30 answers

Do 'Black Clouds' Follow People or Do People Just 'Need' Drama in Their Lives?

Do you think certain people just have the misfortune of A LOT of bad luck or do you think they attract 'drama' or 'need' drama in their lives?

My husband and I were discussing this over dinner tonight and we don't have an answer. We have relatives that, as my brother put it, "it's like a Jerry Springer show over there" (meaning their house). This is our sister he was talking about and what is so odd to us is that it's not like she ever had to 'overcome' and hard obstacles in life, she was given the same opportunities/education/love and involvement as the rest of us but her life has turned into a hot mess. Trust me, she TOTALLY over-shares so if something 'big' had happened to start the ball rolling we'd all know about.

Same thing w/ a guy my husband works with.... it's just one thing after another. In both cases nothing like a major medical issue occurred to 'justify' the difficulties ... just crazy "what were they thinking" stuff that gets them buried financially and emotionally, etc.

So what do you think... is drama something that is 'attracted' to someone or do people (consciously or subconsciously) seek it out??

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thanks everyone, very interesting POV's from people!

Featured Answers

Yep, some people are just magnets for it or they seek it out.
And they lack, the comprehension, for stopping it.

4 moms found this helpful

Yes, I do think some people have this problem. I used to think that of my younger sister, and then she just "wised up" all of a sudden, got her life together, and now she is just wonderful.

So happy for her.

D.

4 moms found this helpful

Ive noticed that the friends i have that are drama queens seek it out almost subconsciously. The pattern is comfortable and familiar i guess.

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

I complain ALL the time... because I think it's funny. I just LOVE all the stupid, silly things that happen it life. They tell me I'm breathing, and life is good, and Murphy's Law is alive and kicking and handing out subpoenas. IMHO there's only 2 things in life that can't be laughed at or through.

I've had a lot of quirky things happen to me in my life. Many the physical version of 'open mouth insert foot' aka due to my own stupidity, inexperience, or naivete. Many just pure dumb luck that no one could see coming. I've yet to meet anyone who didn't have a similar life. Perhaps not the same experiences... but definitely the same combo of 'young and dumb' and older, wiser, & life happens. NO ONE can be blamed for their childhood... and some people have monster childhoods that don't prepare them to live a 'normal' life, some people have golden childhoods that don't prepare them for a 'normal' life... but the stuff later on, when we grow up...that's just life. Cest la vie. Rage against it, laugh at it, push up your sleeves, crawl back into bed. I think (humble opinion ONLY) 93.4% of life is just how you look at it. 3% is sweat (it really doesn't take that much work not to dive head first into a bad situation). And the rest is pure luck.

I know people to whom everything is tragedy, others who are angry and bitter at the world. Others who blithely laugh. Others who are the exaggerators. Others who are the understaters. Others who martyr on in stoney judgmental silence. Others who blindly or trustingly just blunder in where saints would fear to tread. Others who wear their heart on their sleeve and will follow those they love into hell. Others who protect themselves behind walls so thick the mongols would turn around. Life happens. But how we deal with it as individuals is just very very different.

5 moms found this helpful

Yes, I do think some people have this problem. I used to think that of my younger sister, and then she just "wised up" all of a sudden, got her life together, and now she is just wonderful.

So happy for her.

D.

4 moms found this helpful

Yep, some people are just magnets for it or they seek it out.
And they lack, the comprehension, for stopping it.

4 moms found this helpful

i think some people tend to make bad choices (with good intentions, many times) and then cluelessly wonder, "what happened? why me?"

i had a coworker, 23 years old with 4 kids. all under 6. one of the hardest workers i've ever had the priveledge to work with. worked her hands to the bone for us. did a GREAT job. but yes, she and husband were always broke. yes they lived in crappy apartments. yes they had terrible luck with vehicles (because they could only "afford" pieces of junk off craigslist - they went through 3 in 4 months). yes, all those kids were constantly sick, and because he took a job working out of state for weeks at a time, she was left to handle it, and lost her job because of attendance. and then she got mad because "you can't fire someone for being sick." well...yeah...you can...when there are 2-3 occurences (late, tardy, or leaving early) every week for four months leading up to that, and she was a temp because they wouldn't hire her because of that same attendance. it wasn't dumb luck. it was a series of bad choices.

i think it starts with upbringing, the bad choices of our parents, and then it continues with our own bad choices. some people don't see the forest for the trees...but i do believe that most of this kind of "drama" is perfectly avoidable. some people just don't see it because they're so caught up in just trying to keep their heads above water. and/or that's how they were raised, so they don't know different.

