Divorce and Children - Sussex,WI

Updated on April 13, 2010
P.B. asks from Sussex, WI
6 answers

How is custody decided with the children?

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B.H.

answers from Seattle on

Usually its best to try and make a plan betweeen your husband and you. Something that works best for kids and paretns!

1 mom found this helpful
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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

As a child of divorce (I'm not an attorney), do your best to work it out between the two of you and be as amicable as possible. You need to keep the problems that you have with your ex in their own "box", so to speak, and keep the kids out of them. Obviously you have to be as honest with them as you can, and give them enough info to function as these changes are taking place.

As long as neither one of you is considered unfit, find a way to live close enough to be convenient for the kids. If you can both make it so that the kids don't have to leave their school, that would be great. If you do have to move, do it during the summer - mid year sucks - my parents did that to me once, and my mom re-married and divorced and did it to me AGAIN.

If you have a hard time working things out with him one on one, then find a mediator - it's their job to help come to a mutually beneficial decision, and they are not attorneys, so they don't work for a "side". They work for the best solution.

Good luck!

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A.A.

answers from Denver on

Preference is for parents to work it out amicably. After that, if parents can't decide, a judge rules based on the circumstances.

If one parent lives far away, then they tend to do longer visits over holidays and summers. If parents are near each other, they tend to try to arrange some amount of swapping more often, assuming of course that both parents are judged competent.

Age of children affects it too. A nursing baby will tend to get short visits to the mother's house. An older child will often have some amount of overnights arranged. That sort of thing. By far the best option is for you and the ex to manage to agree, because if you can manage that, it leaves you with more flexibility over the long haul. But not everyone can manage that.

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M.C.

answers from Detroit on

Usually if the parents agree to how they want to share custody, their attorneys will present the custody arrangement in the divorce decree to the judge. If the parents cannot decide on custody, then the Friend of the Court may intervene or the judge can determine the final custody depending on how your family court system works in your county. It can get complicated if the parents decide to battle. The Court bases the custody arrangement on key factors which focus on the best interests of the children. The best thing for parents to do is to remain amicable throughout the divorce and focusing on what is best for the kids.

M.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

The hope is that you can agree on custody and visitation. If not you can try mediation, and if that does not work the next step is court.

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C.P.

answers from Provo on

I let the lawyer write up the usual scenario for custody and after the papers were signed then we usually went from there. Divorce is hard for everyone and if there are things that can be worked out between the mom and dad it is best. Usually the mother gets custody of the kids with visitation for them with the father one day a week and every other weekend. I have friends who have the papers written up with this custody agreement and then when the child turns twelve they can decide who they want to live with. Try to work out what is comfortable for you two because when mom and dad are happy then the kids are happier.

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