Desperate to Free My Boobs!!!!

with my first baby i just spaced out the feedings another hour every day. with my second i did that to a point, but then the bedtime and early morning feedings he was still hanging onto so much. so we planned something really fun that went past his bedtime so he forgot about nursing. we went to a basketball game with relatives. he had so much fun with the train ride into the city, playing with cousins and grandparents, and the game itself, that he didn't care about nursing and even didn't want much of the milk in his sippy cup. by the time we got in the car it was so late and he was so exhausted from an exciting night that he fell right to sleep and even slept through the early morning feeding time. when he woke up i got him breakfast right away. then that night i gave him and his older brother sippy cups of milk while we read stories. he likes to follow his brother. i couldn't believe how smoothly it all went. mine was 14 months at the time, but it could probably work just as well with a 12 month old.

I'd see if you can find a cup she likes. Straws are fun and open cups, too. As far as weaning goes, we just drop a feeding every few days. If you're making a lot of milk, it might be more comfortable to do one a week to give your body time to adjust. If you want to take a weekend trip and do it cold turkey, cabbage leaves do great for the pain. Those are a few things we've done. Usually our kids have weaned way easier than I have. :) I'm guessing my last will be hard for me, even though she already seems to not care at 10 months. :) GL!

M.,

This request takes me back 24 years when I was having the same feelings. I had read in books that a child will naturally wean themselves and it just wasn't happening.

The best guarentee not to traumatize your daughter -- come completely from a space of love. Figure out something that you can do as a bedtime ritual that she will love and that would require her eyes. Perhaps it is a special bedtime story that she needs to look at the pages.

When this activity becomes more comforting than nursing you will have your breasts again.

With my whole heart, C.
Owner of Loving Connections LLC

Get on a schedule for nursing, and be clear that she needs to eat solid foods in between. When she wakes up in the middle of the night, do not nurse her, lay there for a second and give her a chance to go back to sleep. If she keeps crying, go in and give her a hug, and maybe some water, but put her down again. Be firm. Slowly start cutting out a scheduled nursing time. Be aware that she is really craving that love and bonding. If you set her on your lap and love her while she eats this may help with the transition. As long as she is still getting positive attention it should not traumatize her. Massage could be a helpful thing here too, so find a book on baby massage. ;)

I gradually decreased the feeding times. I would take one off for a week, and then the next one. Ext. Both of my kids were weaned at a little after a year. They were both down to 2 feedings when I officially started weaning, so that made it easier. I actually explained it to my little girl who seemed to understand, my little boy was a little harder, I used Daddy to distract him, or I would give him other foods. Each child and circumstance is different though. I found however, neither of my children missed it when I was gone, they only wanted it when I was there. But my kids also didn't use it to go to sleep, so I don't know. That's just what I did.

I have to give full disclosure here and say that I may not be the best person to answer this since I nursed my daughter for 2 1/2 years! BUT...when I decided it was time (ok, ok, overdue) I would just hold her close and sing, tell her a story, etc. but would not allow her to pull up my shirt. I think as they get older it is more about the closeness, not the milk.
My kids didn't like the sippy cups either and went straight to a straw in a cup.

Like with most parenting issues, it is the parents mindset not the kids that delays whatever you want to do. Just say I love you but we are done with booby and moving on to big girl things. Still give her the closeness. If my daughter would cry I would just sweetly say, "I know" but stayed firm. You are obviously and good mom and you will not be traumatizing her.
Good luck!

Hi M.,
My advice would be to try to slow down a bit and drop one feeding at a time--it'll be less traumatic for her, and you'll feel better about it ultimately. She'll be weaned before you know it. I totally hear you about wanting the boobs back! Good luck!

My son self-weaned himself, so I have never made my child wean.

When he did it, he would drop one feeding and a few weeks later drop another. He did this in his own time and there weren't any repercussions.

Have a GREAT day!

S.

My suggestion would be to turn it into something special.. Before her B day, go shopping and have her pick out her own sippy cups. Explain ahead of time (this week) what she is to expect; that the nursing will go away when she's a big girl/one. Make it fun for her and help her understand why the transition is so special.. cuz she will be ONE! Then, on the night of her B-day, reinforce what you talked about all week. Say she's a big girl and that you're starting a new bed time routine in celebration! Play some soft music and read a couple of stories. I had music playing in my daughters room from 4-5mo on and it seems to help; even today when she doesn't want to go to bed (she's almost 4). It will be hard.. but keep praying and stay calm when she insists on wanting you. It's important to confirm her feelings... "I understand what you want; but you can't anymore cuz you're a big girl." Good Luck!! - D.

Instead of sippies try strawed cups, those are great and my kids loved it. I would put the breast milk in the cups though and continue to offer it to her over and over. If she knows you will cave it will now be a power struggle. You can self wean and wait if she does it but to be honest she could continue to use you as a pacifier and to get to sleep for years! :) She just needs something different to help her sleep by herself. One thing do not nurse her to sleep. Maybe just nurse only in the morning, but at naps and bedtimes try to just take that out of the schedule.

Change bedtime routine now, do something different, have your husband be the last to tuck her in. As long as she can smell the breast milk it will be tough. I did half breast milk half formula when I weaned, then just made it slowly to all formula, she doesn't need formula now at the year mark so do the same with milk and get her used to just drinking milk throughout the day. Have her pick them out and get excited about the new cups.

You need to just decide and prep yourself for a few rough nights. She will cry, she will be upset only because she hasn't learned how to self soothe at bedtime. There is NO way around that, sorry. It may be easy for you or tough, it is all about her. She will readjust her habits with a new routine. It is a habit for her that just needs you to be prepped for helping her break that habit.

Get her a new snuggly toy, change the nap/bedtime routine up, make sure she has a full belly and just prep yourself, you can go in, rub her back if she is upset and snuggle her but I highly recommend your husband do it to lessen the stress for her until your breasts have dried up.

Put it on the calendar, plan it and just do it. It won't be easy, however once your breast milk dries up she will be fine.

Hugs! She won't be traumatized, promise. It is a change, babies and toddlers don't like change but this is the first of many to come and she will be fine.

Wear a one-piece swimsuit under your clothes all the time until she's weaned--don't let her figure out how to access your breasts.

You're supposed to only wean one nursing session every 2-3 days. With naptime, just wear her out before - a playdate or trip to the park helps.

For bedtime, replace nursing with singing and a bedtime story from her mommy. Just keep pushing your shirt down. Give her lots of hugs and be very matter of fact about the whole thing.

"No, we're not going to do that any more. We're going to read you a story!"...etc

Hi M.! I started to wean my 20 month old when she was just about a year and I did it slow and steady. She was fully weaned Nov. 4. I never got engorged and Bella didn't have a hard time adjusting b/c of that. She didn't take to the sippy in the beginning as well, but once she realized she had to drink from it to get any milk, she got used to it. It just takes time and patience. Bella used to lift up my shirt as well. The only "fast" way to wean is to probably go cold turkey, but I have heard that it can be traumatizing for the baby. I would begin by dropping the afternoon feedings first and distract your baby with toys, walks, sippy (just to get her used to it), tv, etc. They are the easiest I think. Then the morning and the night time ones are the hardest. You can email me at ____@____.com and I can fill you in on more. Just realize that it might take time, but you'll be able to do it =-) Oh, you know what, if you want to be able to have your mom watch the baby too, maybe try to wean her from the night time one first. It might be more challenging, but you can do it =-)

Good luck,
P.

Ditch the sippy cup and start giving her milk in a real cup. You can start with breast milk, but if she's a year, you can also give her cows milk (whole milk - she still needs the fat for healthy brain development). She's plenty old enough for a cup - I starting teaching my babies to use a real cup between 6 and 9 months, and they had it down by a year. But you're going to have to help her, and limit drinks to at the table/high chair (you want to do this anyway to prevent tooth decay from carrying around a sippy with sugary liquid all day).

Take out one nursing at a time. Start with mid-day nursings that aren't associated with sleep and that can be logically replaced with meals at the table. She's going to need a meal or snack quite often during the day so this should cover many of the feedings.

Her bedtime nursings are more for comfort and will, honestly, be the hardest to replace. Start putting in another soothing activity now (like reading a short book or singing and rocking her) so she associates those with sleep. But there may be a time that you just have to stop letting her have the breast. Wear a close fitting shirt and regular (not nursing) bra to make it harder for her to get to the breast on her own. Rock and cuddle. Be prepared for some crying, just be patient, calm, loving, and firm.

In all honesty (coming from my own experience as a mommy and from my college background in early childhood development) it is very unlikely for a child to be traumatised by weaning. What will cause more emotional issues both now and later on is a parent being too harsh or too soft. Kids need love. They also need parents who will be firm and follow through on what they say. If you tell her no to the nursing, mean it and don't give in (for that time, then make the decision if you want the fight the next time before telling her no). Kids need appropriate discipline and limits, and by providing those you are giving them a sense of safety and security as well. Don't stress about leaving an emotional scar by weaning her. Just be firm and also very loving and comforting and she should do okay.

I nursed my kiddo for a long time, I just stopped nursing during the day and did it before bed and in the middle of the night, then it wasn't so bad weaning those middle of the nighters.

I so hear you! I remember those days! This is the Perfect time to wean! Just keep giving those sippy cups, every meal, snack, play time, eventually she will take it! Just gradually cut the feedings, three to two to one, than every other day and so on. Just make it gradual so your body can adjust and you don't get an infection. You might have a few tough days where she won't go to sleep but it will work! Just be strong( and it is so ok to do this, she no longer needs to nurse, I was soooo ready at one with all three of my kids!) Good luck and enjoy that freedom!