Do You Get Grief for Having a Savings Account?

Them: "You couldn't afford to go skiing, but you can afford a new car?"

You: "We can afford a new car because we decided not to go skiing."

13 moms found this helpful

I'm with Jubee--who would actually have the NERVE to question your money management?!

We're Dave Ramsay fans, and even if you're not--you're sure living his motto, which is:

"Live like no one else, so that you can live like no one else!"

You're right, they're wrong. And jealous.

I've even had people on this site, that know we're in a decent financial situation, suggest that I "just pay for a friends health care if I was SO concerned about her!" because I had the audacity to suggest all people deserve health care, even the poor & struggling.
Jealousy abounds! You're on the right track. It's no sin to be fiscally responsible and you certainly don't need to explain your choices to anyone! Least of all people with a poor financial track record (which they probably have)!

6 moms found this helpful

What some people don't understand is that saving gives people a choice.... you saved, you stayed on budget, therefore, you allow yourself the option to purchase a car.. Also, you really don't owe an explanation at all..

6 moms found this helpful

I'd say "Not that it's any of your business, but we are able to buy a car with cash because we scrimp, save & budget on a daily basis. You should try it sometime. By the way, how's that car payment treating you?!"

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That's actually pretty funny. In my circle, you would be more prone to get grief for NOT having a savings account or two. :P
From how I see it, there's 4 options here, and you're an adult and have the choice to do whatever you want.
1. You can blow them off and ignore it. (That's not really me).
2. You can put them in their place by saying "How we manage our finances is noone's business but our own". (You have the right to say this, and I would say it if it was someone that was not a friend or family member, but just some random person at the boys' school or something).
3. You can say, "We made some sacrifices BECAUSE we were actively saving for this car". (Which is what I'd be likely to my "in general" family and friends).
4. You could also take this as an educational opportunity for those that are very close to you, or someone you'd like to help with their own situation and explain your beliefs and what you are doing, to show them a better way to handle their own problems. Not because you need to explain anything to them about your own life, but because you are close to someone and see that they could use some knowledge you've acquired. They'll either be happy you shared and learn something, or not ask again because they don't want to be preached to. I did see some things that my bff was doing that was kinda messed up in my opinion. I didn't say anything because it wasn't my business but when she came to me to complain, I said "Well, can I show you what I've done to help myself? And showed her how we did a budget, our little plan (not with numbers but with "the plan"), how I file my coupons and my little shopping system, etc. She actually adopted some of what I showed her and she's happy about the results.
You know these people better than I do, obviously. You know your situation. But there are the choices that I see you have....pick what you think pertains to your situation and be at peace about it. But truthfully, I think there's something wrong with people who have no budget, no plan, and spend money on "fun stuff" with no savings or understanding of at least trying to save. (I know lots of people aren't currently making enough to save right now, I'm not judging them. I'm talking about people who buy things frivolously, go out to eat, want to rent a condo on the beach, but have no savings). You did good here. If someone's annoyed with you, they're jealous.

5 moms found this helpful

A LOT of good answers here already, but here's my 2 cents. Perhaps onlookers feel duped/lied to. In as positive of a tone as you can offer, you might console those close to you with a little explanation. It certainly is not anyone's business but yours how you budget/spend, but let's face it, people have no idea what is or is not their business in this day and age now that common decency IS NO LONGER COMMON has been replaced with reality TV.
I commend you on your ability to save and I'm sure that anyone in your circle who is truly your friend or has your best interest at heart will be VERY PROUD of you, too. I would take this as an opportunity to examine who exactly I consider my "friends". Perhaps you are surrounded by acquaintances.

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Wow how presumptuous of them to ask or comment.
It is none of their business.

IF you feel you need to reply, just tell them you all have been saving for a car, because you knew you needed one and you wanted to pay cash.

5 moms found this helpful

My BIL and SIL do this and it's how they pay for 2 week vacations to the beach. People get all up in arms about it.

I think that it's completely appropriate to say, "How we manage our money is no one's business but our own."

4 moms found this helpful

The truth is you could get the car BECAUSE you couldn't do the other stuff - the car was your goal for part of your savings and you had priorities. If they don't want to hear that, it's their problem. You don't owe them an explanation, but the truth is the best in this case, it seems to me.

