29 answers

Do You Go to Every One of Your Child's Sporting Games Without Fail?

This Saturday I have plans to get together with a girlfriend who is moving out of State.

We have been BFF’s since elementary school and we don’t see each other as often as we like. I have 2 kids and she has none.

All she asked was that we make a day of it. She wants to meet for lunch at noon, go see a movie, shopping at an outdoor mall, dinner and then her favorite place for coffee and dessert.

My 5 y/o son’s soccer game is from 1:00-2:00 and I’ve never missed any of my kid’s games.

I’m faltering between missing his game and starting our day together at noon or telling her I cannot miss my son’s game and I will see her at 3pm.

DH doesn’t think I should miss his game as my son would be disappointed as he has been so accustomed to seeing me there. That’s his opinion not what my son said. LOL!!

What would you do?

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

To answer the question: My other child is older and her soccer game is in the morning.

Thank you sssooooooo much for all your advice & opinions. I went ahead and asked my friend about going to the game and she said she would!

That was a great suggestion and now I get the best of both worlds!

Featured Answers

My girls aren't in sports, but there have been many times that I've missed one of their activities. I think it's important for children to understand that you love them and support them, but that you also have other responsibilities and can't always physically be there.

3 moms found this helpful

My parents did not go to every game. My husband's parents, on the otherhand, would alternate so the kids never felt left alone yet did not think everyone else revolved around them. It became especially helpful when there were games scheduled at the same time. Mom would go one week, dad the other...and if only one kid had a game it became a family event! (Keep in mind that people who are not parents can sometimes be less understanding and you did day she is moving and you don't see each other much anyway...just some things to consider.)

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

i attend most of my kid's events, but i think this is a good opportunity for him to learn that MOMMY has a life too and the world doesn't revolve around him... many kids nowadays grow up with that mindset, then realize the hardcore reality that it's not true when they're 18 or 20 and don't know what to do when the world doesn't stop everytime they do something lol! my opinion is go out with your friend, and DON'T feel guilty about it.

4 moms found this helpful

I think if your son is only 5 he will survive you missing one game. go and have fun and let your hubby handle one game on his own

4 moms found this helpful

Let me start by saying that my kids & husband come first. However, you need to go and hang out with your friend. Talk to your son, (he does not get to make your decision) explain the situation. I get that he is only 5, but he also can learn a lesson on being a good friend and what that means. If his dad is going to be at the game, that should be enough, for one day. I think it would be good for him to see what it means to be a good friend. Sometimes when a friend needs you there, for them, you have to do something that is maybe not what you want to do. That is what a true friend does for another friend. This is a terrific teaching moment. A friend is a friend thru thick and thin....if your son was having surgery, that would be a different story or if she wanted you to join something that would keep you from several games, it would be okay to say no but really it's one soccer game and she is moving out of state. Really seems like a no brainer. There should be no guilt involved, instead you should feel proud of yourself for being a good friend and a good mom all in one day.

4 moms found this helpful

It's not going to traumatize him for life if you miss ONE soccer game. I don't think I'd make a big habit of missing his activities, but this sounds like a special situation. Explain to him that you won't be there this time and ask your husband to tape it so you and your son can watch it together later. My parents didn't attend EVERY game/activity and I turned out ok ;)

3 moms found this helpful

I think SH has nailed it on the head. In my opinion, we moms put too much pressure/ guilt on ourselves and your husband is doing it to you, too. As a mom that LOVES and has missed very few of my son's games I know how you feel, but this is a once in a lifetime opportunity to say goodbye to your friend. Your son will have MANY more events to attend and this could be a teaching opportunity for him, as well. He will learn how to be a good friend and to put other's needs first and it will be fun for him to recap the whole game just for you. Mom's are people too (once in a blue moon:)). By the way, your day with your girlfriend sounds like a LOT of fun. Can I come, too? Good luck with your choice.

3 moms found this helpful

My 6 year old son played tball during this last spring (when he was 5) and I went to Every Game and Every Practice. My husband was my sons coach though too.
Also, I was elected to be a rep for my middle childs school board. I was very excited until it turned out that it would interfere with my oldests sons wrestling schedule. I resigned from my position this morning. I am a stay at home mom and I cant miss a single game or practice for my kids... But thats just me.
Maybe talk to your son. Ask him if he wants mommy at his game or if its ok if mommy misses just this one...
If your son wants you there then maybe make the girls day for Sunday?

3 moms found this helpful

Oh heavens, miss the game! He has a lifetime of games ahead of him. I'm a HS teacher, and I always find it sad when there are kids involved in sports and their parents _never_ come. Still, you're not talking about never going, you're talking about missing one game!

Honestly, I think that your friendship will probably be damaged if you can't carve out this time for her before she goes. I know I'd be hurt in that situation (and I have kids, so I "get it" a little more). Your relationship with your son, however, will be just fine.

3 moms found this helpful

I agree with Jennifer. Go out with your friend and enjoy yourself. If he does get upset, your son will learn an important lesson that you are a person outside of being his mom. If he doesn't get upset, no harm, no foul! To put it in perspective, which is going to be more important in 5 weeks, 5 months, or 5 years: a 5 year old's soccer game or spending time with a life long, dear friend that is moving away?

3 moms found this helpful

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