53 answers

Depression or Laziness?

I hope this is an issue that some of you will understand. Lately I have noticed that I am super tired and lethargic for most of the day. Blood work checked out fine, except low iron, but I already started on the supplements over a month ago with no difference. Many times if I can just get out of the house I feel better. But at home I just succumb to the fatigue and find myself doing the most low key activities possible. Unfortunately, with the heat, I have zero motivation to leave the house now as well. When I lay there trying to think of something to motivate me, I can come up with nothing that interests me. This was not the case before children. I was constantly on the go, unable to sit still for long. I find it hard to get out of bed in the morning as well. It is as if I feel there is nothing worth getting out of bed for (except to deal with children, of course). Am I lazy or perhaps suffering from depression? How would one know the difference?

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What can I do next?

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Hello J.,

Try 5-HTP plus of course diet and exercise. I have been taking a all natural supplement for mood called amoryn and it works. Or you can try "happy camper" you can get it from any grocery store.

Good luck,

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I am actually a lazy person. I also suffered from a bit of post pardom depression after the baby. The difference is when I am being lazy I actually enjoy being ploped on the couch watching a movie doing absoultely nothing. You dont sound like you are enjoying life. I would contact your doctor so you depression dosent get worse. If you want to try to snap out of it yourself I suggest exercise ( late evening when it has cooled off). Exercise pumps your endorphins and gives you a natural happy high too. Good luck and God bless. If your still feeling depressed in a few weeks definatly go contact your doctor. If you feeling like a worthless human, thoughts of suicide even breifly contact your doctor imediatly. There is no reason to stay feeling down. They have mild depression meds that you can get off quickly if they arent working out.

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How old are you? As we age, our hormones decrease causing us to slow down. Also, double check the thyroid again. If your blood test show low end of normal, request to be put on Armour...a natural thyroid hormone. Having low hormones with a doctor who won't help you is like having an almost empty glass of water with a waitress who won't fill it up until it's completely empty. You know the cup is low...why not fill it up now?

Also, could it be the adjustment from being a career woman to a stay at home mom? This is huge and could be depressing for you. I'm not sure how long you have been a stay home mom, but it may take some time to adjust. Just know that you are doing the right thing for your kids. They will remember this.

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I don't think you are lazy especially since your character wasn't so before kids. You are just tired. I have gone through the same thing. Some years were worse than others. I felt lazy or depressed. Yes, fatigue can cause depression, but once the fatigue was relieved somewhat for me than my attitude improved and I have started seeing the old me. Kids wear you out. Staying at home can be very hard and lack of motivation is my hardest problem to deal with. I can find any excuse to go outside - or go somewhere. But, to do housework...You just probably need to make sure you're getting enough sleep. I wasn't and it was causing major problems. The fatigue is normal. It is one of the most stressful times of your life and marriage. Try and make a schedule for yourself that is reasonable (taking into consideration fatigue, lack of motivation, etc. so you don't then get discouraged that you did not accomplish everything). That has helped me. Do something in the morning that you enjoy doing - anything. Take a walk, work in the yard, go window shopping for a 1/2 hour. I personally found that doing one load of dishes was mindless, I didn't really mind doing only 1 sink full. Then, afterward, It seemed to pick me up. I had accomplished something and felt like doing something else. Keep the list small and simple, especially at first. Don't get upset at yourself when you don't do it all. Plan a whole day - or a little part of each day - per week that you only do fun things. You will look forward to that day - or afternoon - or hour and it will perk your spirits. My mom always assured me that I wasn't being lazy. You feel like you should be doing more since you're home. But, you feel exhausted and have no desire to do what you know you could. Once I realized that I wasn't alone in this feeling - it has helped me to put things in perspective. I am tired of being tired. I am tired of not having fun. So, I plan for fun. I plan for lazy afternoons. I plan for chores. I plan for projects. I don't freak out if I don't get what I wanted done. I choose to have better days and make good memories even if it means I have a messy house and everyone thinks I am a horrible mom or housewife. My kids will know better for they will be having fun with me and have memories of a happy mom. I refuse to be this way every day. And on the days that I just want to sit around - I allow myself to do so without guilt. I have lived like that for too long. Try a change of pace and attitude first before you try medications, etc. If you truly feel that you are not yourself and that something is really wrong other than what you described - than get help whatever it takes. I had post-partum depression after my second child - and it was very clear to me that I wasn't myself at all - not just regarding motivation - but that I was beside myself and outside of myself. I needed help and got it thanks to my husband. That was a completely different feeling than you are describing. I have been feeling the same as you for a couple of years now. I still have bad days. But, I no longer sulk over them - which just makes things worse. I just make up for it with a fun-filled day. Then, I usually feel like cleaning or tackling something that has been gnawing at me for awhile. Then, I will have a fatigue day where I don't want to even get out of bed. I allow that day. But, I won't stay there for long. I see how it affects my kids. I know I'm going on too long - but I know how you feel, feel the same, and hear myself in your request. I have come to the conclusion that what you nad I are feeling is normal. Just break the mold, change up the pace. Find something to do for awhile that seems interesting. If nothing seems interesting - then force yourself to go outside with the kids all day. At least, you're still getting your "lazy" day, but the kids won't even know it.

