Difficult Baby - Waynesville,NC

Get some help!!!!!!!! Friends, relatives.....We were blessed with 2 very "good" babies that only cried when hungry. They did not sleep through the night till they were past 18 months old, but I could just go in at night, give them a bottle and they would go back to sleep. I have friends with "difficult" babies and would just go and spend a night every so often so they(parents) can get good night sleep. Ask for help.If you do not have anyone, but can afford you can find a trusted(check references , back ground, ect of course) night sitter on craigslist. There are moms out there who have older kids and just want to make little $$$$(they ask very reasonable fee). My 2 cents

Hi E.,

I am so sorry that you are having such a challenging time with you little one. Sounds like both of you are not getting much sleep -- or much good sleep. It is very difficult when you know your baby is in distress, and you, yourself, are also exhausted.

You mentioned that your baby had esophagitis when he was younger. Was his diagnosis eosinophilic esophagitis? Was he treated by a local GI doctor who is familiar with the disorder and the various treatment options? How did they diagnose and treat the problem? Did he have an endoscopy with biopsies? Have you taken your son to an allergist? Has anyone suggested giving him a probiotic? The reason I ask is that my son has eosinophilic esophagitis and I wonder if your son might have had -- and still have -- the same disorder. I am the co-leader of local support group for families living with eosinophilic disease. Our group is called TEG (Triangle Eosinophilic Group) and we have our next meeting on Saturday, October 10th, at 2 pm. Typically, we meet once a month (on the third Sunday from 2-4) but this week we are doing a "family day" at Duke Gardens. Please feel free to join us on the 10th, or another time, if you think our group might be able to provide you with some support. Lots of us have dealt with similar issues (babies who won't sleep, cry a lot, have reflux, etc.) and we would be happy to listen and share experiences.

My son never slept through the night, was very fussy (although also happy) and had severe eczema, as well as early asthma. I remember a period when he was especially unhappy (crying more than usual) and I assumed it was because he was cutting his teeth. I kept giving him Baby Tylenol, and it never really helped. Now I realize that it was probably his his esophagitis/GERD/GI/allergy issues that was at the root of the problem.

Finally when he was 10 months old we went to an allergist who did skin testing that revealed that he was allergic to over a dozen foods, as well as dogs, cats, mice, mold, etc. He got much better after we stopped exposing him to foods he was allergic to, and moved to a house that had no dogs, mold, etc. Then, when he was 3 1/2, he started having chest and belly pain, difficulty swallowing, nausea, and then vomiting. We eventually went to Cincinnati Children's Medical Center and got a diagnosis of eosinophilic esophagitis. For more information about eosinophilic disease, check out the American Partnership For Eosinophilic Disorders (APFED) website: www.apfed.org. There is lots of good information there.

Please also feel free to contact me. I live in Wake Forest and would be happy to help in any way that I can.

C.

Many babies do better when they are in contact with their moms. Is it possible for you to sleep with him in the bed with you? I slept that way with my younger son (holding him in the crook of my arm, right next to my body), and we both got much more sleep that way, than with him even in the bassinet next to me, or in the crib in another room.

E.,I never had too much problems with either of my two(who are now son is 40 until Nov. 3rd and daughter turned 39 on June 5). I remember though that while my husband was out to sea(We were stationed at Quoinset Point, RI)I brought my 5 month son down to Western NC to visit my husband's parents to introduce them to their first grandchild. My dad had caught a bus from Pensacola, FL to RI to help me drive home in a MGBGT with baby in back where Dad had made him a pallet to sleep on a chichicua and Siamese Cat. Considering how much my family travelled growing up you would have thought that my dad or I would have remember to have brought water for my son's formula, but we didn't and the first night that we got to Harry's parents' about 2 AM Charlie wokeup screaming which scared me. We could not figure out what was wrong ,so my mother-in-law called the local GP. And the first things out of the GP's mouth was what type of bowel movement he had which I realized was none since we had left RI. My son was constipated. So I will ask you the same as many babies when they are teething become constipated. Also, the 1st thing in my nursery was a Rocking Chair which my Grandmother used to say was the most important item for a nursery and she had 18 children of which 15 survived, 5o + grandchildren and I have lost count of the great-grandchildren but when she died at 86 she 58 of them and 11 Great-great-grandchildren and concidering that she ran a Way-Station for the stagecoach in Tucucumcari, NM. When it came to raising children I thought of her as an authority. So pick your son up and rock him with quiet soothing music. If you can hum or sing, sing or hum a lullaby even while you are rocking him read to him. My mom who was an English teacher for over fifty years urged my sister and me to sit them in our lap when they were 6 months and read to them. At my babies middle of the night feeding, after they had their bottle, I would put Franz Liszt' Claire De Lune and read Hans Christian Anderson's children's Tales and they would doze off quite fast. I know that these are very old-fashioned advice, but they worked many generations before my children and they are parents of teenager and pre-teenagers Shari' G

Hi E.,

You undoubtedly have a wonderful caregiver or caregivers for your son. Although it is hard to work and have children, I think that it is possibly better for you to recharge your "mommy batteries" by being at work while a trusted caregiver takes care of him during so much crying that is so stressful. I know you feel guilty about needing the sleep, and though you didn't say so, possibly feeling guilty about working too, but please don't. If you took care of him 24/7, he would feel your stress from his crying and not feeling like you can comfort him, and that would make him cry more and exhaust you as well. Your caregiver, not being "the momma", is better able to see things more objectively and not project mama stress to your baby. That's good for your baby, I promise you.

Teething trials will soon pass, giving you some time to train your baby to sleep through the night now that the esophogitis and GERD is over. Then teething with molars will hit, so be prepared for that. Look over the Ferber method to help you think about ways to help baby sleep, after you get through this difficulty with teething. Meanwhile, try some of the previous poster's ideas, and use Tylenol to help with the pain. Nothing helped as much as Tylenol with my kids when they were teething.

The economy is in a sorry state - don't feel bad about needing to work. It's a part of life and we do what we need to do. Sleep is a necessary component to staying healthy and being able to be a good mom when you are home with your baby. Exhaustion serves no good purpose - you can't care for your son while you are in the hospital! So forgive yourself for needing what you need, and realize that your needs matter so that you can be a better mother.

All my best, E..
D.

I just wanted to tell you to hang in there this will pass just as the other things have. Teething is so hard on mom and baby. I think Motrin worked the best for my little guy so far but I never did try the teething tablets and a lot of my friends swear by them. Oh and careful with the Motrin since he is having surgery on Monday I don't think he can have it until after since it can cause bleeding.

I also wanted to let you know my son had a hypospadis repair about a month and a half ago. It went very well and he has healed up well. If you have any questions feel free to send me a message. I will be praying for your son on Monday. My one piece of advice is make sure you fill all the prescriptions after the surgery I didn't and was sorry because the tylenol with codeine as all that took his pain away. He also needed the meds for the bladder spasms. He was screaming sort of like they do when the acid comes up their throat (my son has reflux not as bad as what your son has though) and it was caused by a bladder spasm and they gave us a special medicine for it.

Hi. I just wanted you to know that I use Hyland's teething tablets on my 22 month old and my 9 month old. That's all I've ever used for my kids while teething. They are wonderful! I hope you have as good luck with them as I have.

I really do know how you feel. My first born had severe reflux as well. She was on 5 meds until she was 4mths old. Hers peaked at 6mths and then quickly got better and better as she switched to solid foods. However, you're totally right.....just in time for the teething. The first few teeth are the worst, for sure. My babies always enjoyed when I would take an ice cube and wrap it in a baby washcloth and then rubberband it and wet it a little. They'd chew and chew and chew on that. The cold would numb their gums and the pressure of knawing on the ice cube felt good to them. Plus, it seemed to work longer than any orajel product. =0) However, at bedtime, I would rub the nightime orajel on them and give them a dose of Infant Motrin. That would really help their teething pain and allow them to rest better. I also know about Hylands Teething Tabs. You can find them at pretty much any store in the baby product aisle. They are teeny tiny tabs that immediately absorb when they're put in baby's mouth. You can barely touch them w/o them dissolving on your finger. They are all natural and very safe. They didn't work for my kids, but I have friends who swore by them. =0) Anything is worth a try. In the meantime, do you have family close by? Close Friends? Is there anyone who could keep your little man for a saturday afternoon so you can take a big fat nap? I know how awful it is to feel so exhausted and overwhelmed. I promise it will get better. It really will. My first born that had the awful reflux is now almost 6 and is now losing those teeth that were so miserable coming in all those years ago. ;0) You'll get through it. Try to get some help with your baby so you can get a little rest. It really would make a world of difference with your patience level!

