27 answers

Do You Believe in SoulMates?

Hi All,
Just wondering how many of you out there believe in the idea of real true honest to goodness SoulMates? The real deal? Two halves of the same souls? Two people who truly belong to only one another?

Would love to hear thoughts...& if any of you feel like you've met yours, would love to hear what the connection feels like!?

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

My husband, whom I've been with for the last 16+ years told me out if the blue the other day that he's always believed I was his SoulMate.

It caught me off guard.
I guess I'm not much of a romantic?

Loved everyone's input, as always!! 💜

Featured Answers

No.
Two people cannot have half of the same soul. If you are not a whole person alone, then another person cannot make you whole.

People do not belong to one another. Each person belongs to him/herself, and people in love share themselves with one another.

10 moms found this helpful

No I don't believe in soul mates. Having said that I can not imagine that there is another man on this planet that I would be more compatible with than my husband. We rarely fight, we laugh frequently together and I just have a great time being with him. We are simply happy together.
Now if I lived some where else I am very confident that I would have met someone to marry and have children with and be happy with.

If however someone were to argue that my husband is my soul mate I would say what a coincidence that my "soul mate" just happened to live 30 minutes from me growing up, speaks my language, is around my age etc.😊

8 moms found this helpful

Yes, why not? Those that say no just haven't found theirs yet ;-)
I believe I have found mine and my wife feels the same. She was married 13 years before we met and I was married 16 yrs previously.
Five years ago last Tuesday we met for the first time. I could go on and on about a bunch of sappy stuff, but trust me, she is my soul mate.

7 moms found this helpful

More Answers

In a way, I think it does exist. Only, I don't think it has to be romantic, or just with one person. I do feel like I have that connection with my husband, but it was there when we were friends. Before we even had romantic feelings for each other, I knew he'd be in my life forever. (At that time, I thought as a friend. He still is my best friend, but he is more now of course.) I have a friend who very much connects with my soul. She is someone I could not imagine my life without. My connection with her is completely different with any other person. And you know what? I don't even think a soulmate has to be human. Especially dogs, have the ability to complete a person. Although, all animals have the potential.

I think the problem with "soulmates" is people think it must be their spouse, and they aren't really in love with someone if they don't feel like a soulmate. Neither are true, in my opinion.

13 moms found this helpful

No.
Two people cannot have half of the same soul. If you are not a whole person alone, then another person cannot make you whole.

People do not belong to one another. Each person belongs to him/herself, and people in love share themselves with one another.

10 moms found this helpful

No I don't believe in soul mates. Having said that I can not imagine that there is another man on this planet that I would be more compatible with than my husband. We rarely fight, we laugh frequently together and I just have a great time being with him. We are simply happy together.
Now if I lived some where else I am very confident that I would have met someone to marry and have children with and be happy with.

If however someone were to argue that my husband is my soul mate I would say what a coincidence that my "soul mate" just happened to live 30 minutes from me growing up, speaks my language, is around my age etc.😊

8 moms found this helpful

Intellectually - no.

In my heart - yes.

;)

8 moms found this helpful

Nope. I believe any human has many potential matches with which to have a "soul mate like" relationship.
I believe some people have a stronger pull if attraction to each other--be it physical chemistry, intellectual ideals, etc.
But as far as " there is O. perfect half to me somewhere in the universe"? Nah.

You can have amazing physical attraction and connectedness to someone but that doesn't mean they are "it" for you in all aspects if life.

You can have "pretty good" connectivity on all levels yet the relationship might lack attraction.

I think there are lots of things going on at lots of levels with EVERY relationship we have.

I think true grace is in choosing a mate that challenges, complements and supports the relationship.

I've said it many times in this site and I think it bears repeating: far too few people put enough stock in the "choosing" part of a marital partner. Too many people settle. Too many people think the person will change after marriage. Too many people take the first ball thrown Dow the pike, so to speak.

The idea that there is O. perfect soulmate in the world for each if us is kind of ridiculous, IMO.

That said, when you choose well, it sure feels like a soul mate!

8 moms found this helpful

Perhaps this is the 'sadder but wiser' way of thinking, but no, I do not believe in this idea. I do believe that people can be very immediately and deeply attracted to each other-- I felt that the moment I saw my husband, but we didn't get together for another year (we were both on the cusp of divorcing our ex-spouses and needed to get our own stuff straightened out first).

What I do believe in? If two people are committed, willing to do the work, ethical in how they treat each other (honest), if they are willing to have the same goals and have a relatively similar outlook on life, things can work and couples can grow in love with each other. If you are willing to remember that through ALL kinds of relationships, feelings will wax and wane... if one is willing to stay committed, faithful and loving to each other even during those times that they have fallen out of love with each other --and most relationships have times of falling in and out of love... it is maturity that lets us see the long journey for what it is-- if both people are willing to do that, they create a strong bond with each other.