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It is possible that you are showing signs of depression, but my guess is that it is inactivity induced lethargy. Either way, it will help for you to exercise. I am not generally a proponent of this or that organic, toxins in the body, but I really think that inactivity makes your body produce something that leads to serious lethargy...it happened to me. The way I combat it, was to join a gym. I was paying $40 a month which was motivation enough for me to get up and go. I didn't get up early mind you, just about 10 am. The other thing is watch overeating. You aren't using much in the way of energy, so you will be storing more than usual. I joined weight watchers and lost 30 pounds (at that time I had quit going to the gym for financial reasons and lost the weight without it). I had more energy both when i was going to the gym and now. Also, when it gets so hot, the last thing you want to do is be carrying around a lot more extra weight. I don't know if this applies to you, but it made a world of difference to me. Also I had to deal with the transition from having a career as a federal law-enforcement officer with a badge and a gun, to "just a Mother." It was a difficult transition for me, I felt like I lost my sense of self. I suggest that you join your local branch of MOMS Club. It is a support group for stay-at-home MOMS with activities for kids and Moms to do together. You also need to make some friends and to have some Mom only activities. I joined my local theater group and play Bunko once a month. I think it will also help to take some time to adjust your thinking as I did almost five years ago. I just began to put as much work into being a Mother as I did into my former job. I realized that my kids couldn't "grow up alone" and that I had a real responsibility for making them as good as they could be. Recently there was an article in one of my church magazines about the fact that we were all pre-ordained as Mothers and given this devine opportunity. I know most days it just seems like work, but there will be an amazing payoff as we sit and look back on the people our children become and know that we had a direct hand in that. Good luck, get up and get going! We are here for you!

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I was severely anemic after the birth of my son and I felt extremely fatigued. It took three months of prescription iron supplements before I felt human again.

In the past I suffered from low energy & motivation and it turned out to be the result of hypothyroidism (I went from having a busy active life to too tired to get off the couch and feeling mentally slow). Once I got on the right dose of thyroid meds I got my life back. Different docs have different definitions of what constitutes a thyroid problem. There is some evidence that a TSH over 2.5mIU/L is abnormal.

This isn't to say that you aren't depressed- apathy can be a symptom of depression- but for me it was a purely physical problem. If this isn't normal for you, and you have lost interest in the types of hobbies and activities that used to make you happy, it is worth investigating both the physical and mental/emotional side of things. Just my two cents.

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Hey, J.! I have been where you are, it is not fun! You know it is especially hard on your family, I say that because Id id not realize that until I found something that made me feel better and my family made comments especially my children! I am older than you but what happpen I got very ill several years ago, had to get on disability, and had been searching for something to give me energy and change my health which I did find that. It gave me my life and overall well being back, that is when I realize what a bummer I had been to my family and how it how affected them for YEARS. It was difficult just staying at home, I had work all my life in sales, around people all the time, change in lifestyle is hard!!! I don't know how old you are or other things that are going on in your life, but if you have young children get up for them, be happy, surround yourself with positive happy people, get rid of friends that are unhappy and have problems(I know that seems harsh but your husband will thank me for that one), and depression is a sad things like I said UI have bee there, have a lot from my past, do not let your past control your future and the days to come!!! If you live in SA or surrounding area I would love to meet with you and aldo I have a natural health product that I have shared with all of my friends this what changed my health and has also changed my overall well being and replaced my disabiblty check, yeah!!! Anyway, I AM NOT TRYING TO SELL THIS, BUT IT IS A GREAT PRODUCT AND WILL GIVE YOU ENERGY! go to my site www.myxango.com/healthytxans4life. Also, my no is on there, just call me to talk, I love to talk, I have children from 33 to 21, all of their friends come to for free counsel- I was one of those cool parents!! Sweetie, I'll give you a quick overview of my life: my Dad was an alcoholic, my Mom had 3 nervous breakdown, I was a widow at 24(he was killed in car accident) remarried 2 yrs later, AND HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 28 YEARS! J., I woke up came to my computer, to be honest I usually do not read a lot of these messages, I don't know there is something about you, Hey, maybe we will find out!!! Just remember, be thankful, be forgiving, look at those children like they look at you with unconditional, and talk to someone you haven't connected with in a long time that puts a smile n that pretty face of yours!!!!

