17 answers

Divorce Advice No Money for Attorney

I have been married 34 years and my husband let me for another woman. I want to file divorce papers charging him with adultery. Is it worth the money I have to pay to file the papers. There is very little assets, main thing is spousal support amount and duration.

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So What Happened?™

Thanks to everyone that has responded with suggestions and kind words! I really appreciate it so much! I filed the divorce papers on Monday morning and had him served. So ready or not, here we go. I did the papers on my own, although I had consulted with a couple of attorneys for advice. Hopefully this will soon be said and done and I can move on with my life. Thanks again!

Featured Answers

Hi, I know that Lone Star Legal Aid provides free services for various issues. Look at their website and call them. I have provided this information to people where I work and they said it works. Good luck!

I haven't look specifically in Houston but in most cities there is some sort of free legal aid, or legal advice that you can obtain, look it up and get some good advice, especially if you want allimony. Or you may find a lawyer who can give you some advice for a nominal fee, or for free that will help you decide whether you need to get a lawyer or not.

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Dear G., Been there done that and I did everything wrong. Do not rush into anything. Even though your husband has said in so many words he chooses another and left you behind - wait. Don't be so fast to "show" him you don't need him for anything. He'll be very happy to take you up on total independence and leave you with nothing but an empty sack for all those years. You have alot of years invested in your marriage; you may still love him but not like him. He may be thinking with his ego which someone else is readily feeding. You can and will be happy again, ask God for peace and stay with Jesus as your husband - friend - companion and support; one day the right path will show itself. Remember forgiving must and can find a place in your heart.

If divorce is absolutely necessary protect yourself, because your husband obviously will not. If he has been the main income maker over all these years while your role was mainly taking care of home and raising the children, do not give away any retirement possibilities. You will never, at this age, be able to acumilate any reasonable amount for your tired and aged being.

Best advise I can offer you is go slow and go with God first in your heart.

1 mom found this helpful

I haven't look specifically in Houston but in most cities there is some sort of free legal aid, or legal advice that you can obtain, look it up and get some good advice, especially if you want allimony. Or you may find a lawyer who can give you some advice for a nominal fee, or for free that will help you decide whether you need to get a lawyer or not.

I would still file for divorce and charge him with adultery even if there's very little assets. Do it for your dignity. Good luck and keep your head up high, he's the one that messed up not you.

G.~

Here is a link to a state funded program here in TX that is not widely advertised but worth checking into...

http://www.texasbar.com/Template.cfm?Section=Texas_Lawyer...

If the link doesn't work just google "Texas Lawyers Who Care"

Also, these are tough times and because I am a psychotherapist that is my first recommendation. Capital Area Mental Health Center is an excellent place for low-cost therapy. The link is www.camhc.org

Keep your chin up!! If I can help further send me a line!

S.

Hi G.,

I am 62, so I am guessing you are about that age. Earlier this year I ask Mama Source patrons for an attorney that would help with the situation I was in. My situation took care of itself, but here are the attorney's that I was refered to:

Jeanette Schaefer
###-###-####
She makes house calls or office calls
She is an Elder Law Attorney

Clyde Farrell
###-###-####
he does not make house calls.

They are both Elder Law Attorney's, so I am sure they will know how to help you and how to help you find the funds to do what is necessary. Usually the first visit is free, so they can see what type of case you have.

If you need a friend all my contact information is on this website at the bottom of the home page. My cell for down here is ###-###-####

Love and Blessings
J. M

You can go on line and find out how to do the divorce without the expense of a lawyer. As for spousal support, I think in the state of Texas that is limited and for a short duration. If child support is involved, a judge determines that.
As far as "is it worth filing the papers", do you mean should you divorce him? He left you. Do you want to stay married to him? Only you can answer that question. If he left, it looks like he has already made his decision.

My cousin was married for 30 years, they have 3 children (adults) and was awarden divorce based on Adultery. No settlement was made at court but he pays for EVERY THING plus gives her weekly spending money.
I would recommend that you go to www.divorcesource.com/TXARTICLES/henderson2.html and afterward check with an attorney.
Keep God in your heart and every thing will be easier.

G.,

You really need a good attorney!!! Check with legal aide and see if you qualify. I'm more worried about the support you need and deserve then charging him with adultry, as many states have a no fault divorce law (dosen't have to be a reason). Best of luck to you.

