Discipline Issue with 2 Yr Old

2-3 year old girls are smarter than you think. They want to be talked to and reasoned with. Three is THE most challenging age for girls. They are smart and they are no longer babies.

Read, "Raising Your Spirited Child" - the best book on the market for parenting smart children. 15% of children are "spirited" (smarter than us). When you are faced with a smart girl, no amount discipline will work. You have to have more tools in your toolbox than a swat on the butt.

You're over your head until you read the book. Go directly to the library today!

1 mom found this helpful

K.,

This tip I got from a teacher and it works, at least for me. When children act up they do it to get your attention. So the teacher actually made the child stay by them (instead of sending them to the corner). So when my kids are in trouble, I normally sit with them on the couch/bed quietly. And when they get themselves under control praise them and mention the action they are doing correctly like "I like talking to you when you being nice". The key is to pay attention when they are not acting up. This also works great in public places where there is no place for "time out".

They are testing your limits, it will eventually pass-our kids take 1 to 3 weeks and they are sweet again. They will test the limits again sometimes, but they don't like people being mad at them. Oh, and a nap works wonders sometimes too especially after being sick :)

Best of luck and hope everyone is well and happy soon.
Amy

1 mom found this helpful

Hi K.! It takes a few weeks to get back to being yourself after influenza. I think you are right about her not feeling well. Every time she behaves badly you could try having her lay on the sofa and look at a book or some other "resting" activity. Even just holding her on your lap for a little snuggle could work. It's very frustrating for kids to feel crabby all the time so a little extra mom time brings everything back in order for them.
I hope she feels better soon for her sake and yours:)

I think being consistent with your discipline is the best thing for combating the sassy 3's...my daughter started getting sassy around 4y/o and I take away privileges with her or use time outs. It seems to work the best for me, but I am very consistent with her and it has gotten a lot better.

This is a tough age to begin with. Maybe take her back to the doctor to check that she has recovered. Is she still napping? Our son was a bear at this age if he didn't get enough rest. When he was just plain naughty, we used "toy time outs" because time outs with him just didn't work. He treasured his "cars" and when they got a time out, he knew we meant business. I also did the counting thing, and if I got to five, there was a consequence - again, toy time outs, loss of a privilege, etc.... my son is now four and is much better! Our daughter is nearing two and we're gearing up for this phase again. Good luck!

You have my sympathy, K.. This behavior can be so frustrating and can leave a mom so confused. (What happened to my sweet little kid?!) I have a daughter, 7, and a son, going on 5. What you described sounds something like what my son will do/has done. What I find helps bring back the sweetness is sleep.

Has your daughter had disruptions to her sleep? Having the flu, the change to daylight savings, and perhaps something else has thrown this off. You could try moving her bedtime earlier in small increments (10 minutes a night for 3 nights) until she's getting an extra half hour and see if that helps. It made a world of difference in my son's behavior. And, hey, maybe you'll get a little more "mom" time out of it.

Best of luck!

C.

3's are hard with girls. They are really testing limits. Stick to telling her what's acceptable. She knows it, just wants to make sure that you are serious. You don't have to give a warning. If it's a rule - don't touch your brother and she does, then remove her - put her in her room. Tell her she can come down when she is sweet then give her a big smile and wait for her to do it again. When she does (two seconds later) repeat and repeat and repeat. In a couple of days it will pass. Don't worry about the fit - totally normal. She's just seeing if it will get her out of trouble. Don't let it. Just smile and say I bet you can be even louder in your room. Good luck - and let her have it out on her own.

Both of my boys vacated thier sweetness for a while. My oldest, who is nearly 5 now, returned to his nice, sensitive self right around his 4th birthday. My second son, who is almost 4, is slowly becoming sweeter and less aggressive as the weeks roll by. I'm pulling for a repeat performance and a nice little boy again for the next few years (at least!).

I also have a daughter who is 18 months and although she is loveable and adorable and fantastically cute and sweet, she has her moments and they are about to become far more frequent, I'm sure.

My general advice is that they just have to test. Be firm and loving and consistency is the key. It lessens the time and lessens the stress on all of you. I had to learn with my boys that I usually needed a time out before I handled their rudeness and craziness. It always helped me to focus on their behavior rather than my frustration.

Good luck and my prayers are with you. Buckle up and enjoy the ride!

I think she still doesn't feel well. My 8 older has been sick again after having the flu. It was in the same time frame you are talking about.

"Lightly swat." I agree, that doesn't work.

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Influenza A this year has been a royal pain in the butt. It completely changed the temperments with my oldest two daughters. They are 7 and 8. I think it sounds to me like she may still not be completely over it. It's hard at that age because you never really know what is wrong. Since they are just starting with their communicating skills it's hard for them to tell you exactly what is wrong. I would say if it doesn't get better maybe try a follow-up visit to your doctor and go from there!

My daughter is just over 3 years, and also likes to talk back a lot. We tell her that is being sassy and it's not polite! Our discipline is sitting her in the time-out chair, which she often ends up using. She's learning what this all means. I think the trick is to let them know what's coming....then follow through if they don't listen. They may cry a bit, but are in a much better mood when time-out is over!

Have you tried time outs? What I do with my two year old is tell her I am going to leave the room if she does not change her behavior. I count to three, then I leave. She kicks and screams but eventually she will get over it and her additude has changed. It takes a few tries but it does work. If they learn that you will not respond to the bad behavior with a loud yell or a shout or open threats, they will stop. Hope this helps. You may have to give it a few weeks, girls are quite stubborn.
The do react how we react, they are constantly watching us.
I hope you can get something out of it. Good luck.
T.

Your 2 year-old is experiencing a phase where she is trying to be powerful in whatever way she can find. Please understand that no amount of swatting her rear will ever bring your sweet girl back to you and only a calm mother with loads of patience will ease her into whichever of the next mind-boggling phases that make up the phenomenon that is early childhood. It is truly frustrating, I know. You just have to change your mind about "punishing" and use "discipline" instead. Discipline means you are consistent without criticism, gentle but firm, and give her a time out for a couple minutes (or a "time in"--where you take her aside and do a few minutes of cool-down time with a book or looking out of the window at something--for redirection). It will pass, you just have a strong-willed child here on your hands. Forgive yourself for swatting her and please don't swat her again--it teaches her exactly the opposite of what you want her to learn from it.

There was a posting just like this last week with lots of responses--you can probably look it up on the main website to get some good ideas. If you are trying to teach her to not hit you and her little brother then "swatting her rear" is probably confusing to her. She's probably still tired and out of sorts from being sick. Good luck.

welcome to the terrible trying two's what she is doing is normal my twins did the same thing. What I did is made them have time outs when they talked back or yelled or hit they knew the corner pretty well. It does get easier my girls are almost 5 and behave rather well. My suggestion is to talk to her look her dead in the eyes and mean business when she acts up swatting her on the but my girls would act out like that but talking to them they understood better. Good luck you will have your sweet heart back soon.

#1- Make sure you and your husband are on the same page
#2- When you discipline, that is swat the butt, makes sure it hurts, you may not have to do it again
#3- Check out John Rosemond's books-he is from the old school on raising kids and very helpful to me.