God Bless!!

B. Richey

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Sorry to hear you are going through this - I am sure that many of us moms can relate. You did not mention if you are sleeping okay and/or if you are exercising. Assuming both are okay, it could be some mild depression. You might also see if there is a pattern that relates to allergens - I recommend keeping a log that tracks various factors daily including sleep, exercise, exposure to daylight, diet (including caffeine intake), allergens, day of menstrual cycle etc as well as your energy level on a scale of 1-10. I am a therapist and work with a lot of people with depression. Feel free to e-mail me if you have questions and I can also offer a free consult if you wanted to talk in person.

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Thank you for bring this up. I have also been feeling extreme fatigue. I do work and my husband has recently passed away, but for a very long time I have been very tired. I have asked my doctors and they all say that I just have allot going on. I know it is more than that. I started taking food base vitamins and it seems to help. I am starting an excersise program and looking for something that interest me. Don't be to quick to except the depression theory. I will keep you in my prayers. Give yourself sometime to get use to being at home.

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Girl, you have a big case of Mommy Syndrome! This is where you spend years taking care of everyone but yourself! You don't feel like you have anything to get up for because you don't. In becoming a SAHM you have devoted yourself to your kids and left the non-mom working you behind. So, what you need to do is redefine you and who you are now that you are a mom and not a working career woman. That was the pre-baby you. You need time off or time without the kids. Start finding a way for you to have an afternoon or a full day for yourself. Then try and figure out what interests you now and get involved in something that does not revolve around the kids. I went through this too and I started shopping, but you can't do that too long unless you want to get into trouble, so I started reading books again (ones with no pictures!) joined a book club and I had always wanted to do scrapbooking, so I got involved in that and met with some ladies in the evening time. I got granny to watch kids sunday after church and I began to use that as my primp day to cut hair/color mani, pedi's facials. I catch up on the world news and my community. I re-invented myself and I now have things that fill my time other than my kids, although I love and adore them, I am a better mommy for being a well rounded woman. They will grow up and leave me one day and I will have a life so that I wo't have to mess with their's. Hope this helps you to feel more like the old you. Also, you are a role model for your kids. If they see you taking care of your needs too, then they learn to take care of their own needs as well. You are just as important as anyone else and you deserve to have your own time and amusements and then you will have something to be excited about again. There are times I feel guilty because it is in our nature as mothers to put ourselves last, but it can slowly suffocate us too. I used to work in the medical field and we had diagnosed a woman with breast cancer and nomatter what we did, she would continue to miss her surgery to have it removed. Her excuses were family related, This isn't a good time for me to be laid up or sick. My kids need me. bla bla bla Well, 8 months later she died. She was so worried about how her kids would survive day to day while she was laid up recooperating after surgery that she insisted on putting her needs last and now her children have had to learn how to cope without their mom. This is radical example, but it is what I use in my head when I start to feel guilty about taking me time. Dr. Phil's wife talks about this too. Her mother was like this too. Hope this helps you to find yourself and you can begin to enjoy living again. Best of luck.

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Jen-- I'm thinking it could be depression. I went through it after my son was born. I didn't become a mom until I was 35, and that was after thirteen years of working. I was a teacher, so I had a very social job and was blessed with an amazing group of coworkers. We had a book club and went to Happy Hour at least once a month, if not more. Then I was suddenly home alone all day with my baby. I think the isolation really got to me. I tried to deal with it by joining a moms group, and I got lucky because I found a great one. Then I got pregnant again when my son was only one, and things got worse. I think I was already blue, and then my hormones went wacky. I finally went to see someone and got help, because I started to lose all sense of joy and I started to feel like I was a bad mom and that my boys would be better off without me. I'm really glad I got help, because I think it saved my life. You're probably not at that point, but it sounds like depression to me. I felt that way in the beginning-- I had to force myself to get out of bed, and I stopped being able to feel the joy I used to feel around my little boy. It seemed like there was no point to doing anything. Don't be ashamed to seek out help. At first I thought I could handle it on my own, but then I decided to get help because I knew my sons deserved the happy, energetic mom I used to be. I'm doing absolutely great now, which is saying something, because there was a time when I felt broken and unfixable. Now I'm back to feeling all the joy my heart can hold around my little guys, and once again I love to play with them and take them to the playground and all that. Someone once told me that depression is a crisis of energy, and we all know how much energy we need to keep up with these little friends of ours! Feel free to e-mail me personally if you want to talk more, because I've been there. ____@____.com


