Do I Have a Horder on My Hands?

My girls had a similiar phase. Luckily it has eased considerably over time. There was a point that if anyone tossed out an Oriental Trading or Party Express catalog there was going to be a major meltdown.

I agree with Valerie - "out of sight out a mind."

1) Toss it when no one is looking.
2) Divide (toss, donate, keep) and conquer. Involve her in the sorting of stuff periodically.
3) Tell her that you need to clean out in order to make room for the upcoming holidays and gifts.
4) Accept that this is likely another one of those phases.

Good luck!

You are much more sensitive and generous to your daughter than I ever was. My little princess 'personified' every little thing and so she 'developed a relationship' with goody bag junk, little stones shaped like things, etc.

I just went through and chucked stuff periodically. She never even asked about them!

She is 13 now and is not a hoarder. She IS however a very lovely, generous, emapthic person who becomes attached easily.

My 4 year old daughter is EXACTLY like this! I hate to say it, but "out of sight, out of mind" sometimes works for us. I will hide things for several days to a week and if she doesn't ask about it again, I throw it out. She would literally keep every scrap of paper, acorns, rocks, weeds she has picked, etc. It would overrun our house if I let it and I just can't take the clutter. We don't have a ton of space to be storing bins of junk, so I just don't go there. She loves to do art and is actually pretty talented, so I do keep things that she has done all on her own that are good, but she also has many "collections" of rocks and things she finds outside and there is just only so much of that stuff I can have hanging around. Seriously, we have a couple of huge leaves on the shelf in her headboard and there is actually a dead ladybug on one of them because she won't let me throw it out. It's embarrassing! The cleaning lady asked me about it and I had to tell her to keep it! UGH!

Anyway, it must be a 4 year old girl thing or something, but I just try to limit it as much as possible and get rid of stuff when she isn't around. Otherwise, it's just over the top. Good luck! I'll be reading some other responses as well to see if anyone has any ideas about how to train their little minds that they can't keep everything. I haven't figured that part out yet.

My son is 7 and I'm still waiting for his "collecting" phase to be over. Sigh.

Set up some parameters... the bins are great. Make a rule that when the bin is full she either had to throw somethings away or stop collecting. She's too young to understand value, so that isn't something she may accept at face value! When the bin is getting close to full, remind her of the "rule" and sit with her on the floor after dumping everything out.

Use the "clean sweep" method (from the TLC t.v. show)... make three piles Keep, Sell, Trash! Have her sort her items. The things that she wants to donate- donate them. Things that she wants to trash- trash (unless they should be donated in which case swap them later). The things she wants to keep, talk about. If she has a reason why she wants to keep the scrap of paper, then let her keep it. If she can't remember why she kept it or where she got it, encourage her to throw it away so she has room to keep other things.

Turn off the TV! :^) Seriously, shows like that can be obsessive.

Your little girl is old enough for you to tell her that she has THIS much space and no more. Keep enough bins to be practical but don't overdo it at all. Tell her that her things have to live in the bins. She can't have any overflow. If she adds things to her bins, she must take things out as well. It's all right to keep some things and let other things go! (The other things won't mind!)

When it comes to clothes and toys, when the charity truck is in the neighborhood and you're filling up a box, ask her to put some things in it, too. Explain to her that there are other children who can only get toys and clothes this way.

Give her an inexpensive "magnetic page" scrapbook and tell her that she can put her pieces of torn paper with lines drawn upon them in the book, but once it's filled, whatever she wants to add to the book must be at the cost of something else going out. Let her know that smart people always learn to make choices like this.

Of course you need to set her a good example by going through your closets and cupboards and making sure you're not hoarding anything. You might even let her help you. That means that if she thinks that pair of pink shoes is ugly, you let them go, so be prepared!

