26 answers

Dilemma

I have a situation that I am having a hard time making a decision about. I have the opportunity to go down to working 4-days at work. I would lose my insurance so I would need to be put on my husband's. Unfortunately at this time for me to be placed on his insurance it will be a little more costly than we were anticipating. We have discussed waiting until January, however here is my problem. We have a son (10 1/2 months) and are looking to be getting pregnant again soon. Whatever I decide I will need to decide before I get pregnant again. Ultimately, after baby #2 comes I would like to be in a position where I can quit work all together and become a SAHM. If I go part time now & get placed on my husband's insurance it will only slow down the process of paying off our debt (which we need to do before I can quit). If I don't go part time now and don't get on my husband's insurance then I will be stuck if I get pregnant as I will still be on my insurance. My husband mentioned just going part time and then me going 5 months without insurance (until January) but that doesn't help me with the "what ifs" of if I get pregnant before that. I guess it wouldn't be terrible to wait until after January to get pregnant but I had my son last August and was miserable being pregnant throughout the summer because we don't have AC. lol ... I was hoping to get pregnant in the next few months so the next baby could be born before the summer. Crazy I know. I could play the "wait and see game" and go part time but then I have all these what ifs going on in my head. Even if I go part-time and get on his insurance I'm worried we won't be in a position where I can quit after baby #2. Or I could stay full time but then I have to stay until after the next baby is born due to insurance. My husband is getting frustrted with me because I won't make a decision (he says I can do whatever I want to be happy) but I just don't know what to do!! It would be great to work part-time to have an extra day at home with my little man but it would also be great knowing that I would have a better chance at quitting all together when the time comes. I know that nobody can help me make my decision but I just want to know ... what you YOU do??

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

I agree with Stacy. You could have one extra day with him a week now, but if you stay ft until the next one, you could have EVERY day with both kids! Yay! :)

3 moms found this helpful

Well, I think you summed it up best when you wrote that you're "in the process of paying off debt." Never a better time to jump on the dave Ramsay bandwagon to pay off ALL debt. Use his techniques to become a "cash" family and then you can "live like no one else"! Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

How about switching to his insurance now and staying on at your job full time for a few more months to blitz out some debt. Then when you get preggers, go part time. I would just make a goal of how much debt I wanted to pay off. Set a date, and stay full time to that date. But if you get on hubs insurance now, no matter what happens you should be ok, and you should still have the extra $ to handle it if you stay on full time for a bit longer but you won't have to stay of for the rest of your pregnancy if you don't want to. The only plan I don't think is good is not having insurance till Jan. You never know what can happen. That is just my opinion. Take care and good luck!!;)

6 moms found this helpful

I suggest staying full time until the baby is born, because at that point, you can get on your husband's insurance (because it is a qualifying life change). Then, simply don't go back to work and you're staying home with your kids. This solves the problem of being uninsured, and paying off debt. Sure, you don't get to go part time now, but life is about working now and playing later. You will be able to spend every day with your children after the baby comes.

5 moms found this helpful

If I were you I'd just stay in your full time position up until you have another baby. Then once you have your baby quit and become a stay at home mommy. So while you are preganant your insurance will be cheaper and you can pay off all of your debts. Hope this helps! Good luck!

4 moms found this helpful

part time is a great solution for many of us, but in your case i myself would probably stay full-time with that lovely carrot of stay-at-home momhood to look forward to. get that debt paid down so you can really enjoy your next pregnancy and then being with your babies.
good luck!
khairete
S.

4 moms found this helpful

My FIRST priority would be paying off the debt. Debt can destroy a relationship and cause all kinds of stress and strain. If you get pregnant, what if there are complications?...more debt.........then you might even delay wanting to get pregnant because of the debt.

You need to weigh out your priorities and ask yourself about the consequences if you do this or don't do that. What will HELP your family and relationship?....what might potentially cause harm or stress to the relationship? What if you waited one more year to have your next child? Would that be so bad? You can enjoy the one you have even more than spreading out the time, energy, etc.

If I were in your shoes, I'd hold off on getting pregnant and pay off the debt. Enjoy being debt free, spending more concentrated time on the ONE you have right now. There are lots of things you might not enjoy as much or miss out on if there were another infant in the house.

Your relationships are the most important things you have in life, aside from your own character, of course. I try to foresee any issues that might arise and make sure I don't go down that path. (I'm NOT a worrier, but rather very highly discerning and have alot of God given wisdom) Base your decision on PRINCIPLE, not emotion.

Once you DO make your decision, don't be wishy washy about it, move on and move forward. If you don't, and repeatedly talk about "I wish I would have", "I'm still not sure.." etc. then it will only create more frustration and tension in your relationship w/ your husband. Do you want to risk that?

3 moms found this helpful

Easy fix. Just ask if you can work a reduced work week (meaning, take off 1 day every 2 weeks) - that's what I do and I have insurance and now I have the flexibility of taking my one day off if the kids are sick.

If that's not possible, I wouldn't chance not having insurnace - it's a must and you never know what could happen, so don't take that chance.

Good luck.

3 moms found this helpful

I agree with Stacy. You could have one extra day with him a week now, but if you stay ft until the next one, you could have EVERY day with both kids! Yay! :)

3 moms found this helpful

If you can work while pregnant and I say this because my preg were so hard on me I couldn't then stay at your job and quit after the baby is born.

3 moms found this helpful

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