53 answers

Depression or Laziness?

I hope this is an issue that some of you will understand. Lately I have noticed that I am super tired and lethargic for most of the day. Blood work checked out fine, except low iron, but I already started on the supplements over a month ago with no difference. Many times if I can just get out of the house I feel better. But at home I just succumb to the fatigue and find myself doing the most low key activities possible. Unfortunately, with the heat, I have zero motivation to leave the house now as well. When I lay there trying to think of something to motivate me, I can come up with nothing that interests me. This was not the case before children. I was constantly on the go, unable to sit still for long. I find it hard to get out of bed in the morning as well. It is as if I feel there is nothing worth getting out of bed for (except to deal with children, of course). Am I lazy or perhaps suffering from depression? How would one know the difference?

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What can I do next?

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Hello J.,

Try 5-HTP plus of course diet and exercise. I have been taking a all natural supplement for mood called amoryn and it works. Or you can try "happy camper" you can get it from any grocery store.

Good luck,
J.

1 mom found this helpful

I am actually a lazy person. I also suffered from a bit of post pardom depression after the baby. The difference is when I am being lazy I actually enjoy being ploped on the couch watching a movie doing absoultely nothing. You dont sound like you are enjoying life. I would contact your doctor so you depression dosent get worse. If you want to try to snap out of it yourself I suggest exercise ( late evening when it has cooled off). Exercise pumps your endorphins and gives you a natural happy high too. Good luck and God bless. If your still feeling depressed in a few weeks definatly go contact your doctor. If you feeling like a worthless human, thoughts of suicide even breifly contact your doctor imediatly. There is no reason to stay feeling down. They have mild depression meds that you can get off quickly if they arent working out.

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How old are you? As we age, our hormones decrease causing us to slow down. Also, double check the thyroid again. If your blood test show low end of normal, request to be put on Armour...a natural thyroid hormone. Having low hormones with a doctor who won't help you is like having an almost empty glass of water with a waitress who won't fill it up until it's completely empty. You know the cup is low...why not fill it up now?

Also, could it be the adjustment from being a career woman to a stay at home mom? This is huge and could be depressing for you. I'm not sure how long you have been a stay home mom, but it may take some time to adjust. Just know that you are doing the right thing for your kids. They will remember this.

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I don't think you are lazy especially since your character wasn't so before kids. You are just tired. I have gone through the same thing. Some years were worse than others. I felt lazy or depressed. Yes, fatigue can cause depression, but once the fatigue was relieved somewhat for me than my attitude improved and I have started seeing the old me. Kids wear you out. Staying at home can be very hard and lack of motivation is my hardest problem to deal with. I can find any excuse to go outside - or go somewhere. But, to do housework...You just probably need to make sure you're getting enough sleep. I wasn't and it was causing major problems. The fatigue is normal. It is one of the most stressful times of your life and marriage. Try and make a schedule for yourself that is reasonable (taking into consideration fatigue, lack of motivation, etc. so you don't then get discouraged that you did not accomplish everything). That has helped me. Do something in the morning that you enjoy doing - anything. Take a walk, work in the yard, go window shopping for a 1/2 hour. I personally found that doing one load of dishes was mindless, I didn't really mind doing only 1 sink full. Then, afterward, It seemed to pick me up. I had accomplished something and felt like doing something else. Keep the list small and simple, especially at first. Don't get upset at yourself when you don't do it all. Plan a whole day - or a little part of each day - per week that you only do fun things. You will look forward to that day - or afternoon - or hour and it will perk your spirits. My mom always assured me that I wasn't being lazy. You feel like you should be doing more since you're home. But, you feel exhausted and have no desire to do what you know you could. Once I realized that I wasn't alone in this feeling - it has helped me to put things in perspective. I am tired of being tired. I am tired of not having fun. So, I plan for fun. I plan for lazy afternoons. I plan for chores. I plan for projects. I don't freak out if I don't get what I wanted done. I choose to have better days and make good memories even if it means I have a messy house and everyone thinks I am a horrible mom or housewife. My kids will know better for they will be having fun with me and have memories of a happy mom. I refuse to be this way every day. And on the days that I just want to sit around - I allow myself to do so without guilt. I have lived like that for too long. Try a change of pace and attitude first before you try medications, etc. If you truly feel that you are not yourself and that something is really wrong other than what you described - than get help whatever it takes. I had post-partum depression after my second child - and it was very clear to me that I wasn't myself at all - not just regarding motivation - but that I was beside myself and outside of myself. I needed help and got it thanks to my husband. That was a completely different feeling than you are describing. I have been feeling the same as you for a couple of years now. I still have bad days. But, I no longer sulk over them - which just makes things worse. I just make up for it with a fun-filled day. Then, I usually feel like cleaning or tackling something that has been gnawing at me for awhile. Then, I will have a fatigue day where I don't want to even get out of bed. I allow that day. But, I won't stay there for long. I see how it affects my kids. I know I'm going on too long - but I know how you feel, feel the same, and hear myself in your request. I have come to the conclusion that what you nad I are feeling is normal. Just break the mold, change up the pace. Find something to do for awhile that seems interesting. If nothing seems interesting - then force yourself to go outside with the kids all day. At least, you're still getting your "lazy" day, but the kids won't even know it.

