Depressed About First Birthday

We are all so busy with jobs, classes, or just taking care of the house that we don't see how fast each day passes by us. Just know that even when you are 60 and you son is 40, you will still see that baby in him, and love him as much then as you do now. Cherish every moment you do get to spend together. These make the memories that will make you smile for a lifetime.

i have gone through it with all of my girls now ages 7,4,and 2... my youngest is 6 months and its hitting me especially hard this time because i know she is my last baby since i had my tubes tied. its ok to cry and to vent about them growing up so fast but just keep in mind that yes,they are no longer going to be a baby but think of all the great things that you will get to experience as they grow... like their first words,first day of school,first date lol and the only way to get there is to watch them grow. so really each birthday is a bitter sweet moment for us moms. we are happy to see them grow but sad to see them grow at the same time.

take care

S.

Don't feel goofy.... I have a 14 month old and yes, I was sad too. I was sad (and cried) when she moved from a NB size diaper to a size one diaper. I was sad when she first went to daycare. I was sad when she started walking and eating by herself. I know what you mean about missing their first year.... You are not alone or goofy. You're a mom!!!

I am a stay at home mom and full time student also. I went through that with both of my babies. I would plan the party and be so excited during the day time and at night in bed cry my eyes out. With Emma, the youngest, it was even worse because she is my last child. I can't say you ever completely get over it, but each new thing they do gives you a bittersweet enjoyment. Good luck!

oh M. any good mom feels the way you do, you are right on track. It all goes sooo tooooo fast. I remember tripping when my daughter was 7 days I'm like she's not a newborn anymore!!!! I didn't cry at her first but I've cherished every walk I cheered her own from first word to crawling walking first piano recital, cheer and dance competitions, first 14 girl sleep over..........at the time I was like what was I thinking, thanks to my best friend we had lots of fun, award day at school.........to graduation day last May I have another girl entering highschool next year and my baby I cryed when her turned 10 last may next yr he'll go to jr high, that tells me its all going to be even quicker now and well that 24 yr old mom yesterday may be a grandma in hopefully no sooner than 5 yrs only considering my 19 yr old of course and i still feel and get around like I'm 25. So hunny do as I do and don't miss a beat get out the camera and video and you can recapture alot. The good lord doesnt want us to have it too perfect here, he wants to draw us near him. So while your here cherish every moment and the dusting, washing and spilled milk will be there when you get back, and dont forget to cry and laugh!!!!!!!!!!lol sis hang in there the best is yet to come.

I just want to say that I went through the same thing with both my daughters. I have a 5 year old and a 2 year old. I cried many a nights and days when both of my daughters turned one. It does seem that the first year flies by but try not to focus so much on how much time has went by but focus rather on the years to come and all the new things you will get to experience with your son.

i completely empathize with you, i think most mommies feel that their children grow up to fast, and that time flies like 10 times as fast after having children. but keep in mind that the best is yet to come! i say "what terrible 2's?" 2 is a fine age full of curiosity, 1 year olds days are packed with milestones that make us teary eyed because of intense happiness, that first sentence that comes out of no where and almost knocks you down, the first time they say "i love you mommy", then at three they develop very obviously unique personalities packed with likes and dislikes. my girl just turned 4 and i can't wait to see whats in store for her this year. I guess my point is that growing up so fast has it downfalls, but optimistically speaking there is much to be in awe of.

M.,

It's normal to feel that way but you've got to remember that kids grow up fast and the first year really flies by. No matter how old your child is he will always be your baby.

Take lots of pictures! Put them into a scrapbook with your own words of the special memories you have of his first year.

Make a Mommy Journal of your thoughts about him, about being a mom, about how he has changed your life. That kind of thing is running through your head every other minute right now! Or write letters to him that he can read when he gets bigger &/or grows up.

I felt the way that you do when I was pregnant, thinking about everything that was to come and simultaneously looking back on my own childhood with my family and our precious memories. I remember a quote, which I'll paraphrase here: "Being a mother means that you wear your heart outside of your body for the rest of your life."

The ups and downs are normal. We can't change the past, but we can change what we do in the future. Cherish him in all his glory, they are precious gifts from God. My sons have always told me that I am their best friend (and that is a wonderful feeling.)

I feel the same way everytime a birthday rolls around. My son is 4 now. However, I started trying to find the brightside...I sat down and looked at his babybook..and realized everything I didn't miss. It might have felt like it flew by but look at everything u witnessed in that year!! I also like to think about all the things we can start doing...my sone is 4 now so we can look into karate and tumbling, and I can't wait to be there for that. Now that your son is 1 he'll be ready for playdates, learning to color pics for the fridge, and I bet he's already giving kisses and hugs. I loved that time when Marek hugged me all the time :-)
So while the 1st year is gone, u have a whole new year and a whole new set of expierences to enjoy!!

Hey, sweetie... it's natural to feel that way, I do all the time with my kids (and I always think of myself as being a great mom!). I think of that 'guilt' as a good reminder & 'push' if you will, to do things better tomorrow.

This is a crazy world, and it's soooo easy to get caught up in all these things we're supposed to do... but if you feel you are not taking enough time with your son, then maybe that's a message for you. So a good question to ask yourself is: what can you do about it? Try to figure out some practical ways can make more time to spend with your son... and do it! Once you feel like you are doing something about it, then you probably won't feel guilty about it anymore... and you can move on to the next.

Best wishes to you, and may the time you spend with your son be fantastic!

Post Pardum can actually happen at any time for the FIVE YEARS after birth of a child. Mine hit when my dughter was 1 and half. Everyday seemed like it was going faster and faster and I was loosing my baby. It was terrible. I found out...with some help...I was NORMAL and I was slightlu baby-blue. So I joined a mommy-network, saw a therapist once a month, and learned to ravish every minute with my child. Everyday brings something so cool and unique. Infant was cool but toddler is soooo much fun. You are about to have the best year of your life...truely. Mine are now 8 and 6 and I still cry from missing them. They are no longer babies...but children. I still grab them sometimes to just smell them. I sneak into thier rooms at night just to look. And figuring out a math problem with your 8 year old is mind boggeling. It's never over...it always just beginning. Be sad, but also look ahead. I'm excited for you. toddlers really are a lor funner then infants!

I felt the same way. Once you realize all the cool new things he does and watching him learn and do everything, you will be more excited about watching him grow up. Trust me it is hard at first. With each new milestone, sometimes I get sad. Like when he started to walk and climb into the car by himself. Its like he does want or need my help anymore. It hurts a little, but then I smile and think I taught him that or look how amazing that is.

I felt the same way when my son turned one this past November, little did I know at the time the fun was just starting!! Don't worry, it gets better.

Dont worry you are not alone.. I went through this with all 4 of mine.. The baby will be 6 months old on the 1st.. and It makes me sad.. He is my last one..

Trust me...this is normal. Wait until you have to go through their clothes...

Oh sweetie pie, i know how you feel, but each stage has its own memories to make, so that should give you things to look forward to. Oh and thank God for those memories. They are only ours for such a short time! Look at how many mothers in their 70s and 80s, some that don't have their kids anymore, that still remember full well the day they were born. But then come grandbabies and that's a whole other love in itself! lol We're all with you, dear, you're normal. I dread the first day of school!

I went through that also. I doesn't get any easier either. Sorry but it doesn't. My son is about to turn 4 in July. I cried yesterday just thinking about it. It's not stupid to feel that way and yeah you'll feel silly and you'll find youself hugging him tighter and tighter everyday. But don't feel like you're loosing your baby he'll always be your baby. All the years will fly by before you know it you'll be where I am, not wanting him to go to school. My advice to you is PICTURES lots and lots of pictures.

Lots of Luck and Love,
C.

Hey M.,

It is sad to feel like you are closing a chapter to the time of infancy. It is a time you will miss. Try to embrace the memories. However, you just wait this next year is going to be a blast. If you think it was fun this last year,your in for a better time this next year. Really, it gets better every year. Although this next year will be event better it will probably go by even quicker.

Again,try to embrace the precious moments. Heck, my son is 9 and my daughter is 4, I cried THIS weekend and told them they are growing up too quick! They have seen me do a couple times. I know they think I am the biggest goof ball! But, oh well, they know they are loved!!!!

Have a fun 1st Birthday!!

CJ

Be Happy that this is his first birthday. How do you think I feel my first born is turning 50. Where did that time go?

M. B

Yes, this is very normal. And like others have said, this will not be the first time to feel this way. I cried like a baby when when we took my daughter's crib apart and put it in the attic. =) But just remember this.... we do want our kids to grow - this means that they are healthy. =) Though the "baby" days may be over, you will have MANY, MANY more wonderful times with your son. My daughter is now 3 and she holds regular conversations with us and she is like my little best friend. It's wonderful. Happy Birthday to your son. =)

You are so sweet. All of this just tells me you love your son VERY MUCH!!!! This is a good thing, so don't change a thing. Rejoice and be glad in it!!!!

yes. with my depression I always feel bad. One day my daughter(who will be 1 july 25)and I will have a good day. The next I am upset/emotional. On my good days I regret things that I have done or have not done, like spending enough time with her. I work 60 hours a week and I am exhausted. I come home and still have to clean because my husband "didn't feel like it, I want to be lazy" hello!! what about me being lazy. I do cry alot.she's this innocent baby that i get upset with because she don't want me and wants her daddy. I have taken time off from school to work. My hubby has a part time job.

M. I have childeren from 11-16 and to tell you the truth they grow up very quickly. And no you can't get that time back that you lost but you can start right now and in joy every moment while he is still little because before you know it he will be 16. start a video of him so that way you can always go back and laugh, cry, or what ever. Sometime I look at my kids and say where did the time go, Time is not waiting on know one, so enjoy now.........

vicky

My oldest will be 12 in July and I cry at every birthday. I'm not sure if it's sad because I am getting older or joyful because it's that much closer to the time she will be moving out... ( just kidding) I have 3 kids so I do it 3 times a year every year. I think it's ok and that's what makes us mommies. Every year is a good year and look forward to the years to come. The comics never stop and the challenges change for better and worse. Enjoy what you have and take lots of pictures and videos. The really like to watch them when they get about 10. Mine have been full of questions about when they were babies. ie what was I like, did I cry a lot, they love the stories so I just keep telling them. It is sad and funny and happy all at the same time. I never knew that being a mother could envoke so many feelings at once. Hang in there IT'S OK!!!

It's normal! I'm feeling that way now with my 7 month old, I had a tubal done and she is my last (I have 3 kids). The first year goes by so fast so just enjoy your son at this age right now and when the time comes, look back on it in fond memory.

I know all to well about being depressed about this issue. I have a 9 1/2 month old son who I think is growing up to fast. He will be one soon. I dread it, but then I continue to think of how he will become a loving young man with a heart of gold, that's even bigger than he already has. He is a loving lil boy. he is going to grow up and he will have tremendous love for his "mommy". I look forward to the times when we can have a nice little chat and just be there for one another. All i can tell you is that he will grow up and all you can do is go along for the ride. continue to raise him the right way and he shall not turn from it.

S.

I know this is from 2007 but my baby girl turns 1 tomorrow and reading this question and all the responses made me cry but it also made me smile. It's good to know I'm not the only who has felt or will feel like this.

I didn't cry on his first birthday, but I did cry when he started preschool and got pretty depressed in his senior year of high school and again when he almost joined the Air Force and again when he got a job that took him away from home a lot. There's nothing wrong with it. It's a mother's love. I think it will help you stay close to your child because you will want to communicate well with him as he grows and changes to keep him close to your heart. Even though I cried, I was also glad to go through each stage of his life with him and saw it as an almost bittersweet adventure. I knew the next stage would bring interesting changes, but it was sad that it had to end. Yes, it does seem that they grow up fast once you look back on things!

It's not a stupid way to feel. I feel like crying anytime I stop and think of how fast the TEN years have gone by of my oldest daughter's life and the fact that my BABY is seven. I don't know where all the time went. I know I didn't cherish every moment as much as I should have. And, even knowing that, I am sure that I still don't. It's a hard thing, I think, to appreciate life while living it at that moment. The only thing I can hope for is that, when my girls stop to think about the ten or seven years of their lives, they know how very much they were loved and that I was always there,in some form, for all the moments that we can never get back. And, although we can't re-live those moments, we never loose them because they are what make up our memories. Theirs, and especially mine. I hope it makes you feel better to know that you are by far not the only mom to feel what your feeling. You still have so many memories to be made with your child. And the ones you have from the first year will stay with you always. You could also start keeping a journal of "memories". The 1st birthday is a big milestone, but there are many more to come.

Oh yes.. I think a lot of moms go through this. Just remember it doesn't stop there. I bawled my eyes out when my oldest started kindergarten. It is such bittersweet and it is part of being a mom. You are not alone.
Hugs,

S.

OMG! As i read the responses to your request, i started to cry. My son turns 1 in March and I am amazed at how much i have changed as well as this beautiful baby. Kinda scary to think, these feelings arent going away for the days that they start school, activities, heartbreak, school dances, prom, marriage. This is motherhood, cheer up love, im happy that ur enjoying the journey and accept and welcome the changes, its unavoidable and great. Wish u well, enjoy ur first year looking back at u as well as ur baby, now toddler :)

You have gotten a lot of feedback on this but I just wanted to chime in for support also....

After everyone left from my son's 1st birthday, which was in late October, I set on my bed in my room and cried like a baby! lol

It hit me--He's one! That first year is gone! And, I was so sad.

But--OMG! Let me tell you--one is SO much fun! He not only walks now he RUNS. He makes these goofy faces and practically understands everything. He loves to actually "play" with me now, whereas before I would just try to play with him. He can communicate now. He lets me know when he wants something to drink or when he's feeling tired. And--I definitely don't miss those sleepless nights at all!

So just think of all of the fun stuff that you have to look forward to. I know it's hard to do. We've all been there.

Ask yourself this question and you might be surprised by the answer: Try to pick the "best" age your son has been so far. What is it? When I began getting sad about my son getting older I asked myself that question. At first I said, 5 months because then he could sit up...no, wait...7 months because then he could crawl...oh no wait...when he was 8 months and he started saying 'momma momma momma' all day that was the best age...no...it was when he could stand up and dance with me when a song came on at 10 months...and then eventually I found myself saying that THIS age was the best b/c of everything he could do.

And also... Just feel blessed that your little boy has the ability to get older. Sadly, some babies don't make it to their first birthday. So-just be thankful that your son is healthy and is here and is able to experience life--his 1st birthday is just a celebration of his life.

And congrats to you! The best days are yet to come!!

J.