Desperately in Need of Reassurance!

You're right, spotting is certainly something of a concern, but it sounds like you did the right thing getting professional advise! So take a load off and relax in this area. You've passed the 1st trimester, which is the biggest risk time for miscarriage and there isn't anything you can do to prevent it outside of normal pregnancy precautions.

Best wishes on selling/renting your house. This economy is a tough one, but as we've been house hunting lately, its hard to find a reasonably priced rental home, so maybe renting it will be a good thing, as that part of the market has a vacancy. However, think of how our grandparents and great grandparents did it. Many of them raised large families in very small homes. Somehow they made it work, and it was considered more normal. The size of the average 3 bedroom home has grown exponentially in the last 20 years, as have the sizes of cars and stuff like that. So my point is, it can be done. Keep the bedroom for sleeping only and keep toys out. Get a bunk bed for the boys, that will open up floor space (they have ones with good safety rails, and some can be trundle beds so the top isn't so high up and the bottom one slides under it once they're done sleeping. You just need to be creative and smart with the space you have. But you can do it! Take it as a challenge - watch a home improvement show to give you inspiration - and make it work. And keep the house on the market, the spring is a great time to buy or sell it.

Remember too, pre-school is not required, and he's pretty young. Most parents use it as a babysitter so they can get stuff done at home. If its too much for you to get him ready and out the door, keep him home. He can learn lots from you as well, and the social stuff will come with time, he's not an only child, so he's got a lot of it already. Also watch how he handles it, the timing of him going to school and the baby's arrival might make him feel as though he's being pushed out of the nest by the new baby, or missing out on the fun at home, things like that. Or he might LOVE it! So just be flexible to his needs and reactions.

Best wishes!

1 mom found this helpful

I am 29 weeks pregant with my 2nd child. I had the same situation around 12 or 13 weeks. Spotting that lasted for a good week or so. I called my doctor and they asked if we had recently had intercourse and we did...it seemed to go away after the week and I have not had it since. I didn't have an ultrasound which you did and you also saw the heartbeat. Hang in there, I was worried about it for a good month. I had no spotting with my first pregnany at all so I was very nervous just like you are.

Of all of the advice that I can give you, it would be..don't worry. I know that sounds like an impossible task, but sometimes the spotting is really minor, nothing that would affect you or your baby. I had some spotting with my second child, and it all turned out to be no big deal...he's healthy now. Just relax...take your docs advice, and don't be scared about asking for help (taking your kid to school and everything else). I'm sure you have people who can help you, and would be willing to do so!

Women often bleed during pregnancy. I bled for 3 weeks.. My child was fine. If they see a heartbeat on ultrasound. That is a very good sign. The baby will probably be fine.

I would get your son involved in some social activities now... library story times. playgroups... sunday school at church... anything to get him used to social settings. My duaghter just started preschool at 3 years old. she has doen very well-- but I have been taking her to library story times and playgroups for almost 2 years.. so she is very used to being around kids and talking to teachers..

most kids do quite well in preschool and are ready to play with the other kids. but any thing you do now will make the transitioin easier on him.

The only thing you can do is rest and relax! Spotting can happen throughout the pregnancy. You are over the 12wk mark which is huge. Just so you know there is nothing you can do to prevent a miscarriage. Over 50% of pregnancy end in a misscarriage, however, not everyone realizes they are even pregnant! I have had one and I blamed myself for the longest time; but in the end it's all okay. I would just start enjoying the pregnancy for all it's worth.
As far as the house, good luck. I can't really tell you a whole lot more than that. The market really sucks, I'm in the same position as you. We need more room, but have to deal with what we have. My husband just keeps telling me to be thankful that we have a roof over our heads; I hate it when he tells me that, but it's true. Good luck with everything!

I had some spotting with my first pregnancy, my daughter is now a healthy 15 year old. I do remember I was told not to vacuum. Try to lay down and rest as often as possible.

I had spotting throughout my two pregnancies and everything was fine! You sure have a lot on your plate, but you have to believe that everything will work itself out in th end!

Hi K.! First, You really need to stop worrying. I know sometimes that's really hard but it doesn't help anything or change anything. You need to stay healthy.
I also have a house for sale for 3 yrs. And My house is too small for my family. But the kids are surviving and they know that it won't always be this way. So they are fine. Everything happens for a reason, even if we don't like it or understand it. If you believe in God, then my advice is to pray. (No, I'm not a religious freak) But that's what I do instead of worrying. And it helps alot.
As far as your son, you have plenty of time to prepare him that because he is such a big boy, he gets to go to school! and make it really exciting for him. That's going to be a crazy huge adjustment time for your family!!
C.

Oh my K....take a deep breath and try to relax!! Since you had an ultrasound and baby cakes is fine...stop worrying about THAT. I spotted the first 6 weeks of my #2 baby and all was well (she is 27 now) As far as the who sleep where when #3 arrives....no rush...no worries. Keep the new baby with you for 6 months in a bassinette or your bed. You could also put Logan and Tyler in a bed together. I did this with my 3 and they slept like little kittens...my eldest daughter, now 30 puts hers sweeties in bed together too. As for the preschool starting, is there a playgroup he could go to in the summer a couple days a week for a few hours? It would be good practice before #3 arrives....keep in mind the baby might arrive before preschool starts, you never know. Starting preschool and a new baby could be bit much all at the same time. Having some practice at being away from you could be helpful to him.You are smart to be thinking about these things now, instead of in August! Good Luck and all the best to you!