A.

There is an attny. that advertises on the radio for agreed divorces that can be done fairly cheap, Sorry I don't remember the name but possibly you can google it and try to find a way to do it yourself, I have a friend who is an attny and business is bad, people are waiting for tax returns to be able to file for divorce and bankruptcy, and some who are divorcing are unable to sell their homes and are stuck living together because they can't afford to live alone.It may not be easy but feel confident knowing that millions of women do it everyday and you WILL get through this! Good luck and I hope you get some helpful answers!

Yes ma'am, I do believe it's worth it. I would advise you to contact US Family Advocates and talk to them. They will assist you in filing the appropriate paperwork and give you legal advice without a huge fee. They won't represent you in court, but they will handle the paperwork etc. for you. You can find them on the internet. Good luck and God Bless!

Hi G.,
Sorry to hear about your situation. I know it must be tough.
There is a way you can file without an attorney- you can get the papers off the internet- but you need to be very careful about how you word your spousal support. There is also an agency- that will give you free legal advice and sometimes if the situation warrants- will provide attorneys pro bono-
It can be a simply thing if htere are no children and no assets to seperate- but now, in Texas, if he has any money at all or a decent paying job he could be made to provide some alimony for a specific time for your support. I am not sure about the time frame for this but the free legal advisor could put you in the right directions.
check the internet for names and addresses of the attorneys that provide this free service.
good luck and blessings

Hi G.,
It looks like you have gotten some pretty good advice. Yes you are intitled to recieve alimony, part of his social security and part of any 401K, retirement funds he has set up. Also if there are two vehicles and one is paid off you can negotiate to take the paid off vehicle. Just because he thinks the grass is greener on the other side of the fence and was too weak to stay committed to his marriage doesn't mean you should have to suffer. Take care of yourself. I highly recommend counseling whether through a church or some other method. I wouldn't wish what you are going through on anyone. I have been there and its very hard. My ex who did this to me is now happily remarried. I am still divorced and single with the kids. It's not easy, but life goes on. There are many inexpensive leisure classes through the local colleges that I would recommed. It's important to keep yourself busy, make friends and do some things you have always wanted to do.

I have a friend that got a divorced one yr ago. She wanted to file for adultry and her lawyer did not recommended it. It is too expensive and the process was going to take too long. Her attorney also mentioned that in most cases the victim looses because of lack of evidence.

Good luck,
E.

Of course it is! Just remember, you filing the papers means you have the upper hand, so-to-speak. Look around for attorneys, I'm sure you can find one that will work w/your situation. I'm not sure how pre-paid legal works but that's always something to look into too. Just be sure to get recommendations for anyone you use, to make sure they have your best interests in mind & to make sure you'll get what you should out of the divorce. Your husband may not expect you to do it but you should definitly go ahead. If it were me, I would do it first thing. Good luck!!

Hi, I know that Lone Star Legal Aid provides free services for various issues. Look at their website and call them. I have provided this information to people where I work and they said it works. Good luck!

G., I know this all feels crazy right now but first slow down and breath. Ask around for references as you have done and get out the yellow pages and start calling. Most attorney's will give you a free consultation but they only give you about an hour so be prepared. Make a list of all of your questions and have a pad & paper ready to take notes.

My ex had 10 plus affairs that I could prove but my attorney still told me it was difficult to prove and it would be very expensive. IF you can prove it you could be entitled to more in the settlement so you need to determine if it's worth it. In my case it wasn't.

I'm truly sorry you find yourself in this situation. Probably not something you ever thought would happen so stay strong. Build yourself a support group cuz some days are harder than others. I use a website called www.marriagebuilders.com. It is meant to help to re-build marriages but it also offers support to get you thru things like this. I wish you nothing but the best and I truly hope this helped you.

G.,

I'm sorry that I don't have a divorce attorney to supply you with, but I wanted to give you my deepest sympathy at this very trying time. I have been left at 45 years old and feel the same way...vulnerable and confused. But with God's help, my family and friends and good counseling, I am able to maintain my sanity. I am in a class at my church called "divorce care" and it is more helpful with my emotions than I could have guessed. It validates all that you are going through and all that you feel. I hope that you don't go through this alone. Best of luck to you.
I will keep you in my prayers,
D.

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