18 answers

Do You Ground from Activities You Pay For?

I'm just wondering if you ground your kids from the activities you pay for like sports. So far we just ground from TV, phone, playdates, etc. I haven't been able to bring myself to ground from dance lessons when we pay a lot of money for her to go! Also, grounding her from team sports when the team is depending on her seems to be punishing the team. So far we've never had to get that far, behavior has always corrected when being grounded from the other privileges.

Just looking for other's thoughts on the subject.

2 moms found this helpful

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

Team sports are a responsibility to the team, and should be supported . The best punishment is to add chores to their responsibilities instead of taking things away. That gives them less time to get into mischief, and you don't have to feel guilty for letting coaches and teammembers down. That's the way the world works--- when you screw something up, you have to work harder or longer to make up for it.

2 moms found this helpful

I never grounded my son from sports or other things like that (even if I didn't pay for them) because I saw that as a commitment. I paid for them, we made a commitment, and the coaches were going to show up...not to mention the rest of the team.

I would ground him from a dance (unless he had a date...not her fault), being a spectator at a game, electronics of all kinds, and telephone.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

I grew up with a mom who grounded and deprived for any infraction, and it made no sense at all to me, except in the rare event that it was that particular toy or privilege that had been abused. Looking for a better way to raise my daughter, I found that reasonable, respectful, authoritative parenting got fabulous results, and I've seen the same in other families using this approach.

If you want to try this lovely approach, the very best and most informative book I've yet found is How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk, by Faber and Mazlish. It coaches parents on how to make the child a working part of any solution, and because the kids get to help determine their future course, they are invested in making it work. Brilliant book, with many wonderful and effective techniques. I use it with my 4.5yo grandson all the time, and we have the most marvelous team interactions.

4 moms found this helpful

I am not a grounder at all - yet. I still have 2 more soon to be teens to raise.

When I was growing up and I watched my girlfriends get 'grounded' for some odd reason, I remembered then, I will never do that to my own children, b/c I noticed how ineffective it was. The parents are pissed, they say they're going to take this, that or the other away, and then the mean ones follow through on 2-3 weeks of tortuous solitude or give in. Either way the kids learned that their parents weren't going to follow through on their threats, or they were lonely and unforgiven for just too long. I believe children are way smarter than we give them credit.

I'm a get mad in the moment, tell them what went wrong, what we're going to to do in the future to make this not happen again and go to your room so I can have a moment to regain my composure and come out when you can offer a sincere, heartfelt sorry. Then we kiss and make up.

I just remember seeing how ticked off over time my friends became towards their parents and how much they learned to lie to them to avoid these ridiculous and ineffective means of punishments.

And I want to add, I have the most well mannered, sweet, sympathetic, kind, loving kids around. I am complemented ALL the time on their behavior at other's homes, at school events, in public places. It is a pleasure taking being with them.

2 moms found this helpful

Team sports are a responsibility to the team, and should be supported . The best punishment is to add chores to their responsibilities instead of taking things away. That gives them less time to get into mischief, and you don't have to feel guilty for letting coaches and teammembers down. That's the way the world works--- when you screw something up, you have to work harder or longer to make up for it.

2 moms found this helpful

Any that aren't team sports... yup.

1 mom found this helpful

Absolutely. I've only had to threaten it to date, but I sure would. If whatever the offense is warrants that kind of punishment, sure. I'll take the financial hit for her to get the message. For example, my 7 year old has some big dance shows coming up. She has been dancing for 5 years now and is on a competitive dance team. BUT, her room was a MESS. I told her over and over to clean it. Even gave her small amounts to do, but it was still not done. When I finally told her if it was not done in time to go to dance then she would not go and then not be in the show, then she got it done.

As far as team sports - YES!! Doesnt that teach them to be more responsible or they will let other people down?

1 mom found this helpful

I see it as those team sports and specialty lessons as character builders. Kids really need these, especially when they are feeling down and embarrassed or upset about being in trouble and grounded, or are having a hard time with something in their life that is causing them to act out. I think it is cruel to ground or remove kids from team sports as punishment... unless what they did is extremely serious, but that would be a very rare occurrence.

1 mom found this helpful

I never grounded my son from sports or other things like that (even if I didn't pay for them) because I saw that as a commitment. I paid for them, we made a commitment, and the coaches were going to show up...not to mention the rest of the team.

I would ground him from a dance (unless he had a date...not her fault), being a spectator at a game, electronics of all kinds, and telephone.

1 mom found this helpful

isn't the purpose of grounding taking away something they enjoy? if they enjoy the sport you're paying for, it's fair game!

1 mom found this helpful

1 / 3
Required Fields

Our records show that we already have a Mamapedia or Mamasource account created for you under the email address you entered.

Please enter your Mamapedia or Mamasource password to continue signing in.

Required Fields

, you’re almost done...

Since this is the first time you are logging in to Mamapedia with Facebook Connect, please provide the following information so you can participate in the Mamapedia community.

As a member, you’ll receive optional email newsletters and community updates sent to you from Mamapedia, and your email address will never be shared with third parties.

By clicking "Continue to Mamapedia", I agree to the Mamapedia Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy.