My nearly 11 yo gets good grades. 3 Christmases ago we got her a Nintendo DS Lite. I was very protective of it, stressing putting it in the case and not leaving it lay out and also not letting her take it to her friend's houses initially or her Dad's. I eventually started letting her take it to an overnight at a neighbor's.
I bought her a new game for it for this Christmas which I got a great deal on at Big Lots. Last weekend while cleaning her room I asked where the DS was and she said it was 'fine'. I asked why I haven't seen it on the charger and she claimed it was charged up and shouldn't be charged 'too much.' It hit me tonight when my husband said that everytime we go somewhere now she only wants to take a book. We found it in her room (I also feared maybe she had lost it) but it was in its case and at first I was relieved but then when it was opened and turned on it doesn't work right. The top screen is white with black streaks and you can’t see any of the game on the top screen.
We don't have as much to spend this year like most families because not only was my husband laid off but he worked for a church and churches don't pay the government for unemployment so his application for unemployment pay was denied, so needless to say we can't buy her a new one. I went online to Nintendo's site and it 'can't find her serial number (I am positive I registered it!) so I have no idea yet what it would cost to get fixed or if they can fix it, being 3 years old.
1. Has anyone else had a broken screen? How much did it cost to repair? Could it be repaired?
2. What would you advise us to do about her ‘covering up’ essentially lying about it’s condition? I am sure she was afraid to tell me because of how strict I was about it when it was new and me telling her how important it was to take good care of it because of how much it cost.
3. What about if she took it to her Dad’s? (I have continued to forbid this—he initially wanted to buy just games for it when he found out we bought her one and have us let her take it on his weekends but I put my foot down worried she would break it with constant transit or lose it and he wouldn’t feel obligated to help since he didn’t buy it. Now here we are. Last time I saw her playing it was at my job back in August so this happened in just the past couple of months.
1. Different states have different laws and Ohio where we are does not go back to a prior employer for a 5 year history. This is the first time my husband has lost his job, he works in computers, has a MBA and 20 years experience. He was highly paid and no, a church does NOT have to pay into unemployment. My husband applied anyway and they rejected it as I said before. I am working but cannot make anywhere near what he did.
2. As far as the DS goes we as weighing our options. We actually had a game we (my husband and I) played on it (Brain Age) as well as all of Amber’s games. I contacted Nintendo this morning and they said it is $85 for a repair of her existing one and $90 to get another one that is fixed. Both give you a 1 year warranty, something we wouldn’t get from Craigslist or EBay and the difference is the waiting time 3-5 days for the $90 or 8-16 days for the $85). Game Stop also sells used ones for around $89 but they have no warranty. So one dilemma is how to fix it? If I bid on one on EBay I might be able to get one cheaper but no warranty and without a warranty I really wouldn’t want to pay more than $25. Dilemma #2: So do we confront her now or give her the game as her ‘big gift’ and then let her get upset and finally ‘fess up?’ That remains the question we are weighing. I don’t really want her Dad to cough up ½ the more I think about it because then he will ‘own half’ and want to have it every weekend and she would be taking it to school to bring back home. The people at Nintendo said what is wrong with her’s is that the LCD is messed up and she said that can happen when it’s transported in a backpack even in it’s own case it would be possible. So I guess everyone is right (they are all saying 3 years for it is miraculous, but I still say it’s an expensive gift, too expensive to throw away that kind of money and act like it’s not a big deal. I am sure she has felt punished already having to worry about what we might say and not being able to play it, but I do want her to be honest about it. We will have to think on it some more.
3. Yes, it’s great she is reading but you all missed the first point. SHE is an EXCELLENT student. She LOVES to read and with or without the DS she reads, so the problem is that for three years we INVESTED (what Nintendo is counting on) in her games 17 total that are now not being used and to SELL THEM as someone else suggested is OUT of the question because we wouldn’t get a fair price for them and not only do I have two younger kids that could play them in a year or so, but eventually this daughter will save up or earn the right to have a DS again and then we’d have to go out and buy a bunch of new games which seems like a waste. My issue with Nintendo is that my husband had a cell phone for his former job that cost $600 (insane, I’ll grant you—I protested!) and we had to have it fixed and it cost $50, so in comparison paying $85 or $90 to fix something that retails for $129 seems steep and I think Nintendo is counting on people going out and just paying full price for a brand new one.
4. If we ‘bide our time’ and wait it out perhaps her Dad will buy her one this year and knowing him, he would let her bring it to our house (just to look like the ‘good parent’) OR with the DSi out someone might sell their DS lite for cheap on Craigslist or EBay. The DSi btw is not worth the money in my opinion from my research since this issue came about. It’s battery life is less so it needs charged a lot more than the DS Lite, it is smaller with a bigger screen and takes pictures but according to reviewers the pictures only look good on the unit itself and the web browser on it is slow, plus thusfar they haven’t come out with any really cool games that use it’s capabilities, but maybe they will and then the price of even brand new DS Lites will be forced to come down, just like you can get a Wii now for $199 instead of $250. I guess only time will resolve this but I do thank everyone for their food for thought. It is hard in this forum to explain all the nuances of a situation, so I do thank you all.
5. Yes, things break, I know that. I also know my kid is a good kid and this is a ‘learning opportunity. Yes, I trust her but NO I don’t trust her ‘Dad’s competence’ as someone said that is why he is the EX. Yes, I also know she didn’t tell me because she knows we are living on a lot less money (though she doesn’t comprehend about how much or what that really means as she has no concept yet of a budget or holding down a job etc. Her father has lost his job several times over the years since she was born (not kidding) and so no, if she took it there, he wouldn’t be able to have it fixed or buy her another one, which is why he didn’t buy one in the first place. He was unemployed until this summer when he got a job making substantially less than what he made before so I doubt he has the money now either. My BIG issue here IS the fact that she COVERED it UP and that in my book, IS LYING not some sugar coated ‘misrepresentation of the truth’ (sounds like something Clinton would say). I have to figure out how to REWARD her for YES, taking care of it for 3 years AND being an exemplary student (her teacher just told me she is in the top 2% of her class and no, that not because the past 2 months she couldn’t play her DS, she has always been that way) BUT not coming to us with the truth of what happened. I AM NOT accusing her, which is why I put in there about what Nintendo told me and others about how easily they break. Yes, I know they are made to be ‘toted around’ but think about it, Nintendo made these essentially for kids, they are not some McD’s toy you just play with one day and throw away when it gets busted. It seems like they want you to take it around because that adds to more kids wanting one and if it breaks, well now I know how much you have to invest to get it fixed. My daughter has always been allowed to have friends over here to play with it and like I said I started letting her take it to friends for sleep overs (with Moms I trusted) but sorry, I don’t trust her Dad, he has spent his life trying to cost me money so he would think it funny I would be stuck if he was unemployed and couldn’t pay to get it fixed that he left me holding the bag.
6. I posted this for input but also to let others know how easily they do break and how much hassle and expense it is to find another one without it costing an arm and a leg, not to be harassed myself for being an inadequate mother as some of you have done. I am obviously a good mother trying to teach my child the importance of education and responsibility and honesty. I posted here in the heat of having just found it broken, after a nice evening out with my husband (I won free game tickets and my step son watched his sisters so we could go out). I was emotional and wanted to ‘vent’ and clear my head before approaching her about it so some of my choice of words would have reflected that, but that doesn’t equate to me being a bad mom, again, quite the contrary.
I agree with Joyce. Let her keep reading. It's so much better for her!
I would confront her, tell her you found the DS and know it's broken. She should have told you about it and you won't be replacing it or fixing it because of the deception. Whether she threw it on the ground or it broke on its own, she should have told you about it.
I don't think how or why the toy is broken is an issue since it sounds like she took good care of it. However, I would totally address the fact she covered it up/lied about it and I would not wait for her to "confess." I would have a conversation with her that you found it and discovered it wasn't working and that she failed to be honest with you. I would also stress that the discipline being issued is NOT because the DS is broken, but because she failed to answer you honestly when you asked her about it.
I also think three years for a DS is quite a long time. They are not meant to last forever and they are meant to be toted around and enjoyed with others - they even connect to other DS's so friends can play games interactively.
Hi B...I just wanted to tell you that my daughters DS is broken also(top screen)but the bottom still works and from my research I have found that the DS break very easily and and although you can buy parts for them(check ebay) in the end you are almost better off buying a new one(try law-a-way..sears kmart)then to try to fix it unless you are handy because most places will offer you a 2 yr warranty on a new one. Our daughter bought hers with her own money and was careful with hers but it still broke and since has found out the neighbor's suffered the same fate.Don't be to h*** o* her.Maybe she can "earn' the money by doing chores around the house to help replace it.Good luck
I feel very sorry for your daughter. Frankly why would she be honest when she knows how furious you're going to be with her. Maybe if she thought you would be understanding she would want to talk to you. Three years is a long time to have kept it fully functioning. Does she get any credit for that? The words you use are telling..."confront her" "wait and let her fess up". It seems you've been waiting all along for her to mess up and now you have your opportunity to punish her. How about sitting down and having a conversation? How about the fact that accidents happen? Have you ever broken anything that was expensive? What your daughter needs is some grace and love, some kudos for taking such good care of it for this long, and an honest discussion about why she didn't want to come to you in the first place. In the end, maybe she doesn't really want another one. You can learn all of this if you would just communicate with her.
I did not take the time to read the other responses you received. The thing that jumped out at me the most about your post is that your daughter is afraid to come to you when something bad happened. I know it is not good that the toy broke and it was expensive, but three years is a long time and it is just a toy. I would go to your daughter and tell her you found the Nintendo and it saw that it was broken. Ask how it happened. Perhaps it was just transporting it and not due to carelessness. Let her talk without judging and placing blame. Hear her out and then discuss what the options are at that point: buying a new one, replacing the old, having her earn some money to help pay for it might be a good idea if it broke due to her carelessness with it.
Then address the more important issue of her not feeling like she could come to you when it happened. She is entering the age when she needs to feel free to come to you with anything and everything without feeling like she will be judged or punished for what she says. Let her know you were upset that you found the toy and she didn't tell you. Encourage her that even if you may be upset with what has happened she can always come to you and still be loved no matter what.
Good luck.
There seems to be more than one issue here. I am not surprized she did not tell you it is not working. If she has had this electronic toy for 3 years she has used much diligence in care-taking. If you don't want to get her another that is totally up to you and her father. She won't suffer for not having it. Some experts say kids actually learn from reading...sarcasm. I don't know your daughter but I would bet after hearing what happened, she is probably relieved the Precious Toy is not at such an elevated status. What's the deal with not taking it to her dad's house? These toys are meant to be portable. It doesn't sound like you have much faith in her or her dad's competence. Have some compassion, I am sure she feels much worse than you. If you choose to get her another one, perhaps you could find a deal on ebay or craigs list.
First, the toy is 3 years old. The fact that she took care of it for this long without issue is a good thing. It does mean that she places a value on the game.
Second, things break. THat's the way it is - sometimes it's an accident, sometimes not. But it sounds like you'd rather accuse her of lying than getting to the bottom of the issue in finding out what happened.
Also - note that there's a distinction between lying and misrepresenting the truth. You asked her where it was, she said it was fine (meaning it's not stolen or lost). You didn't ask if it was broken. She may have misrepresented the truth, but she didn't lie. (And yes, you need to have a conversation with her about that and she needs to know that ommitting information is equally as bad as lying.)
She already knows it was very important to you that she take care of it (and did a good job of it for nearly 3 years). She already knows that it's expensive because you've told her so. (No wonder she didn't want to tell you what happened.)
Talk to her. Let her know that you found it, turned it on, and there was an issue with the screen, and you'd like to know what happened. Try to actually listen to her, and not condemn and criticize her before you find out what happened. Once you find out what happened, then you can try to figure out how to proceed - whether to get another DS or not, and whether or not she should contribute to the new DS, and what that would mean (doing chores, etc., and she should be cleaning her own room). Find some sort of "merit system" (since she's too young to really have a job) and then once she's "worked it off", then get a new system.
You could really turn this into a teaching tool/life lesson if you approach it right.
Just a few thoughts....for what it's worth...and good luck!
if she hasn't told you that it's broken why fix it?
BRAVO for her taking care of it for THREE YEARS! That's a minor miracle in itself! I would be surprised if your daughter did break the game... it doesn't take much to damage a digital screen, and they don't last forever. What your describing - the lines - sounds typical of a screen just "going out" or at worse, being dropped (an accident).
Your daughter obviously knows it will upset you when you find out and THAT ALONE is why she skewed the facts. As to what to do about it, you need to reassure her that she means more to you than any expensive toy, and you value honesty over anything. Tell her she will not be punished for telling the truth. Let her know you found it inoperable and ask what happened. It could be she didn't do anything to it and was afraid you would accuse her of breaking it (as you seem to be), thus her "lie."
Wow. This will sound harsh, and totally opposite of everyone else, but......
You say that now instead of playing stupid computer games, she is reading books?? WHERE is the problem????
Tell her that you're sorry she felt she had to lie by omission, but you really want her to feel she can come to you anytime, with anything, and you may be upset at first, but only with the situation, not with her. You know that you want her to feel she can always come to you. Tell her that whatever it is, you can talk about it and work it out.
And DON'T get her another DS or get this one fixed.
Then let her keep reading books, and get lost in her imagination; she can be anyone and do anything and go anywhere when she's reading. With a computer game, she can only do what the developer of the software tells her she can do.
Good luck,
J.