Sounds like dulldrums (AKA laziness) to me. If you were depressed, I don't think you'd entertain the thought of asking us for advice or help. That is one of the reasons that depression is so hard to deal with. People withdraw from society and friends and family and hide within themselves.
Now, it says you are also trying to adjust to SAH life. That in and of itself can be a depressing challenge!!LOL It took a couple years to get used to it too.
Try something free and easy for the summer! The Natural Science center in Zilker Park. The kiddos can dig up fossils in the park and walk around.
If sitting in a sand pit isn't your idea of fun, down south we have SouthPark Meadows. Take them to the playscape and/or playing in the sprinklers there. If you need a mom day, email me, drop them off, go to the spa and get your nails and hair done, drink a glass of wine and enjoy your day. ____@____.com
Right now, it's so hot outside, I find it hard to get up and do anything right now too, so I totally understand!!

I know that you said you had your blood checked, did they check your thyroid? If you have an underactive thyroid it can make you feel as your feeling or at least it did for me. Another may be that being a stay home and losing connection with outside friends could also be a part of it. When I stayed at home and just did the chores that needed to be done around the house I felt I had no since of worth, just being the maid and the mom. I needed some outside friends and time away from the house to make me feel alive again. Hope you get to feeling better!

I don't think it is really either. I have low iron too and when I take strictly iron pills I do feel better. Try swimming if you can. It is super hot and of course you aren't going to want to deal with the heat over the summer. Give yourself a break! Try a shower first thing in the morning and see if that helps.

I've experienced similar symptoms recently and found that one reason is that my bowels don't move regularly. When I'm backed up, I don't necessarily feel the associated discomfort, but I feel really lethargic and sluggish. I usually feel better immediately after I resolve that one.

Jen, I do not think you are lazy, and why would you ? You have raised children, worked a full time job and so on. That's not lazy ! Something else is going on. I am no expert; but, it doesn't take one to see that more than the iron depletion is going on. Ask your physician for a referrel to an Internist. Rule out any hormonal problem, and go from there. Perhaps you could benefit with some counseling. No, I'm not suggesting you are crazy ! Obviously, you are not; but, something else is a key issue.
Depression is a REAL condition, can happen to anyone, and is 100% treatable in most cases.

Best of everything to you. God bless !


I felt the same last year when my older one was 3 and younger one was a newborn. I could not go anywhere because the younger one need nap a lot. I felt like I was on this earth only for kids. Then I found a part time job, which I need work at night and weekend. Some people may think it will make me more tired, but actually it makes feel much better. I get some time spent with adults beside husband, Some time away from the kids, and some extra money for me to go shopping. It is said shopping make most women happy.

I am always sleepy. Lazy, I suppose. I always loved it when my son would take a nap, so I could take one, too!

Otherwise, sounds like depression to me, unless you aren't getting enough sleep. Whose choice was it to be a stay-at-home mom? You didn't even say how many children you have, ages, etc., which tells me you are not enjoying motherhood very much. You sound like you miss your career--and perhaps the activities/social life that goes with it. Either get a nanny and go back to work or try to be more inventive. When the children get older, they will be more fun to be around (when they can talk, create, etc.). Teach them (and yourself) crafts--challenging stuff--and take them to see important things, like the museum, or even a movie--or go swimming every day. And get them to help you around the house--teach them to cook! Wear the kids out so they go to bed early and plan some clever evenings with your husband.

Whatever you do, don't stay in this mode! Good luck!

Have you considered a food intolerance? Gluten can cause fatigue as it's become more difficult to digest since they genetically modify it. It's a shot in the dark, but worth looking into. My fatigue greatly lifted when I quit eating all wheat, barley, rye and oats. Hang in there!