I have been pregnant three times, and have two children ages five years and almost nine months. I had a miscarriage with my first pregnancy. Then, with my oldest daughter (my second pregnancy) I started spotting, and then bleeding at about 10 weeks. I was so scared and nervous, especially having previously had a miscarriage. I had a lot of opinions from both doctors and midwives. Some said bed rest, others said if I was going to have a miscarriage there was nothing I could do about it, it was just going to happen. Like you, I went for an ultrasound. Everything was fine, but I was still bleeding. The doctor said that up to 25% of all women bleed at some point during their pregnancy, and still have a happy baby. He also said that the bleeding will most likely stop as mysteriously as it began. And he was right. It lasted for around two weeks, and then just stopped. My daughter was healthy, and still is. I know it is hard not to worry, but stressing yourself out is only going to do more harm. My suggestion would be to be very positive. Tell yourself daily you are going to have a healthy baby, that you are healthy, and that your baby is healthy growing inside of you. Good luck!

Hello, K.,

I can't offer advice about spotting during pregnancy from my own experience. My mom spotted when she was pregnant with me. The first time, the doctor put her on bed rest. I asked her if my dad did the laundry and cleaning. (I have 2 sisters and a brother older than me) Ha! He carried her up and down the stairs to do the laundry and cleaning. Gee, what good was that? So, the second time she started bleeding, she just put a pad in her undies and kept going, trusting that whatever happened would be the right thing. Now, I'm 40-something.

Maybe what I can offer help with is how to socialize with pre-schoolers. I would be lost without my Mom of Preschoolers group (MOPS). I'll be graduating this year as my daughter will start kindergarten in the fall. I also have a second grader. You can find a group close to home at www.mops.org

I know it is difficult, but we all have times when we need to learn how to ask for and accept help. If you haven't asked for help from or leaned on your husband, well then, now is the time. He won't let you fall. He may be unsure of how to help you during this time. Or, he might just be a clueless man who needs you to explain it to him. (Mine varies between the two.) Either way, the men we chose to make our spouses generally take their vows - in sickness and health - in good times and in bad - seriously. I count in my blessings a husband who sees caring for our kids as my full-time job and caring for our house as our job.

One more thing. Bigger houses aren't necessarily better. We moved 6 1/2 years ago - just at the peak of home sales. Our goal was a bigger house for more kids. We only had one more child. So, now our house feels kind of - too big. And, now I have three(!) bathrooms to clean! (2 full and 1 half bath) Three toilets! We got a great price because it was a fixer-upper. But, now that we fixed it up, we couldn't sell it if we needed to. Our house value is now less than our mortgage+equity line used to fix it up. So, we wait and hope my husband is still employed.

These are some of the things that I have learned. I hope that they help you rest comfortably in your home and with your family. With love and prayers, D.

Hi K.. I've been in your shoes, I am a natural worrier. I had spotting w/my 1st child (after a previous miscarraige so I was FREAKING). Anyway they did an ultrasound and all was fine, I heard the heartbeat, I think I was about 6 or 7 weeks preg. So bottom line, relax, you heard a heartbeat, the chances of having a miscarraige after hearing a heartbeat is VERY VERY unlikely. Most miscarraiges occur before you can even hear a heartbeat. Congratulations!

I had spotting with my first pregnancy as well. All the doctor had me do was to take it easy, physically (no major working out, etc). My daughter is now a healthy (and big!) 2 1/2 year old (and I'm pregnant with my 2nd - no spotting so far). each pregnancy is differnet so even though you didn't spot with your first two, it doesn't necessarily mean anything major is wrong with this pregnancy. Just be sure to take it easy.

As for your oldest starting pre-school right before you deliver, I suggest (if you're up to it) starting to get him into some social situations now to prepare him. You can try taking him to play-group type places like Gymboree where he can interact with other kids. Then reall "talk it up" when it comes to pre-school. Keep telling him of all the fun things he'll be doing and how exciting it will be.

As for your house... that's harder one :( If you want to consider renting, you can look to see if there is some sort of reputable management agency that will do it for you (of course, it will be at a fee). They should be able to do a nice background check on any tenant you may have in your home which may alleviate some stress.

It's SO important to try to limit the stress in your life (I know, easier said than done!) I understand though - I'm pregnant right now too and my husband and I both work for organizations that are going through lay-offs so we're both fearful of losing our jobs (just like almost everyone in Michigan, sadly!) I try to remind myself that nothing is more important than a healthy baby and that we can get through anything as long as we have each other and our family :) That helps me calm my fears. And if you're a religious person, I highly recommend praying. At church a little while back, our pastor gave a sermon on the importance of "quieting" the voices that cause you stress and simply talking to and listening to God. I find that this technique helps calm me when I start to get manic, worrying about finances, kids, work, etc.