I would confront her about the lying. Make sure you temper the conversation with love and gentleness. I don't know what would be wrong with it, I'd have to ask my husband, he's more tech then I am. It could have simply broke because it itself is defective, but because it "broke" she was frightened of telling you. Find out how and why it broke. My DS has been in the hands of my 3 year old many times and has yet to break, so I think it would have taken a good lot to break your daughters. Depending on how and why it broke, you can decide if you want to replace it, or if she even wants it replaced. I looked at Amazon for you and it looks like a replacement would be about $130. She could work for it around the house and replace it herself or you can try K-mart and use layaway. If she pays she might have better respect and layaway will help with the cost over time. Good luck.
Before I would spend much time worrying about the toy, I would worry about my daughter. Like others said the toy lasted a long time and more than likely just fizzled out on its own. Between my husband and my brother they have owned 5! xBox 360's that have done just that. Died.
I spent my childhood fearing how my mother would react to every little thing I did. My mother loved me fiercely and I knew that, but she also had a way of overreacting that caused me to start hiding all kinds of things from her.
It continued into my teens and into my early adulthood.
I have a good relationship w/ my mother but it has not come easily.
I am a very different person from my mother but I have to make an effort to not overreact about silly things myself. I got upset the other day about a tiny felt bridle my daugther broke-and I can FIX that. :(
I would urge you to have a open and honest conversation w/ your daughter to let her know how much you love her and how much you want her to come to you always (and first). She is rapidly on her way to her teens, please make sure she knows she can always tell you any and everything and still have your love.
I am sure you want her to know that, so take this perfect oportunity.
Take care.
I think you are making a big deal out of this. Sure, it was expensive, and you stressed to her to take good care of it. She didn't, end of story. Don't worry about replacing it. Let it go. It teaches her resposibility.
However, I am thinking you put too much emphasis on the rules of using the device, etc and now she is afraid to tell you it got broken. I would be worried that she won't want to come and tell you when she is having real problems, like peer pressure with drugs/alcohol, sex... whatever. It's not easy to be a teen and I think that you should try and really stress that although people make mistakes you will always be there for her. That way she will not want to hide things from you and will tell you things.
Good luck.
Talk with her about it without accusing her. She may have been fearful to tell you.
Also 3 years is a long time to have kept it good. Are you sure she broke it?
I have an old nintendo hand held unit when the batteries get week it does a similar thing to the screen. I know her does not have batteries, but the charger may not be charging properly.
Is there a place you can call or a web site you can trouble shot?
My daughter takes her everywhere and I throw it in my purse. It drops on the floor etc. but it has not broken. However her's is only a year and a half old.
It might be that 3 years is the shelf life?
Best wishes
I can relate somewhat with your issues. My now 11 yr old had to wait two years for a DS. He also knows that because of finances that if he was to break it or lose any of his games; that is it, I can not get him another one until all "needs" have been met. I would consult your daughter one on one, eye to eye and show her what you found. Ask her about it and see what she says. If she did indeed lie and admits to it now I would explain that she was priveledged once to be able to have such an expensive thing. If she wants another one it will have to come out of her own money. There are jobs 11yr olds can do. Shoveling side walks and babysitting are acouple. If in deed it was an accident, do what you can to either help her replace it or replace it yourself if you can manage. I also know that kids at that age are trying to identify to who they are. So it is a hard age. But also a good age of realizing what life is all about and it is tough. Good Luck and know that what ever the outcome is...she loves you and if it doestn' work out the way she wants it to...she won't hate you for ever.
My son is a computer geek, and has broken the screen on his cell phone before, and fixed it to be as good as new. He searched for the screen on ebay, and found one for about $15, I think. Much less than the replacement cost of the phone. He was able to take it apart and replace the screen which hooks in with a small ribbon cable to the board. I would think that this could be done with a Nintendo DS as well, and since it is not under warranty, it would be ok to give it a try.
As for whether you want to repair or replace it, that is your call. This usually happens if it is dropped or gets wet. Or just from wear and tear. You know your daughter and can judge whether she took good care of it or not.
I hope your financial situation will soon be better. So many have lost jobs.
I know what you mean about the unemployment. I work for a church-based child care center, and they don't pay unemployment either. It totally stinks.
Anyway, I was thinking that maybe she didn't tell you that the ds was broken because she knows you and your husband are struggling and didn't want to burden you. Or, she didn't want to admit that you were right in the first place.
However you figure out how to fix it, I would let her help pay for it. Even if she just pays you back, since something you help pay for is something you will take better care of.
B., here is a link to a website that shows how to repair the screen by yourself:
http://www.instructables.com/id/Replace-the-top-screen-of...