Hi Jen,

The first thing that comes to mind is what is your diet it like? How much calcium are you taking? Have you ever checked into natural healing?


That is my free teaching website, the protocol I teach is on the theory page of that site. There are many pages on that site, so if you are looking for answers, please read over the site and see if any of that will work for you.

My name is J. McDowell, I am 61, I see no dr's and take no chemical meds. I almost died when I was 48. That is when I found natural healing. I have been teaching this every since.

If you need more help than the site can give you, please do not hesitate to contact me. ____@____.com

Blessings to you and yours

Hi Jen,
It seems to me that it is deppression,i have some of those issues,so you need to speak with your DR i'd try to stay away from the new ones it seems ythat in the years to come they recall or have warnings,now they all take a week to 10 days to build up in your system before you know the true effect rember this its important because some can just knock u out if so take them at night others can keep you going all day but not let you sleep so the 1st dose is a wild quess good luck

Something to consider...
How much are you sleeping at night? Is is restful, deep sleep or choppy? Long-term sleep deprivation can bring on symptoms of depression. Here are some links I found...


A 2003 Universtity of California study found that REM sleep deprivation alleviates clinical depression. Although the mechanism is unclear it is suggested that the deprivation mimics the effects of selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRI)...

Jen, I read one response about sleeping.. I went to the doctor because I was not sleeping well.. After my first child was born, 7 years ago, I have not had a restful night sleep.. Even if I am without kids, my body doesn't know how to sleep deeply. He prescribed me a very very mild dose of antidepressant, this just to take the edge off and help my body relax. It has really helped. Also, I have been making a point to go for a vigorous walk several times a week. Having done those two things, my body and mind feel much better... So maybe you aren't sleeping well at night, and maybe a bit of exercise will get the juices flowing in your body. good luck... J.

It is a combination of many different things. I, too, was a working woman and made the change to stay at home with my 5 children. I went through exactly what you are going through and this is what I am just now getting to do:
Make yourself get up in the morning and take a shower.

Join the YMCA, if possible, they have child watch there for free for 2 1/2 hours a day. Read, work out, lay out by the pool and swim or do whatever you like to do during that time they are checked in. They have so many different classes you can check out until you find something you really enjoy to do. It gets you out of the same routine and out of the house! You feel SOOOOO much better! You reconnect with you.

I do not know if you felt this way, but I felt that once I quit working I was of no use except for laundry, cooking, and cleaning which was not my cup of tea in the first place! My identity was always so connected to my job and what I could do to impress someone else. After quitting I felt lost that I always had to be doing something of worth. HOW DEPRESSING!! Now I go to the "Y" early in the morning, do things that make me "feel" better and it breaks up the same routine day in and day out. I have more energy to deal with my family and I am a more enjoyable person to be around.

I do not think it is depression, it is just change in your life, so embrace it!! :) Sometimes we just have to find something that inspires us to get motivated. That can be tiring to think about in itself. Once you get a NEW program down and start to meet new friends, you'll feel a lot better.

I hope this helps! Take care of yourself spiritually, physically and mentally.

Feel free to email me if you want to!


I am not sure what the clinical description of laziness is, but I would bet it is often misdiagnosed depression.

I think you need to see a counselor, at church or in the community, and let him/her know what's going on. Sometimes it's just a matter of talking it out, sometimes it's a matter of medication, natural or otherwise to get you back on track again.

Good Luck...

Just by typing "deal with the children" I would say you are suffering from Depression. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it and it can come and go. Talk to you ob/gyn if you have one or just your doctor. If you inability to get out of bed is also accompanied with highs that are hardy har har laughter moments; and then moments of crying or super sadness as well-it is without a doubt depression. The solution can be as simple as a pill (lexapro is what I take) and you feel so much more balanced. I also had issues with anger and it was directed at anyone. (Kids, husband, strangers in line at HEB, other drivers, my mom etc...) 20mg of Lexapro a day and I wish I had felt this balanced all of my life. Don't be afraid be brave enough to ask for help you will never be more proud of yourself!!!
K. Babcock

I am in the same boat and wonder if it could be hormone related....I am soooo out of it all the time, but I do have a two yr old and he sometimes wakes in the middle of the night,,,I am at my wits end and just want any info or idea how I can pull out of this too...I am sorry I cant be any help, but it is nice to know I am not the only one...I am a Massage therapist part time and a Mom full time...good luck

Excerise helps me to feel better.