And I agree with some of the other moms, they're jealous.

4 moms found this helpful

Annoying, isn't it? My go to phrase is, "It's all about choices." Some people wonder where their money goes when they don't buy too many bigger items, but they forget that they eat out lunch everyday and sometimes breakfast or dinner ... oh, wait, that's me! Just kidding, but I do need to work on it.

Good for you for planning and watching and working towards a goal. I think one of the biggest challenges on our society is that we are so used to getting what we want when we want it. Too many of us have forgotten about planning ahead and about delayed gratification. And those plastic cards are so easy to use ... until they get used way too much and it all catches up with you.

Keep doing what you're doing!

4 moms found this helpful

Wow. Sorry about this. It's amazing how everything is everybody's business in our world these days. First of all, you should not have to respond to these people, as it is none of their business. If you want to respond, just say that you do not have enough money to pay for everything you would like to do, and you have to prioritize, like every person should. A new car was a priority, so you saved for it by not spendin money on other things that were not a high enough priority. You should be proud of yourselves for living the right way, so don't let these people pull you down.

4 moms found this helpful

I would say "Yep, we got this car because we worked for it. deal with it." Be proud of being able to pay cash for a car. I bet your friends are in debt without any savings. Enjoy the fruits of your labor and diligence and don't feel like you have to justify it to anyone.

4 moms found this helpful

It's none of their business and they are probably jealous that you were able to purchase your car with cash. It takes commitment and not living for the moment when you do this.

You still live your life - but you set goals and you obtain them.

Tell them to kiss your grits...

4 moms found this helpful

Good for you! A simple, "We have our priorities straight" should shut up any jealous people and maybe give them food for thought.

4 moms found this helpful

Hello, There are always going to be people who think they know how you should spend your money. To them I would say, "Thank-you for your concern, but we are doing just fine. We sometimes do without things we don't really need so that we can save for the things that really matter."
Good luck.
K. K.

4 moms found this helpful

Well, you could ignore the comments. That would be appropriate.

Or you could tell them what you're telling us - that getting a car was your savings goal and you achieved your goal.

Being a lady, you'll do this nicely, of course: "We've wanted a car for years and we were determined not to go into debt to get it." It doesn't pay to get all huffy; actually, that's a waste of time.

Sometimes spontaneous comments like these fall into the sour-grapes category. The speaker may be thinking, "I wish I had a new car, so I sorta wish they didn't."

4 moms found this helpful

I would say to them "We saved the money for XXX months so we could pay cash, we like being debt free as much as possible".

3 moms found this helpful

Just tell people you knew you would need a new car and did not want to be irresponsible about it so you saved. What YOU spend YOUR money on is YOUR business, especially if you are not borrowing from THEM.

I'm wondering if they are feeling like you don't do things with them so it's not the $ but the time. Or maybe they wish they could buy a car, too.

I only go "hrm...." when someone says they can't do x or y, but they do something equally expensive while not fulfilling their obligations to their family. Your electricity got cut off but last month you went on a Mediterranean cruise? Hrm.

Frankly, a savings account to float us for a few months is PART of our budget and we go on big vacations only when the vacation fund can compensate. We SAVE so we can play, or cover the mortgage. Saving is responsible living. We were glad we saved when our sewer main broke and we had to pay $4k to get the yard dug up and replaced from our house to the county line. It hurt, but it didn't cripple us - because we saved.

3 moms found this helpful

I would say something to the effect of "well, since you do not seem to know how to manage your money, I would be glad to teach you so that one day you can pay cash for your car too." You have control over your money, the money isn't controling you. Be proud, that is tough to do. On just a little side note though, you could budget in just a few dollars for those pre-school snacks if you wanted. So you could put $2 (or whatever denomination you feel comfortable with) aside a week and then when it is your week, you would have the money. I'm not sure if it's fair if all parents are pitching in and you're not. Maybe that is where some resentment comes in? The clothes shopping thing though doesn't affect anyone but you, so there shouldn't be any resentment if you don't want to spend money on clothes.

3 moms found this helpful

Well I think you guys are AWESOME! We did the same thing, paid cash for a van....but obviously made other sacrifices to do that. Keep it up!!!!!

3 moms found this helpful

oh my word!! Kiss my grits!! !?!?!? LMAO!! Thank you Shirley! I've not heard that one in YEARS!!!

Sam - I would tell them to pound sand. Seriously. it sounds like they are envious of your position - that you actually say "NO, not in the budget" - not "no we can't afford that" - to me BIG difference between budget and afford...you and your husband stuck to your guns and knew what you wanted...you didn't fall for the "see it, want it, buy it" or media hoopla!!

No, my family doesn't give us flak about our savings account. None of my friends do either. They know we budget and are a cash only family. The respect that we make the appropriate choices for our family.

YOU GO GIRL!!!

3 moms found this helpful

Unless you owe them money they need to shut the "f" up!

That is one of the dumbest things ever. The world doesn't HAVE to revolve around STUFF, using credit cards and going into debt.

3 moms found this helpful

Oh, yeah. Stuff like that happens all the time. It makes me crazy.

Anyone who DOESN'T have a savings account is living dangerously, in my opinion!

We've only purchased a brand new car once, and don't plan to do so ever again. We do NOT want a car payment, and the difference in years does NOT equal the difference in price. We buy used cars, usually with cash. We've gotten so much grief, and I really hate it when people say things like, "How can you put your kids in a used car? Isn't their safety important to you?" The fact that we've never been in a wreck, never been stranded, never had any type of safety issue (and my oldest is 24!) is apparently not enough.

We also get a lot of, "Oh, you drive a crappy car and live in an old house, but you have money to travel?" That's right, we do! It's BECAUSE we don't spend money on things like alcohol, tobacco and fancy jewelry or have two car payments, a boat payment, cosmetic surgery payments, payments on who knows what else that we can, and do, travel. I will not apologize for that. Experiences last; things don't.

I usually point out that I don't get to make choices for anyone else, and therefore they don't get to make them for me. I also point out that everything is a trade off. I carry a decidedly unfashionable purse, but I just booked a trip to Hawaii. I know which I'd rather have!

As with most other rude and intrusive comments, blowing them off is better than trying to explain yourself. Don't get defensive, and don't feel that you have to explain or that others have to agree with you.

3 moms found this helpful

I think it's great that you live within your means. I am confused though because you said you are unable to bring snacks for daycare and preschool. Does that mean you child goes without a snack or does it mean that there are say 14 parents that share the responsibility and when it's your turn, you can't do your part?

If you partake from other people willingly but when it's your turn, you can't, yeah...that might rub me the wrong way. In other words, if your child gets a snack provided by other kid's parents 13 days but on the 14th day, on your turn, all the kids have to fend for themselves, that isn't cool. Maybe I am misunderstanding the situation.

But if you are fully self-supporting and living within your means while not partaking from others--or if you do and returning the favor--awesome job! "We live within our means." is a sufficient statement is more than enough, in my view.

2 moms found this helpful

If I talked to my mom shed say something like that! We also live on a strict budgets that we can save money. I'd rather live on a budget and have money saved so when something does happen we have the money to use.

Edited: that's our motto too! The only debt we have is the house and it's always paid on time :)

2 moms found this helpful

It sounds like jealousy, pure and simple, Sam. Jealousy of your ability to stick to your budget even when it means giving up doing something fun, so that you DO have money to buy what your family needs, including larger purchases.

Tell them exactly what you told us when they talk like this. It's BECAUSE you didn't go outside your budget every single week that you CAN afford to make necessary purchases later. Then add that you hope that in the future, your budget can be expanded so that you can have a little more wiggle room to enjoy doing things that you haven't been able to afford in your current budget.

If they keep pushing at you, it's because they aren't being very nice, and you just walk away in the middle of their conversation so that they "get" that they are really being rude.

Hugs, Sam!
D.

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Ignor those people who give you a bad time for buying a car when you didnt do some other thing due to the cost. You did it the way we all should. You SAVED for the car and didnt lose focus on the plan by being swayed into spending the money elsewhere. If you spent all the income on the fun stuff youd never have a car, or pay the gas bill, or electricity. Just tell them you saved for the car and that money was FOR the car, not snack at school or whatever. How cool is that!!! What did you buy??
edit,, it would be different if you werent paying your bills or owed someone money. (o:

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Just smile and say you sleep wonderfully at night knowing you have as little debt as possible.

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I cannot believe the gall of these people! It is absolutely none of their business what you do with your money. I think the best response besides silence is, "Why would you say such a thing?"

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You're just going to have to ignore them. We live the same way and bought a minivan with cash a year and a half ago. We have no debt besides our house and the rest of my student loan (which is going to be paid off with my husband's next bonus). We all have to decide how and where we are willing to spend our money. Some people ONLY want to drive a new car. We bought a used one. Some people LOVE fancy restaurants. We can deal with cooking at home or going to Chili's (and even that is expensive these days!). It is all about what you place your value in and as long as you and your husband are on the same page, then you're just going to have to ignore the rest of the people and their comments. Give them an explanation if you want, but don't feel obligated to. Bottom line, your money, your decisions. Good luck and congrats for being one of the very few people in this country living without the weight of credit card debt! :-)

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reading between the lines looks like you are coming acrose as stingy. I don't think sticking to a budget and having a savings account are the things people are giving you grief over.

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Its not their business.
Financial affairs of a couple are private. It is their business.
You/Hubby saved up for this and was still sticking to your budget.
It is no one else's business.

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My money my business.

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Uh, why is this even a question? You don't owe anyone an explanation for how you choose to spend your money. If they really care, then they can sit with you and inquire about your financial planning and where you place value, and you can share with them as much as you want. If they are attacking the way you take care of YOUR business, you don't have to waste energy on saying any words. Just get quiet and look at them. Or walk away. If you MUST say something..."This is what we decided to do with OUR money." People with good sense understand how it works.

2 moms found this helpful

I think it might be the way you turn down things, that you feel you need to pass on in order to save, that brings on these comments. A short explantion, similiar to what you told us & accompanied by a smile, would likely put a top to comments. I admire people who save and have priorties well set. Other people do too, but it needs to be nicely said so that you elicit their understanding.

1 mom found this helpful

Tell them that you have plans for your money or "other" plans for your money. We do nice trips that we can get last minute deals on sometimes and within those weeks we sometimes get invited to go do things with friends (theme parks, nice dinners, etc.) I have not PLANNED my money to go there. It is going somewhere else so I *don't* have the money. Its not that I out and out can not afford it. It is that I CHOOSE to put my money elsewhere.

1 mom found this helpful

I think it is great that you could do that! The only thing that throws me is your comment "offering to bring snacks for daycare, preschool, or school that particular week"... how is that split up? Did you agree to bring them but now arent because you want to stay on buget? Who is supposed to bring the snacks? Parents or the school?

1 mom found this helpful

wow Jane gave a weird response. People get jealous and the majority of Americans don't understand to save and buy smart. Hence all the personal debt and people's screwed up priorities. I would smile and say "it really isn't any of your business but we follow a strict budget and this car came out of the car fund." People feel better when they try and drag down others to their situation. It makes them feel less insecure.

1 mom found this helpful

Say exactly what you said to us. Pretty soon they'll get the point. And finish it off by asking them how they purchased some super expensive item themselves, that'll shut the combative ones up.
Saving is great but if it's something you NEED, not WANT, then dipping in isn't always a bad thing.

1 mom found this helpful

Good for you & your husband! My husband & I are determined to be great financial role models for our children. I wouldn't even waste my breath responding to those negative comments.

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I love, love having a company car as part of my compensation!! I don't care if it's an Impala!

They are jealous of you! Exactly, you could buy it because you saved! We got those comments when I bought my daughter her new car at 15.5 years. Her dad and I both drive company cars that she isn't allowed to drive and I didn't want her driving all over Southern California in a beater car. I could afford it outright.

