Discriminating Mother in Law

She sounds HORRIBLE! First of all, I would stop trying to let her have a relationship with your children. I would just tell her that when she wants to see them, she can call you. She is receiving too much control when you ask her over and over. I would also tell her this in front of other people so that she can't say that you are keeping your grandchildren away from her. If she doesn't call, then it is her loss, she will miss out on the joys of being an involved grandparent. I would also be worried about what she might say to your children, if she is that nasty to your husband about his conversion to Judaism, what is she going to say around the kids? I would make it very clear to her that if (actually, it might work better if it came from your husband) that any negative speech about Judaism will not be tolerated and if she can't comply, she can't be around the kids.

Yay for sleeping through the night!!!

Sorry for the heartache w/your family :(

H.,

There's not much you can do about her decision to postpone seeing your children, but dont let it affect the person you are. Continue to ask her. That part is your decision and the only part you can control. You never know.. people change. As they age, they have a tendency to see the foolishness of time wasted. If not, be at peace knowing that you always offered the opportunity.

As for your mother in law's complaining to her mother... call your husbands grandmother and offer to bring the children over.. in the same breath mention that maybe she could see if a day would be good for all of you since you have asked ___ several times and cant seem to find a good date for her. :o) Even if she declines also, maybe it will plant a tiny seed of doubt or question as to the other side of the story.

Good Luck and keep asking,
L.

What your MIL is doing is horrible. I say next time skip her and invite your FIL and/or her mother directly to save MIL the trouble of having to ask. If this continues she will lose out in the end, Your children will form a loving bond with your parents because they want to be a part of their lives.

Good luck with this :)

Why do you need such hate in your family?? Be courteous and polite if you have contact with her. Other than that, I wouldn't be making any arrangements in the future to see her. You have your family now and she is the one who loses. You really don't want her as a role model to your children. As for your hsb, this is probably very trying on him. Make sure you keep your nose clean and don't berate his mom in front of him. You won't win on that one and it will only put a strain on your marriage. Enjoy and love your family and give them the morals that no matter what race or religion they are, we are all a gift and precious life..Shame on your MIL!!!

You are receiving much good advice and support. :)
I know how difficult it is dealing with a crazy control freak.
My guess is that she is trying to manipulate you and your husband to change your beliefs to be more like hers. Unfortunaly, she wont stop playing games until you do.
Best thing for you is to not allow her to pull you into to her craziness. To do this, make it perfectly clear that your family will remain jewish. You and your husband are raising your children to be jewish. And how much you would love the MIL to be an active part in her grandchildrens lives. When ever she would like to spend time with them she is more then welcome into your home. If I where you, I would not allow her to be alone with your kids. She may say bad things to them about the religion that you have chose.
YOu cant control her, or make her spend time with your children. If she chooses not to, it is her loss.
Why would you want someone with hate in their heart around your precious babies anyways.
I wish you the best!!

Hi H.,

I can relate, I am not close with my mother in law. You sound like a great mother and you are lucky your parents are a part of your children's lives. They will remember this when they get older. Your mother in law doesn't realize all the milestones she is misssing out on. At least they can bond with your parents for now. You and your husband shoud sit down and talk to her and tell her she is supposed to be the one to hold the family together. It is your lives and you would like her to be a part of your lives, but you are grown adults and she should support your decisions. Parents sometimes forget they should love their children unconditionally.

good luck,
D.