Divorce Help

I am an attorney. The simple answers to your questions are that you will likely not lose custody. That only happens if you are harming your child or otherwise completely unable to care for her. These days, most courts rule that the parents will share custody. In that case, you won't get the 20% income others are talking about. That is only if you get full custody. Assuming you share custody, the court won't let you take the child out of state and away from the father unless that is in the child's best interest. You are going to have to come up with a really strong argument for that. Bottom line, you won't lose custody, but if you want to be with your daughter, you are going to have to live here. If that does not satisfy you, and you have the money for an attorney, you could try to get full custody and an order to allow you to leave the state. It is a long shot, but maybe a creative attorney could get somewhere with that. If you don't have the money for any attorney, I'd call the SMU law school and see if they have a free legal clinic, or contact the Dallas Bar Association to see if they can refer you to some free legal advice. Best of luck to you and your child.

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I have to say that i disagree with erika t. She says that you guys should try to work it out dont just give up. Well i am pretty sure that at least YOU tried to work it out, after all you stated that he is the one that wants the divorce, you wish none of this was happening. Dont try to stay in an unhealthy relationship just for the sake of not getting a divorce. That could become a bad situation for all 3 of you. Second, if you want to move back home to be with friends and family and have the suppport for you and your baby then do it. Once again your husband is the one who filed for divorce not you so who cares if it isnt fair for him. He has $ let him buy a plane ticket and come and see the baby. Coming from someone with experience, it is extremely hard being in a big city all alone w/ a child. I dont what kinda man your husband is. Maybe he will be a fabulous father and help out a great deal maybe he wont, thats a chance that you'll have to take. If you know for sure that your family will be there, then i say go home. Whatever you decide, i wish you all the luck. Just remember that if you think that you have an unlucky life and you have it hard, there's always someone who has it worse. Once again, good luck!

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Have you talked to him about marriage counseling before taking such a drastic step as divorce? You both are and have been under so much stress from the pregnancy, preparing for the new baby, and now taking care of her that this isn't the time to make such a tremendous decision.
If it isn't going to work. Then you should definetly try to get proof of all of his assets. And move to be with your family so you can have the help and moral support you will be needing.
Wishing you the best.

1 mom found this helpful

I have three step kids, my husband has custody. When he and his ex split she relinquished almost all rights and he moved to Dallas from Austin so he could get some family support. All the choices he made were the right ones and were the best for the kids, that was 5 years ago. Now the kids are older and she wants to be more active. She has visitation. The kids have to travel 3 hours to austin at least once a month spring break extended time in the summers.
Your daughter is a baby right now. Unless he is an abuser or addict they are probably not going to server his ties to her and will give him visitation of some sort and this will increase when she is out of infancy. Even if he is dangerous now he could clean up his act and get visitation later. My point in all of this is to say it is very hard having the kids travel to another city, i cannot even imagine another state. There may come a time when she is older you will have to put her on a plane to visit him. These are things to think about. If he is responsible he has rights too. My friend was just divorced and she cannot move her daughter outside of dallas or adjacent counties, so i know there is a chance you will not be able to move her.

1 mom found this helpful

Prepaid Legal is absolutely excellent - it is a monthly payment plan of about $35 a month - but you have to have the plan in place a couple of months before you decide to file for divorce. Anytime there is any type of legal question such as signing a contract - or a dispute over a repair - divorce, or any problem - you simply call the 800 number and they assign an attorney that specializes in that area of expertise. Call me for more details: ###-###-####. Ross and Matthew are the leading law firm in Dallas and they are the lawyers pre-paid legal hires to work for their clients! You can watch an intro movie at: www.prepaidlegal.com/go/cindyrussell and then click on the article about Pre-paid legal being on Court TV. Pre-paid legal has helped me several times with questions I had, situations I didn't know what to do with. You probably won't be interested in the business side (that part of the company helped me meet living expenses in college) - but just listen to the video and about one minute into it they will describe the legal representation part of the company

They will answer your questions and help you safe guard against your husband moving the money without your knowledge. Pre-paid legal pools all the monthly fees that the thousands of members send in each month and then when a person has a problem the attorney's are paid by Pre-paid legal. Ross & Matthews are on a retainer and they know they can loose the PPL account at any time if they don't do a great job for our clients.
Dr. Cindy L. Russell

K.--I am so sorry you are going through this, especailly so soon after having a baby. Please consult an attorney as soon as possible. You need legal advice and most lawyers will do a free consultation. My husband is an attorney in Arlington (Eric Smith--817/860-2800; www.midcitieslaw.com) and he provides a free consultation. He could at least get you started in the right direction. Good luck!

I don't know what your marriage was like before, but, in my opinion, any man who asks his wife for a divorce AFTER SHE JUST HAD A BABY SIX WEEKS AGO is not really entitled to having you worry about his feelings. Be classy, don't be nasty, take the high road, but do what you need to do to take care of yourself. And if that means being with your family -- well, being separated from the baby is one of the consequences of the choice he is making. Sure, you're going to revisit the situation later when your daughter is older and needs more of a relationship with him -- but any man who would even CONSIDER suing for custody of a 6-week-old (unless the mom was a danger) is not someone whose feelings deserve a lot of your attention.