It also mentions that for the screen is about $40 but they are much cheaper on Ebay (so maybe $20). I think you should look in other gaming stores too (not the big chain ones like Game Stop). We bought a used one in great shape for $60. I would think that for kids, it's best to start with a used item due to the cost. We bought a DS for our 7 and 4 year old to share for our long trips. Having fragile items will teach kids to be careful with their things but you should also choose a used item so if there is an accident the financial loss is not too big. I think 3 years is absolutely great for an 11 year old! That shows that she has been very careful! I'm sure that the broken screen was just an accident and that you only address the lying. As a lesson, maybe she can do chores around the house until the cost of DS is covered and then she can have a replacement. Part of her lesson will be that she will have to wait to have a DS again until she earns it. From now on she will have to be extra careful too :)
Well... whatever you do, do NOT buy her a new one or repair the broken one. She broke it by not taking care of it. If she wants another one, then she can just save up her money and buy it herself. Most kids take care of expensive things if they have to work and save for them. My 11 year old nephew just bought a Nintendo DS for himself a couple months ago... he saved for almost 2 years -- with a $2/week allowance and random odd jobs here and there. Needless to say, he treats that thing with the utmost respect, never lets friends handle it and keeps it safe in its case at all time. He knows he gave up going to movies with friends, books he wanted, legos and other toys he wanted, to save for it.
Did she actually lie about breaking it? Or just didn't come right out and tell you. There's a difference. Yes, she should've told you, but if you didn't ask her "did you break it?" and she didn't answer "no" to the question then it's not so much lying as just omission. Most kids see that as a big difference. Also find out how it was broken... was it because she was careless or was it an honest accident?
Hi B.,
I would say let it go, don't fix it, it costs more to fix than to buy a new one. I think it's a good thing it broke and she's turning to books instead voluntarily. I can't tell you how much time my son has wasted on the DS, PS3, PSP .. I finally took it all away this March and I have only seen positive side effects. My son is the same age by the way, he's in grade 6 and there is simply no time to be spending staring at a small screen.
I think it also causes them to squint and ruin their eyesight in the long run. So I am counting my blessings that he can live without his games. And yes, we have literally hundreds of games in the house, untouched. I plan to let him have it only on special occasions and so far I have not budged. I refused to let him have it on car rides because he could actually observe his surroundings and be more
aware of the environment around him and to recognize danger.
Seriously, count your blessings when you wrote she takes books instead now. That you are firm with her is always a good thing.
The lie, mmm.. how about helping you with chores and talk it over again about why it is important to be able to come to mom with the truth no matter what. Good luck.
B.,
Sorry for the issue you are having. I beleive strongly that you need to take care of your stuff... once it's gone it's gone. My kids are a bit younger (2, 4 & 5), so they haven't go into the expensiver toys yet. But we do make them keep the game system (LeapFrog) in the livingroom where we can watch them with it & it isn't to go anywhere. They have also been told if it brakes it's gone.
Personnaly I don't think you should replace it... 1) she broke it 2) she hid it 3) she lied about it when you asked her about it. Even if things weren't as tough this year with your hubby not working... she needs to understand the responsibily of taking care of her stuff or loosing it. Maybe next year give it another try, but for now I'll make her live without it - even if all her friends have one.
Good luck!
J.
I would sit down with your daughter and try to talk with her about it to get more information, not to scold. Tell her you noticed that it isn't working and need to know as much about the reason as possible so that you know what to ask the company about fixing it and what not to do in the future if she were to ever have something like it again. I'd say, I'm sorry it broke, we'll see what we can do to fix it but there are no guarantees. If it can't be fixed, it might be good to sell the games and use the money to buy something else. I'd leave the ex-husband out of it. If it did break from transit, I'd just say, well I told you this would happen. I'm sorry you didn't listen.
First, unless your husband was a private contractor and responsible for paying all his employement taxes his employer should have paid unemployemnet taxes even if he works for a church or non-profit.
Secondly if your daughter has the DS for three years and used it as much as you said she did then you got a good buy. I have a sister and several friends that had one and after a year or two of continuous use the screens eventually burn out. If you got three years its becuase she took such good care of it. Nothing in this life is forever. Things wear out they are designed to so you can keep buying more. Maybe it just broke and you are being to h*** o* her.
It seems like it was something that your child really loved. Maybe it time for her dad to step up and buy her one. Also with the newer ds game coming out this year you may be able to find a good used one at a games resale shop. We have two kids under five and they have several dvds that they have ruined even though we have done our best to limit their interaction with them. We frequent BuyBacks to replace ruined dvds it we have to.