4 moms found this helpful

A drama queen can turn *anything* into drama, while a laid-back person can make light of some things that would make a drama queen's head spin. I think most of it is perspective and a need for attention. For example, if something "dramatic" happened to someone laid back, they might tell a few people and then let it go. But if that same thing happened to a drama queen, they'd tell anyone who would listen and exaggerate the details.

I think we can all have our drama queen moments, but there are some people that just THRIVE on the attention.

3 moms found this helpful

I know some people who always seem to have terrible luck.
(For example, I have an acquaintance who emails her whole d-list several times a week. She needs money for car repair, one of her kids is failing English, she thinks she is going to be laid off....it gets old and I am tempted to delete her totally.)

Car breaks down, furnace needs replacing, kids running wild and getting in trouble.....but when you look at the real picture, they are people who do not pay attention to maintenance and daily responsibilities! These are people who live "in the moment" and cannot see outside their world.
Maintenance takes time and energy and some people do not have the know how or the energy or desire to take care of things. Having a good marriage and raising responsible kids takes tons of time and energy and some people don't put that in to the day to day stuff, but when something goes wrong, there is big drama!
And that's my opinion based on the drama queens I know.

3 moms found this helpful

If I didn't have bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all... but that's TOTALLY different than people who love drama!!

I can't stand people who over embellish, one way or the other. We know these people, if I say 'man I'm broke, I've only got a dollar', they'll say 'yeah well I'm in debt and the bank is taking my house'.... um, okay. Or if I say 'yay! I just found $20 in the laundry!', they say 'yeah well I just learned that my family is giving me 30 million from a Swiss bank account!'... uh, whatever.

Then there's the 'storm cloud' people. These are the ones that can't help but be negative. No matter what you're talking about, they'll throw in some random negative something: 'my cat's dying'... I'm very sorry to hear that, but we were talking about grocery shopping... ??

Then you've got the hypochondriacs. Something's always wrong. They sneeze and say 'it's not allergies, I think I have cancer'.... REALLY?! Or they're tired (everyone feels tired at some point), and these people want to go to the doctor to get checked for rabies. C'mon people...

The last category are the people who create drama, just because. They make up malevolent lies.... 'so and so has been checking out your husband' type stuff, just to see stuff unravel.

I can't stand any person who's like the types of people I've listed above. I don't associate with them... and no, to answer your question I honestly think they can't help it. They've gotten attention from it for so long, they can't stop, it's exciting for them. I'd rather have 2 really close friends than lot of acquaintances who act like that!!

2 moms found this helpful

I will tell you my experience from my own life. A friend of mine when I was a young adult (early to mid 20s) always said that I was like the Munsters (or was it the Adams Family) with the little black cloud following the car everywhere they went, because it always seemed like things would happen to me that just didn't happen to other people. But, I will be honest in that I think a lot of this issue is about perspective. I used to really have a "glass half empty" mentality and had a lot of pity parties for myself over the things that had happened in my life. Then, I matured a lot and really drew closer to God and realized just how blessed I am (no matter what has happened or will happen in my life) and that I needed an attitude adjustment. I have a much better, more positive perspective on life now and thank God I realized this BEFORE I was diagnosed with cancer because I can't imagine going through what I went through last year with the crappy attitude I used to have. You see, bad things may still happen in my life, but I am so much better equipped to handle them and to appreciate that even when bad things happen, it can ALWAYS be worse.

So, I think that drama can always be created (I used to be the queen of it!). There are genuinely bad things that happen to people, but if you can have a healthy, positive outlook on these kinds of things, then you can get through them and still count your blessings. I just think it's a life lesson that takes some people longer to learn.

2 moms found this helpful

1 / 3
Required Fields

Our records show that we already have a Mamapedia or Mamasource account created for you under the email address you entered.

Please enter your Mamapedia or Mamasource password to continue signing in.

Required Fields

, you’re almost done...

Since this is the first time you are logging in to Mamapedia with Facebook Connect, please provide the following information so you can participate in the Mamapedia community.

As a member, you’ll receive optional email newsletters and community updates sent to you from Mamapedia, and your email address will never be shared with third parties.

By clicking "Continue to Mamapedia", I agree to the Mamapedia Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy.