Delaying Going to Kindergarten????

Send that boy to school! He will be fine and he will learn how to socialize thats why he needs to go to school now! if he has trouble and I mean him, not you! lol you can seek other options. My son is the youngest in his class according to him, his birthday is in June and he does just fine...young 5's catch on very quickly if they don't have any developmental problems.

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I felt the same way about my 5 year old. He turned 5 right at the cut off and we decided to hold him back. I was concerned, because I didn't want him to be bored in Kindergarten (he pretty much taught himself to read and loves to play with numbers). However, when I really thought of the why I was putting him into K, it wasn't the academics - it's the routines, classroom structure, peer interaction - all those things that are so important to social development and getting a positive introduction to school. Socially and emotionally, he just wasn't ready for all of that. Sure, he's the same intense little guy he was 8 months ago, but he's so much better able to deal with his intense feelings. The ways he has matured this year astound me. He's totally ready to go now. Too bad we have to wait until September! lol Good luck with your decision - I'm sure (whichever way you decide, and there are pros and cons to each) you'll make the right decision for your son.

One other factor - we enrolled him in preschool at 3 (almost 4), and because of his birthday, he was at the cut off for the younger class and older class. We chose the older class, because he was already interested in letters and putting them together and had a keen interest in dinosaurs and super heroes right along with the kids in the older class. He played well with kids a year or two older in our neighborhood. Unfortunately, it was an awful fit. My sweet, brainy kid was picked on for his "silly words" (tarantula, rather than spider; sauropod rather than long necked dinosaur etc) and harassed by the older, more physical boys and excluded from the girls' cliques (at 4!). Without going into details, it was heartbreaking. He was in no way mature enough to deal with these social issues (nor was the head staff person involved, but I won't get into that). I want my child to have a positive association with school. Stumbling socially and emotionally in Kindergarten wasn't going to provide him with that goal.

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I often am so confused by parents who ask this question. You don't sound like you expect him to flunk kindergarten though. They often do.

I think it is so important for kids to be with their peers. It is not so noticeable in the classroom but as soon as you join something outside of school it is really right there. They are not with their classmates in sports or other activities that are by age. They get put with kids their age and none of them are their classmates or friends. Then they get 2 sets of friends. They want to be with all their friends in all settings.

My oldest grandson was held back due to his dad getting him to school late every day until I took my grandson in to live with me and changed him to a school in my area. Even when he went back to dad's or even to mom's to live I could easily go pick him up and get him to school on time. He still had to many tardy's, every 3 tardy's added up to a half day absence. He had something like 27 days absent. He had never missed even half a day due to actually having an appointment or something either. The school had to hold him back for absences.

He hated himself and was forever asking us to send him to summer school so he could move up with his friends. He plays soccer and is on a traveling team. He is with kids his age. He is embarrassed when he sees them at school since they are a grade above him. One of them got in a lot of trouble for taunting him about being stupid since he was not in their grade.

I think it is important socially for kids to be with kids their own age. Kids can be cruel anyway and I can't imaging any reason to give them ammunition.

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While some research shows that holding them back helps, much of the research out there doesn't show that waiting is beneficial. It isn't necessarily harmful, but it doesn't really prove to give children the advantage that parents hope it will.
Kindergarten is designed for 5 year olds. Children who turn five before the cutoff date are fully capable of succeeding and should be given the opportunity to go to school on time, rather than being held back.
Where I live, there are a few different kindergarten prep options available. Maybe you should see what you can find in your area. For example, we have a "get ready for kindergarten" program offered through the school district that runs in six week sessions for the year before kinder. They offer a "kindergarten jumpstart" for the month of July. They also offer "reading readiness."

Also, if your son is prepared academically, holding him back for a year might be detrimental. If he already knows all the material and he's bored by the academics, he will be more likely to act out and struggle to sit still or follow directions than if he actually needs to focus on learning the information.

I know there is a huge trend to hold children back right now, but I don't think it is beneficial to anyone in the long run.

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My son is the youngest in his class here in Wake County, and we have had no problems. He is excelling at all areas. However, he was in daycare/preschool for 3 years prior. I think that experience was instrumental in preparing him emotionally and socially for public school.
If you feel strongly that he's not ready socially and emotionally (but is academically), look into a Montessori school and philosophy. This will give him time to develop, and keep him academically challenged. I am not sure if there would be one close by. Probably the closest one you would find would be Hampstead or Holly Ridge. Hope this helps!

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I run a preschool program from my home for 3 hours a day, ages 3-5 and this year I had a child exactly like this. In fact, her mom put her in Kinder and pulled her after a week because she saw that she wasn't ready. She has grown SO much in the year I have had her and since I have a small group I have been able to differentiate the curriculum for her because she is reading now while the other children are still mastering letters. Out of the 6 kids I have, 4 of them are going to kindergarten and I honestly feel that she is the ONLY one of them that is truly ready. There is just such a difference in the level of maturity, attention span, etc between her and my 4 1/2 year olds who will be turning 5 in September and October. SO... I would say, find a preschool program a couple days a week for the socialization and to further the academics and let him go into Kinder confident and fully prepared. :)

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I would send him to K and give him the chance to succeed. If it is a problem, hold him back there. I agree with your he needs to be with other
children. You cannot go wrong sending him IMO. Good luck.

TK is a good option. It is Transitional Kindergarten and will get him out to socialize while learning as well.

My daughter started kindergarten at 4 years old- she was 5 in October which was a few days from the cutoff at that time. She is a little immature, but is doing well academically. She is very tall, so I would think she'd feel out of place physically if I had held her back. It is a bit difficult that she is not ready for the "cool girl" antics of most of her classmates. Do what you think is best. I can say that it might be more difficult if your son is doing kindergarten work if he is ready for grade levels beyond. That alone can create frustration and a dislike of learning that won't serve him well in school over the long run. Trust your gut on a decision like this.

Wait. You will never regret it.

My DD will be 4 in Oct. and I'm so glad! She's sooo not ready to start kinder yet! She's very smart but very socially immature. I'd say as his mamma you know best. No harm in waiting a year.

I haven't read any of the other responses so I apologize if I'm repeating the same advise. My son is eligible for Kindergarten in September as well and his birthday is August 11th. I am holding him back a year as he is not emotionally mature enough despite knowing his letters and sounds. He is goes to preschool ( this year 3 mornings a week )and will just do preschool another year( will do 5 mornings), he is very sociable and I feel preschool has really helped with this.I love love his school it has kindergarten as well and has small classes. Look into preschools in your areas there are so many different types I'm sure you would find a right fit for him and it will help him so much for when he does start Kindergarten. I am happy with my decision and I know you will be. Boys do so much better when they are the older in the class rather than the youngest and constantly trying to catch up with their peers.

2 of my brothers were in the same boat - my mom held them both back and is very grateful she did. I know one of the elementary schools here is quite a bit more academically rigorous than some of the others and that can be hard. My daughter loved her laid back, cut and glue, sing songs kind of kindergarten - she would have struggled had she gone to kindergarten at the same school she presently attends.

Both of my kids are April babies and even though my husband and I made the decision to home school them for a couple of years, we still waited until 6 to start them in kindergarten. And both of my kids learned to read when they were 4.(My son will be 8 in two weeks and is finishing up first grade; my daughter turned 6 a week ago and will start kindergarten this fall.) Neither my husband nor I went to kindergarten at all, but we both started first grade at 7 and both did well academically. (He was home schooled for several years, but I was not.)

However, I have a friend who is a teacher and told me there is a big jump between second grade and third grade academically and she said the extra year makes a huge difference in how well kids make that jump. She said that knowing nothing about the kids, within a week of school starting, she can usually tell you which third-graders started kindergarten at 5 and which ones started at 6.

As far as socialization goes, there are plenty of ways to get that -- Sunday School attendance and Vacation Bible Schools in the summer if you are church-goers, most libraries have storytime groups you can attend, any kind of "group" lessons -- swimming, gymnastics, ballet, karate, whatever your son might have an interest in -- even just playdates with other kids his age. (Preschool might also be a good option.) It'll come whenever he does start school, anyway, and having an additional year to mature might make a big difference in how he handles himself with other children.

All I will say it do what YOU want to do. Don't let others minimize what you KNOW about your child regarding if he is ready or not.

This is what I have seen from 20+ years in education as a special education teacher and soon to be administrator.....boys with summer birthdays who start school at age 4 or soon after they turn 5 "tend to" repeat kindergarten. Of course this doesn't apply to ALL young boys, but it is a typical pattern. Why? Traditional schools are just not designed for little boys. Younger boys, it seems, have not developed socially and do not yet have the impulse control for success in the structured, more rigorous environment that our kindergarten classes have become. Many young boys are very intelligent and inquisitive, but many also have issues with attention, control, and maturity when they are not socially ready for a structured day with higher expectations.

Like many of the respondents, I would advise you to seriously consider your child's strengths and needs when making this decision. Ask yourself: Can he sit and attend for longer periods of time? Can he listen and wait his turn to respond? Does he have proper impulse control? Where is he academically with readiness skills (numbers, colors, directions, self-help skills, motor skills, etc.)?

Whatever you decide, it's hard not to second guess your decision. Many parents face this same choice each year and it's not easy for some. It was extremely easy for me when it came to my first born son. He has an August birthday and he would have been 4 for the first weeks of school. He wasn't ready socially or behaviorally and we waited. I've never regretted that decision and that extra year gave him time to grow and mature. He is an 18 year old senior now and he does not feel "older" than his peers; many of them turned 18 in the fall and he actually liked being one of the first to drive, etc. I know that for some reason I feel a little better about him being on a college campus at age 19 in the fall. It's a tough choice. Good luck.

I held my son back for the same reason, but he is special needs. He is offically the oldest in his class but height wise, he's right along with the other kids so you'd never know it. I think it helped tremendously and I don't regret holding my son back one bit. As far as your situation, why not find a pre-school that offers a full day? that way he gets exposed to being w/other kids per your husbands request and he is still looked after in a nurturing environment.