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It is possible that you are showing signs of depression, but my guess is that it is inactivity induced lethargy. Either way, it will help for you to exercise. I am not generally a proponent of this or that organic, toxins in the body, but I really think that inactivity makes your body produce something that leads to serious lethargy...it happened to me. The way I combat it, was to join a gym. I was paying $40 a month which was motivation enough for me to get up and go. I didn't get up early mind you, just about 10 am. The other thing is watch overeating. You aren't using much in the way of energy, so you will be storing more than usual. I joined weight watchers and lost 30 pounds (at that time I had quit going to the gym for financial reasons and lost the weight without it). I had more energy both when i was going to the gym and now. Also, when it gets so hot, the last thing you want to do is be carrying around a lot more extra weight. I don't know if this applies to you, but it made a world of difference to me. Also I had to deal with the transition from having a career as a federal law-enforcement officer with a badge and a gun, to "just a Mother." It was a difficult transition for me, I felt like I lost my sense of self. I suggest that you join your local branch of MOMS Club. It is a support group for stay-at-home MOMS with activities for kids and Moms to do together. You also need to make some friends and to have some Mom only activities. I joined my local theater group and play Bunko once a month. I think it will also help to take some time to adjust your thinking as I did almost five years ago. I just began to put as much work into being a Mother as I did into my former job. I realized that my kids couldn't "grow up alone" and that I had a real responsibility for making them as good as they could be. Recently there was an article in one of my church magazines about the fact that we were all pre-ordained as Mothers and given this devine opportunity. I know most days it just seems like work, but there will be an amazing payoff as we sit and look back on the people our children become and know that we had a direct hand in that. Good luck, get up and get going! We are here for you!

1 mom found this helpful

I was severely anemic after the birth of my son and I felt extremely fatigued. It took three months of prescription iron supplements before I felt human again.

In the past I suffered from low energy & motivation and it turned out to be the result of hypothyroidism (I went from having a busy active life to too tired to get off the couch and feeling mentally slow). Once I got on the right dose of thyroid meds I got my life back. Different docs have different definitions of what constitutes a thyroid problem. There is some evidence that a TSH over 2.5mIU/L is abnormal.

This isn't to say that you aren't depressed- apathy can be a symptom of depression- but for me it was a purely physical problem. If this isn't normal for you, and you have lost interest in the types of hobbies and activities that used to make you happy, it is worth investigating both the physical and mental/emotional side of things. Just my two cents.

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Hey, J.! I have been where you are, it is not fun! You know it is especially hard on your family, I say that because Id id not realize that until I found something that made me feel better and my family made comments especially my children! I am older than you but what happpen I got very ill several years ago, had to get on disability, and had been searching for something to give me energy and change my health which I did find that. It gave me my life and overall well being back, that is when I realize what a bummer I had been to my family and how it how affected them for YEARS. It was difficult just staying at home, I had work all my life in sales, around people all the time, change in lifestyle is hard!!! I don't know how old you are or other things that are going on in your life, but if you have young children get up for them, be happy, surround yourself with positive happy people, get rid of friends that are unhappy and have problems(I know that seems harsh but your husband will thank me for that one), and depression is a sad things like I said UI have bee there, have a lot from my past, do not let your past control your future and the days to come!!! If you live in SA or surrounding area I would love to meet with you and aldo I have a natural health product that I have shared with all of my friends this what changed my health and has also changed my overall well being and replaced my disabiblty check, yeah!!! Anyway, I AM NOT TRYING TO SELL THIS, BUT IT IS A GREAT PRODUCT AND WILL GIVE YOU ENERGY! go to my site www.myxango.com/healthytxans4life. Also, my no is on there, just call me to talk, I love to talk, I have children from 33 to 21, all of their friends come to for free counsel- I was one of those cool parents!! Sweetie, I'll give you a quick overview of my life: my Dad was an alcoholic, my Mom had 3 nervous breakdown, I was a widow at 24(he was killed in car accident) remarried 2 yrs later, AND HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 28 YEARS! J., I woke up came to my computer, to be honest I usually do not read a lot of these messages, I don't know there is something about you, Hey, maybe we will find out!!! Just remember, be thankful, be forgiving, look at those children like they look at you with unconditional, and talk to someone you haven't connected with in a long time that puts a smile n that pretty face of yours!!!!

God Bless!!

B. Richey

1 mom found this helpful

J.,

Sorry to hear you are going through this - I am sure that many of us moms can relate. You did not mention if you are sleeping okay and/or if you are exercising. Assuming both are okay, it could be some mild depression. You might also see if there is a pattern that relates to allergens - I recommend keeping a log that tracks various factors daily including sleep, exercise, exposure to daylight, diet (including caffeine intake), allergens, day of menstrual cycle etc as well as your energy level on a scale of 1-10. I am a therapist and work with a lot of people with depression. Feel free to e-mail me if you have questions and I can also offer a free consult if you wanted to talk in person.

1 mom found this helpful

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