I EMPHATICALLY agree with all of the posters who advised you to get an attorney ASAP. You are still postpartum, for God's sake, and you need someone who is looking out for your interests. There is no way you could possibly see things clearly or objectively with all of those hormones still swirling around, not to mention the lack of sleep. It wouldn't be a bad idea to see a counselor ASAP, either, to help you sort it all out and see what you're dealing with.

I would especially check with the attorney before you do anything like move money or move out of state. Be sure you are doing things the way you are "supposed" to so it doesn't look bad for you later.

You WILL get through this. And you and your daughter will be fine. Best of luck to you!!

In my opinion, it sounds like you need to contact an attorney ASAP! If you have access to his money, just use that to pay for it. Otherwise, there are a lot of attorneys that offer a free consult. But you have to look hard for them. I wish I knew one to refer you to, but I don't. But you need to protect yourself and the baby from him trying to hide the money and leave ya'll hanging. I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. I THINK you can leave the state if you need to stay with family, but I'm not sure. Again, I wish I had more info for you. I wish you the best of luck and hopefully someone on here will have better info!
Best wishes,
L.

You are in a tough situation. But you can leave and take her with you without him knowing. As a matter of fact he could do the same thing to you and there could be no consequences because you are both th parents. Go back home and let him take all the responsibilities in traveling to you. You can also make him pay for the divorce and your attorney fees. Also here in Texas 99% of the time the court goes for the mother. Doesn't matter about your money situation. Good luck!

I am sorry you're going through this. This should be such a fun time with a new baby. MEN!!!

I would get an attorney's advice ASAP. I filed for divorce a year or so ago (we have since reconciled) and my attorney advised me to move 1/2 the joint money into a personal account. She said it was a reasonable thing to do to protect me and the children in the event things got ugly. Seemed like a good idea to me.

FWIW.

If you stay here and get divorced, they will make you stay within the counties around Dallas. But if you leave now to go home, they have to put the orders together according to your current living situation. I would leave. Also, you can go ahead and talk to an attorney and file a temp. order, but have yourself moved to your parents in the process. In the temp order, they should be able to seize the savings account until property is divided and start an order of child support. Best of luck to you.

K. - I am so sorry this is happening to you. My ex left 3yrs ago so I can relate. You need to find a lawyer NOW! The lawyer will submit the appropriate paperwork to the court to help prevent your husband from hiding funds and to establish temporary spousal support. Every minute you wait gives your husband further opportunity to hide assets. The state of Texas is a community property state. In the event of divorce, the court will dissolve property and assets deemed as joint (barring any pre-nup) and award each party a portion (usually half, depending on circumstances). In order to be eligible for spousal support you must have been married for 10 years. (you should still receive temporary support until the divorce is final if your lawyer pushes for it) The court will also decide on child support, primary custody (usually the mother), visitation rights and establish any restrictions (travel area allowed, whether you can move out of state etc.) Again with a good lawyer you should be able to present evidence of the benefits of moving back to your parents home vs. staying here in Texas for your husband's visitation convenience.
When my ex left, I had to pull myself together to do what was necessary to take care of our 8 year old son. I was unable to work at the time due to my various medical conditions and had no income. Before I could contact a lawyer, the ex drained our joint account and left me with no funds. I called my Dad and he helped me find a lawyer immediately. She filed paperwork right away that forced the ex to pay the bills and hand over a weekly sum to support my son & I. That took some of the intial "how am I going to take care of my son" worry away so I could focus on finding a way to gain an income to support him after the divorce was final.
I'll be honest, it was an awful experience that I wouldn't wish on my worse enemy. However, it does show you the true depth of your strength. You CAN get through this. Make sure you are taking care of your self - try to get some sleep and eat something to keep you going. If you don't take care of yourself it makes it more difficult to care for your little one. It may seem bleak now but it does get better.
If you ever need to talk - give me a shout.

H.

Girl, you call your parents and ask for a plane ticket and go! You don't have to tell him, just leave. You are entitled to 20% of his documented income for child support and you do not have to stay here. If something is wrong, leave before it gets worse.

Ok first of all get call an attorney most of them will do the 1st counsult for free and will allow you to make payments. Also, you can ask for him to pay your legal fees. In Texas it is a 50/50 split on debt and assests that were incurred during the marriage. Also, please know that it is very hard to prove a woman unfit as a parent. It doesn't mater that he make more money than you. You need to make copies of anything you can get your hands on bank accounts, 401K accounts etc. You need to file for a legal seperation becuase he would start receiving child support at that point. I believe that 18%to 20% of his gross earning including bonuses. I am not sure about the moving out of state thing you need to check with the attorney. I hope everything works out for you. I know right now your world seems to be falling apart. Hang in there! If you ever want to talk just send me a message.