I don't think you are lazy at all. This does sound like depression. Did you mention everything to your Doctor? If not, you should go back in and tell the Doctor everything so he can start doing an effective treatment for depression. I hope you can get this cleared up and I wish you all the best.

I know what you are feeling to some degree. Log on to depression signs website and read about symptoms . Do you have a history of depression in your family? Sometimes my feelings are worse when I have nothing to do. If I go to work everyday and get out of the house I feel better than just sitting at home. Maybe you should look into doing part time work or volunteer at your church. The more inward you become the harder it is to lift your self out of these feelings. By all means pray and MAKE yourself do something or go somewhere. IF that is not possible then you should talk to a MD. Remember you have a child that picks up on your moods. Good Luck.

Depression is when you just feel miserable about life in general. I was "diagnosed" with depression 14 years ago, and lived on different medications for at least 9 of them. For me it boiled down to just will power - I had to change my attitude on my own. Your description doesn't sound like depression, but judging by your description of yourself - trying to learn to cope with not working - you probably are upset. Why did you stop working? Maybe you should at least get a part time job for your own sanity. Not everyone is built to be a stay at home mom.

I was diagnosed after my recent pregnancy with post partum depression. It was for a variety of reasons namely a genetic condition my newborn got diagnosed with. I have been on medication for 4 weeks now, and I feel better than I have in a long time. My most recent pregnancy was very hard from the beginning, and I kept telling myself that the way I felt and the lack of energy was because of the hard pregnancy etc. I now realize that I was depressed during my pregnancy and it only got worse after and while awaiting my daughters diagnosis. I am not saying you are depressed by any means, but that I can relate to how you feel, and depression was my problem. I think that it was very mild during my pregnancy, but spiraled out of control after I had her. Talk to your doctor they might have some answers for you! Good luck!

Hi Jen.

I, too went through what you are going through. I finally reached my wits end and after talking to a friend whose a physician, asked my Dr. to refer me to an endocrinologist. He hesitated because my bloodwork checked out okay. After much persuasion (probably just to shut me up, LOL) he did finally refer me. Turns out, I have low thyroid. Because I am borderline low, I began taking a low dose of Synthroid. I couldn't believe the change. I now have energy and it's even helped me to focus on tasks and get things done. I go see my Endocrinologist every 6 months.

Also, you might take an early morning walk. Just to the end of the driveway if that's what it takes to get you started. Before long, you'll be skipping around the block.


If you have low iron, then you most likely have low FERRITIN too. It's part of the iron profile panel that doctors NEVER check for. I have always teetered on anemia... and I can tell you from lots of experience. Low iron makes you feel HORRIBLE!! But even if your iron numbers come back normal and you are technically NOT anemic, if your ferritin is low - you will STILL feel horrible.

You must take a LOT of iron to catch up and build that ferritin back up.

Iron supplements are REALLY hard for some people to absorb (like me) and you have to take enough of it to see a difference.

I am on a prescription iron called Chromagen Forte. It has 150 mg of elemental iron in it.

After a week of taking it back in January, I noticed a huge difference in my mood and my anxiety level (much lower) and my energy level.

Good things to take iron with to help absorpoption...

1) Vitamin C
2) B complex / esp. b6 and b12
3) Lysine (up to 2000 mg a day)
4) NOW (brand) "Super Enzymes" with HCL
5) Don't take with minerals, calcium, magnesium etc...

If you are low iron, you probably don't eat a lot of meat or animal protein... start getting some red meat in your diet. Take liver pills.

About Ferritin Levels

A healthy ferritin level should be around 70.
Mine was in the teens. It has VERY SLOWLY creeped up to 30. But seems to be hanging there. When my ferritin gets below 30, I have SEVERE hair loss and start feeling tired again. I am still trying to get mine up to 70. I expect it will take many more months.

Remember most doctors will NOT give this any credence. And will not even look at ferritin levels. Be firm with them!!

Oh, and if you get sick, your iron stores will dip again. It's maddening!!

Anyway - Make sure you get a full thyroid panel too (NOT just a TSH). Iron/Hypothyroid problems go hand-in-hand.

You want to get these specific labs:

FREE T3 (it must be FREE)
FREE T4 (it must be FREE)

Again - very few doctors will run these specific tests.

To feel optimal... You will want your TSH to be on the low side of the scale. Your Free T3 to be on the high side of the scale and your Free T4 to be in the middle. If thyroid happens to be an additional problem, tell them you want ARMOUR thryoid hormone (NOT synthetic).

