Discipline for a Toddler Who Is Biting?

Hi mom my niece was a bitter and my son was her victim it was times we would visit and she would leave a bad mark on him that I could not take him back home his father would have been so upset. My sister her mother would tell my son to bit her back but he wouldn't so one day I was so upset I bit her for him and this is when she stop my sister was upset with me but it work. I think the bitter do not know the pain they are putting on the other person and needs to know and feel that pain. Well good luck

you r doing the right thing. I wouldd BITING HURTS. Also he need to be given a toy tht he can bit into. Many times kids bit when they need more stimulation in their moth and especially when playing it is like a sensory thing so he can have a ice chewy toy ready on had or make sure before you restle he has eaten or brush teeth for fun or stimulate his mouth on the sides witha wash cloth. Ask a feeding speech therapist they ahve all kinds ot toys and tricks and whistles etc...

Since he is only 16 mos I would add some body language to NO BITE. Hold his face and touch his mouth and then say NO BITE, exaggerate your emotions by having a very stern look on your face and speak in a lowered voice. This is serious business and he needs to stop this ASAP. You and your day care worker could also do some active listening. By this I mean, let him know that you understand why he is doing these things, "Jimmy, do you want to go down the slide before ESther? Well, you cannot, you have to take turns." Biting is said to be from frustration at not having the words to express what the child, (the center of the universe)wants to have which at this age he strongly feels he should have. So it is time to teach sharing.

I have 5 children and my kids didn't bite too often. However when they did I bit them back. Not real hard, but hard enough for them to realize that it hurts. Once they realized it wasn't something enjoyable they stopped biting others. I know it sounds barbaric, but it got quick results.

Hi J.,
Both of my boys were biters too. I mostly think it's the age, and it's very common. When children under two bites, it's because they cannot communicate they way that they want...so they bite instead. All you have to do as soon as he does that is "No, no Matthew, biting hurts people; we don't bite people. Please use your words instead." It took awhile, but everytime I took them to day care, I always say no biting today, be a good boy and use your words.

Sounds corney, but eventually they get it.

My son has not been a biter but started preschool yesterday and I got the big incident report that he bit another boy. I was mortified and so upset. The teacher mentioned something about frustration and not being able to verbalize their feelings.

I got the e-mail for the new Mamapedia (http://www.mamasource.com/go/to/mamapedia) and went there last night and under Behavior there is a bitting section and I read a little and many mentioned things about the children being frustrated that they could not verbalize and then bite. That makes alot of sense to me, they get in situations with other little ones and they can't communicate fully yet and they get frustrated. They don't know how to say, hey can I have a turn or I want to play with that and it comes out in the only way that they know how.

I am going to try and be aware and help my little guy use his words and validate his feelings to try and help him through this. It is only going to get better as they learn how to communicate.

Maybe mention this to the teacher so she can try and watch your guy and help him at school to learn how to communicate better and use his words instead of biting.

Biting them back....no way! Then you taught him that biting IS what you do when your frustrated. There is a reason for all behavior.

Good luck!

I used to teach in child care centers, I have 3 of my own children and I have a home child care now.

I saw lots and lots of biting in the centers. I think the children were just very stressed out.
In that setting we tried to keep the children busy in centers and always watching and listening for conflicts. Sensory activities help out with this, too. Playdough, stress balls, bean bags (nothing that can be bitten open and toxic.) I made bean bags with "oil cloth" which is like vinyl, and rice, so I could disinfect them. The two year olds would bite them and their bodies would shake with the force. I didn't tell them to bite them, my plan was to play a toss game, but obviously it is a natural behavior.

In my child care home I have only had a biting incident 2 or 3 times in 10 years and never my own children. One time it was one girl who bit the same boy over and over. Her mom and I agreed that she would be by herself when it was free play time. She sat at the counter with coloring, puzzles, etc. When we had group games and circle time, and I was teaching, she joined us. This wasn't really a punishment or a time out, but it was our way of keeping the other child safe. It worked.

It would be very uncomfortable telling the child care provider what to do, but you could have your child bring a stuffed animal to squeeze. Also, if you have some ideas for the provider, you can pose them in questions. "Can my child sit by himself during play time?" " Can my child be kept away from the slide?" "What can I do at home?"

Good luck. I imagine you must be nervous. It will get better, just stay calm.

I just wanted to add that this is normal behavior for a toddler and for some kids, may continue no matter what their parents do or don't do to stop it, til the child is 3 years old and then it magically stops! My grandson was a biter, and my daughter-in-law and son tried every trick in the book (including biting back, although they didn't want to) and nothing ever really stopped it til Izaiah turned 3. Then it was gone! It is a developmental thing, and must just be grown out of for these kids. Good luck!

I gave my kids a shot of Vinegar, either white vinegar or apple cidar vinegar. I rinsed one of those hand spray pumps out and filled it up with the vinegar. It's such a fine mist, but it sprays outward, so the kids get a pretty good taste, without much vinegar at all. Vinegar is not a poisen, like soap, so it will do no harm. I've used it when both kids bit someone and once because my son swore. I used it on my newphew once, and he laughed it off. I then had to give him another spray and he still said it tasted good. But when I told him if he gets sprayed again, his tongue "may" turn black and fall off - he stopped swearing.

So, you may want to give it a try.

i bit my kids back just enough so it hurt ,of course never to break skin or bleed.....out of 4 kids i had 100% success......i am sure not everyone will agree with my response but my kids realized that this hurts & they didnt like how it felt so they didnt do it to anymore ever again.....good luck

Sometimes biting can be related to being overstimulated by all the activity and since they cannot use their words they bite. Also sometimes it is a sensitivity to a lot of sound. I would also make sure he is getting enough sleep. A lot behavioral issues my little guy had were traced to not getting enough sleep at nap time. He needed 3.5 hours of sleep instead of the 2 hour nap the provider was giving.