It sounds like you are doing everything you can to help your baby be more comfortable- please do not feel guilty for wanting to get some sleep. If you don't take care of yourself, you will not be able to take care of the baby. Do you have family or a friend that can come over at least once a week and help out so you can sleep? If not I would consider hiring a babysitter once a week just so you can sleep- though I suggest ear plugs because you will still wake up if you hear crying. Good luck.

you need to sleep! you have to take care of his mommy. it's like being on an airplane..if there is a problem, you put your mask on before you help anyone else's with theirs. It's not to save your own butt first, it's so that you'll be ABLE to save someone else. IF you're tired and frusterated, it's going to make everything worse.

Make sure he's not in danger in anyway, lay him in his crib and tell him how much you love him and that you will be back. Go to a different room, get something cold to drink, take a deep breath and go back in.

Try napping with him in a rocking chair - i've heard that it helps for them to sleep at an angle. Then both of you could nap. try letting him nap in the car seat - put it on the dryer and turn it on so the vibrations can lull him to sleep (don't leave the room!)

Don't feel guilty. You're taking care of his mommy. That's what you should do.

E.,

My heart goes out to you! We have dealt with this twice now. Once with my second child, and now again with our youngest. Although we have only gotten a reflux diagnosis so far, everything else you have described as far as behavior and sleep patterns go is identical to what we have experienced. It can be very trying, and you should not feel guilty about your exhaustion or the desire to sleep at night even when he is unhappy and uncomfortable. Not only is the constant crying stressful, but when you are exhausted, it can be that much harder to handle it.

I am curious, because you did not mention any other treatment besides the surgery, did your pediatrician prescribe anything for your son's reflux? He should have been started on something such as children's Zantac. This is a very specific type of reflux medicine. If memory serves, it works about like Tums to counteract the acid being produced. If that doesn't work, they should switch him to an acid production blocker like Prevacid. It can take a few weeks for it to get fully into his system, but unless there are more serious issues (such as some sort of food allergy), you should see a big improvement. We started on Prevacid back at the end of July and have finally gotten down to only one nighttime waking per night (we had also been doing anywhere from three to six a night). The screaming fits have also improved quite a bit.

I don't know if this will help you at all, but hopefully your doctor will be able to narrow down a treatment that is effective for your son. Until then, hang in there and make sure to follow your gut. Best of luck!

Welcome to the joys of motherhood! I remember being exhausted when my children were infants. Do you have family or friends or church family that could help out a little so you can get some rest? As for the teething, baby orajel, tylenol or similar pain meds for infants, popsicles to chew on (they are messy). Unfortunately, our society has changed years ago when a woman had a baby there were a lot of other women who could make time to help out. Now so many people work and are so busy most new moms just have to do the best they can to take care of themselves and their babies. Do the best you can to comfort the little guy while still taking care of yourself. As long as he knows that he is loved and you have done everything you can to comfort and care for him little crying shouldn't hurt him.

First let me say how sorry I am that your baby has had such difficulties. What a hard way to get started. Second, you DO NEED SLEEP! Get a baby sitter... a good one... and sleep!!! Then when you feel rested you can be so comforting to your child. He needs that from you and not to feel the frustration you feel from everything. Plus, something to consider, your baby has only had one way to deal with everything and that is crying. So that may take some time to work through. Teething is a pain for all. Ours wouldn't take teething rings or anything like that so a cold glass soda bottle was the only thing that soothed his gums. Now, obviously, when teeth come through you can no longer use this as it is very dangerous. Once teeth showed we used a whole carrot that was rounded off on the end. Fun in so many ways. And natural teething tablets!!!! They are the key for us. Get ready for possible sleep and eating interruptions as teething upsets the whole routine. I hope the surgery goes well. You get the rest that you need to be there for you LO. Good luck!