I guess I eschewed the soulmate idea long ago as an unrealistic, immature idyll of what love was supposed to be. There has to be more, more substance, more work, more tenacity involved to make a marriage work, to make a family strong. My husband is my better half-- I am a better person for him, because of him. I adore him some days and on others he makes me nuts. THAT is what I think the 'soulmate' idea misses... yes, people can grandly and wonderfully be 'perfect' for each other, but life is not perfect and then we must have much more to offer each other besides the sweet happenstance of kismet! :) Destiny didn't just bring us together, we *chose* each other.

ETA: I really liked what Bug has to say. "Soulmate" is usually used as a romantic reference. I have a girlfriend who would likely be considered a friend soulmate; I cannot imagine my life without her.

Later still.... Jim at home... my husband would say the same thing. I know he is more easily contented than I am. I think "soulmates? no-- this stuff is a LOT of work".:) I chose him happily, and I LOVED what OnePerfectOne said about choosing. Just beautiful.

8 moms found this helpful

nah. i believe there are many possible mates for each person, each with different gifts to bring.
but i'm sure glad i've got the one i've got!
:) khairete
S.

7 moms found this helpful

Yes, why not? Those that say no just haven't found theirs yet ;-)
I believe I have found mine and my wife feels the same. She was married 13 years before we met and I was married 16 yrs previously.
Five years ago last Tuesday we met for the first time. I could go on and on about a bunch of sappy stuff, but trust me, she is my soul mate.

7 moms found this helpful

Statistically speaking, it seems to me it would be impossible for there to be "one soul mate" for someone in the world AND for the two people to find each other in the same lifetime out of so many millions of people. I do think think that LOTS of people carry traits that could enable a soul mate-like connection if the relationship is fostered properly and both parties want and respect the union. I almost feel a soul mate type connection with my closest friends. And hopefully my next husband/significant other will be one too.....my last one, not so much....though it seemed like it at first.

I had a soul mate in my first relationship before I was married...we were like one person for 7 years and I've never experienced such effortless comfort and intense connection since. Unfortunately he was damaged, an ex-addict who had recently gone sober when I met him. He couldn't keep sober so we broke up and he later died. But I do remember that soul mate-esque connection. It's pretty magical. Do I think my one and only soul mate is dead now? Nope, there are others out there and I'll find one if I'm lucky....

6 moms found this helpful

No. Not in the sense you mean, that only one other person of the billions on earth is your match and that that person is the only one you're supposed to mate with. If that were true, your perfect mate is most likely not someone who speaks your language or shares your culture, if it's just a cosmic thing like that. And a successful partnership is hard work when you do have the same values, so this idea makes no sense to me.
Now, are there people you can have an unusual connection to, or feel spiritually matched with? Sure, why not?
But the idea that I have a half soul (no thanks) and that the other half is in someone else's body, someone who is statistically more likely to be an Asian, African, or Indian villager, even chances on being my same gender, and no guarantees on age (what if they're 2 years old?), and that I won't be complete without them? And that that is true of everyone? No.
I do believe that people influence, on balance, over half their lives, and choosing wisely in your relationships has a profound effect on life experience. But I'm also aware of how little we actually control in the world at large, and you can do everything right and still fail through circumstance and bad luck.
I have chosen a wonderful husband (well, we chose each other) and I would choose no differently, but even with this it's not always easy. The other ladies who have said that it takes work no matter what are absolutely right. Don't let the idea of the perfect soulmate get in the way of a perfectly good life.

6 moms found this helpful

No, not at all. To me, this is the stuff of young adult fiction.

6 moms found this helpful

When ever I see this question I think of this comedian:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gaid72fqzNE

I believe that the energy that makes us up is the same life energy found in all living things. This energy has many names, soul, spirit, life force, ect. When we die that energy goes back into the earth for use in the creation of new life since energy can be neither created nor destroyed.

I think people build up a connection by time spent with each other. I think there are many people in the world that each of us could connect with and be happy with. The idea that two souls are pre-matched, and then just happen to be in the same place at the same time to meet, even with as huge as this world is and the number of people in it, seems unlikely at best.

6 moms found this helpful

There can be in a person's life, more than one "soul mate."
And NO, you do not only truly belong to one another.
Unless you are married.

And anyway, it is a choice.
Not something you cannot control.
Some people think they have a soul mate. Fine. That person may be good or bad for you.
Still.
It is a choice.

I have met many "soul mates."
There is not only one.
And even if you THINK you met a soul mate, maybe the other person does not think so.
And it does not mean, you ignore other cues in life.

And, even if 2 people are soul mates or they think... they are....
That does not mean, the relationship is trouble free or wonderful or easy.

And then again, some people think each person or potential partner they meet, is a "soul mate." They just get carried away with anyone or don't think straight.
And some people, even if they meet someone wonderful, they don't even know it.
So you see, each individual, may or may not, be even able... to coherently choose a partner or marry one.
"Soul mate" or not.

5 moms found this helpful

To me a soulmate is also not necessarily romantic, but can be. It is more about meeting someone that you have an instant connection with and if you should believe in reincarnation then a soulmate could be someone with whom you have known and connected with in previous lives.