You can email me if you want more info on your labs, etc...


Hi Jen,
You may be suffering from dehydration. 75% of the population is severely dehydrated which causes fatigue. Make sure you drink 6-8 glasses of water a day. (not soda,Not juice)I find that when I am tired that if I drink a couple big glasses of water I feel energized quickly.
Its difficult to adjust from being needed at a job and the duldrums of the day to day routine of motherhood. You need to have a plan. I'm sure there alot of things that need to be done around the yard or house that you can do. You need to plan each day with on line classes, painting a room, working in the garden. It will give you that sense of fullfilment that you are missing.
If you have something lined up to do each day and wake up and put that plan in motion you will be amazed at how productive your day will be. AND KEEP THE TV OFF!!!!. If you don't have entertainment while you sit or lie there, you won't sit and lie there.
Be productive and live life

Sounds like depression to me. I have had the same problem and decided to get help from a dr. The chemical balance is critical to feeling like getting out of bed. Take care of yourself and see a dr. for these feelings. I'm sure it is not an issue of laziness. Going from career to SAHM is difficult. Believe me...I did it 15 years ago!

Did your blood tests include TSH and T4 count? Not all doctors run the more extensive test and you could have a thyroid problem (not enough production). Your numbers could also be borderline (which may be evidence of a beginning thyroid problem). I went through 2 years of thyroid issues b/f I ended up with radiation and now I'm on synthroid. It's a serious health issue so if you continue to be lethargic I would go and get a second opinion just to make sure. Also yes, I experienced a "let down" of sorts after closing the chapter on a 19+ career as a lawyer to stay home with my young children full time until school age. I love being home and being with them, but it was still a big adjustment. Give yourself some time.

Hi Jen,
I personally think that it is just a face. I've gone through faces like that and the most I fell into not getting out of the house the most "lazy"/inactive I got. I think you need to find an early morning activity that would help you start the day active and positive. On the other hand, depressions have different effects in people so, there is always a chance for that. Why don't you try some vitamins Bs? They are good to lift your brain moods. Good luck!


You might also consider something in your house could be adversely affecting you. When I was younger and lived with my mother, we had a water leak in my bedroom that caused mold to grow in my mattress which cause me in turn to be overly tired all of the time just from going to sleep. My husband and I are trying to figure out if we might have the same kind of problem happening now in our house. I would suggest looking into an air quality test to see if there are any toxins in your environment if you try everyone elses suggestions and are still stumped.

Loss of job or change in life such as not working anymore is a very dramatic change in your life, don't be so hard on yourself, you went from having a steady job every day for 7 years to a stay at home Mom and its one of the top causes of depression, even though you have been home for 4 years you are not getting the same stimulation and routine you are use to, I recognize and understand all of what you are going through, I just resigned from a job of 10 yrs in California by the ocean to move to Texas due to my husbands transfer, among many other things that happen I too experience the same symtoms which have been diagnosed as mild depression not laziness. Do they have play groups here that you can get together with other adults and let your kids play together while you visit? What about an inside mall you can walk, everyday you need a plan, and follow it, start small even if its just take the little one to Walmart and look arround, cut back on all sweets, alcohol and excessive amts. of caffine. Sometimes as Moms and wifes we are so busy taking care of others that we forget about what we need, what do you like to do? Read? Any hobbies? Find what that is and make sure you do something just for you, this makes you a better wife and mother:) Now that I have written a minnie novel I wish you well and if none of this helps be sure to talk to a professional and also have them check your thyroid.

you said 'with the heat' perhaps you are just dehydrated...how is your water intake? Are you taking any medications that could also cause this?

How are you sleeping at night?
Any headaches?

neither... you may try to do some regular exercising daily; whatever it is...doesn't have to be extravagant. You actually have more energy if you are consistent with some form of daily exercise. Also, watch those high fatty or sugary snack foods, if you are one of those who snack; most are power boosts; then you dump hard!!!

Hi Jen,
I hope you are doing well today. It sounds like a form of mild depression or situational depression to me. since your blood work was ok, and you seem to already know that you are overwhelmed with kids and understimulated without the work force, then my guess is that you are adjusting to this change. You may have been too busy before to notice it, but sometimes these things set in later.
I also have low iron and deal with that same feeling, but I am going through a seperation of my marriage. My husband left me for another woman and I am dealing with alot right now. I agree, it is hard to pull yourself together at times, but I believe you will figure this out - you sound very smart and in touch with your emotions. Maybe it would help to seek counseling at church or to change your routine so that it includes time alone by yourself or with your husband - NO KIDS. They can really drain you!
I will say some prayers for you and hope that you feel better real soon.
Maybe you could also try some heavy, duty vitamines if you are not already using them.
Good luck - feel free to write back if you need to talk.