What does his preschool teacher say? How about his doctor? Has he done the K evaluation? (here, that happens in Feb)
If he hasn't had preschool then kindergarten is HUGE and I bet he will LOVE it!
Why hold your baby back? Let him fly! Isn't that the most awesome feeling of all, watching them learn and grow?

I have a very smart very immature boy.. his bday is june.. our kinder cutoff is december..he is right in the middle of the pack for age.

boys are not as mature as girls... I have been in the kinder classroom enough to see that most of the boys are goofy.. cant focus and only come to school for recess and snack time.

You cannot teach maturity.. ubt you can encourage good behavior . You can get him in classes to expose him to other kids and learn more social skills. We are working with my son on his behaviour and hoping for the best next year in kinder.. However I fully expect the prinicipal will be calling us to report some of the goofy silly things my son does..

My son turned 5 in July and we briefly debated holding him back. His preschool teacher said that he was ready and holding him back wouldn't do much for him. He went and has done well. I don't think holding him back would have served him any better as I think he will always be on the silly side. He did have 3 years of preschool, some of them full days, and is very social. From what I have heard about readiness--it isn't how much they know--they will learn the academic part. It is how ready are they to socialize with other kids, are they able to leave their moms and dads, can they handle a full day, and can they follow directions. Those things will determine how well they will do. My daughter, by contrast, just missed the deadline and started right before she turned 6. I could have had her tested and pushed ahead, but I am glad I didn't. She was very academically ready, but socially she was not. Good luck on your decision. But as a child that skipped kindergarten and started first grade at age 5, I can tell u that either way he will eventually adjust and be fine.

have you tried preschool.? my daughter is 5 and in preschool. she loves it. she is above most of the kids in her class but really enjoys going. i put her in preschool to ease her into going to school. her teachers even said she could have went straight into kinder and be fine but i opted to keep her in pre k because she is happy and seems to really enjoy it there. there are some wild kids in her class but after a month they calmed down. she also had criers in her class that cried for about a month because mom left them. it passes.

but ultimately its your decision he wont know the difference at all.

We held our daughter. She has an Oct bday and would have turned 5 after she had been in kinder for two months. It wasn't happening.
She is now 14, ready for high school next year and doing fine.
I do not regret holding her back.

I would suggest he go to an academic preK program, look into your Kindercares, Ah I just checked your location. No Kindercares. Check your school district. Ours had a preK program, so I'm sure yours does too. My kids went to Hunters Creek in JAcksonville.
THe churches have some good pre-K programs, I know there is a BAptist church and a Catholic church down there that my neighbors used. THey are in town, depending on where you are, Jax isn't too far. Check out the Methodist church too. THere is also a program across from New Bridge Middle School.

Are you military? Check base's child care center.

I held my daughter back and I do not regret it. She was ready academically, but not socially. She would never had made it a full day. I can see with her younger sister that I probably will be able to send her on schedule. If you think he needs to stay back, I would do it. He will be fine. I would suggest to make sure he is in some type of preschool prgram. We put our daughter in a bridging program that was for kids inbetween pre-k 4 and kindergarten. good luck

Why not let him do a summer daycamp to help w/ the socialization and let him start school as scheduled? Alot can change in a few months and you wouldn't want to hold him back if he's ready when school starts. My experience with a child that was held back by his parents was that he was the problem child because he was bored...at scouts (meetings and outings), school functions, sports, you name it he thought the rules didn't apply to him (he was a year older).

You could also let the school evaluate him and see what they say. Although you work in the field, this is your son so it's always best to get another opinion before deciding. If you do decide to hold him back, get him in a preschool/pre-k setting next year at the very least.

You could maybe put in half day preschool 3 days a week next year so he will get the structured setting and be with kids around his age and a nice transition before kindergarten the following year. He will most likely be the oldest but that is not a bad thing. My daughter is a sept birthday so she missed the cut off last year and she is the oldest in her class with a couple kids following right after her. She will turn 6 two weeks after she starts kindergarten. I think it was great for her that she missed the cut off. She has grow so much this year and ready for kindergarten in the fall! My cousin held back one of her daughters who is an aug bday and it was great for her and she will hold back her daughter this year who is a july bday! She would rather them be older than the youngest!

Give him a year of preschool and then send him to kindergarten. You won't regret having him wait until he's six.

I was always told that you never regret holding your child back but you do regret sending them too early. We held our daughter May birthday back! We are so glad we did but yes it was a hard decision to make.

I have not yet met someone who was not happy with their decision to hold their child another year!

If you're thinking of holding him back, do it NOW, rather than having him repeat a grade. I also really recommend a structured preschool at this age, rather than in-home daycare.

Next year! It will be better for all of y'all! My son was 6 when he started and it was much better for us! My daughter will not go until she is 6 either and she is not a summer baby!

I wouldn't feel comfortable with my child being almost 19 when he graduated high school. My MIL did that to her twin sons and they felt ancient compared to their classmates. My daughter was the second youngest in her grade and did very well. She could read before K and had no social issues because she was involved in many activities. Maybe he would be more mature if he was in preschool instead of a babysitter.

Wait! Truly, you'll not regret that decision, but you may regret putting him in earlier.