My husband is a soulmate for me. We connected before we spoke to one another and we are best friends. However, I believe you can have a very happy marriage without being soul mates!

5 moms found this helpful

My husband and I have known each other for 13 years, but have only been together for just over 5. We were both married and very much committed to our spouses but there was always a connection that nobody could explain. We were instant friends that could count on eachother. In fact, he was the first person I told when I was pregnant with my first child. We lost contact for a little while but when we reconnected we discovered we were both going through divorces. When we finally got together, it seemed so natural and right. We are the best of friends and I feel like we can get through anything together. When we make love, which is very often, I honestly can't describe the intense connection we experience. It's not just about satisfying a sexual urge, but connecting down to our souls. It sounds so corny, but I never knew what love felt like until him. I believe in my heart we were meant to be together and he tells me all the time the same thing. So, to answer your question, yes I believe in soul mates.

5 moms found this helpful

No. But I believe that some people connect really, really well, like Jessica and her husband, below.

4 moms found this helpful

No. Don't believe in soul mates. I think some people have good connections for a while.

4 moms found this helpful

Why yes, yes I do believe in such a thing as Soul Mate.

However, I don't believe Soul Mating is like Easy Street, either.

Like any other active human relationship, conflict will arise eventually.

And like any other human relatioship, each party will get out of it what each party puts into it.

The only type of perfect human relationships are those with zero expectations.

:)

4 moms found this helpful

I believe that you can feel a super deep connection with someone that feels like another part of you. If you mean soul-mates as in "one true love" then no. A soul-deep connection has nothing to do with romantic feelings.

In fact, if you feel that intense about a person in a romantic way, you should be very cautious. Those kind of feelings often lead to the most stupid of decisions because it can blind you to the bald fact that you're not actually compatible.

4 moms found this helpful

Nope. I think some people are better suited for each other than others are, but it still takes work. And I feel like the idea of a soulmate give people a false sense of security, or makes them overlook people that would be really good for them.

I was probably more willing to believe in them before I had to divorce my first husband for constantly cheating on me :)

4 moms found this helpful

Yes but I also believe you may never find them. I also believe that any 2 people can have a successful relationship but they BOTH must WANT it. It take sacrifice and selflessness. Not everyone wants to put in the effort. AND you HAVE to have the effort from BOTH sides.

3 moms found this helpful

I think that some people have them and experience an effortless connection. Great for them.
Most of us, though, have to work at establishing and maintaining a bond. And there's something beautiful in the commitment to doing that.

3 moms found this helpful

Sort of. I had a friend with whom I had a connection that was...otherworldly. The one (and only) time, we held hands, it was bizarre, like energy was flowing out of one of us into the other. He died many years back. And honestly, as much as we were good friends, I think we would have a lousy couple.

3 moms found this helpful

i do, but not just one. different people at different points in life can be your soul mate.

3 moms found this helpful

I used to think there was such a thing when I was younger. Even thought I'd found one in my husband. While our bond is quite strong, and we work out issues rather than let them mushroom out of control, we aren't perfect. We have our faults.

Now that I am a practicing spiritualists, I am very fully aware that there is no such thing as a soul mate. It is true that we decide who we will hook up with before we come into this life. But there are millions upon millions of souls out there; to think there is only ONE person for you to love and spend the rest of your life with in the entire universe--no, I longer believe that.

But I do believe you can forge a very strong bond with someone.

2 moms found this helpful

Yes, I've always believed that God has one person out there for you. I have found mine, we've been married for over 10 yrs. However, I also believe that even if you find your soul mate, one or both of you can mess up the relationship.

2 moms found this helpful

I do believe in soul mates. I have done extensive reading on it, and a lot of cultures believe in it. But, I have also had a lot of real life examples to see. And, no, your soul mate is not always your most favorite friend, but they will help you get to where you need to go, or, they'll help you do it over and over again until you get it. But, I also believe that soulmates go with reincarnation, so I have a different perspective maybe?

I know that my husband is one of my soulmates, but we both had previous relationships. He has strengths where I don't, and I do where he doesn't. I think this is pretty great. He never talks on the phone for more than a few minutes, even now, but when we met online, and then talked on the phone: we spent over 3 hours talking. But, I am not half a person and neither is he, but we feel complete when we are together.

My aunt was on vacation in San Diego with a group of girlfriends from Portland. She met my uncle in a crosswalk, he was leave from the Navy... He was originally from Pennsylvania. Anyway, they met and got married a week later, have been lovingly married since 1970.

My parents met at a Kegger another of my aunts threw. He had just moved to Portland from Kansas City. My mom was 14 and all they guys were saying what they wanted to do with her, while he just simply stated that he was going to marry her. And he did 10 days after she turned 18. They have been through a lot, even separated for a while, but they have been together for 40 years in a few days.

To me this is what a soul mate is. Someone who loves you and supports you, but will give you the trials and struggles you might need to experience in order to grow for the next incarnation.

2 moms found this helpful

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