you want ideas, pm me and let me know how much updating you plan to do... and I'll tell you what I think. I love this! :)

1 mom found this helpful

We've always lived in small spaces (until about 2 years ago) and out of necessity we had to have our son and daughter share a room. Now they are 6 and almost 8 and my daughter seems ready to have her own space. They both have liked the comfort of having the other there particularly at bedtime. Of course they sleep in separate beds, but they like seeing and knowing that the other one is there.
As far as decorations, we stuck with an animal theme for the most part and then when the kids wanted their own style we used those stick on pictures or things that they drew.

Good luck!

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Hi A.,
I don't think it's a big deal to put them together. I would probably put the girls together at first until baby is sleeping through the night. That's just my opinion.
Regarding any of them sharing a room...we have a 4 bedroom house and only 3 children, enough room for each child to have their own room. Yet, all 3 children sleep in the same room. Yep, that's right...personally I'd want my own space, but kids are different. They each have a full size bed and they are lined up down the length of the room (big room) and it is painted pink because it was originally going to be a girls room. My two girls wanted to share a room so they both started out in there once my youngest was sleeping through the night. Now my son has his own themed bedroom that my husband spent a week painting and decorating as a castle and my son wanted to also sleep in his sisters room because he was scared to sleep by himself. His sisters welcomed him with open arms. As a matter of fact the other night I went in to check on them before I went to bed and all 3 of them were lined up horizontally in my oldest's bed. I know there will come a time that they all want their own rooms back but they are only little once and they are so close to each other. If they didn't share a room they'd be lonely!
So, either way no matter what you decide to do....kids are pretty easy going and will do fine!
Best wishes!

1 mom found this helpful

I have 3 children now, and another on the way. I completely understand what you are going through. My oldest are boy and girl, and a young girl with a boy on the way. There is really no way to consider how to do it. However, I had my oldest ones in the room for over a year because I wasn't sure the baby needed to go into my 9yr old's room. My eldest is 8 yrs older than her younger sister, so we are going to have to transition them together, whether she likes it or not. When we had the 2 eldest together in the same room, there was definately some sibling rivalry along with the "he, she" problems too. I just let them work things out together. No one ever says that there has to be a "quiet" household, they are always going to fight. There is no rules that say 2 younger siblings who are different sexes have to stay in seperate rooms. You will need to seperate them eventually, but if you are ok with the togetherness, allow it. They will not know the differences until they are hitting puberty, and when that happens, adjust your household. RELAX, it doesn't have to happen overnight. Take it one day at a time.

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My son and daughter shared a room for about three years, during the preschool/early elementary years, until my son was eight and my daughter was five. It was awesome! They had bunk beds and the decor was pretty neutral, though my daughter had Little Mermaid bedding and my son had Toy Story.
They were best buddies during those years, it was really sweet :)

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i think it would be fine until one of them was about ten or before if you see its time for the kids to have some personal space...mainly because they get sooo moody. http://www.ohdeedoh.com/ has several options on co-roomies! you can get a little advice and tons of ideas on decorating . i would not want to put a toddler with a infant ...i am just a worrier and would be freaking out durring sleeping hours that the toddler would crawl in or throw a toy to the baby. even trying to be nice it could be dangerous. you did not state the ages of your girls so i am not sure if that would be the case for you.

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Mine are still sharing by choice, so I can't say when that will stop. As far as decorating, the room is painted a very light, icy blue. There are glow in the dark stars on the wall, and each has their own comforter (boy has super heroes and girl has a patterned quilt).

1 mom found this helpful

We only have 2 bedrooms so I will be moving my 2 year old in with her 5 year old brother. Hopefully this will hold a few years at least, though probably not more than 5 at most. I have a lot of bright colors and nature stuff (fish, animals).

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I think until they are around 3 years old is okay. After that they need to be housed in same gender bedrooms.

In other words, as soon as both girls are on the same sleep schedule and probably in elementary school then they should be sharing the room together, of course they should have the largest room in the house, and can divide it by way of screens, curtains, tape on the floor, etc...if they start having issues but by that time you should be able to have the extra room built.

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Yup. My son and daughter are 13 months apart (5 and 4 years old), and they have shared a room since birth. I see no problem with it. Not forever, mind you. Puberty is a time for privacy for all sorts of reasons. But, when they are young? Sure.

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We have two rooms for children. Right now the oldest (4YO) has her own room and the other two (2YO boy and 8month old girl) are sharing the "nursery". It is biege and has crayons painted in primary colors on the wall below the chair-rail. It is pretty gender nuetral.

Not sure how long I'lll keep them together. I had meant to keep the older two together in the one room longer than we did. (Number 3 was a lovely surprise but accelerated plans a bit...)

Good luck.
~C.

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I think, by the time the boy is say, In Kindergarten or Preschool, the girls will be of Pre-Teen or Teen ages? ... and then, their body will be developing and then "they" WILL want their own privacy, their own rooms.

Having them all in one room, will not be for long.

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My younger sister and brother - 1 1/2y apart- roomed together until my brother was 4y.

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I personally shared a room with my younger brother (we were 31/2 yrs apart). We shared for six years. It was totally fine and a lot of fun. We had a decent sized room and we had bunk beds. When I was 10 and my brother was 61/2 we moved to a bigger home and I got my own room. I felt at that point it was the appropriate time to separate us.
Congrats on your new baby!

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Kids are supposed to be seprated in rooms once one of them turn 5. I mean its an individual choice. My daughter has always had ger own room and mt two sons who are 3 years and 4 months apart had always shared a room. The are all grown now but this set up worked perfectly. J.

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If you decide to put the younger two together, make sure it is discussed as a treat for the younger one. You can tell the older one privately that you want her to have her privacy since she is older, etc. Then tell the younger one secretly (in her eyes) that she is the lucky one that GETS to have the baby in her room. You can tell her that since she is younger, she will be able to understand what the baby needs, or that she will remember more what it was like to be a baby, etc. It is important how you "sell" this as girls can have such emotional reactions to change.

In both cases, you need both of the girls to feel needed. Find jobs for them to do that fit their personality and gifts that show how important they are with a new baby. Ask their opinion often (even when you don't need it) so they feel valued. It's hard to have a cute, needy baby come into their home and disrupt their lives.

Decorating is easy because the baby will not know or care. Let the one who will share decide how to decorate. Then it will feel more like her room. You can ask her what you think the baby would want, but it is more important for the room to be decorated the way she would want it. To make sure your older daughter doesn't feel left out, be sure to ask her if there is anything she would like to change about her room (within reason). Be sensitive to anything that appears to minimize the girls' needs.

Enjoy!

My brother and I shared a room until I moved out. There was nothing weird about it and my parents were doing the best they could. Other people always seemed to have an issue with it but I don't think either of us cared. All we did was sleep in there. So, I would say you'd be just fine to have little ones share. We didn't find out with our first child if it was a girl or boy so we decorated with a safari animal theme, both our girls love it! Congrats and I wouldn't stress out too much right now about an additional room!

We lived in an apartment in Paris, France when my younger daughter was born. She shared a room with my son, 17 months older, until my older daughter left for college 2 years later. There were no issues with boy/girl stuff when they were little, just one waking the other issues a bit. We kept the baby in a bassinette in our room until she slept through the night at about 4 months. Since it was a rental apartment, we didn't so much decorate as furnish with 2 cribs and a dresser and a rocking chair with storage for toys. We kept it pretty simple. If I were doing more decorating for both, I would go with bright primary colors for little ones.

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