I am a pack rat (that's what I call it!), come from a long line of pack rats, and have children who were pack rats! I used to have to deal with their clutter, and as teenagers when they would go off to camp for a week they knew Mama would be cleaning out their rooms! I'd put notes from school friends in a shoebox, for example, but gum wrappers were not allowed to remain, even if they were considered treasures.

I have to keep watch over myself, too. There's a charity truck in the neighborhood next week.

One suggestion that might be helpful is to have her take a digital picture of the "junk/stuff/treasure" before throwing it away, that way, she can "preserve" the memory of it. I know people who do this with their kids school work... they have it all on digital file instead of cluttering up the house with "stuff".

I dont think you have a horder just yet shes too little to know yet.

If it were me I would take the bins and empty them into piles and tell her to choose from the piles what she wants to keep the most and whatever she can fit in the bins she can keep, and organize it. Then with the stuff that is left over if worth it, tell her you are going to give to the goodwill so that other children can have it. So it lets her keep what she holds most dear while also giving her a chance to give to other children as well.

I don't allow junk pieces of paper things that are obviously trash to fill my house they see it pick it up put it in the trash same with goodie bag toys or thngs that are broken etc...They see me going throught the drawers of clothes they know what I throw away or donate tehy don't have an issue with it if they do i'll tell them it nolonger fits you or if it is damaged a hole or stain i'll point it out then they say ok...The art supplies it gets cluttered out of control sometimes along with play doh scracth paper they are told to help keep it organized if there is art work that you want to save put it on the fridge for a while then after that I ususally pitch it at antoher time we have things to save to donate & to trash...The school papers I go throgh tehy can use for scrath paper,on the fridge if it is a spelling test or art work then there is stuff that i'll keep in a bin up in the attic to save for them later on in their life if they want to go through it for memories,I also made a scrap book for them from preschool that will be kept...
Both my kids will say they found a treasure from rocks found outside to the little trinkets in a goody bag I just point out that some things are worth keeping or trash...They understand if something is goen that they come home looking for i'll tell them what I done with it there are ok with that...Its just teaching the difference sometimes can be hard....

You ABSOLUTELY need to nip this in the bud, Two crates that she can fill with random garbage is more than i would allow. I know a few hoarders, seriously. You are 100% right when you assume she might have tendencies towards cluttering her life up. She could develop this "collecting" as a thing of comfort, then any uneasiness or anxiety in her life will be followed by garbage or animal collecting. I would definitely go easy on her, wittling it down bit by bit, showing her the true value of things, and if you have clutter of your own i reccomend you get rid of it immediately.

i don't think you need to get a professional in at this point as someone else recommended. she is acting like a normal kid. you have two options, go through it all while she's gone or dump it all out and tell her she can keep 10 items and the rest has to go. i do a combination of the two things with my 3 children. i am the anti-hoarder, a total OCD neat freak lol! i just did a major toy sweep a few weeks ago. my kids all have bdays right near xmas, so i always tell them we have to get rid of/donate in order to make room for any new toys/items they are wanting. i usually do the initial sweep on my own, then let them choose if needed from the "undecided" pile i make. i think you just have to do it/help her do it - then point out to her that she is "just fine" a few days later without the paper or whatever it is that she's upset about. for most kids though, the "we have to get rid of old things to make room for new things" is an easily understood route. good luck!

I think you nailed it yourself - YOU have to teach her. Just like the hoarders have to be taught to throw away.

Take one bin at a time - lay several items out in front of her, ask her to pick her absolute FAVORITE item, we only keep the items we really love, take a picture of her with the rest of the junk and throw it away. Get the pictures developed so she has a memory to keep. She'll be able to sort on her own, probably when she moves out for college.

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totally a phase and also may indicate that her love language is gifts. My younger daughter is like that because she knows that that paper or object came from uncle/aunt/cousin/mom/dad/sister on such and such an occassion or on the day that such and such happened. It's her way of knowing she is loved.
If you read the book The 5 Love Languages for Children you will totally understand!