Did He Cheat? What Should I Do?

I completely disagree with the post saying to never get a divorce. You are absolutely doing your children way more harm than good to stay in a marriage that is grounded in dishonesty and uncertainty. Young children can 100% feel that type of energy in a household. They don't need to understand the specifics of what is going on...they can feel the anger and pain that their parents have toward each other.
Why would you stay with someone and be unhappy when the man of your dreams could be out there waiting for you? Divorces do not have to be messy and hateful. One of my husbands best friends is divorced and has the most beautiful relationship with the ex even though he is now remarried. Even his current wife gets along with the ex. They all realize that their priority is their CHILDREN. The children and reaping all the benefits of this. Of course it is not easy - not much worth having is. But it could be one of the if not the greatest gifts you give your kids.
I would say you know in your heart what your husband is up to. Trust your gut even if you don't have concrete "evidence." Those texts are completely inappropriate and regardless if he has taken his relationship physical, a married man should not be talking (or texting) another woman that way. At the very least, you guys needs some serious counseling.
But I really do think you know in your heart what is happening here...it's just hard to face.

Wow, I bet you had a tense Christmas. Sorry hon. :( As far as "is this cheating" I would say... in the technical sense, no. If I found those messages on my husbands email, I would assume them to be that he is either TRYING to cheat with her, or that he really is just playing around... but even if it WAS option #2, you not knowing about her and the type of "jokes" they were would constitute emotional cheating. I think the best course of action would to explain to him that even IF he DIDN'T sleep with her, that message was inapproraite and was emotional cheating. I would also demand marital counseling of some sort to deal with the fact that he feels the need to talk to other women in that manner and keep "friendships" secret from you.... I would NOT take no as an answer for that. I wouldn't jump to divorce court right away... but how he handles this is a big indicator for your future together. If you get any more signs that he's cheating and honestly don't trust him then it doesn't sound like a very good situation to be in. Good luck hon. Let us know how it goes.

I am so sorry that you have to go through this. I wanted to let you know that what your husband has done regardless of the situation you 2 are in is completly inappropriate. Part of the foundation that your marriage is based on is trust and if you dont have that you cannot have a stable relationship. I totally agree that even if you don't have solid evidence it is emotionally cheating. Your self-esteem is low, and your doubting your marriage. Plus this is not good for the children either. Always remember if mom is not fine the kids are not fine, they definantly feel the "vibe". I would confront him on it then seek counceling before actually seeking divorce. But if you are at the end of your rope then do it. You and your children deserve better and as his wife you deserve an explaination.
By the way you didn't do anything wrong don't listen to Richard (typical man) yes it takes 2 to make a relationship work but if one is out playing the field the other should not have to carry all the weight.

Good luck and enjoy your children please keep us posted if you need anything feel free to write

Hi M. A, to suspect your husband of cheating is a hard pill to swallow, especially when there are little ones involved...I know cause I had a husband that cheated on me...he had a perfect life, in that he worked 30 miles away from home and there were days that he didn't come home...I was very young and naive and I never went looking for him...wish they had the program "Cheaters" then, I would have gone on that show in a heartbeat...we wound up divorcing and for me it was a beginning of a new life with a wonderful man that I have been with for 28 years...I thank God everyday for him, because he never gave me cause to feel that there was ever anyone else in his life, but me...my prayers are with you and your family...you will know when enough is enough...it took me 8 years to realize it. Jo

I'm sorry that you're going through this. It must be hard. My opinion is that you deserve better. You don't have to actually "prove" he cheated. He has left room for doubt and mistrust, and those two things do not belong in a marriage. Married men have no business corresponding with other women and making new female friends without their wives' knowledge. Your husband should definitely NOT be writing "meu amour" even as a joke. Even if your husband has no physical contact with any of these women, he is still cheating. He is giving them time and investing emotions that he should be giving you and investing in you. I know that it may be hard to consider leaving him since you have children, but please do what's best for you. Remember that your future happiness and those of your children will greatly depend on who your lifemate is. Good luck.

what a horrible post for xmas eve you poor thing!

i have a friend who found out she was cheated on via text msges. but the ones you read sound much much more tame. his were vile and sexual and there was no question. meu amor might be quite harmless. and it may just be firtation not hardcore cheating.

have you directly confronted him? showing him the msges?

i worked for a divorce attorney once and he said never get a divorce. and as a teacher of many kids with divorced parents i echo that. do anything you an to avoid it.

good luck dear God bless