1 mom found this helpful

How about: That's WHY we didn't have money for ____, because we were saving for a car.
People are really clueless about finances these days. Everyone assumes that having a car payment is "normal" and that as long as you can afford a car payment then however much payment you can afford is what kind of car you get, and that as soon as it is paid off, (or sooner?) you are supposed to trade it in for another payment- I mean, car. It seems backwards to people to save up to buy something---everyone expects everything to be paid for on a payment plan. It is so much better (and way smarter) to save in advance and buy something outright. (as you well know).

You can't make them smart, or make them agree with you, but a simple answer to questions tends to either shut them down or help them "get it" faster.
The fun part is going to be that now they will all expect you to suddenly have plenty of money to do all those things that you didn't do before. When, you probably are saving for another item, maybe even starting a "fund" for the future replacement of THAT car when it wears out (or repair bills)....
You are so ahead of the game, and they just don't know it.
Congrats!

1 mom found this helpful

If you need a car, you get one, why should these people care if you bought it or are paying for it? They should be minding their own business. Two years ago our car (my husband and I share one which we had paid off) was totaled in an accident caused by someone else. We got the insurance money, and then used a good chunk savings for the other half of a brand new Subaru Outback. No one knew we bought it with cash, no one cared. We were really proud of it ourselves, as we never wanted to have to pay on a car again. Saving and living within your means is great, maybe tell people that?

1 mom found this helpful

Oh, I hate those type of comments from people too. Last spring when we registered our daughter for all day kindergarten, I wrote out a check for the the whole year of school ($2,987.00), rather than paying it month to month. A few ladies in line made comments like, "It must be nice to do that, " or "How are you able to write that check?" These are people who don't know me or my husband. So rude!

BTW, in our district, we have to pay for all day kindergarten...just in case you were wondering.

My husband has a great paying job, but that doesn't mean we spend it all. We are savers and live well below our means. Our families know my husband makes a good salary, so they are always asking why we don't buy this or that. We just tell them we want to be 100% prepared for a rainy day....and college for the kids :)

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My fam is alot like yours.I had to get a new car I went all summer using my hubs truck took him to/from work everday stayed home all day unless I had to go to the store etc. no fun with 3 kids in tow.Mine is new to me but used 2005 Ford Freestyle,we paid cash for it.All we heard was how I needed a mini van I didn't want a mini van at the time but now only 3 weeks after I purchased my car I found out we are having baby #4 maybe everyone knew all along that the great option is a mini van,now we are looking into mini vans not new by any means (I WISH)but used.This isn't going to go over very well with others it seems that everyone has their opinion,meaning that I should of listened so what I already talked to my hubs about it that is all the matters.We are on a budget I haven't been able to go the store all week because of our budget plus all bills were paid had to eat up what I already bought from the store & stored in the freezer & let things just run out,this just kills me becasue I love to keep a stock pile of everyday things.How I wanted to shop for maternity clothes this week,new shoes for hubs,& get everything for Halloween but nope this voice inside my head says it will be alright to go a few days without till payday.Having a savings acct is a safety net just because we don't go out & shop daily for things that we need or want & just gotta have doesn't mean we are poor or financially unfit it's because we are smart with our money & need it to put to better use than to blow it off on needless things.People are so consumed with debt, credit cards we can't do that we have a family & don't want our debts to effect them if we begin now who know's what it will be like in 10 yrs. so why start.I provide treats for school functions,snacks for preschool when asked,clothing is an all month buying for the kids so for I don't get behind on them but for myself & hubs we wait till bills are paid.That is the real important issue with us bills not being late or getting a notice errrr how that time bomb ticks.But it has happened especailly during his layofff times & part time employment full time with no benefits & the medical bills that weren't covered.I don't know what happened about saving it seems that it's not normal to save for what you want becasue there is a credit card for that well how will you pay that bill when you didn't save for it.I do understand the ocassional buy it now on the card or the we put everythign on the card to pay it off at the end of them month just o rack up points on our balance it's the ones that think living off them the bill comes & their surprised how much they own on it they didn't realize how much they actually spent freely.
We'll it's not a new car new to you but used,& this is what your family needed it's a car transportation to get you to work the kids to school.I would just ignore the comments.There are many things we don't do or go to I don't see the reason to waste the money on whatever it is.