Try eating a little box of raisens. They are very high in iron. I have donated over thirty gallons of blood. When i am a little low on iron, i hit the little raisens, and also, grandma's black strap molasses. About a tablespoon full. I hope this helps. I raised four kids, have two grandsons and three great grandsons. Also, are you getting some fresh air, and sunshine? Best always, A.

a good way to find out join a water arobic class that will keep you cool through this long hot summer and you can get moving you might find once you start to exercise you will feel better and more active or join a pottery class or go bowling with friend
my guess you need to keep your self busy and chalanged to keep up you motabalizm
just an idea sorry for the poor spelling

Obviously you should not rule out depression but iron tablets can take up to 3 months to work, they are not a quick fix so you could still be having anemia symptoms. I was very anemic last year and was actually given iron infusions from a drip straight into my arm - twice a week over 3 weeks. The Dr had said I could take the tablets if I wanted but given that I was the Mom of a 9 month old that the infusions would work after 1 week and have much quicker results which is what I needed. Go back to your Dr and say how you're feeling. Maybe you expected too much from the tablets too soon.

Hope this helps.

Maybe you should try selling Avon to get you out of the house meeting new people and something that you have to keep up with other than just your children... It sure made a difference in my life.. I am almost never still now. If you are interested in more information you can email me at ____@____.com.

I have been selling Avon for 9 1/2 years and been in Leadership for 8 1/2.

Another thing you might want to try is CURVES most of them will give you at least a weeks free trial.. some times more.

Those 30 minutes of exercising and being with other women can make a big difference in your energy level.


I have had this exact problem...you probably need to be on good vitamin B for energy and stress. AND, you probably need to put a little more focus back into your own self...I don't mean set aside the family at all. But don't let yourself fall into the "is there life out there?" way of thinking and living. Build friendships with people that encourage and up lift you...and take time for your own little things, like a special hobby or interest. Also, I have noticed for me that things are only worse when I'm not eating well...infact, they get much worse. Go to a gym...eat good foods...avoid coffee...those kinds of things really can save your skin.

Google Adrenal Fatigue. A friend of mine recently had this. There is an excellent book out there written by a doctor that she purchased. The book helped her tremendously. It addresses causes (such as stress), examples of people symptoms, and remedies. It suggested a different diet and her energy began to come back within a week of eating better just be changing her diet. Good luck.

Hello I have just moved here and I am adjusting to a life change (your life change staying at home instead of working)and if I did not have to go to work I would definately not be getting out of bed..I am starting counseling on wed.but I am thinking about starting a womens support group for woman to have a place to talk and make friends.

Yes it is depresion and resentment. I went through the samething after I had my two boys. It is not going to be easy but what you need to do is first get help for depresion that will go away and then you will not need to take the meds but do at first. and Learn to love you life for what you made of it. You loved your career and now you gave it up for your children and you are blameing your self and you child for not have your job but not that you mean to. you are not lazy you are just trying to find your place in your non working life and you can do it you just have to want to find it.

I don't believe you are lazy. You had blood work done. Did your doctor do a full thyroid screening? My mom, daughter and brother all had thyroid levels that were in the normal to low range. They all were placed on Synroid, all of them are much better. Thyroid glands control many systems in your body. You really need to make sure yours is functioning correctly.

The heat is a killer, a good place is to go swimming. It gets you outside and you can stay some what cool.

You may want to talk to a counselor to see if you are depressed.

Good luck

For your low iron count, try adding teff to your food or oatmeal. It is the highest food source of iron and it won't take much. Iron supplements can make you constipated. It is best to get the iron directly from a food source. You can find teff at whole foods and health food stores. It is an Ethiopian grain, the smallest grain in the world--finer than sugar. I use it all the time to make sure my children are getting the recommended daily amount. When you had your blood work done, did you have your hormone levels checked as well as your thyroid? What time do you go to sleep at night? Try going to bed earlier. We all go to bed around 9:00. As far as activities, early mornings are not too hot yet. It is a wonderful time to walk, ride bikes, or garden. Many activities in the summer require small blocks of time such as the events at your local library. Hope this helps.

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