Discipline Ideas - New Braunfels,TX

When my son was that age, one thing that worked great was a poker chip game (he had a thing for poker chips...you can use marbles, coins, anything that your son likes). I created a chart that started with three or four discipline issues I wanted to address (brushing teeth when told, going to bed without whining, and a couple of others).

The basic rule went something like this...if he did what I asked him to do the first time, he earned one chip...I would give him one warning about the chip when he didn't respond immediately and if I had to repeat my instructions, he didn't get the chip...then, if he continued to resist or complain or whine or anything else, he owed me one chip if he eventually did what I asked (and two if I gave up fighting and had to use force...he got one warning about that too).

Then I set up a chart with the rules and a list of things he could "buy" with the chips (based on my estimate that he could earn 30 chips per week if he gave me "first-time-obedience" on every rule on the list). For example, he could trade 5 chips for an extra 30 minutes of video games, 10 chips to be allowed to stay up an extra hour on the weekend, 15 chips for an ice cream treat, 30 chips for a trip to the beach or Gattitown (I don't remember all the items but we had about ten...I asked him for ideas).

The first week was a bit rough...he earned some chips, but ended up having to give many of them back to me (including a couple of two-fers when he chose to fight). But once he realized I was serious about the first time obedience thing...that I wasn't going to give him second (and third and fourth) chances...that I wasn't going to count to three or anything else...he started enjoying the game. By the end of the second week, he was earning most of the available chips and losing very few for disobedience.

After a couple of months (once I was sure he had developed a positive habit), I replaced the original obedience issues with new ones and it worked on them too. We had to stop doing it about a year after we started because he learned how to manipulate it to his advantage...but it sure worked on him at three! (Note: his uncanny ability to get around the rules now at seven may have been enhanced by this game...but I think he got his ability to use rules to his advantage from me so...??? *smile*).

2 moms found this helpful

Hi S.,

I myself have been going crazy with my 2 1/2 year boy! I discovered a book that IS WORKING! I have not finished yet but started doing the first part and have done miracles for me.

1-2-3 Magic....Effective Discipline for Children 2-12
From Thomas W. Phelan, Ph.D.

The best of all is that it is very simple and makes sense. It is really working for me.

Good luck!
M.

1 mom found this helpful

123 magic worked wonders for us! I bought the video on Ebay at a really good price. I recommend the video over the book.

1 mom found this helpful

We are loving One, Two, Three Magic -- that' the book title. I am glad to be able to recommend it to you as your child will be starting to enter the window where this approach works, because we didn't start until our daughter was six, and we could have had a lot more peace if we'd started her younger. It's VERY simple and very effective.

All the best!
M.

1 mom found this helpful

Check out "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" by Harvy Karp. This book has great suggestions for toddlers of all ages.

1 mom found this helpful

When my daughter was three in a half she was a terror! I got a book called 8 Weeks to a Well Behaved Child and it completely changed my approach to parenting. One thing that it stresses is that kids want attention so we should reward them with that when they behave. Try to praise good behavior. Pick a behavior that needs improving. Try to find a positive way to say it. (for example, instead of saying,"don't clime on the table" you would say,"keep your feet on the ground")tell them what to do, not what not to do. Then try to find 3 ways to praise them about it every day. If the first day you tell him to keep his feet on the ground and he gets down you say,"Oh thank you for doing that so quickly" Then as he is playing, you say,"oh, it makes mommy so happy to see you playing safely on the floor." and so on...The trick is to try and find a couple of behaviors to focus on and let some things slide. Choose you battles, and try not to nag. Hope this helps!

Consistency. It's easy to say (type) but a bear to follow through on. But for the important issues it is the only way. My kids learned early a few commands that were said loudly and firmly. STOP, NO, DANGER. I find myself using those terms with the dog-not that he listens- and even occasionally still with the kids who have managed to grow to the ripe old ages of 10,13, and 16. I think the firmness and loudness of these commands got their attention. Sometimes I would say all three- in that order- but no explanations beyond that. No " O sweetie, that's dangerous." STOP! NO! DANGER! I used those from before they could walk so you will probably need to train your son to respond to them. Think of a consequence that works for your son- time out,whatever- and tell him these are important BIG words that mommy will only use when she REALLY needs him to pay attention RIGHT THEN. Tell him if he ignores you then he will get whatever consequence. Then only use those words in that manner when you REALLY need them- the important issues. (Strangling the cat or sibling, running towards large bodies of water, putting the knife in the electrical outlet.) And if he doesn't respond RIGHT away- use your consequences. And be consistent. This worked at our house- I'm sure others have other great solutions- but consistency and follow through when it is a BIG thing is probably the real key. Good luck with whatever advice you take- this site always has tons of good ideas!!!