K.B. asks from Wyoming, MI on April 01, 2009
Desperately in Need of Reassurance!
I am sending out this request because I am hoping some of you have gone through this same issue and can reassure me that everything will be ok. I am currently 14 weeks pregnant with my third child and (after my husband and I had intercourse) I experienced spotting. Keep in mind this is something I had not experienced with either of my other pregnancies. The spotting has occured on several different occasions. Also, my Mom had two miscarriages - this all makes me very worried. I spoke with my doctor and she ordered an ultrasound. They said that they were able to see evidence of the bledding but that it had not affected the baby as of yet. I got to see my little peanut's hearbeat which was a huge relief, but I'm still worried. I know that stress is not good for the baby or myself, but I can't help it! To top it off, we've been trying to sell our house on and off for the past three years!! It is too small for the four of us and therefore even smaller for the five of us. So, not only am I worried about the spotting and the health of the baby, but also the size of our house and how it is all going to work. My three children will have to share the same 10x10 room! We are thinking of renting our house out and renting something bigger ourselves, but we're nervous about the risk involved (if we don't get a tenant or don't have a good, reliable tenant, etc.). Then, on top of all of that, my oldest will be starting preschool about two weeks before the baby is due (it will be his first major social experience away from home) and I am nervous about how he will do and how well I will do managing all three children as I have to get him off to school three days a week! I am so sorry to ramble on - I guess I just needed to vent. Please, I am desperately in need of some advice, your personal experiences, and just some solid reassurance!!
So What Happened?™
Wow... I just really want to thank all of you wonderful women out there who responded to my request! I needed reassurance and you definitely came through for me - I can't even tell you how much all of your responses warmed my heart. To those of you living in cramped quarters like me, a special thank you for your responses because it truly helps to know that I'm not alone! To give you an update: I had a regular prenatal check-up and my doctor informed me that I have a hematoma (blood clot) in my placenta or rather right at the edge of it which caused it to not attach to my uterine lining in that spot (hence the bleeding). She said that in most cases, the blood clot simply disolves and everything is fine. The possible issue with this is that the placenta could continue to detach thus causing a miscarriage. Due to the small size of my blood clot, she was not overly concerned. I am now feeling much better and have not experienced any spotting since!! As for the house situation, we had decided that we were indeed going to rent it out and then my hubby (along with everyone else at his place of employment) received a pay cut. Because of that, we are staying put and are currently working on brainstorming ways to make this house work for what will soon be 5 of us! It's definitely not ideal (did I mention we have no basement and no backyard!), but the sun is shining and we'll get through it :) Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for lifting my spirits and showing me that I'm not alone!
M.W. answers from Kalamazoo on April 02, 2009
You're right, spotting is certainly something of a concern, but it sounds like you did the right thing getting professional advise! So take a load off and relax in this area. You've passed the 1st trimester, which is the biggest risk time for miscarriage and there isn't anything you can do to prevent it outside of normal pregnancy precautions.
Best wishes on selling/renting your house. This economy is a tough one, but as we've been house hunting lately, its hard to find a reasonably priced rental home, so maybe renting it will be a good thing, as that part of the market has a vacancy. However, think of how our grandparents and great grandparents did it. Many of them raised large families in very small homes. Somehow they made it work, and it was considered more normal. The size of the average 3 bedroom home has grown exponentially in the last 20 years, as have the sizes of cars and stuff like that. So my point is, it can be done. Keep the bedroom for sleeping only and keep toys out. Get a bunk bed for the boys, that will open up floor space (they have ones with good safety rails, and some can be trundle beds so the top isn't so high up and the bottom one slides under it once they're done sleeping. You just need to be creative and smart with the space you have. But you can do it! Take it as a challenge - watch a home improvement show to give you inspiration - and make it work. And keep the house on the market, the spring is a great time to buy or sell it.
Remember too, pre-school is not required, and he's pretty young. Most parents use it as a babysitter so they can get stuff done at home. If its too much for you to get him ready and out the door, keep him home. He can learn lots from you as well, and the social stuff will come with time, he's not an only child, so he's got a lot of it already. Also watch how he handles it, the timing of him going to school and the baby's arrival might make him feel as though he's being pushed out of the nest by the new baby, or missing out on the fun at home, things like that. Or he might LOVE it! So just be flexible to his needs and reactions.
1 mom found this helpful
M.H. answers from Grand Rapids on April 02, 2009
I am 29 weeks pregant with my 2nd child. I had the same situation around 12 or 13 weeks. Spotting that lasted for a good week or so. I called my doctor and they asked if we had recently had intercourse and we did...it seemed to go away after the week and I have not had it since. I didn't have an ultrasound which you did and you also saw the heartbeat. Hang in there, I was worried about it for a good month. I had no spotting with my first pregnany at all so I was very nervous just like you are.
N.B. answers from Detroit on April 02, 2009
Of all of the advice that I can give you, it would be..don't worry. I know that sounds like an impossible task, but sometimes the spotting is really minor, nothing that would affect you or your baby. I had some spotting with my second child, and it all turned out to be no big deal...he's healthy now. Just relax...take your docs advice, and don't be scared about asking for help (taking your kid to school and everything else). I'm sure you have people who can help you, and would be willing to do so!
L.O. answers from Detroit on April 01, 2009
Women often bleed during pregnancy. I bled for 3 weeks.. My child was fine. If they see a heartbeat on ultrasound. That is a very good sign. The baby will probably be fine.
I would get your son involved in some social activities now... library story times. playgroups... sunday school at church... anything to get him used to social settings. My duaghter just started preschool at 3 years old. she has doen very well-- but I have been taking her to library story times and playgroups for almost 2 years.. so she is very used to being around kids and talking to teachers..
most kids do quite well in preschool and are ready to play with the other kids. but any thing you do now will make the transitioin easier on him.
B.D. answers from Grand Rapids on April 02, 2009
The only thing you can do is rest and relax! Spotting can happen throughout the pregnancy. You are over the 12wk mark which is huge. Just so you know there is nothing you can do to prevent a miscarriage. Over 50% of pregnancy end in a misscarriage, however, not everyone realizes they are even pregnant! I have had one and I blamed myself for the longest time; but in the end it's all okay. I would just start enjoying the pregnancy for all it's worth.
As far as the house, good luck. I can't really tell you a whole lot more than that. The market really sucks, I'm in the same position as you. We need more room, but have to deal with what we have. My husband just keeps telling me to be thankful that we have a roof over our heads; I hate it when he tells me that, but it's true. Good luck with everything!
D.F. answers from Detroit on April 02, 2009
I had some spotting with my first pregnancy, my daughter is now a healthy 15 year old. I do remember I was told not to vacuum. Try to lay down and rest as often as possible.
A.H. answers from Detroit on April 02, 2009
I had spotting throughout my two pregnancies and everything was fine! You sure have a lot on your plate, but you have to believe that everything will work itself out in th end!
C.B. answers from Benton Harbor on April 02, 2009
Hi K.! First, You really need to stop worrying. I know sometimes that's really hard but it doesn't help anything or change anything. You need to stay healthy.
I also have a house for sale for 3 yrs. And My house is too small for my family. But the kids are surviving and they know that it won't always be this way. So they are fine. Everything happens for a reason, even if we don't like it or understand it. If you believe in God, then my advice is to pray. (No, I'm not a religious freak) But that's what I do instead of worrying. And it helps alot.
As far as your son, you have plenty of time to prepare him that because he is such a big boy, he gets to go to school! and make it really exciting for him. That's going to be a crazy huge adjustment time for your family!!